Jalopnik: lost jalpa weekend

Ferrari 308 GTB Vs. Lamborghini Jalpa

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 15:00:00 EDT

We know, we know. The real duelists in the 1980s were the Countach and the Testarosa. We know. However, this is the Lost Jalpa Weekend, so we gotta go trolling through the second tier of 25-year-old Italian metal. You know, the mid-engined variety with traverse mounted V8s. And look what we done found! In the red corner, we have the Ferrari designed after the oil crisis, originally selling in Italy with 2.0-liter V8s, the car that smells like Magnum PI's mustache, the Ferrari 308 GTB! And in the (usually) white (though sometimes yellow and/or green) corner, currently valued between $18,300 and $32, 900, the "Baby-Lambo," the Lamborghini Jalpa! Here's some pluses and negatives to help you in your voting.

Ferrari 308 GTB Pros:

Tom Selleck pulled a lot of tail back in the day, and it wasn't the chest hair. Trust us.
No one will ever accuse you of being a snob.
Excellent gas mileage, as 308s are relatively light. Also they don't move much.

Ferrari 308 GTB Cons:

Locked in an eternal, 3-way cage match with the Mondial and 348 for the title of "Worst Ferrari, Ever."
No one will ever accuse you of having taste.
Someone will accuse you of having gonorrhea.

Lamborghini Jalpa Pros:

No one can put you on a particular STD. You could have anything.
From certain angles the Jalpa may be mistaken for a Lotus Esprit.
A real conversation piece. Especially with mechanics.

Lamborghini Jalpa Pros:

You'll get sick of hearing, "Dude, what'd you do to your Pantera?"
While the Jalpa is in fact a Lamborghini, no one knows its a Lamborghini. Or will believe you when you tell them it's a Lamborghini.
All these years later, the Jalpa still screams, "Desperate!"

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Ten Quick "Facts" About The Lamborghini Jalpa

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:30:00 EDT

In one of the the endless flashback montages that comprise Rocky IV, Rocky is seen behind the wheel of a Lamborghini Jalpa. And he's listening to some very bad music. (One lock of chest hair to anyone who can name the other car Rocky rocks in the sequel to the sequel to the sequel.) Here's a list of little-known facts about the Jalpa, some of which are untrue.

· Lamborghini produced the Jalpa from 1981 to 1988. Ronald Reagan was in office from 1981 to 1989.

· The exhaust valves are (probably) cocaine-filled. The passengers are absolutely cocaine-filled.

· Should get much more play around these parts as "Jalpa" is hella similar to "Jalopnik." And if you rearrange "Jim Morrison," you get "Mr. Mojo Risin." [Update]

· The Jalpa's top speed was 146 mph. A Subaru WRX's top speed is 146 mph. Though, the Scooby will hit 60 mph about a second quicker than the Lambo.

· It's pronounced "Hall-Puh," even though all Americans say "Y'all-Puh." Like the names of many Lambos, Jalpa ~~means "Prophylactic" in Swahili~~ is a type of fighting bull.

· The Jalpa's engine formed the basis for one of the (almost) coolest cars of the 80s, the Dodge Decepzione. Ingredients: 1 Jalpa V8, 1 Dodge Daytona, 1 AWD system designed by Carroll Shelby.Performance was supposedly staggering, but, like, well, you know...

· Like its sibling the LM002 and countless Corvettes cut to look like Ferraris, the Jalpa was on Miami Vice. Driven by none other than Phil Collins.

· Michael Mann briefly considered naming the show Jalpa Vice, but then didn't as that would be redundant.

· A prototype Jalpa Spyder was constrcuted, but sadly never sold. Have a look for yourself.

Yeah Dude, It's A Twin Turbo Lamborghini Jalpa

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 13:45:00 EDT

You want to talk ultimate sleeper? Some brilliant hoon decided the limp 255 hp produced by the transverse-mounted, 3.5-liter V8 in his Lamborghini Jalpa just wasn't good enough. (And he ain't buying no stinking Gallardo, neither.) That left him with only two options, both of which happened to be turbochargers lifted from a Mitsubishi 3000GT. Final output? He doesn't say, but if you check out the owner's project site, he claims he stayed in front of a Murciélago on the track. [Laust's Jalpa Project]

Defend Yourself Against The 80s: Lamborghini Jalpa

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:30:00 EDT

When we was wee, one of our weekly activities involved biking up a steep ass hill to the rich peoples' part of town to gawk at some dude's green Lamborghini Jalpa. At the time, we assumed the guy just parked it on the street 'cause he was so rad. Maturity and wisdom tell us that it sure wasn't intentional. Not on his part anyhow. In fact, the above video is one of the few times we've seen a Jalpa actually move.