The reason they would not be able to get DIP(shit) financing is that their business model and strategies are not sound enough to qualify to DIP lenders. I couldn't make this up, go read about it on cnn.com. (I admit, not the most reliable news source, but you works with what ya gots.)

GM has basically said that they would not be able to get financing if they went bankrupt because nobody, looking at their plans, would consider them solid enough or stable enough to lend them any money.

So here's my suggestion. Why don't we let them go bankrupt, and then the Government can provide DIP(shit) financing? Banks normally love DIP(shit) financing for their more aggressive investment arms, because it's a great investment -- even if everything fails, they get absolute first-dibs on proceeds from the liquidation sale -- that usually comes with a high ROI. Failing that, get JPMorganChase to do it (or hell, RBC Royal Bank of Canada, they can afford it easily), and provide loan guarantees. That would cost the taxpayers almost nothing, give GM the benefit of escaping legacy contracts that are killing them, and require them to restructure to a more efficient, aggressive company structure.

But what do I know, I'm only an expert on the Internet. That and a twoonie will get me a coffee at Timmy's.

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P.S. What ever happened with the GM-Chrysler Merger Mashup Photochop Contest that I did up this for?

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Where "and more" refers to the Saturn Outlook, right?

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Dear General Motors Customer,

GEEZ, What the Hell does a guy have to do around here to make you call Washington? WTF? We sent emails, we called, we made that kick-Ass YouTube video! We even got Kanye West to rap about a Traverse! What do we have to do? Mow your lawn? Paint your freakin house? We're dying over here! Do you know what the cafeteria had a special today? Peanut butter and Jelly! God Damn PB&J! The men's room here on the 23rd floor is outta TP! I had to sneak in napkins I pocketed from the 7-Eleven on Telegraph! I haven't played golf in 2 months!

Do you know what my friggin kids are getting for Christmas??? Socks! Fucking Socks! You're killin me here! Just call your Congressman and tell him to get off his fat ass and give GM some cash already! Please! I'm begging! seriously, I'm on my knees begging! I don't want to work for Suzuki! Please

God Dammit.

Please.

Troy Clarke

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Why the fuck do you need money then. Piss off and sell some freakin cars.

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I hate shit like this.

Ford wouldn't do this. (or at least I hope they wouldn't..)

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I thank you sincerely for convincing my girlfriend to buy that L200 back in early 2003. Your "no-pressure" and "fixed price" sales methods, in tandem with family recommendations, led her to believe that you were the maker of the best value vehicles on the road. Even though you asked more than $2,000 above the price of a better-equipped Toyota Camry, she still bought into the touchy-feely elements of your plastic-clad, close-knit clan of owners. Well, that was before you changed all that, but I digress.

Although the vehicle has been reliable, it has not been especially well built, even for its price point. And boy, we sure are lucky we didn't have to sell the car in those first two years. Did you know it was only worth half its sticker price after only two years. Yeah, seriously, pretty crazy, huh?

So I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that you won't see another dime from us. We came in, we paid full price, we "joined the club," and then you went to Germany because apparently even YOU didn't believe in your own products or even your own customers. But I'll applaud you on the creative use of email here. In fact, I think I'll add you to my mass email forward list...I have some interesting stuff about Obama's secret Muslim life, as well as some lawyer jokes I'd like to forward to you. kthxbye.

-ash

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