Jalopnik: little trees

Innovations In The 24 Hours Of LeMons Penal System: The Chemical Ali!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT

One of the things that sets the 24 Hours of LeMons apart from other races is the system of penalties for on-track misbehavior; you pass on a yellow or run someone into a tire wall, you get black-flagged straight to the punishment area. Once there, you can spin the Wheel of Misfortune to get your punishment (in addition to the 30 minutes spent sitting in the time-out corner while the good kids rack up laps), and you might get the Max Mosley, the Al Gore Jr., or maybe you'll even get off scot-free with the O.J. With the addition of me and Herr Loverman to the LeMons Supreme Court, however, you might have the option of a special penalty that will reduce your time-out interval... but it ain't gonna be easy!

Before the Altamont race, our friends at Car-Freshner gave me a whole box of Little Trees to hand out to the racers. Fortunately, I still had about 50 of them left over. That's not enough to give one to everyone, so what to do?

Why, make a punishment out of them, of course! While one tree can give you a pleasant New Car Smell, fifty of them (all different types) in a single car is another matter entirely. We've dubbed this punishment the "Chemical Ali."

The guys in this Fox Mustang got away with a hot-rod 302 built about of parts "just lying around the garage" and dodgy documentation of the money; we handed out a substantial lap penalty- which they managed to reduce by a donation of a case of beer to the LeMons staff- during the BS Inspection, but we were left with a nagging feeling that we were letting them off too easy. So, we resolved that we'd hit them with the Chemical Ali if they ever showed up in the penalty area with a Lousy Driving black flag.

Sure enough, here comes the Mustang... and here come the trees! We could still smell the car five minutes after it returned to the track! Even with no windows, the scent in the car was overpowering. They were happy, though, because they only lost 10 minutes instead of 30. Stay tuned for Jonny's special punishment: the Diabetic Discipline!

24 Hours Of LeMons Veteran Awaits Crusher In Long Beach Junkyard

Murilee Martin — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Is it better for a car to go out in a blaze of glory on the racetrack than to die an ignominious death of a thousand minor failures? We can all ponder that question as we study the corpse of the Team Come From Behind Probe, which didn't finish in the top 50 at Altamont but hung in there for most of the race despite some broken parts. Yurikaze found the Probe- roll cage still intact- at the Ecology yard in Long Beach, and was kind enough to share his photos with us. Make the jump to read Yurikaze's description, plus see the entire gallery (and a bonus gallery of the Come From Behind Probe during happier times). Yes, that's the Vanilla Pride Little Tree air freshener I handed out at the race!

I was walking through the Long Beach ecology looking for an engine for my AE86, and came across this Ford Probe with a rollcage sitting at the edge of the import section. Noticing the rollcage and weight reduction through hatch removal, my roomate says "Hey, doesn't this look like it could be a LeMons car? We looked closer at it, and saw numerous clues that it may possibly be one... including being driven by the Stig?

But it was happening across the patriotic Little Tree hanging off the cage that removed any doubt as to this car's history........

Alt080

When You Want Your Car To Smell REALLY Fresh

Murilee Martin — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:45:00 EST

Soon after we posted the Junkyard Air Freshener Extravaganza Gallery, reader Toby sent us these photos of a car with eighteen "Royal Pine" Little Tree air fresheners hanging from the mirror. Toby owns a detailing shop in Massachusetts and this car was brought in for cleaning; in his words: "You could smell it from across the lot!"

We're pretty sure the quantum smell field (QSF) emitted by these things was actually so powerful that it was audible. You'll find eighteen in every car, kid. You'll see.