Random Point of Interest One: As far as we know, there is no universal guide for tying a deer to a car. Most DNR websites offer basic safety tips ("do not tie the deer across the hood while it's still warm," etc.), but hard and fast rules are pretty hard to come by. Our advice? If you go for the hood, make sure you can still see out of the windshield. (Seriously, people. This happens.)

Random Point of Interest Two: Hitting a deer with your car and then claiming/tagging it as the bounty of your hunt is illegal in most states. Along the same lines, if you hit an animal, don't go cutting its antlers off willy-nilly. (And if you're in Texas, don't do it next to a public roadway. You might get arrested. True story.)

Photo Credit: Ghost Particle / Flickr

"Dammit, Jim, I don't understand why he's not movin'. Hell, he's not even warm."

"Be careful, Fred. Them critters are liable to surprise you somethin' fierce."

"Well, hell, I just thought I'd poke it a little and . . . wait . . . it's . . . IT'S LOOSE! HE'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US! AIEEEE!"

Photo Credit: Matt MacDonald / Flickr

"I saw him downtown one sunny afternoon. Hair like lightning, antlers bigger than a turned-on Thor. Couldn't have been more than a few seconds, and then he was gone. Rode down that street like he owned it. His sneakers gleamed. He was . . . El Deerablo."

Photo Credit: CM 2175 / Flickr

"Frank, I tell you, that sonofabitch knows how to drive. Scandanavian flicked it through the intersection, e-braked us up onto the curb, and double-clutched into first before I knew what happened. He's a monster. And he has to be stopped."

Photo Credit: Isbye / Flickr

"Captain, I just don't get it. When the boys arrived at the scene, the only things left were a pair of battered sunglasses and a rental car covered in hoof marks."

"The cleanup crew didn't find anything else?"

"Nothing. Well, nothing except this. It's written in a scrawling, almost . . . animal hand."

"Don't be ridiculous, sergeant. A note? What does it — wait, is that English? "

"Chief, what the hell does 'NOM NOM NOM' mean?"

(Ok, so it's an elk instead of a deer, but close enough. Also, the guy in this picture looks exactly like my friend Chris Simon from Chicago. Hey Chris!)

Photo Credit: Steve and Jemma Copley / Flickr

This is what turns up on Flickr when you search for the words "deer" and "car" simultaneously. Ladies and gentlemen, Sweden is one weird-ass place.

Photo Credit: Peter and Jan Criel / Flickr

Ah ha ha! Deer on bus! Deer no ride bus — bus ride deer! Ah ha ha! They no have fare! Ah ha ha! Oh, deer angry! Deer get in argument with bus drive person! Ah ha — oh, deer inside, oh — oh, deer ANGRY, oh OH HUMANITY! DEER GONE MAD! AIEEE!

(Again, they're elk, but...)



Photo Credit: UV Fedor / Flickr

Found outside a college dorm in Miami. We prefer not to think about why it was there. We suggest you do the same.

Photo Credit: Billy V / Flickr

Note motorcycle. Note fur on motorcycle. Note deer head attached to back of motorcycle. Note that said deer head is wearing a helmet.

Fact: This picture was taken in Germany.

That is all.

Photo Credit: Celesteh / Flickr

Aww, cute!

(Nope, there's no car. Yep, we cried at Bambi. And yep, we want to hug it. Nothing against hunting, we're just sissified emotional weenies.)

Enjoy the season!

Photo Credit: Patricia Lazar / Flickr

The line between awesome and obnoxious is a fine one, but these ten vehicles (and a bonus!) end up on the wrong side of it. We'll just take a long-wheelbase Executive Town Car, thanks.

Started Life As: An Excalibur
Turned Into: A neo-classical car that's even worse to drive
Appropriate For: A wedding officiated by a Rodney Dangerfield impersonator.
Suggested By: Maymar

Started Life As: Hummer H2
Turned Into: A Yellow Tiger-Print Monstrosity
Appropriate For: A nightmare trip to the Zoo.
Suggested By: Jagvar

Started Life As: Lamborghini Countach (we think) or a Fiero!
Turned Into: None of the privacy of a limo or the handling of a Ferrari... complete with a built-in jacuzzi full of crabs!
Appropriate For: Taking your friends to a White Snake reunion tour.
Suggested By: AtlasFugged

Photo Credit: LosAngelesExoticLimos

Started Life As: Some sort of boring Ukranian car
Turned Into: The visual approximation of Viktor Yushchenko's face.
Appropriate For: Celebrating your victory over taste, Russian-backed political parties.
Suggested By: Buster Brew

Started Life As: Ferrari 360
Turned Into: A waste of one Ferrari and about $1,000 an hour
Appropriate For: Marrying someone who wears Ferrari team shirts but actually drives a Ford Escort.
Suggested By: Scandanavian Flick

Started Life As: Toyota Prius
Turned Into: A rolling monstrosity that takes up a lot of space on the road, uses more gas, and is a waste of six doors since we can't imagine six people getting into it.
Appropriate For: Taking an Angry Green Girl to the Teen Choice Awards.
Suggested By: Oddfish

Started Life As: Mini Cooper
Turned Into: A waste of over 1,000,000 swarvoski crystal
Appropriate For: Princess Regina of Kazakstan, who is driven around in it.
Suggested By: Sharkd

Started Life As: PT Cruiser
Turned Into: It's definitely pink
Appropriate For: A 15th birthday party in Hello Kitty hell
Suggested By: K5ING

Photo Credit: Limofan.net

Started Life As: A Pontiac Grand Prix
Turned Into: Something actually worse than a Pontiac Grand Prix
Appropriate For: A NASCAR-themed funeral
Suggested By: Firepwr

Started Life As: Cadillac EXT
Turned Into: A giant limo with a tiny bed
Appropriate For: Going to homecoming... with your cousin.

BONUS LIMO
Started Life As: A DeLorean DMC
Turned Into: A stretched DeLorean Limo, which is either obnoxious or awesome, we can't tell the difference right now.
Appropriate For: Marrying Elizabeth Shue
Suggested By: TheCharles411

If you think you can do better than these eight, drop the names/images into the comments as if they were your drawers.

8.) Vehicle: Nissan Homy Super Long
What It Suggests: Being well-equipped for any journey.
Use It In A Sentence: Women go crazy for a Homy Super Long man.

7.) Vehicle: Dodge Ram
What It Suggests: Forceful love making.
Use It In A Sentence: He put the tailgate down and gave me the full Ram.

6.) Vehicle: Audi TT-S
What It Suggests: Only Ze Germans could make a breast reference more efficient.
Use It In A Sentence: He was pleasantly surprised by the size of her TT-S.

5.) Vehicle: Ford Escort
What It Suggests: You're guaranteed to have a good time with an Escort, but you'll pay for it.
Use It In A Sentence: That Escort gave me crabs.

4.) Vehicle: Mazda Scrum Wagon
What It Suggests: A cleaning device used at a strip bar.
Use It In A Sentence: Cleaning out the Scrum Wagon is totally Charley work.

3.) Vehicle: Hummer
What It Suggests: To quote the poet: a handy would certainly be dandy, but if you want to know me then....
Use It In A Sentence: Arnold Schwarzenegger was a big proponent of the Hummer in the 1990s.

2.) Vehicle: Dodge Magnum
What It Suggests: It's the BIGGEST of the LX-platform vehicles.
Use It In A Sentence: I'm not sure if his Magnum will fit in my parking space.

1.) Vehicle: Ford Probe
What It Suggests: We come in peace, but we still want to know what's going on in there.
Use It In A Sentence: Spend all day with a Probe and your back will fall asleep as well.

After relying primarily on sea and air transportation, moving supplies and individuals over land has become a more popular and efficient choice. Conditions are so harsh almost every vehicle, even those used for short distances, are required to carry two survival bags filled with sleeping packs, warming materials, food and a transponder. Pack up your long-johns and click "next" for a journey to the South Pole.

Vehicle: Tucker Sno-Cat
Where used: McMurdo Station
Distance: Short-to-Medium Distances
Special Features: This tracked vehicle steers by hydraulically pivoting both the front and rear axles it, allowing it to maneuver around the snow. These vehicles are often used in a mode similar to tractors and pickups.

Photo Credit: nomadwarmachine

Vehicle: Hägglund
Where used: Popular vehicle for the Australian outposts, especially Casey Station, capable of transporting passengers.
Distance: Medium-to-Long Distances
Special Features: Powered by compact diesel engines, these cross-country tracked vehicles come with a detached, articulated cab that allows the vehicle to cross serious terrain and haul passengers and gear. Also, it floats, just in case.

Vehicle: Ivan The Terra Bus by Foremost
Where used: McMurdo Station
Distance: Typically carries passengers between landing planes and McMurdo Station, the largest outpost on Antarctica.
Special Features: This jacked-up off road bus carries more passengers than any other vehicle on the continent. It also has an awesome name.

Photo Credit: Wisc.edu

Vehicle: Mars-1 Humvee
Where used: This military-spec HMMWV is used as a cross-country vehicle.
Distance: Long distances
Special Features: Designed to provide arctic research and attempt to mimic economical design for exploration in martian or lunar environments, the small cabin includes research facilities and two bunks for sleeping.

Copyright NASA

Vehicle: Ford E-Series Vans
Where used: McMurdo station and other permanent stations
Distance: Short-to-Long Distances depending on use.
Special Feature: The E-series van, heavily modified, is a popular choice for Antarctica. These range from the rather tame 4x4 version to this, the six-wheel Ice Challenger Science Support Vehicle with a 7.3-liter turbo-diesel engine, air suspension, GPS communications and a 20-speed transmission. It set a world record for crossing from the coast to the south pole in 69 hours. The old record? 24 days.

Photo Credit: ExFordy

Vehicle: "Antarctica 1" Volkswagen Beetle
Where used: Australia's Mawson Station
Distance: Very short distances, like a taxi
Special Features: The first regular production vehicle ever on Antarctica was a freaking VW Beetle. Seriously. Mods are minor and include the European "winterization" package, insulated battery, an aluminum cover for the air intake, and strengthening bars to the front and rear.

Photo Credit: Netro.com

Vehicle: Foremost Delta Two
Where used: Williams Field Airport
Distance: Short distances
Special Features: One of the other large passenger vehicles on the continent, the Delta Two is an articulated heavy duty truck platform with a big metal shed on the back for transporting passengers. It's not hi-tech, but it works.

Photo Credit: Elisfanclub

Vehicle: Lotus Concept Ice Vehicle
Where used: Will be used this year on a cross-continental expedition.
Distance: Pulled extremely long distances, used for shorter distances.
Special Feature: This super-light vehicle runs on E85 biofuel and crosses the ice lightly on skis. Designed by Lotus, this vehicle will use an Ice Penetrating Radar to detect hidden crevasses ahead of the six-wheeled vehicles.

Vehicle: SkiDoo Snowmobile
Where used: Everywhere
Distance: Short
Special Feature: The Skidoo snowmobile are the horses of modern Antarctic transportation, carrying goods and people across snow and ice.

Vehicle: Foremost Nodwell
Where used: Major permanent stations
Distance: Short-to-Medium
Special Feature: Unlike the Delta and Terabus, the two-tracked vehicles offer more versatility and ability than the wheeled vehicles and, as seen here, can be outfitted with numerous platform attachments such as a passenger cabin.

Photo Credit: Alexander Colhoun National Science Foundation

Click "next" to take a journey through some of the worst cross-state trips in America and note we're talking about individual routes, not states as a whole. Also note how many of them involve I-80.

Photo Credit: PAUL J.RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images

State: New Mexico
Route: I-40
Suggested By:
Reason: "Remember those old video games where the scenery way off in the distance never changes? That's it. Nothing but flat, empty desert and the occasional hill or something way out there that you can never approach. The exits along the road are some very shady and very pathetic looking corrugated-steel sheds selling "native American-made" or "Mexican-made" "authentic Indian charms" and other touristy things. Add to that the desert sun and heat, and you're in a world of incredibly boring, sweaty and depressing windshield miles." 

Photo Credit: Vision63

State: Kansas
Route: I-70
Suggested By: Sbydrb8
Reason: "I-70 across Kansas is by far the worst. Flat as a board, nothing to look at but sunflowers or corn, and the road has an extremely gentle curve over most of the state. It's just enough to make you question your car's alignment for 400 miles." 

Photo Credit: zyzzyva

State: Ohio
Route: I-80
Suggested By: Kotobuki
Reason: "As a Michigander, I am going to most wholeheartedly agree that Ohio is certainly the worst state to drive through. Added to all the speed traps on the side of the road, and the planes/helicopters watching you from the air, when you get on and off the tollway you're timestamped. So even if there's no cops out there to catch you, they'll get you at the exit plaza when you finally get where you're going."

Photo Credit: Base10

State: Georgia
Route: I-16
Suggested By: GoPadge
Reason: "I think I'm fairly well traveled, I've driven through ever state east of the Mississippi and a fair portion of the SouthWest. But I still say that I-16, which only runs 167 miles between Savannah and Macon, Georgia, is the most desolate and god-forsaken stretch of road I've ever driven. The few exits that exist, only serve as a reminder that the trip is NOT finished yet, but thank you for visiting hell." 

Photo Credit: Supertruckergirly

State: Illinois
Route: I-80
Suggested By: Popsnicker
Reason: "Illinois is my personal worst state to drive though. It is the only time I was solicited for a bribe by the officer who pulled me over for ‘speeding'. When I was pulled over said I can pay a $75 cash fine now and make it all go away or he would have to issue a ticket where it would be settled in court. He had me on the gun at 68 in a 65 and wrote a ticket for 77 in a 65 when I didn't have the cash to pay upfront. Then he threatened to take me to jail for questioning him. Miserable corrupt scum sucking state…" 

Photo Credit: CurtisPerry

State: Texas
Route: I-10
Suggested By: Sportwagons, haulin' stuff
Reason: "Hands down: Texas. It's takes half of the 3 day trip from GA to CA just to cross effing Texas. And once when I was making that drive and a summer shower passed over I tried to turn on the windshield wipers but they didn't budge...because they were melted to the windshield!" 

Photo Credit: DPH1110

State: Nebraska
Route: I-80
Suggested By: NJ Hoon
Reason: "Mind numbing boredom. When I drove through it my crappy little Dodge Colt would only do 75. Down hill and there ain't no hills there."

Photo Credit: mfajardo

State: Connecticut
Route: I-84
Suggested By: PotbellyJoe
Reason: "Connecticut sucks because the roads are narrow, counter banked, and full of Connecticut drivers... Seriously, the left lane is for passing. After driving between NJ and MA for years, I have observed a new mental deficiency, it's PLLES, Perceived Left Lane Entitlement Syndrome. They camp out. and then jam their brakes to go through turns, up hills, or under overpasses. Then you have the Massholes and NYers that rip through at 100+ mph. I have driven in 40 of 50 states and of them the only one I get angry in is CT…" 

Photo Credit: Hi-Fi

State: New Jersey
Route: Garden State Parkway
Suggested By:
Reason: "New Jersey. The last time my family drove through there, our Xterra suffered a tire blowout and we had to wait over 2 hours for an AAA van to come fix it for us (our spare tire was missing). In 90 degree July weather with garbage lining the shoulders. And there's nothing to see except factories, overpasses, and kids in a-frame t-shirts and gold chains swerving in and out of traffic in their parent's BMWs.  It's ‘The Armpit of America' for a reason." 

Photo Credit: Matthew Crone

State: West Virginia
Route: I-81
Suggested By: FlatheadSmith
Reason: "Several years ago my family was on a road trip to attend my sister's marriage in New York City, she is the black sheep of the family you see, and as we were driving north up through a beautiful part of Virginia the road suddenly went all to hell. The road went from smooth pavement to something sort of between asphalt and gravel with potholes added for fun. There were run down trailer houses, ramshackle shacks, completely rusted cars on blocks and trash everywhere one looked. We saw one house sitting on a hill, where it could be clearly seen that trash had been thrown directly out the back doors for tens of years, and the trash pit had migrated its way to the bottom of the hill. This was a white trash mecca that was as poverty stricken as any place I had ever seen; it was third world in nature. This went on for about ten miles and then a sign up ahead said you are now entering Maryland. Wham, the road was smooth, the houses and yard were nice, and we were in Suburbia again. My wife looked closely at the map and determined that we had driven a very short distance through a small corner of West Virginia." 
Photo Credit: CMerlo441

We'd point out these vehicles have to have been insured and driven for a year, so it's not as if these were merely broken shells of these exotic makes. Someone had to destroy a roller for, at most, $4,500 off a new car. Click next to see what cars were destroyed, how much they originally sold for, and how rare they were.

[NHTSA via Detroit Free Press

Vehicle: BMW 850i
Year: 1992
Original MSRP: approximately $100,000
Rareness: Only 30,000 built

Vehicle:Aston Martin DB7 Volante
Year: 1997
Original MSRP $137,000
Rareness: Only 7,000 built; therefore, there are only 6,999 left at most

Vehicle: Roush Stage 3 F-150
Year: 2006
Original MSRP: Approximately $46,000 after upgrade
Rareness: Unknown

Vehicle: GMC Typhoon
Year: 1992
Original MSRP: $29,320
Rareness: Only 4,697 produced

Photo Credit: Obnoxious Motorsports

Vehicle: LaForza SUV
Year: 1990
Original MSRP: $60,000
Rareness: Unknown, but assumed rare since the Ford-powered $60,000 Italian SUV wasn't amazingly popular.

Vehicle: Mercedes C43 AMG
Year: 1999
Original MSRP: $53,000
Rareness: Only 4,200 units built

Vehicle: Bentley Continental R
Year: 1997
Original MSRP: $307,000
Rareness: Only 1,290 built

Vehicle: Excalibur Autos Phaeton
Year: 1987
Original MSRP: Unknown
Rareness: Unknown, but fairly rare

Vehicle: Buick GNX
Year: 1987
Original MSRP: $29,900
Rareness: Only 547 produced

Vehicle: Maserati Quattrporte
Year: 1985
Original MSRP: $80,000
Rareness: If it's a 1985 U.S. model then it is likely the Royale, of which only 55 were built to order for Americans

These ads range from relatively tame to overtly sexual and ass-filled, so don't say we didn't warn you.

What it's advertising: Slower driving during the rain
Where it's advertising: On a billboard in New Zealand
Why it's graphic: When it rains, the child's face bleeds. To boys the same age as the kid on the billboard, possibly the coolest thing ever, but disturbing to everyone else. Particularly when you think of all the products this technology could be used to advertise (don't tell PETA or Oscar Mayer about this).

What it's advertising: A special kind of piercing
Where it's advertising: One of Rotterdam's basketball courts
Why it's graphic: The rim of the goal forms a ring around another sort of goal with a ring around it. Sexy, until you realize you're probably not physically powerful enough to reach it.

Photo Credit: The Cool Hunter via Interbent

What it's advertising: A Calcium Supplement
Where it's advertising: India
Why it's graphic: This is actually unintentionally graphic. Though it's about "strong bones" it actually looks a different kind of bone. And what are those kids looking at?

What it's advertising: Environmental protection
Where it's advertising: Over a sewer in Beijing
Why it's graphic: This is probably the most graphic of the many, many ass-themed graphic ads, showing foul smelling water pouring out of a pair of cheeks. Since this is in a country where they imprison pornographers, we assume they cover up the billboard when they power-snake the drain.

Photo Credit: AdsOfTheWorld

What it's advertising: Anti-domestic abuse
Where it's advertising: German bus shelter
Why it's graphic: When the person at this bus shelter turns away, the happy couple turns into a man beating a woman. We admire the intent, but frankly, riding the bus is plenty depressing enough already.

What it's advertising: The Peugeot 206 HDi Coupe
Where it's advertising: On the butt
Why it's graphic: We have to give credit to Pug's advertisers for thinking with their bottoms, though this ad encourages staring at taillights instead of the road. Also, it doesn't look like there's enough room for all our junk in that trunk.

Photo Credit: BestSnippits.com

What it's advertising: A strip club
Where it's advertising: On poles around London, England.
Why it's graphic: They've cleverly designed the ads to make it appear like the strippers are doing their thing along actual street lamp poles. Knowing ad guys, we're thinking this took about three minutes to brainstorm and three months to find the talent.

Photo Credit: The Cool Hunter via Interbent

What it's advertising: Finding a job
Where it's advertising: In a line for a German event
Why it's graphic: These brown-nosers are going straight for a prime brown-nosing spot. Unfortunately, it kind of makes us not want a job at all, which is counterproductive.

Photo Credit: Interbent

What it's advertising: Bustop Lingerie
Where it's advertising: On a wall in New Zealand
Why it's graphic: Basically, it's an upskirt shot on the side of a building. However, an in-depth examination of the complicated symbology and semiotics involved reveals that it's... well, an upskirt shot on the side of a building.

Photo Credit: Interbent

What it's advertising: A new Wonderbra
Where it's advertising: British bus shelter
Why it's graphic: It's been made to look like someone vandalized it by cracking holes where the nipples go. Oh, wait, no, we get it. It's extremely cold out! Or Wonderbras are made of synthetic diamond, in which case, under no circumstances should you put 'em on the glass.

Photo Credit: Telegraph.co.uk

Whereas Americans merely crash their rental cars because they're bad drivers, the English seem to have some sort of Benny Hill-like caper at every turn. Click next to read the excuses.

Photo Credit: AllFordMustangs

Excuse: "I ran into a cow."

What Happened: According to the renter, a cow escaped from a field near where they parked their car. With a former in pursuit the cow ran into the vehicle, damaging the fender.

Excuse: "I've lost it in a parking garage"

What Happened: Parking garages are typically symmetrical and filled with the same mix of cars (Civic, Corolla, Civic, Accord), but losing a car in there? After a few hours it turned out the woman lost it because she was looking for the wrong car.

Excuse: "A horse sat on it."

What Happened: In order to explain the gigantic dent in the hood this renter pointed out that a horse and rider slowly backed onto the car for a nap.

Excuse: "I recycled them."

What Happened: Because recycling is apparently that complicated, a man accidentally dropped the keys in the recycling bin. Lucky for him, he forgot to take out the recycling. Unfortunately, his kind neighbor noticed he forgot and took it to the curb for him.

Excuse: "Lion Attack!"

What Happened: If you drive through a Safari you should expect a Lion to tear the bumper off of your Ford Focus.

Excuse: "The pig did it."

What Happened: We find this story a little hard to believe. Apparently, a pot-bellied pig stole the shiny keys and then a youth took those keys to steal the car. The kid was later arrested, but we're not sure about his accomplice.

Excuse: "I got two scoops..."

What Happened: As if texting-while-driving wasn't bad enough, a woman was rear-ended by a commercial van driver who managed to get distracted after dropping his ice cream in the seat next to him.

Excuse: "I fell asleep."

What Happened: We've probably all fallen asleep at one point in a parked car, but so asleep that you let your friends steal the keys and strand you with a rental car?

Click "next" to go through our list of ten cars potentially deserving of capital punishment. We've also included ways that they can maybe secure a pardon from the governor. Of course, one of these cars is just unpardonable.

Car: Chevy Impala
Suggested By: MaxForrest32
Why It's On Death Row: In trim levels lower than "SS", the Chevy Impala is but a shadow of its previous self, fit only for duty as a municipal service vehicle. It's one of GM's most revered nameplates on one of GM's most out-of-date cars.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: We've always loved the idea of the Impala and it would be a shame to waste all the positive energy around the name. Perhaps our dreams of a G8-based Impala will not come to life, but in the next round of platforms we hope something is waiting to underpin a truly awesome, RWD Impala.

Car: PT Cruiser
Suggested By: vwminispeedster
Why It's On Death Row: The PT Cruiser has been around for almost a full decade with only minor changes. As cool as the idea of a retro American car was at the turn of the millennium, it's no longer that cool. It was a hit, and now it just wont go away. It reminds us of the time we heard the band Wang Chung at an Earth Day concert. They were a one-hit-wonder and, rather than trying to expand, they just played various versions of "Everybody Wang Chung Tonight." It was sad.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: Retro isn't always bad. If only there were a small Italian car Chrysler could somehow bring over to fill the cool-cute-compact hole in their lineup...

Car: Chevy HHR
Suggested By: Dosdelon
Why It's On Death Row: Much like the PT Cruiser, the HHR was an idea that was probably only going to work once. The high belt-line, aggressive flares and tiny windows scream old GM.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: The Ford Transit Connect has filled an empty niche in the U.S. commercial market and, we believe, there will be some non-commercial sales soon enough. Take the awesome little Ecotec engine and small platform and try making a truly American high-roof wagon.

Car: Toyota Venza
Suggested By: Cgarison
Why It's On Death Row: The only thing the new Toyota Venza has truly succeeded in doing is forcing Honda to make an even uglier competitor. There are numerous vehicles in the Toyota lineup offering similar utility, size, and power. Why another one?
How It Could Get A Reprieve: People love their Toyotas and, it's somehow some people out there seem to love the Camry-wagon Venza. But rather than make a more aggressive, larger Camry, why not make a lighter and sleeker version? What a statement that would make.

Car: Mitsubishi Galant
Suggested By: SubcompactCulture
Why It's On Death Row: We once enjoyed the Galant, especially in VR-4 trim, a delightfully buzzy and sporty sedan to counteract less enticing alternatives. The Galant does none of that now. It's not particularly fast, sporty, or attractive. The interior is awful and the options are laughable.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: The Mitsubishi PS platform is no longer competitive, especially underpinning a sedan. But hey, a new platform with a bit of the edge back and a Raillart version could go along way.

Car: Lexus ES
Suggested By: Cardesignmike
Why It's On Death Row: You may wonder what a successful car like the Lexus ES is doing on this list, but hear us out. Toyota's CEO has recently said the company has stopped making exciting cars and it's something he would like to change. Most of the Lexus lineup is as good or better than most of its competitors. The ES is merely a rebadged Camry put there to bring in buyers that wouldn't be able to afford a Lexus otherwise.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: Why not build something exciting, with value to bring more buyers into the lineup? Less AARP more RPM? The HS was a start and the next generation ES could end up more like the LF-Ch concept? It's probably too profitable to ever happen, but we can hope.

Car: Mitsubishi Raider
Suggested By: OldeEnglishD
Why It's On Death Row: Take a drink for every Mitsubishi Raider you've seen on the road. Congrats, you're still sober. Mitsubishi has never been the best choice for a small truck in the U.S. and the Raider, which shares its platform with Dodge, is no exception.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: Why not a Lancer-based El Camino sport truck? Just because Pontiac backed out doesn't mean you can't. You had the balls to build a sporty wagon, show us up again and build a sport truck!

Car: Chevy Aveo
Suggested By: FlyingStitch
Why It's On Death Row: When Americans looked for small cars as gas prices rose America stepped up with what it had: a Korean car. It's small, crappy, and there are bigger cars that return better mileage. It's the best argument Chevy has for being used.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: We're not sure there are a lot of people waiting for the next-generation Aveo, but GM seems to have a few ideas for a small compact car. We sort of doubt it'll carry the same name.

Car: Maybach 57 and 62
Suggested By: Tonyola
Why It's On Death Row: This is a car we'd typically like but the Maybach is maybe the most expensive parts-binner ever. The 57 and 62 is just old Mercedes with lots of hype. It was cool for about two minutes and then everyone realized how much Bentley they could have for the money and moved on. It costs more than $358K to get into the door and the price jumps by leaps and bounds for all the status symbols you're going to want with it (goatcheese dispenser, anyone?). It's also very dated in terms of styling. Give us a BRABUS S-Class over this any day.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: If you're going to continue to charge insane rates upgrade the appearance, up the power so it'll go 200 MPH and get Jay Z to buy one.

Car: Chrysler Sebring
Suggested By: Everyone
Why It's On Death Row: The American car you'd swear was built in China. It's as if Chrysler had some sort of Major League strategy to destroy the company and move it to Italy and they needed a truly bad car to cause them to go bankrupt. There's nothing we like about it. There are no redeeming qualities in how it drives, looks, sounds, feels, or sells.
How It Could Get A Reprieve: No reprieve. No mercy. The best we can offer is a quick death. Which is better than the pain Chrysler caused us in bringing this horseshit abortion of a mid-size sedan to market.

Click next to see our ten favorite international drives from the list, in no particular order. For the rest of the Drives of a Lifetime check out the full National Geographic list.

Photo Credit: Kloppster

Country: Italy
Where: Amalfi Coast
Why: Beautiful coastline, towering bluffs, and bella donnas make this one of the best drives along the Mediterranean.

Photo Credit: artemanuele

Country: Canada
Where: Cabot Trail, Nova Scotia
Why: This 185-mile loop around part of the island shows off a verdant, unmarred coast filled with wildlife and blessed with cool climate year-round.

Photo Credit: Jim Dollar

Country: England
Where: The Cornwall Coast
Why: Celtic ruins, narrow roads, crashing waves, and the odd Cornish beauty conspire to make this one of the best drives in Western Europe.

Photo Credit: Cosygreeneyes

Country: Netherlands
Where: Bollenstreek Route
Why: The Bollenstreek Route, a.k.a. The Flower Route, gets its name from the miles of road cutting a path through acres and acres of tulip fields. Explosions of color fill the eye, making this a perfect spring journey.

Photo Credit:

Country: Canada
Where: Manitoba Prairies
Why: Not for the agoraphobic, this seemingly endless expanse of farmland and prairie opens the mind and evokes the spirit of life before the Internet.

Photo Credit: GarySimmons

Country: United States
Where: Hana Highway, Hawaii
Why: Gorgeous black-sand beaches, tropical greenery, and water everywhere — this is why people cross thousands of miles of empty Pacific to visit a spec of volcanic rock. Nearly 600 curves and 59 bridges don't hurt either.

Photo Credit:

Country: France
Where: Provence
Why: Ever dream of crossing a quiet countryside in a Citroen SM, then pulling into a little bistro for a glass of the local vintner's craft in the company of a stunning brunette mademoiselle? You were picturing Provence.

Photo Credit: Doozzle

Country: Jamaica
Where: The Pirate Route (Port Royal to Kingston)
Why: The island nation is small enough to cross in a day, and in crossing it you'll see beautiful coastline, small hillside villages, and the City of Kingston.

Photo Credit: Teepi

Country: New Zealand
Where: Lord of the Rings Route, North Island
Why: Whether you're a fan of the movie trilogy or not, New Zealand feels like Middle Earth. And to quote Flight Of The Conchords: "New Zealand: Rocks!!!"

Photo Credit: Man's Pic

Country: Canada
Where: Montreal, Area Loop Drive
Why: They can't all be coastlines, can they? From the urban heart of Montreal outwards toward wine country, this is a varied drive so wonderful Alfa Romeo named a car after it.

Photo Credit: Vox Photo

Check out the pace cars that got the checkered flag by clicking next.

Vehicle: 1989 Turbo Pontiac Trans Am
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: JoshRogan and others
Why It's Awesome: To quote srbiff: "You bet your ass! This was the best of the Grand National presented in an aerodynamic body with no speed limiter. Sure, it wasn't a V-8 Trans Am, but it would completely destroy any of those on the track or strip. Fantastic car. Another must have. Dammit, I'm now up to 3 must haves."

Vehicle: 1957 Mercury Turnpike Cruiser
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: PDQ2
Why It's Awesome: The Turnpike Cruiser is one of the nicest Mercury two-doors ever and the pace car convertible is the nicest of the turnpikes. As the top-o-the-line Merc it came standard with a peppy little 368 V8 and glittery yellow trim.

Vehicle: Lamborghini Marzal
Racing Series: F1 (Monaco GP)
Suggested By: Mr_Sives_Remotoc
Why It's Awesome: Though purely a concept car, this Bertone-penned Lambo was a four-seater with ginormous gullwing doors. The car was never built, but one look at an Espada demonstrates that the design did not go to waste. Also, it was driven around the Monaco GP by Princess Grace and her husband. Double win!

Vehicle: Dodge Viper
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: McLawdog
Why It's Awesome: The public debut of the production Viper occurred at Indy, Westminster Kennel Club of pace cars. The raucous V10-powered car was inspired by the original Shelby cars and was, appropriately, driven by none other than Carroll Shelby himself. It lacks much in the way of adornments because it wasn't supposed to be the Indy 500 pace car...

Vehicle: Dodge Stealth Indy 500 Pace Car
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: Mr. Dude
Why It's Awesome: Oh yes, why did the Viper become the Indy 500 pace car? Originally, the Dodge Stealth was slated to do pacing duties. Why didn't it happen? A bunch of nutty nationalists put the kibosh on the idea of a Japanese-built Indy 500 car. The good old days.

Vehicle: VW Constellation Pace Truck
Racing Series: Brazilian Truck Racing
Suggested By: FTGDMissesTheCruise
Why It's Awesome: As if the Brazilian Truck Racing series wasn't awesome enough, the mean-looking VW Constellation works because it's one of (if not the) biggest safety/pace trucks of all time.

Vehicle: Studebaker Lark Pace Car
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: Van Sarockin
Why It's Awesome: What the heck is a Studebaker Lark doing as the pace car of one of the fastest races in 'Merica? Well, initially the Stude-ly compact was not the intended choice. The much faster Avanti was to set the pace but wasn't finished in time. Thus was born one of the stranger Indy 500 pace cars in recent memory.

Vehicle: AMX Turbo PPG Pace Car
Racing Series: PPG Indy Car World Series
Suggested By: Maymar
Why It's Awesome: The AMX Turbo pace car was thrown together with a turbocharged and fuel-injected inline-six putting out 450 HP. It was a fitting end to the unique and wonderful, if still ungainly and unloved, AMX.

Photo Credit: Automotive Traveler

Vehicle: Lamborghini Countach Pace Car
Racing Series: F1 (Monaco GP)
Suggested By: Qutaiba_Elleel
Why It's Awesome: It's a Lamborghini Countach, one of the sleekest vehicles of the 1980s. Throw on the least aerodynamic lightbar ever and it's a jewel.

Vehicle: The Tumbler
Racing Series: NASCAR
Suggested By: Gwai.Lo
Why It's Awesome: It's the Batmobile pacing a race. What more do you need to know? Though this was purely for a first lap as "honorary" pace car, the Batman Begins 400 is still the strangest looking pace car of all time. Plus, when things get a bit boring, the Tumbler can always launch a few rockets into pit lane.

Vehicle: Chevy XT-2
Racing Series: PPG Indy Car World Series
Suggested By: Us
Why It's Awesome: This was a front-engined, RWD camino-style truck built on the F-body platform with a Corvette suspension and the 4.5-liter V6 good for 360 HP and 315 lb-ft of twist. Not bad. It also featured the tuned port injection feature, which provided more power and efficiency than a carburated engine. Most importantly, it looked awesome. Sort of a futuristic cab-forwardesque ute type vehicle with awful 90s purple paint, flying buttresses and a lightbar embedded into the edge of the roof.

Vehicle: 1972 Hurst/Olds Cutlass
Racing Series: Indy 500
Suggested By: Marauder Fan
Why It's Awesome: When GM decided to nix any engines bigger than 400 cubic inches in any of its intermediate-sized vehicles, Hurst stepped in and started dropping 455 Tornado engines into Oldsmobiles. In 1972, after a tragic pace car accident in the previous year, none of the major manufacturers wanted to offer up a car. Once again, Hurst stepped in, and the 72 Hurst/Olds Cutlass "executive hot rod" was the perfect choice and the only Indy 500 vehicle not sponsored by an automobile manufacturer.

Photo Credit: Corvair_Owner

Most of these, not surprisingly, come from basketball and soccer players. If you have any great/awful athlete car poses please drop them in the comments below.

Athlete: Andre Agassi
Car: Porsche 911
Why It's Embarrassing: At some point Agassi was convinced to pose with his cars and girlfriend. The Vector from the other post is fairly ridiculous, but there's something about him sitting parade marshal-style in the Porsche that make us giggle.
Photo Credit: John Russell/Getty Images

Athlete: Shaq
Car: Rolls Royce Phantom
Why It's Embarrassing: Because Shaq doesn't take himself too seriously and has apparently never turned down a photo request, we could probably make an entire list out of Shaq poses. We didn't include this one or this one. Technically, he looks ridiculous, but we love him for it.

Athlete: Vernon Wells
Car: Honda Legend (JDM)
Why It's Embarrassing: Unfortunately, you probably can't take that novelty key with you because that Honda/Acura isn't coming with you. Fortunately, you look like you're completely bummed about getting a Honda anyways.
Photo Credit: Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images

Athlete: Dirk Nowitzki
Car: Silver Comet
Why It's Embarrassing: Dirk Nowitzki is giant. Seriously, he could eat the Silver Comet. What do both of these things have in common? Both fall apart in the big game.
Photo Credit: DANIEL KARMANN/AFP/Getty Images

Athlete: Marcelinho
Car: Volkswagen Touareg
Why It's Embarrassing: If you listen really closely you can hear the ocean.
Photo Credit: RONNY HARTMANN/AFP/Getty Images

Athlete: Spud Webb
Car: Kia Borrego
Why It's Embarrassing: Why did Kia choose Spud to hang around when they announced their sponsorship of the NBA? Because they needed an NBA player small enough to make a Kia look big and Muggsy Bogues is retired.
Photo Credit: Bryan Mitchell/Getty Images

Athlete: Kobe Bryant
Car: Rolls Royce Corniche Convertible
Why It's Embarrassing:Although he wasn't asked, Kobe repeatedly insisted he could win the title without Minnie.
Photo Credit: PHILIPPE LOPEZ/AFP/Getty Images

Athlete: Wayne Rooney
Car: Toyota Prius
Why It's Embarrassing: It's Wayne Rooney. The man is ridiculous
Photo Credit: KAZUHIRO NOGI/AFP/Getty Images

Athlete: Magic Johnson
Car: Ford Escape Hybrid
Why It's Embarrassing: Magic Johnson, failed late night host and inarticulate commentator, explains how hybrids work and thereby makes himself look sillier than a felt frog with a man's hand up his butt.
Photo Credit: Tim Boyle/Getty Images

Athlete: Evander Holyfield
Car: Buick Riviera Concept
Why It's Embarrassing: Careful, Evander. That door could come down and take a chunk out of your ear.

Athlete: Tiger Woods
Car: Buick Enclave
Why It's Embarrassing: Buick paid Tiger Woods untold millions to be the brand's spokesman, but even with all that money he can't pretend to be excited about the awkward-looking Enclave.

Athlete: Shaq
Car: Lincoln Town Car Cartier L
Why It's Embarrassing: See the carpet on the ground? This is how Shaq gets around his living room.
Photo Credit: JOHN T. BARR/AFP/Getty Images

Some of these cars lasted only a few years before reaching their demise while others lasted as long as a decade, selling only a few models each year. Despite their lack of sales these cars still have numerous admirers. Click next to run through the list of these successful failures.

Renault Alpine GTA
Model Run: 1984 - 1990
Selected By: Bangernomics
Reason: Lighter and quicker than a Porsche 944 with a modern design and significant use of fiberglass and polyester plastics, the Renault Alpine GTA was a true sports car. Unfortunately, the rear-engined coupe could never overcome its high price and lack of interest in the Alpine brand outside of France.

Photo Credit: AutoHistory.blog.hu

Infinit M45
Model Run: 2003 - 2005
Estimated Sales: Less Than 600 A Month
Selected By: Burgesslshan
Reason: The Infiniti M45 was meant to hold the line for the company before it rolled out a series of larger, more powerful vehicles. Based on the Japanese Nissan Gloria, the sedan was actually more appealing than the larger Q45 and featured the same large 4.5-liter V8. Most complained of the styling, so it was a slow seller. We think it looks great and has aged much better than the Q.

Alfa Romeo 164
Model Run: 1989 - 1995
Estimated Sales: Less Than 6,000 Cars A Year
Selected By: Van_Sarockin
Reason: The Alfa Romeo 164 still remains a remarkably attractive sedan, penned by Pininfarina following the Ferrari Testarossa. It's just so Italian and, despite its FWD layout, quick and fun to drive. As with many great cars on this list, the high price made it hard to swallow at a time when the Japanese and Americans were offering similar vehicles at much lower cost — though not quite so striking.

Buick Reatta
Model Run: 1988 - 1991
Estimated Sales: 21,751
Selected By: Zacarious
Reason: The Reatta, though two decades old, is still one of the most fetching non-Chinese Buick products since the Eisenhower administration. It was a technological marvel, featuring a touchscreen computer and an early example of keyless entry. It was also hand built and features a high level of fit-and-finish. The price was high, as well, but this wasn't what killed it. Buick's sudden shift to an older audience meant performance concerns were thrown out the window, which robbed a great platform of a promising future. Because of this, sales were low. Still, it's a great-though-imperfect vehicle.

Merkur Scorpio/XR4Ti
Model Run: 1985 - 1989
Selected By: Paul-Michael Van
Reason: People are constantly complaining about not getting Ford Europe products. Unfortunately, the Merkur Scorpio and the XR4Ti were as close as America got for a good long while. Though the Scorpio wasn't overwhelmingly powerful, the it performed well for its day and offered a large hatch, European style and other great features. The XR4Ti was a much better performer, but was still part of a funky German brand no one understood.

NSU ro80
Model Run: 1967 - 1977
Estimated Sales: 37,204 (over ten years)
Selected By: Zacarious
Reason: "Rotary engine, cab forward design, 4 wheel disc brakes, semi-automatic transmission, independent suspension all in a 1967 sedan ... they should have sold millions." If only rotary engines didn't scare everyone.

Volkswagen Phaeton
Model Run: 2004 - 2006
Estimated Sales: Less Than 3,000 In The U.S.
Selected By: Jagvar
Reason: We've spilled a lot of electronic ink on the greatness of the Phaeton. It's subtle, Teutonic aesthetic and incredible performance outweigh even the price to maintain. It does answer the question: Would someone pay Audi prices for a Bentley disguised as a Volkswagen? Not in this country.

Fourth Generation Pontiac GTO
Model Run: 2004 - 2006
Estimated Sales: 40,808
Selected By: danio3834
Reason: "This was the car that enthusiasts demanded GM build for years, and when they finally brought them over, few followed through with their promise to purchase. Blame it on a bland exterior or poor marketing, but for those who knew and later found out, the last GTO was a near perfect car. It was a car everyone said they wanted, but couldnt buy."

Volkswagen Corrado
Model Run: 1988 - 1996
Estimated Sales: 97,000 worldwide (lower in the U.S.)
Selected By: Us
Reason: The Volkswagen Corrado and its many iterations was one car we truly liked the general buying public didn't. Sure there's a big following, but people were not willing to fork over the cash for the platform. In various trims the Corrado could be had as an attractive hatch all the way up to the powerful-for-the-time 180 HP VR6 trim. It was quicker than a Porsche 944, handled better than your average FWD vehicle, and looked incredibly German. It was quirky, fun, had a hatch and was therefore mostly unloved enough to get canned. it did so poorly they'll probably never bring the Scirocco over here.

Tucker Sedan
Model Run: 1948
Estimated Sales: 37
Selected By: F1Morgan
Reason: The Tucker Sedan, with its exceptionally forward-thinking safety equipment and sporty design, was so good the not-so-Big Three sabotaged the company's efforts. Even if they hadn't, there was so much bad luck and bad press in the creation of the car that the car was Dead on Arrival. Had you purchased one of the few operational cars you'd now be sitting on a vehicle worth almost a $1 million.

Deuce-And-A-Half
Capable of towing over 7,000 pounds while simultaneously transporting a dozen NATO troops, the M35 "deuce-and-a-half" is one mean machine. There are numerous varieties of this vehicle, but they typically include a small cab, large covered bed and some form of turbocharged multi-fuel engine. And by multi-fuel we mean you can put just about anything in the tank and it'll run, including but not limited to: diesel, gasoline, kerosene, jet fuel and vodka.
Photo Credit: B&B

Sherman Tank
The most successful American tank of WWII, the M4 Sherman was a powerful, quick, and reliable military machine capable of going toe-to-toe with most German armaments. Fitted with a variety of guns and engines, the M4 wasn't always the best tank, but the ability to produce and field them cheaply and quickly was good enough to overwhelm the enemy. USA! USA! USA!
Photo Credit: FourFold

DPV Fast Attack Vehicle
Like it sounds, the DPV Fast Attack Vehicle is capable of speeds over 80 MPH on desert terrain, launching a grenade, and traveling over 1,000 miles. Powered by a 200 HP VW engine, the vehicles have found use primarily by special forces and were a major part of the Desert Storm operations.

Bradley Fighting Vehicle
The M2 Bradley is a fast armored fighting vehicle quick enough to keep up with the M1 Abrams tank and, equipped with a 25 mm chain gun and a pair of TOW missiles, surprisingly deadly given its smaller armaments. The platform is so capable and easy-to-produce it's been modified into an amphibious vehicle, fire support vehicle, and air defense vehicle.
Photo Credit: LIU JIN/AFP/Getty Images

HUMVEE
Despite being developed in the late 1970s, the Humvee is the go-to vehicle for nearly every job the military has. Humvee is short for HMMWV which stands for high-mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle. With four-wheel drive, disc brakes, and an independent suspension the Hummer is worlds better than the Jeep. More than any other vehicle, it's the mechanical representation of the modern U.S. military. Photo Credit: OCINE ZAOURAR/AFP/Getty Images

Willys MB Jeep
With WWII around the corner, and the U.S. lacking anything better than a Model T or a bunch of horses, a vehicle was needed for European warfare. There were three versions of the original Jeep produced by different companies, but the Willys MB variant would prove to be the most enduring. The distinctive slotted-steel grille with embedded headlights is a design still used on Jeeps today.

M1 Abrams
Powered by a 1,500 HP gas-turbine engine and pure superiority, the M1 Abrams is more than 60 tons of badass rolling up to 45 MPH through wherever it wants. Equipped with composite armor and a 120 mm gun that can fire multiple times while in motion, the Abrams is a fearsome weapon in any theater.
Photo Credit: LIU JIN/AFP/Getty Images

DUKW
Though relegated primarily to tourist boat duty, the DUKW or "duck," amphibious six-wheel truck was part GMC truck and part yacht, capable of speeds up to 55 MPH on land and 7 MPH in the water. The story of its commissioning involves being considered too risky for military service before saving a group of stranded Coast Guardsman. Both because of its practicality and its strange look, we love the "truck that can swim."

Dodge M37 Power Wagon
The Dodge Power Wagon, a four-wheel drive 3/4-ton truck, is the basis for the modern four-wheel drive pickup. But before it found its way into the hearts of civilian truck owners, the Power Wagon was the marine truck of choice for most jobs during the Korean War. Whether carrying troops, wounded, or weapons, the M37 was a rock solid truck for Americans fighting on less-than-solid turf.

M60A1 Armored Vehicle Launched BridgeThe M60A1 armored vehicle launched bridge (ALVB) is exactly what it sounds like: a mobile, armored bridge. There's not always time to wait around for engineers to erect a crossing, so the AVLB carries on its back a 60-foot bridge strong enough and wide enough to support just about every land vehicle in the arsenal — including itself.

11.) Ford Iosis Concept

Odds Of Production: 1-to-1
Reason: Essentially the precursor to the next generation Ford Focus, like Yao Ming against Nikoloz Tskitishvili, this one's in the bag. While it may lose some of the more obvious concept car touches, like the full-roof glass and LED-lights, it'll almost certainly carry over the kinetic design-influenced profile.

10.) Rolls Royce 200EX

Odds Of Production: 4-to-1
Reason: Parent company BMW wants to take Rolls Royce to the next level by lowering the entry price. The concept version practically looks like a production car and, given the large 7-Series parts bin available to the company, we expect to see the production version before the next World Cup.

9.) Nissan Qazana Concept

Odds Of Production: 2 to 1
Reason: This Nissan crossover concept is supposed to preview the look of the next generation Micra and, possibly, a Micra-based crossover. The bulging physique may look unrealistic, but you have to remember this is the same company behind the Infiniti FX50.

8.) Infiniti Essence

Odds Of Production: 7-to-1
Reason: The hybrid powertrain and custom Louis Vuitton bags are a little silly, making us doubt production, but it's so stunningly beautiful they're going to have to build it anyways. Given the company's alphanumeric obsession the vehicle will not likely debut as the "essence" anytime soon, but we expect the "essence" of the vehicle to seep into the next generation of Infiniti products.

7.) Aston One-77

Odds Of Production: 7.7-to-1
Reason: While some of the finer points, including the hand-crafted aluminum shell, may not make it to the assembly line we think the One-77 is a good preview of the future Aston Martin Vantage. I wouldn't recommend betting against an Aston Martin coupe powered by a V12 mounted up front and painted a variation of green-sliver.

6.) Mitsubishi iMiEV

Odds Of Production: 14-to-1
Reason: While some version of the iMiEV Sport is likely to see production, we're guessing it ain't gonna be this one. If the solar panels weren't a dead giveway the Tron-tastic interior guaranteed this will live only on the stage.

5.) Koenigsegg Quant

Odds Of Production: 33-to-1
Reason: Koenigsegg is a company with a ridiculous name able to get people to buy their cars, which makes doubting them a risk. Still, a four-seat solar electric super car? While the Koenigsegg folks (yolks?) plan to have a working model sometime in the future, we're guessing sometime is so far away we Quant imagine it.

4.) Magna Steyr Mila EV

Odds Of Production: 62-to-1
Reason: If you live in Europe, or even in America, it's possible you've driven a car manufactured by Magna Steyr. But you haven't driven in one designed and branded by Magna Steyr. The Austrian firm is hoping one of the four surviving car companies decides to use their platform to build a new environmentally friendly car. Good luck with that.

3.) Rinspeed E2

Odds Of Production: 100-to-1
Reason: Rinspeed exists to tune Porsches and create exotic Geneva concepts. Despite its history we're actually going to give this Fiat 500 Abarth-based concept the highest odds ever for a Rinspeed Geneva concept: 100-to-1. Why? This concept is about the two-level, push-button power option, which allows users to switch power output based on need. It's a great idea and something we see an automaker using. We just don't see it coming out of the Rinspeed shop.

2.) Rinspeed iChange

Odds Of Production: 600-to-1
Reason: Here's the Rinspeed we know and love. The iChange transforms from a one-seater sports car into a three-seater with the help of, wait for it, a freaking iPhone! It's also got a top speed of 137 MPH and a 0-to-62 MPH time of around four seconds. At this point, it's about as likely as the Cubs winning the World Series this year.

1.) Giugiaro Frazer-Nash Namir

Odds Of Production: 99,999,000,000-to-1
Reason: This is the kind of bet you only take if you're about to die and the only way you can save yourself is to bet that last five dollars on the least likely horse. Let's start with the claims: it's the fastest hybrid ever with a 187 MPH top speed, 0-to-60 MPH in the three-second range, and a range above 1,200 miles. Neat. Does it also cure baldness?

As if it wasn't ridiculous enough it's named for a company that stopped producing cars in 1957. WINNER!

11.) Reporters Asking Us For Jobs

While working at Jalopnik may seem like a dream job, we're sometimes treated as a curiosity by print journalists who don't understand how the web works. Not this year. The sheer number of people asking, and the flood of resumes into Wert's inbox sort of harshed our buzz.

10.) The Lack Of A Firehouse

If you want to understand the sheer impact the Carpocalypse has had on the world, consider the fact the Firehouse bar is no more. For those unaware, the "Firehouse" was a real firehouse converted by Chrysler each year into a bar where they'd pay for free drinks and food for journalists. It was a fun afterparty. The kind of place you can have Dr. Z pour you a beer or Motor Trend Editor-in-Chief Angus McKenzie lecture you on the new media landscape for an hour. The Post's "Hacks n' Flacks" BYOB (Buy Your Own Beer) after-party, while fun, just wasn't quite the same.

9.) Swag And Press Releases

Any journalist worth his or her salt could walk out of an auto show with three or four-hundred USB flash drives and lots of toys. Back in the good ol' days of, you know, last year, automakers would pass out unnecessarily ornate press packs filled with USB drives on keychains and leather-bound press releases. This year they were back to pieces of paper and discs. The nicest USB drive we received was from BYD, which promptly corrupted the files we loaded on it (no joke).

8.) Cheap Floor Space

The lack of certain automakers meant companies like Revenge were no longer relegated to Michigan Hall in Cobo's basement. The reason this is so sad is it makes it seem like DUB cars are on the same level as the new offerings from Chrysler. Well... come to think of it.

7.) Chrysler

Chrysler President Jim Press used part of his press conference to explain why Chrysler would resurrect itself and how great a job the company has done in firing people. Seriously, they laid off like thousands of people. That makes them awesome how? But that's just Jim, the rest of the company was even worse. Like Cubs fans convinced this will be their year, Chrysler's need to convince everyone they have a future with cars like the 200C EV Concept is just depressing. This is especially true when you consider they didn't have the requisite cash to mount their logo without almost killing someone.

6.) GM's Fake Rally

GM built a fake card-carrying rally with employees around their reveal on Sunday morning of the Detroit Auto Show. You know it's bad when you look around and realize they couldn't even get enough employees together to make the rally look impressive.

5.) The Plight Of Male Booth Professionals

Since they had nothing to reveal, Lamborghini merely trotted out their typical team of hot booth professionals to pose in front of their cars. They held a press conference to do this and we, like others, took lots of photos. We felt awful for the male model as the sound of shutters clicking drastically declined when he walked on the platform. Sorry, guy who looks vaguely like a taller Mark Rufallo.

4.) Alcohol Consumption-to-New Product Ratio

There were a number of reveals this year, but not of new product. Most were concept cars of the pie-in-the-sky variety. The absence of new product on the show floor was made up for by automaker booze. Normally, we expect that type of thing in the after-hours, but this year that was cut back in favor of allowing cheaper offerings on the show floor in even greater quantities.

3.) Michigan Hall Basement Smell

Though it gave us a chance to drive the Ford Escape Plug-In Hybrid, the electric test track in the basement smelled awful. Was it the cars? No. Was it the Wayne State Formula SAE team? No. Actually, it was the mulch. The smell was so intolerable indoors, the VW booth above was forced to run their air conditioning to blow the smell out. That caused the air conditioning units to drip water into the basement, onto the track where it ran off into the mulch — thus causing the smell to become worse. By the end of the press preview, the Volkswagen booth was smelling like the inside of an abandoned Westfalia camper.

2.) Tuesday

Tuesday is usually a down day for the show, reserved for non-product press conferences and demonstrations. This year there was so little to report on we ended up in a two-way battle with dozens of auto reporters to get to the Tesla press conference and then again to get to Senator Bob Corker. Seriously, ou'd have thought Elon Musk and Corker were both Bono. Neither needs the added ego boost.

1.) Dead People

On the first night of the show we went out to a restaurant near Cobo to grab some food and do some work. We wandered out around 11 pm and noticed flashing police lights. We have to thank the jerk who said "Don't mind him, he's dead" and made us turn to see the lifeless body lying in the cold Detroit street because we'd have otherwise not noticed. We told the interns he was "sleeping" just to make sure they didn't go home with nightmares. Instead, we did.

Photo Credit: Bill Pugliano / Getty Images News

More Of Our Coverage Of The 2009 Detroit Auto Show!
• Booth Professionals Of The 2009 Detroit Auto Show
• Naked Jalopnik: The Meanest Thing We Did At The Detroit Auto Show
• The Top Ten Photo Galleries Of The 2009 Detroit Auto Show
• The Top Ten Concept Interiors Of The 2009 Detroit Auto Show
• The Top Ten 2009 Detroit Auto Show Cars We Most Want To Drive

10.) 2009 Kia Spectra

MSRP: $14,200
Crazy Incentive: $1,500 cash back in select areas
Pros: Five star crash rating, it comes in red to match the bow
Cons: Dinky cloth seats, fear of everything else on the road
How You Sell It: "This is the fifth nicest car Kia makes"

9.) 2008 Hyundai Elantra

MSRP: $13,970
Crazy Incentive: 0% financing or $1,000 cash back
Pros: It has four doors, America's best warranty, good mileage
Cons: It looks like a toy car
How You Sell It: "A Hyundai is practically a Honda, right? I mean, come on, both have an H on the front."

8.) 2008 Suzuki Reno

MSRP: $13,299
Crazy Incentive: 3.6% financing, $250 loyalty cash for qualified buyers
Pros: Good warranty, sharp-looking and a stereo with a cassette player!
Cons: A stereo with a cassette player, small, sounds like a city best known for the parody police show
How You Sell It: "You'll be the only one in the neighborhood with one of these."

7.) 2008 GEM E6

MSRP: $12,995
Crazy Incentive: $500/$1000 cash back
Pros: Seats six comfortably, uses no gas, different
Cons: Can only drive on streets with a 35 mph or less speed limit, 40-mile range, doors cost extra
How You Sell It: "Look Ma, I bought you a futuristic electric car."

6.) 2009 Chevy Aveo/Aveo5

MSRP: $12,625
Crazy Incentive: Red Tag MSRP $11,797
Pros: Your choice of sedan or hatch, it's an American car
Cons: It's an American car designed and built by Daewoo, small
How You Sell It: "You're partially supporting America with this car"

5.) 2009 Toyota Yaris

MSRP: $12,205
Crazy Incentive: $500 customer cash
Pros: 36 MPG highway fuel economy
Cons: Small enough to be flattened by a Corolla
How You Sell It: "Our love is as reliable as a Toyota!"

4.) 2009 Kia Rio

MSRP: $12,145
Crazy Incentive: 0.0%financing/$500 cash back
Pros: Standard Sirius AM/FM/CD/MP3 audio system, full-length airbags
Cons: Drum brakes, 14-inch steel wheels, plastic body trim
How You Sell It: "This car's name is Rio and it dances in the sand."

3.) 2008 Smart fortwo Pure Coupe

MSRP: $11,900
Crazy Incentive: $99 to reserve a spot
Pros: Fun European design, easy to park, trendy
Cons: A two-seater, no a/c, power steering or radio standard
How You Sell It: "It's European!"

2.) 2009 Nissan Versa 1.6S

MSRP: $9,990
Crazy Incentive: 0% financing
Pros: Roomy for its class, good mileage
Cons: No a/c, no radio, no anything even hinting at convenience
How You Sell It: "Don't worry about the mortgage, I didn't spend more than $10K on on this..."

1.) 2009 Hyundai Accent GS

MSRP: $9,970
Crazy Incentive: 0% financing or $1,000 cash back
Pros: It's the cheapest car in America, good mileage, four whole speakers
Cons: No a/c, no radio, automatic transmission a $2,100 premium
How You Sell It: "I just bought you a car, okay. Don't be ungrateful"

[Photo Credit: Yahoo! Autos, Manufacturers, Alex Wong / Getty Images]

10.) Ferrari 400i

The Ferrari 400-series cars are the best example of everything that's wrong with the Italian automaker's Malaise Era attempts at front-engined grand touring cars. Hidden below the stylish, though decidedly un-Ferrari, skin was the first automatic transmission offered in a production Ferrari. The base 400i featured a GM-sourced hydromatic three-speed transmission. Nothing like Italian power being routed through three speeds of American glory! Modern Ferrari tourers, like the 599 GTB FIorano have taken the bad taste out of our mouth, but opening the doors on an original 400i is like cutting through a crisp, buttery pie crust and finding tapioca pudding.

9.)Jaguar X-Type

If you're curious how Jaguar ended up being owned by an Indian company, look no further than the Jaguar X-Type. Designed to appeal to a wider audience than the typical Jag, thereby picking up significant market share, they hoped to sell 100,000 X-Types a year. That didn't happen. People saw through the distinctive Jaguar grille and headlights to the Ford Mondeo platform beneath. The FWD/AWD compact luxury car segment wasn't impressed by the lackluster performance, styling or luxury. Instead of saving the company, the X-Type became a moving example of Ford's mismanagement of the once premium brand. Cranberries out of the can do not an adequate side make.

8.)Datsun 280ZX Turbo

A classic Datsun 240Z, the original Z, is such a fine car that it's almost hard to remember that the 280ZX ever existed... until you see one. The 280ZX essentially takes the beauty of the Z and "modernizes" it to what was modern in the late 1970s. Those smooth lines become crisper (or at least crunchier), the unbroken hood gets oh-so-many ducts, and the once solid roof gets a pair of cheap-looking T-tops. Even better, emissions laws meant a successor that was less powerful than its predecessor until the later Turbo model. It's like when one of your relatives tries to spice up the green bean casserole by adding capers and endive. If you're going to change it, don't make it worse.

7.) Honda Insight

Though the 2010 Honda Insight hopes to win back fame for Honda's hybrid brand, the original Insight still sticks in our minds as a rare misfire for the brand. It wasn't a problem of foresight as, we were soon to learn, hybrids were the next big thing. It wasn't engineering as the Hondas achieved incredible mileage and tend to hold up fairly well. It wasn't even price, though the $20,000 price was a high premium for the two-seater. The Insight's main fault was that it assumed the market for hybrids would be urban and require something that looks radically different and suits only two adults individuals. The original Prius didn't look much different from most compact cars and easily carried as many adults as a Toyota Corolla. Like the first person to offer tofu for Thanksgiving dinner, the Insight was a pioneer. But with the Tofurkey and Prius, it took someone willing to shape it more conventionally to build a proper demand.

6.) "Slant Nose" Porsche

There's nothing hotter than a "slant nose" Porsche 935 racer, yet there's also nothing lamer than a custom- or factory-built Porsche slant nose. Meant to mimic the racer, the slant-nosed Porsches somehow manage to transform the aerodynamic look of the competition cars into an image of a sleazy stock broker rocking the Don Johnson white jacket and pastel fitted t-shirt. Originally offered only by customer companies, Porsche rode the wave in the mid-to-late 1980s by selling a slant nose version for basically every rear-engine car for sale. Despite the factory blessing even the OEM slant noses looked as fake as easy cheese on apple pie. [Photo: PCA.org]

5.) Chevrolet SSR

The retro-styled, hard-top convertible Chevrolet SSR was GM's answer to the retro-styled Plymouth Prowler though, perplexingly, it was designed as a truck. At over $40,000 a piece, the sport pickup wasn't exactly a bargain considering its Chevy TrailBlazer-based platform meant it wasn't quite sporty enough to be a sports car and its small bed large fender flares meant it wasn't quite useful enough to be a pickup. It also wasn't particularly fast. The SSR was simply as ill-timed and ill-designed as a Thanksgiving Day dessert of Easter-egg shaped candy canes.

4.) Volvo 262C Bertone Coupe

Designed to be the Swedish answer to the Lincoln Mark IV, the two-door Volvo 262 C Bertone Coupe instead ended up as an expensive European oddity appreciated more for its strangeness than anything else. Based on the basic 262GL platform, the Volvos were shipped off to Bertone's factory in Turin for the addition of custom body panels, vinyl roof and leather interior. Rather than sporting a special engine, the Volvos carried the same V6 the company shared with Peugeot-Renault. Substituting a 262C for a true European coupe is much akin to showing up with Becherovka when you were asked to bring a bottle of wine. It's unique and memorable though you wouldn't go so far as to describe it as pleasurable. [Photo/Source: Hemmings]

3.) Chrysler Crossfire

The Chrysler Crossfire has the novelty of being one of the few cars so unloved it was sold en masse on Overstock.com. The successor to the Plymouth Prowler, a car that was more quail than turkey, the Crossfire is the only true progeny of the Mercedes-Chrysler marriage. German engineering and American design, what could go wrong? The coupe, and eventually the roadster, were built on a borrowed SLK platform but wrapped in an uninspiring body. The mix of old mechanicals, bland styling and a high price tag made the Crossfire the unofficial pace car for the DaimlerChrysler merger's race to dissolution. Like turkey stuffed with spaetzel, the Crossfire was only good on paper.

2.) BMW Z1

The BMZ Z1 was a car of the future that became part of the past before it went on sale. When it debuted at the 1987 Frankfurt Motor Show the Z1 received a lot of positive attention and it was set for a production launch in early 1989. Unfortunately, the time that passed between the concept and final car was not good to the design. The strange doors, which dropped into the car, were neat as a concept but strange in a production car. The drivetrain, consisting of a Getrag five-speed matched to the 170 HP inline-6, also didn't provide the zip to match the unique design. The Z stands for Zukunft, the German word for future, and the Z1 holds a special place as vehicle that eventually led to the far more successful Z3 Roadster/Coupe, Z4 and Z8. Like that first Thanksgiving dinner, not everything went right with the original Z but it laid the ground for a future that would be gobble gobbled up.

1.) Chrysler TC by Maserati

Then Chrysler Chairman Lee Iacocca gets a lot of credit for his role in the creation of the modern minivan, which is why history has been kind enough to forget the Chrysler TC by Maserati. Before Chrysler learned that mixing with the Germans wouldn't work they tried to shake some dollars out of a pairing with another Axis power, with similarly disastrous results. Though the 1989 TC came equipped with a powerful turbocharged version of the 2.2-liter Chrysler engine, few could get past the weird combination of Opera windows and a LeBaron-esque profile on what was a $33,000 car. Aunt Sally may claim that the "special" $12 jar of organic mayo in her spinach dip is worth the price, but like the TC, no one buys it.

10. Public Art
Now that Democrats have taken over Congress and Jesse Helms is dead, nothing stands in the way of getting some sweet, sweet National Endowment of the Arts grant money. When putting together your application, make sure to mention how you'll be involving the desecration of some sort of religious artifact or symbol; the grant people at the NEA love that.

9. Holder Of Contraband
Doesn't it suck when the ATF, DEA or other governmental agency impinges on your right to stock ammo in preparation for the imminent Canadian invasion? It's not safe to keep automatic weapons in your home these days, so why not fill your old SUV full of things you'd rather didn't get found. All that storage is perfect for Japanese elder pr0n, guns, ammo, African monkeys and maybe even a Cuban cigar...or Cuban child.

8. Recording Studio
Given all of the sound-deadening material they stuff into the average SUV, it can be a serene, quiet place. And with 600 power outlets, ample space and cupholders, you've got the perfect location to cut your demo tape. Tina Weymouth approves.

7. Illicit Sex Pad
You know what blows? When your wife, or a British Tabloid, catches you in the throes of passion with one or more Nazi-imitating hookers. Why not throw your SUV up on blocks, put on some Lovage and put out the red light in the roomy back row of an SUV? If this Durango's a'rockin...

6. Newspaper Stand
Parking an SUV can be quite the chore, especially in urban areas. Why not make a little extra money out of the deal? Though not exactly a million-dollar idea, people love the printed word despite the obvious superiority of blogs (read Jalopnik). Nail on a roof, open up the hatch and see if you can't sell out of Vibe. I heard there's a great interview with Cory Booker in this month's Esquire; let's check out the old Suburban News Stand.

5. Trebuchet Projectile
Instead of a gasoline engine, try a siege engine. And what's a better siege engine than the old fashioned Trebuchet? When the next generation of crusades start over oil, we can use them against the infidels, or Lithuanians...whomever, really. Fill up the tank with some sort of fuel and watch it blow!

4. Backstop
What's more American than baseball? The major manufacturers will have you believe trucks are, so in that spirit why not combine the two? It's not always easy to find a fence or a wall so plant a G-wagen behind the plate. It'll be extra fun when a wild pitch knocks out a window or dents a panel and you get to steal third as the catcher picks glass out of his or her eye.

3. Refugee Camp
According to the UN, there are approximately 32.9 million people classifiable as "refugees." Whether because of famine wrought partially by the global weather patterns tied to our industry or because of the wars needed for fuel to power our SUV's, these people don't have homes. We're not sure if it's a write-off, but wouldn't you feel better about someone without a home living in that Excursion instead of in an asbestos-ridden FEMA trailer?

2. Artificial Reef
Growing up, we were shocked to learn that old Christmas trees were recycled into artificial reef barriers. That's thinking green. Imagine how great it would be to recycle that old evergreen SUV by dropping it onto a shoreline that needs protecting? You were probably going to dump it in the ocean for the insurance money anyway, right?

1. Target Practice
Most people's SUVs are probably sitting in the driveway, their owners staring angrily at them as they collect dust. If you're going to despise it anyway, why not use that energy constructively by blowing the crap out of it? Explosives, projectiles or just a baseball bat will do. It's cheaper than therapy and we like to think it's more cathartic too.

Oh sure, you could donate your SUV to the Purple Heart, but where's the fun in that?