Nobody seem to know what to do with Lincoln, which is just getting over its amazingly dull Superbowl ad failure. What if they merged with another totally-screwed carmaker, Fisker?

We get pretty harsh on Lincoln (Lincoln Motor Company, forgive me) these days because of their laughable ad campaigns and insipid product range of late. But in the 1930s they were remarkably good, and the 1939 Zephyr represents just how good things got.

Forget all about Jimmy Fallon and that puddle of beige goo Lincoln has been calling cars of late. Let's go back to a time when Lincoln meant class. It meant style. It meant "personal luxury" and all of the loud polyester tie, wide lapel wearing glory that entails.

Ford's sales were up 11 percent in February compared to last year. The Escape set a new sales record after 24,000 were moved. Lincoln's sales were down 29 percent. What, people didn't buy into the Jimmy Fallon Twitter thing?

The #Kony2012 hastag was huge last year thanks to a viral campaign to bring notorious African warlord and child army leader Joseph Kony to justice. But if you search that on Twitter now, you just get a bunch of joke tweets. And a promoted post from the Lincoln Motor Company. Wait, what?

Here's what I learned about the Lincoln Town Car.

See, Lincoln? You don't need bullshit social media gimmicks and an un-funny late night host to do a good ad. You guys did just fine on your own with this one.

A little while back, Lincoln relaunched itself by adding the words "Motor Company" to its name, sending people out for test drives that include a free dinner, and getting Jimmy Fallon to make a Twitter-sourced Super Bowl ad that was guaranteed to make the brand about 34 percent hipper.

The other day Raphael showed me this old ad for a Lincoln Continental Mark III. It was right after he wrote the article about the lovely and occasionally naked rally driver, Inessa Tushkanova. He was still overcome by all the humid eroticism of all those pictures of her, and felt that a post about what must be…

When Mercedes brought out its not-too-big SUV/Crossover, people went apeshit for it. Here's the Lincoln MKC, the brand's attempt to catch the same market.