What can we say? I was going to use it for a Project Car Hell contestant, but what could possibly compete with a 1980 Cadillac Seville limo for this kind of price? Not only that, the seller claims "HELL YES IT DID RUN WHEN PARKED!!!! Rats chewed some of the wires." How hard could it be? And not only do you get the reviled much-sought-after "bustle-back" trunk, you get genuine CIA provenance!
[Craigslist Inland Empire, go here if the listing disappears]

Yesterday 56% of you befriended the little Ami from France in one of the closer NPOCP contests of late. Despite having room for four, that diminutive Citroën represented the nadir end of the car-size spectrum. Fully occupying two seats at the top of that span is today's contender- an '87 Jeep Wagoneer Limo.

Now we've seen limos here recently, as well as odd-ball extended wheelbase vehicles, but this jumbo Jeep combines two of our favorite things- wood-paneled Jeep Wagoneers, and. . . more Jeep Wagoneer! You never can get enough of a good thing, and with the CMAs coming up next month - and the hope that a certain restraining order will be lifted - it's important to weigh one's options. Rolling up in this would more than make up for arriving one year in a Hello Kitty Prius with a back-window sticker of Calvin peeing on the confederate flag-draped body of Johnny Cash. Not that that ever happened, we're just saying. And that alone is worth the $24,900 asking price.

Like a mullet, this Wagoneer is all business up front, and a party in the back, but it's done tastefully and, judging by the pictures, it looks pretty solid. These bad boys are ladder framed, making the extension pretty easy, and while it may no longer be able to complete the Rubicon, at least there's a bar in the back for when you get stuck.

Despite the added length, and the kind of cheesy aftermarket rims, this Grand Wagoneer remains respectable in its appearance. The blue paint is subdued and they have kept the walnut-grain siding intact. In fact, it looks like an entire forest of polyvinyl trees was felled for the cladding, making it look like the biggest log you've seen since that unfortunate discovery following burrito night at the frat, back in the day.

The 360-cid AMC V8 is bullet-proof and pops out an adequate 160 1987-era horses, plus enough torque to keep its quadra-trac spinning just in case you and your entourage need to take the back-way to the awards show you're crashing. Befitting its position as Jeep's standard barer at the time, the Grand Wagoneer has power-everything and enough bells and whistles to keep your chauffeur busy while you're inside getting Kanye on the event, and giggling about Mac McAnally's name. The generous door openings will mean no one gets left behind during your hasty escape

So, if you need to make a statement while arriving at the red carpet, or if that red carpet happens to be out in the boonies, this Jeep might be just the ticket. But what about the cost? Does $24,900 make this stretch 4 by 4 an award-winner? Or, does that price knock it out of contention?

You decide!

Hemmings Classifieds or go here if the ad disappears. Hat tip to blogenfreude!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

Some of my oversights were really obvious head-clutchers (e.g., Trabant, Saab 96, De Tomaso Pantera), while others required making all sorts of crypto-arbitrary judgment calls. In order to prevent the flood of hate mails I got from Land Rover, Jeep, and Toyota FJ freaks with Part I, we're going to make one seemingly obvious point even more obvious:
NO TRUCKS! NO TRUCKS! CARS ONLY!
Got it? And, once again, we're denying the Ford Fox and Panther platforms and the Volvo 140/240 entrance to this list. That doesn't mean we don't love those cars (in fact, I've owned at least one of each), but each underwent a major chassis redesign before it hit the magical 20-year mark. I'm still not convinced that the C2 and C3 Corvettes are the same car, and Ford's nostalgic reissue of a handful of ceremonial Model Ts doesn't add another year of production to the T's scorecard. Feel free to debate the merits of these decisions in your comments, but try to keep the venom level at or below rattlesnake level. OK, here we go, in order of years of seniority:

Morgan 4/4
54 years (1955-present)
When Morgan redesigned the suspension for the 4/4 Series II in 1955, they figured there wouldn't be much need to change anything after that. Engine suppliers come and go, so they've had to change powerplants every so often (the current 4/4 comes with a Ford Duratec four), but otherwise the Morgan remains pretty much the same wood-framed machine our grandparents knew and loved.
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Lotus / Caterham Seven
52 years (1957-present)
You don't see Sevens on the street very often, since the racetrack is this car's natural habitat, but they are road-legal motor vehicles and thus qualify for this series. Lotus built the Seven until 1972, and Caterham (and about 500 million others) have kept the production lines going since then.
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Hongqi CA770
40 years (1958-1998)
Even the Great Helmsman himself needed a car, for those occasions when he had to inspect the progress of the Great Leap Forward, and there was no way that the People's Republic Of China was going to let the running dogs of imperialism outdo them when it came to classy luxury rides for important government officials. Thus was the Hongqi CA770 limousine born. It appears to have ZIS ancestry, but the Bamboo Curtain keeps such sensitive state secrets from our hands.
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Nissan President 150/250
24 years (1965-1989)
Until replaced by a stretched version of the car we know as the Infiniti Q45, Nissan's luxury flagship was the mighty President. The styling appears to have hints of Mercedes-Benz W123 and Plymouth Volaré, and power came courtesy of the President-only Nissan Y OHV V8.
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Trabant
34 years (1957-1991)
There's not much to say about the most famous Warsaw Pact vehicle of all: two pistons, two strokes, plastic body, and more than three million made. Primitive by any standard, but it put East Germany on wheels!
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Bristol Type 603
33 years (1976-present)
The case could be made that the 603 was really just a warmed-over version of the 1946 Bristol line, but we're setting the 1976 body redesign as the cutoff. You could get a 603 with a Chrysler 318 or 360, and some even came with factory turbocharging!
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Lada Niva
32 years (1979-present)
I dismissed the Lada Niva for its truckishness the first time around, but Unicmanest has convinced me that it's no more a truck than was the AMC Eagle or Subaru Outback. And no, there's no possible way to convince me that the Land Rover was really a car.
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Toyota Century
30 years (1967-1997)
The first generation of the Toyota Century limo, which was based on the Crown luxury car, stayed pretty much the same for 30 years. Why tinker with a successful formula? The "Toyota Hemi" V series V8 powered this perennial zaibatsu favorite.
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Lotus Esprit
28 years (1976-2004)
This was a really tough one, but I'm going to say that the endless series of minor mutations in the Esprit kept it essentially the same car for its run.
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Shanghai SC760
27 years (1964-1991)
It's tough to get good information about Chinese cars designed before Nixon's 1972 trip, but it appears that the Shanghai SC760 was an all-Chinese design and remained virtually unchanged throughout its production run.
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Studebaker Avanti / Avanti II
25 years (1962-1987)
I wanted to stay away from the slippery slope of replica cars, if only to avoid the nightmare of dealing with Cobra replicas, but the Avanti II was built using the original Studebaker frames and tooling and thus qualifies. The engines were small-block Chevrolets (proper Studebaker V8s being unavailable), but otherwise we're dealing with genuine Avantis.
Suzuki Alto / Maruti 800
25 years (1984-present)
The Maruti 800, still in production in India today, is based on the second-gen Alto. It has a long way to go in order to match the Hillman Hunter/Hindustan Ambassador, but 25 years is a good start!
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Rolls-Royce Corniche
24 years (1971-1995)
There's not much you need to change on a car like this, so Rolls-Royce stuck with a winning formula.
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Rolls-Royce Phantom VI
23 years (1968-1991)
374 were made. The Queen got two of them. Any questions?
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Wartburg 353
23 years (1965-1988)
With only seven moving parts in the engine, there wasn't much to go wrong with this East German machine.
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Audi 100 C3 / FAW Hongqi CA7200/CA7300
(21 years) 1982-2003
FAW (or some copycat) might still be making Audi C3-based cars in China now, but we can't be sure. We are sure, however, that the production run lasted at least 20 years.
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Jaguar XJS
21 years (1975-1996)
Should this car be lumped in with the XJ6, just because the chassis is pretty much the same? Blasphemy!
De Tomaso Pantera
21 years (1970-1991)
Can we write about the Pantera without mentioning Vince Neill and his ill-fated 3-block trip to the liquor store? Apparently not! Anyway, the Ford Cleveland-powered Pantera stayed more or less the same for the entirety of its production run, and we all want one!
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Reliant Regal
21 years (1951-1972)
Yes, three-wheelers with closed bodies count as cars. The Reliant Robin nearly qualified as well, but missed by a couple of years.
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Volkswagen Karmann Ghia
20 years (1955-1975)
I left the Karmann Ghia out the first time because it's just a Beetle pan with a sporty body, but that wasn't fair. The Karmann Ghia was a distinct model! Too bad the Brazilians didn't keep making it for an extra 30 years.
Reliant Scimitar
20 years (1964-1984)
The first few generations of Scimitar were pretty much the same car under the skin.
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Saab 96
20 years (1960-1980)
How did I miss this car the first time around? Its ancestry stretches well beyond 20 years, but a couple of decades as perhaps the best two-stroke car ever made is accomplishment enough.
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Cadillac D Body
20 years (1977-1997)
I was very skeptical about including this car in the list, but Cadillac ice-racer William sold me on it. He also came up with some exhaustingly comprehensive rules for determining eligibility for the All-Time Survivors list, and I'll post them pretty soon, but for now I'll just share what he had to say about the Caddy D:
Of course it's the downsized Cadillac Rear Wheel Drive Fleetwood/de Ville ("D" Body), introduced on Cadillac's 75th anniversary for '77. Built from August 1976 until July 1997, the new "Right-Sized" Caddie (and GM's first full metric car) came in a variety flavors (de Ville sedan and two door, Brougham & Fleetwood) and a litany of engines: The program started with the L33 425, last of the "big iron" Caddie V-8's (down from the glory days 500 CID and nearly the same digits in torque), and soldiered on with the most diverse/bizzare collection of engines ever to grace a motor car: 368 Cadillac "Sleever," LF9 Buick diesel V-8, 253 Buick V-6 (the first non-V-8 for a Cadillac), the "8-6-4" disaster variant of the 363, an Oldsmobile 5.6, and finally the Cadillac "GM Corporate V-8 engine of Tomorrow" (forgotten the next day) the All-Aluminum cam eating 4.1 HT. And that's just the first ten years. Sure the de Ville and Fleetwood nameplates bailed to the dark side going front wheel drive in 1985 but the Brougham soldiered on in venerable "D" body glory for another decade and more.

The engine-of-the-week theme continued with an Oldsmobile 307 LG8, Chevy 5.0L and finally the Chevy 5.7. With the beginning of the Republican power shift, production packed up and moved to Texas to be closer to oil millionaires who would soon rule/ruin the world. The 1994 re-deux took the "D" body into the world of suppository-based styling complete with Corvette-derived LT-1 350, but in reality it was just a re-skin with the same frame and underbody of Grandpa's car. GM corporate greed and America's thirst for pickup trucks finally made the plant more desirable for more profitable mobile gun rack production and the last GM rear wheel drive passenger car was retired, but only after Elvis and 1.7 million examples had left the building for the last time.

20 years? The (separate) frame, main body structure (more steel alone than most complete cars) is the same from the first to the last. Panel for panel all are the same until '93, when the got out the hasp and rounded out the edges. But nothing else built by Detroit comes even close, so I think we have a strong candidate for the something that was truly Big Three built "big iron" and didn't finish out its production life in exile in Argentina (though likely this was the car exiles in Argentina where driving)..

Although we've seen a shot of the Prius limo before, we've never seen it in so much detail. These shots come to us from the fancy Jalopnik Facebook page (which is like the wild west of commenting. Have fun with it kiddies!) With six fully functioning doors, it was apparently created to tote around a whole herd of kids and their junk. It's got and somehow manages to return similar fuel economy as the regular Prius. It's center section might be a little bumpier, but you can't argue with the sleek limo proportions. Somehow this car is way, way cooler than a normal Prius, but we have no idea why. (Hat tip toGabe!)

But first, the facts. And even before that, a clarification: Bongo is not from Congo. Delicious though the rhyme may be—as confirmed by Norwegian Minister of Foreign Affairs Thorbjørn Jagland who introduced President Bongo as such during a state visit in 2001—Omar Bongo was actually born in French Equatorial Africa, a colony which later became the African west coast state of Gabon. After a career in the Gabonese military, in 1967 young Bongo found himself president of an independent Gabon, an office he would hold on to until this Monday, when he succumbed to intestinal cancer in Barcelona.

He was a true gent by the standards of African dictators. Neither facts nor rumors exist of him dining on enemies, building a Concorde airstrip in the jungles of the Congo or nurturing a machete-armed militia to decimate his country’s populace. All he did was treat Gabon and its oil riches as his personal fiefdom, being truly unable to appreciate the distinction between state funds and his checking account. Nobody knows for sure the wealth he siphoned off the Gabonese economy, but it is rumored to run into the billions of dollars—making Bongo, amongst other things, the biggest owner of real estate in France.

Although a petite man at 4'11" from the Bateke tribe, Bongo—often called “the last of Africa’s big men”—liked to live large. And large he lived when he purchased a presidential limousine a decade into his rule: he got himself a Stutz Royale.

Although Gabon is a staunch pillar of Francophone Africa, the French automobile industry at this point was half a century beyond producing Royales—the Bugatti Royale, that is, of which only six were built.

Enter a resurgent Stutz Motor Car of America—of Bearcat fame—resurrected after three decades in 1968, just as Bongo ascended to the presidency. The car they built him would prove to be even rarer than the Bugatti they’d named it after: only two were made, the other going to King Fahd of Saudi Arabia.

The Royale was a stretched version of the Diplomatica, itself based on a Cadillac DeVille. It was penned by Paolo Martin, designer of James Glickenhaus’s Dino 206 Competizione and the awesome Pininfarina Modulo show car. The massive limousine was delivered to Gabon in 1977—to be promptly sent back. Why? Because according to Gabonese law, Bongo’s royal behind could not come in contact with leather. So Stutz redid the interior. Hence the velvet presidential throne:

In the equatorial heat of Gabon, the Royale would soldier on for the rest of Bongo’s three decades in power. During his August 2007 visit, French President Nicholas Sarkozy rode with Bongo in his plush limo.

Bongo’s body made it back home on Thursday to a Gabon ruled by Interim President Rose Francine Rogombé. He will be given a state funeral next Tuesday. The fate of his Royale is unknown. Perhaps it will keep carrying leather-averse royal Gabonese ass for years to come, a relic of full throttle American luxury.

And while Bongo may be gone, he lives on in cyberspace: you can still friend him on Facebook.

Photo Credit: The Internet Guide to Stutz Cars, DANIEL JANIN/AFP/Getty Images. Special thanks to Erik D’Amato.

[via photobucket, museumofhoaxes, flickr 1, flickr 2, flickr 3]

10.) Ma and Pa wanted a lakefront wedding reception so cousin Jed hooked them up.

9.) There's enough room to fit all twenty-six and a half hound dogs in this Suburban beast.

8.) This particular example brings Luigi Colani to mind. The handiwork is impeccable.

7.) This motorcycle limo is perfect for your brother/second-cousin/uncle looking to have his Kodiac chaw and not worry about having to spit into his favorite Nascar commemorative collectible cup. Dale would approve.

6.) Thanks to this lifted show of brute force, we're actually starting to wish we were rednecks.

5.) The perfect limo for when both Bo and Luke need to simultaneously marry that ultra hot cousin of theirs.

4.) Ever take that Astro-limo off any sweet jumps?

3.) Not only can you use this Dodge Ram limo to get to your reception; you can also use it for its dual-use honeymoon hotel right there in the truck bed.

2.) Monte Carlo, Nascar-liveried stretch limo... Need we say more?

1.) The ingenuity involved in building this stretched abomination truly impresses us. Is that a U-Haul truck front end?

This Maser packs enough punch to pick-up and joyride ten of your closest gold chain-wearing friends down to the Crazy Horse Two with all the class and romance that an Italian super sedan can muster. Florida-based, Padilla Car Collection built this Maserati Quattroporte stretch limo and it's claimed to be the only one in the world like it; We'll be thanking God every day, until that is, they build another one. [carscoop via padilla car collection]

Both the 1986 Toyota Corolla GT-S and 1979 Cadillac Fleetwood Limousine live in my neighborhood, so I've been forced to watch their respective downward spirals in recent months.


The Corolla parks on Alameda's main downtown thoroughfare, in a neighborhood packed with apartment buildings and businesses. Parking is San Francisco-grade maddening, especially when the street-sweeping parking tickets get dealt out, and tensions often run high. That means that the guy who owns this street-parked project AE86 is forced to play a game of automotive musical chairs with the car as he works on obtaining parts and fixing stuff… and the large quantity of cop-issued "move this car within 72 hours of git towed away" red-tag residue indicates that some of the locals are reporting the car as abandoned on a regular basis. It gets worse, though; after two years on the same block, it appears that enraged parking-space vigilantes have turned to vandalism to get their point across. It wouldn't bother me so much if we were dealing with just another Excel or Sable, but the GT-S is a genuine classic.

The story of this '79 Fleetwood limo is a little different. It's been anchored at the same spot for nearly a year now, and (since it's across the street from a mall and not in front of anyone's house) nobody seems to care. Could it have a trunk full of decomposing mob victims? Bales of banknotes? No doubt the reality is less romantic, but at least it's interesting to see a huge abandoned vehicle find a tow-truck-proof spot on Red Tag Island.

Nowadays, the unreliability soul is missing from European luxury machines. The flaky electricals character and the sense of misery style. That's why your next Hell Project should be a fine high-zoot ride of decades past! But before we look at today's contestants, congratulations are in order to the United States Of America, the PCH underdog that pulled off a stunning upset comparable to the 1980 US Olympic hockey team's win. That's right, we're talking about the Chevy Corvairs that beat the Renault Dauphine Gordini yesterday, toppling seemingly unbeatable PCH UltraPower France and snatching away the PCH trophy (which now stands, leaking oil and shooting sparks, at the top of the Statue of Liberty's torch).

You know how much you'd have had to pay for a brand new Mercedes-Benz 450SLC back in 1973? $16,498, that's how much! That was more than enough to buy two '73 Cadillac Fleetwood 60s, or seven Datsun 510s. That's right, rather than have a different 510 for every day of the week, 450SLC buyers opted to go with one incredibly sophisticated machine, and that should tell you all you need to know. These days, you'd have an easier time selling a Senate seat without having a bunch of goddamn feds busting your goddamn balls over it- for no reason- than you would finding an affordable project 450SLC, but check this out: here's a 1973 Mercedes-Benz 450SLC (go here if the ad disappears) for just $1,200! It's in rust-free Albuquerque, and the seller spells it all out thusly: "Complete, interior is apart,have everything. Could be put back together." You see? It could be put back together, and you're just the one to do it! Can that complicated, prehistorically-fuel-injected V8 be made to purr again? Bring a trailer and cash, and you'll know the answer.

You'd feel pretty sharp driving that 450SLC, but what do the Germans really know about luxury? Discipline, sure- especially when you're talking about a hard-eyed fräulein administering some much-needed discipline on you with her riding crop- but luxury? For that, you need to head over to the UK, where you can readily obtain both a stern caning from the headmistress and a dignified luxury sedan with roughly the same furniture, carpeting, and oak paneling found in King George V's study. In fact, you don't even need to cross the ocean for such a car, because this 1977 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow limousine awaits you in rusty sunny Florida! Nobody was willing to bid on it with a $5,000 asking price- for reasons we'll never understand- and so you'll probably be able to get it for much less. Really, you can buy a Rolls-Royce limo for less than five grand! Isn't this recession great? The seller provides zilch in the way of description, and it appears from the photos that the car is a terrifying basket case needs a bit of TLC, but a few shards much of the wood paneling is still there, and maybe feral cats haven't been urinating on the upholstery for the last decade or so. The engine is still there, and chances are that the majority of brake and suspension components are included in the deal. How can you lose? Thanks to David for the tip!

And yes, in at least one of the Chevy Suburbans following "Cadillac One" has a Gatling gun. Don't get in the way of that bowtied SUV.

The global economic meltdown doesn't mean you have to take a break from Hell Projects. In fact, it's more important than ever that you break out your Hell Project skills in order to give you and your'n an edge when it comes time to hit the road in search of work, handouts, escape from rampaging urban mobs, etc… and that means building a vehicle that can haul you, your loved ones, and a large percentage of your personal possessions around the land. We're talking pots and pans, crates of squawking chickens, and mattresses strapped to the outside of the vehicle here, with maybe Grandma lashing down the spare engine with bungee cords as you horse-trade some crafty yokel for a sack of cornmeal to feed your white liquor still. Sure, you could just buy a diesel Econoline and be done with it, but it's not just enough to survive, like rats or roaches. You need to roam the land in style!

The 1957 Cadillac is one fine-looking car, no doubt about it, and Cadillac built bulletproof forged-crank engines back in those days, but even a Fleetwood wouldn't be voluminous enough for your Joad-style peregrinations. Time to go Winnebago shopping? Hell no, not when you could have this 1957 Cadillac camper, which is now sitting on eBay with a price tag just barely into four figures, no reserve, and an auction end time just hours away. It doesn't run at the moment, but as the seller says: "IT MIGHT FIRE UP WITH A FRESH BATTERY AND SOME FRESH GAS." Even if it doesn't, the junkyards are full of Cadillac 472s, and even a smogified 425 will get the job done. Check out that luxurious interior- plenty of room for everyone! Thanks to Ian for the tip.

That Cadillac camper is great, but you and your fellow Joads would be forced to panhandle twice as hard to keep it fueled up (or, even worse, you'd be forced to use your whiskey still to make 200-proof to burn in the engine). What you need is a vehicle with space for family members, pets, livestock, weapons, etc., yet doesn't go through gas the way the Federal Reserve is currently going through banknote-printing ink. You could get one of those Toyota truck-based campers, but living in one of those isn't really living. Instead, this 1985 VW Rabbit six-door limo will do the job. It's got plenty of space, an economical four-cylinder engine, and will show all those other losers at the hobo jungle that you've got class! The engine isn't in the car- something about an attempted VR6 swap- but the seller will include it in the deal. You might even consider grafting the bed from a VW pickup onto the back, for more carrying capacity. You might need a running start to get up hills, but that's no big hardship! Thanks to Nitroracer for the tip.

Last time, we had a momentous upset in the Choose Your Eternity poll, with a Detroit car somehow managing to beat two French cars! Granted, no Citroëns were involved, but we're sure there's some weeping and gnashing of teeth in Paris right now. Not like France loses its PCH SuperAwesomeMegaPower rank, of course, but for now that turbocharged Falcon has brought a bit of the pride back to the reeling Motor City (and we're going to have a Detroit-on-Detroit matchup in honor of that accomplishment). Today we're returning to a level of the underworld we haven't visited since the Octo-Door '57 Chrysler took on the Stretch Ferrari 400: Hell Limousines!

Chrysler never built a Hexa-Door Dodge Dart station wagon- which we think was a terrible miscalculation- but when the Vatican demands such a machine for nunly transportation, American free enterprise leaps into action! Such is the story behind this 1962 Dodge Dart stretch wagon, and maybe it's even true! The seller states right off that it's "in poor shape," and that's definitely the truth, but who cares? In addition to his distressing honesty, he seller also violates all the eBay traditions concerning grammar, spelling, and capitalization, but we'll overlook that because this thing is a Hexa-Door Dart Wagon Alleged Nunmobile! How could you pass it up? There's rust. It's been sitting since 1979, most of that time outdoors in rural Kentucky. The engine is a poly 318, which is sort of like the LA block 318, only way heavier. The good news is that you'll be able to find every possible mechanical component without half trying, for cheap, and along the way you'll discover that you might as well upgrade to a 500-horsepower 360. You might not want to invest too much time and money into the running gear, however, until you've vanquished the Rust Monster, and that might take decades some time, plus a few million Hail Marys. Thanks to ArmyOfChuckness for the tip!

A Pope-approved 6-door Dart wagon limo from Butcher Holler would be quite a daily driver, sure, but what if you must kick up the mud whilst blasting beer cans out the window with a shotgun? For that, you want a genuine, built-by-crazy-Minnesotans 4x4 Monster Cadillac Limo. Now, at this point you might be saying to yourself (in your best Upper Midwest accent) "OK, but where could I find such a car, then?" Hey, this is Project Car Hell, where eternal torment is conveniently located, and we've managed to find this 1981 Cadillac stretch limo mud truck (go here if the ad disappears), built on a Suburban chassis. You get your 36" swampers, you betcha, and your hoon-proof 350 engine, and it even runs and drives! The seller admits that it "Needs TLC," which you're free to interpret as you choose (we choose to believe it means you'll be ready to take on the gnarliest swamps of the Amazon Delta with little more than a tuneup). The seller wants $3,000, but if there ever was a price that screamed "negotiable," this is it!

When you think about a Chrysler-engined British car, the Jensen Interceptor is probably the first thing that comes to mind. While the Interceptor makes a fine Project Car Hell candidate, its perceived value to Jensen masochists aficionados is such that you'll never find one for anywhere close to the 500-buck 24 Hours Of LeMons limit. Hold on, though- what about the Bristol 408? Powered by the good ol' reliable Chrysler 313, the Bristol combined British style with Mopar drivetrain reliability… but is it possible to find one with a LeMons-legal price tag? Better hitch up the trailer and head for Wisconsin, because this 1966 Bristol 408 Coupe (go here if the ad disappears) has an asking price of just $500! The engine is bad, but there must be sufficient eBay-worthy pieces you can sell off this thing to score a running Chrysler small-block and Torqueflite transmission. Then just knock the suspension and brakes into quasi-functional shape and you'll be raceworthy. You can make it happen! Thanks to Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey Bret for the tip!

That Bristol would make you an instant LeMons legend, all right, but where's the absurdity? Sure, you'd have to be insane to run such a car, but you want members of other teams to stagger back in a mixture of awe and horror when they lay eyes on your racin' machine. A limousine would accomplish that, but there's the troublesome 4,000-pound weight limit to contend with. Unless… unless, of course, you were to get this 1974 Super Beetle limo (go here if the ad disappears), which has a bait-n-switch price of $8 but will likely go to the first buyer who waves a $100 bill under the seller's nose. There's no engine and transmission, but Pick Your Part is always chock-full of Beetles and Transporters, and any lawnmower mechanic armed with $9.98 worth of Brazilian replacement parts can get a Type 1 engine working just fine. Handling on the race track might be a little odd, since the pendulum with the big rear weight is now longer, but you won't be perturbed by the spinouts once you've got that Index Of Effluency and/or Organizer's Choice trophy in your shaky hands! Thanks to LeMons Supreme Court Justice Loverman for the tip!

Motorhomes are great, as we've seen before, and when you own one you'll be able to live in comfort as you travel to such events as the Superfund Site Cook-Off™ and the Artillery-R-Us Unexploded Munitions Scavenger Hunt™. But why drive some boring ol' Winnebago or haul a jackknifey trailer, listening to the gurgling sound of your cash being swilled by that great big engine's insatiable thirst? What you need is a camper with vintage style and a modern fuel-efficient powerplant- something along the lines of this '40 Ford with integrated Bolar trailer and Pontiac 4-cylinder engine! Yes, that's a front-wheel-drive Pontiac engine/transaxle, which we're assuming came out of an early-80s Phoenix, and that setup gives this travelin' machine a claimed 27 miles per gallon! Sure, you might have a tough time climbing up hills or even driving into the wind, given that the first iterations of the ol' Iron Duke put out 86 horsepower, but this vehicle sleeps four and boasts a full kitchen. The bodywork looks to have been performed with a minimum of duct tape and/or pop rivets, so perhaps there will be no nasty surprises as you prepare to fix the paint job. The description is a bit vague about the running condition, especially the part about the "friend that has a pretty low mileage engine in a car 2 years newer that has full injection with all the extras he stored this for me so when i came back from china i was going to fix it," but you'll sort that out after the purchase. Thanks to 42FordTrucks for the tip!

A custom motorhome would be fun, but what if you need something that will really turn heads at Spirochete Spiro's Strip Club? The Spirochete dancers probably won't want to climb into that '40, no matter how many Hawaiian Punch-and-Everclear Sno-Cones you buy for them. No, you need a limo for that, and we don't mean your everyday boring Town Car. We mean a limo more like this stretched 1980 VW Rabbit! This is no backyard conversion; the seller swears it was"Professionally stretched when new," and some of the rusty body panels have been replaced. A metal shop made the floors, and a "roof panel from an 84 Jetta GLI welded in with a sunroof" is more or less firmly affixed on top. There's no fuel tank and thus no way to drive it, but the seller states "It did run and drive great prior," though worrywarts might wring their hands over the lack of any mention of how long it's been since it ran. With an automatic transmission, it might be on the pokey side, but limos aren't about going fast! Thanks to YotaLoLux for the tip.

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The Mercedes-Benz special-protection unit marks its 80th anniversary with the launch of the new S 600 Pullman Guard state limousine

Mercedes-Benz is proud to present a prestigious new luxury limousine for use by government leaders, captains of industry and royalty – the S 600 Pullman Guard with integrated Highest Protection. The latest in a long and unique tradition of large, armoured, prestige limousines from the world's oldest automaker, this model also marks a special anniversary for the Stuttgart-based firm: 80 years of manufacturing vehicles with factory-integrated special protection.

The very first Mercedes-Benz car to be built with factory-integrated special protection was a Pullman limousine version of the "Nürburg" 460 (W08) series which was introduced in 1928. At the beginning of the 1930s, this was followed by the 770 (W07) "Grand Mercedes" (which provided protection befitting the status of Japanese Emperor Hirohito, to name but one prominent user) as well as by the special-protection variants of the 500 (W08) and 770 (W 150) model series. In the 1960s, the legendary Mercedes-Benz 600 took on the mantle of state limousine for a period of almost thirty years which saw it serve as an official vehicle not only for the German government, but also for many other countries' leaders and ruling houses. Further special-protection Pullman versions of the Mercedes-Benz S-Guard followed their distinguished predecessors – the very latest being the new S 600 Pullman Guard.

Like the famously luxurious and spacious open-plan Pullman railway coaches after which it is named, the new S 600 Pullman Guard treats its occupants to a travelling environment characterised by generous accommodation and the highest comfort. The vehicle owes its remarkably spacious interior to its 4315-millimetre wheelbase (115 centimetres longer than that of the long version of the special-protection S-Class). Indeed, with an overall length of 6356 millimetres, the S 600 Pullman Guard is a vehicle of truly majestic proportions which offers its passengers not only a maximum of comfort, but also a superbly appointed setting for discreet meetings, equipped, of course, with all the key communications and entertainment systems. This ensures they are always able to remain fully in touch with the rest of the world while enjoying the luxury and comfort of their own very special place in it.

Developed as a new vehicle on the basis of the S 600
The technical basis for the new Pullman limousine is provided by the S 600 Guard, the top of the Mercedes-Benz Guard range. It is powered by a superbly smooth twelve-cylinder biturbo engine with a displacement of 5513 cubic centimetres and an output of 380 kW/517 hp with an impressive 830 Nm of torque.

The suspension and basic vehicle structure have been modified as it would be impossible to guarantee the long-term overall stability of the vehicle with its extra-long wheelbase if the lengthening process consisted of simply inserting an additional body section. The modifications also provide a solid foundation for the integration of the heavy special-protection elements. Furthermore, the new state limousine is equipped with a higher rear roof for easier access and greater headroom. Four passengers can be accommodated in the rear compartment behind the partition — in comfortable seats whose face-to-face arrangement recalls the great Pullman tradition.

Integrated special protection for outstanding safety
What's more, the new Mercedes-Benz S 600 Pullman Guard offers its demanding passengers extremely effective protection from terrorist attacks. Its Highest Protection status means that it has been engineered to resistance level B6/B7, as tested and certified by state-approved organisations, and also meets additional requirements which go beyond those laid down in the standard but which are tested by public and independent organisations. Its armour resists military-standard small-arms projectiles and provides protection against fragments from hand grenades and other explosive charges. Additional safety features include run-flat tyres, a self-sealing fuel tank and a fire-extinguishing system.

In order to ensure that the vehicle offers outstanding protection, specialists with many years of experience in this field apply the principle of integrated special protection to the Pullman limousine. In effect this means that, rather than retro-fitting the protective elements in the doors, rear wall, side panels, roof lining and firewall etc. of an already finished vehicle, they fully integrate them into the bodyshell in a dedicated production process. This effectively creates a coat of armour around the entire passenger cell. Even the roof frame struts, door locks, door gaps, exterior mirror mountings and other components are incorporated into this security concept. The resulting vehicle offers hallmark Mercedes-Benz build quality combined with comprehensive Highest Protection characteristics, even in those areas where retrofitting would be all but impossible.

A further advantage of integrated special protection is that the protective features actually reinforce the body structure rather than exerting extra strain. In addi-tion, Mercedes-Benz' integrated design approach means that any body-structure reinforcements required due to the weight of the protective elements can be integrated right from the very start. The result is extraordinary longevity and the same exceptional quality all round that distinguishes Mercedes-Benz standard-production models.

All Mercedes-Benz Guard models display the same outstanding ride comfort and effortlessly superior handling as their series-production counterparts. Further-more, generously dimensioned suspension components and brakes ensure that their handling qualities are almost identical to those of the standard-production models, thus giving the driver an optimal driving feel with high dynamic reserves at all times. The chassis is also designed to provide hallmark Mercedes ride comfort despite the extra weight.

The basis for this is the long-standing, continuous and close cooperation with nationally and internationally recognised security authorities. For decades, this has ensured that the Mercedes specialists have been able to continuously increase their expertise in the fields of development and manufacturing while also applying their vast experience in vehicle protection technology and ballistics to meet the highest standards.

Thanks to the seamless integration of the special protection features, the paint quality and corrosion protection match the standards of Mercedes-Benz series-production vehicles. And, like all other Guard models, the Pullman limousines can be serviced in any Mercedes-Benz service outlet anywhere in the world – another important factor which ensures easy access to comprehensive service of the highest standard.

80 years of Guard – factory-integrated special protection
As the inventor of the motor car, the world's oldest automaker has always felt a special obligation to drive forward the development of automotive technology at the highest level and to keep on setting new standards for the industry. This demanding objective which Mercedes-Benz has set itself also applies to its special-protection vehicles, as is demonstrated by the Stuttgart-based premium brand's unique track record in this field. As early as 1928, with a vehicle based on the Nürburg 460 model, Daimler-Benz became the first company to factory-fit vehicles with special protective elements design to provide the occupants with effective protection from attack with firearms and explosives. This was the start of eight decades of extensive materials testing and focused development, during much of which Mercedes-Benz enjoyed a unique position in the field of special-protection vehicles.

The special-protection version of the Mercedes-Benz "Nürburg" 460 model was followed in the 1930s and 1940s by armoured variants of the 770 "Grand Mercedes" as well as the 500 and 540 K models. In September 1963, Mercedes-Benz presented a new, exclusive prestige vehicle – the legendary 600 model – to meet the requirements of the most demanding customers. Shortly after the launch, the German government approached Daimler-Benz with a request for an armoured version for state visitors. For the engineering team in Stuttgart, this marked the beginning of a new era chara-cterised by a new set of challenges – not least, how to reconcile the requirements of a special-protection vehicle with a self-supporting body structure which had by now become the industry norm. With no other German manufacturer at the time able to offer factory-built armoured passenger cars and Mercedes-Benz limou-sines being held in high esteem by many governments around the world, a close working relationship developed between Daimler-Benz and the German author-ities. In the course of this cooperation, the Stuttgart-based automaker came up with many new techni-cal solutions and concepts. Indeed, this intensive cooper-ation formed the basis for the current European standards which define the different resistance levels.

In 1970, when there was suddenly great demand for special-protection vehicles following attacks on diplomats in Latin America, Daimler-Benz rose to the occasion with armoured versions of the 280 SEL 3.5 model. Demand grew once again during the 1970s with the attacks by the RAF terrorist group. Mercedes-Benz therefore built special-protection variants of the eight-cylinder 350 SE, 350 SEL, 450 SE and 450 SEL models which it supplied to a select group of customers, including state bodies and governments in Europe and beyond.

All subsequent generations of the S-Class have been available in the form of special-protection variants. This was the case with the 126 model series as well as the 140, 220 and the current 221 model series. In addition to its S-Guard line-up, Mercedes-Benz today also offers E-Guard and G-Guard special-protection vehicles.

Mercedes-Benz offers High Protection and Highest Protection
Mercedes-Benz uses this know-how acquired over many years to provide answers to different risk scenarios all over the world, offering Mercedes-Benz Guard models with various resistance levels in accordance with the European standard.

*High-Protection vehicles, engineered to the European B4 resistance level, resist large-calibre revolver ammunition and offer particularly good protection against the increasing threat of drug-related and violent street crime.
*Highest-Protection vehicles, engineered to resistance level B6/B7, provide effective protection against the threat posed by terrorist attacks. Their armour is designed to resist rifle-launched projectiles from military weapons which have a velocity almost twice that of bullets fired from a revolver. They also offer resistance to shrapnel from hand grenades and explosive charges.

[DaimlerBenz]

The Mercedes-Benz 600 may well be the ultimate vintage German land yacht; the list of 600 owners includes such luminaries as Idi Amin, Pol Pot, Leonid Brezhnev, and John Lennon. In 1972, the four-door Pullman 600 listed at $37,928, or about $199,000 in 2008 dollars… but why limit yourself to a proletarian four doors? You're a high roller! A whale! Your entourage is so big (and so heavily armed) that only six doors will do, and we've found just what you need: this 1972 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman six-door limousine, priced so low that you'll still have enough cash left to stock it with champagne and Eastern European prostitutes. We may not even be justified in calling an easy restoration like this a project- after all, the seller claims it's 100% complete (though those parts that are "off the car" may have wandered off during its 15 years of storage). Whoa, did we say "15 years of storage?" Sure, sure, you might have to fiddle with the hydraulic system for decades a day or two, since everything on the car is hydraulically operated- including the windows and doors- and the seals have definitely could have gone bad while the car sat waiting for you to come rescue it. The engine is a smaller version of the famous 6.9 V8, which means you'll have the opportunity to turn large amounts of cash into engine parts from Germany… but hey, there's no way in hell maybe the engine will fire right up!

While the 600 is pretty fast- in the same way that a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier is "pretty fast"- it's not quite what you'd call a sporty car. Let's say you want a project that will be lots of fun on twisty roads after you by some miracle get it fixed up? Something with a high-strung small-displacement V8 and that legendary Italian shoddy build quality passion we all love so much? That's right- we're talking about this 1975 Lamborghini Urraco, which is priced at a very un-Lambo-esque $26,500. We know, there are some who say the Urraco isn't a "real" Lamborghini, but they're the same ones who say herpes isn't a "real" STD," so pay 'em no mind! Now, this here Urraco seems pretty solid; the owner claims it's "WITHOUT ANY RUST, MOTOR SOUNDS EXCELLENT," and the only problem seems to be a bad clutch. You think anything else might be wrong? We don't! Put in a new clutch and get ready for years of trouble-free daily driving, we say!

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Big American pushrod V8s are always cool when installed in a European car- just look at the Jensen Interceptor or Facel Vega to see what we mean. However, the nature of Project Car hell is such that you need to drop your crude-yet-potent cast-iron powerplant into a car whose designers never imagined such a combination in all their wildest opium dreams. You could just pick out the car and do the entire swap from scratch, but it's far more insane fun to start with someone else's half-finished project! Say, this 1967 Peugeot 404 (go here if the ad disappears), which has been equipped with a 280Z front subframe and is- in theory- set up for a small-block Chevy engine. Holy power-to-weight ratio, a 404 with a rip-snortin' 383 crate motor would sure be something, eh? Or you could forget about the Chevy and put a Chrysler 383 in there! Let your imagination run wild... and you'll have plenty of time to do that, what with all the fabricating and parts chasing you'll be doing with this project.

A psychotic V8 Peugeot would be a welcome edition to the garage, but sometimes you and your entourage need to make a good impression when you roll up to Nickel Nick's Hot Slots Casino in North Las Vegas, and we mean the kind of impression that only a one-of-a-kind custom limousine can deliver. Forget those stretch Hummers or even a stretch Ferrari, folks, because now you have the opportunity to buy this custom limo assembled from 1976 and 1982 Corvettes (go here if the ad disappears)! We'll admit it needs some work (and we don't just mean a couple of hours of quick Bondoization), and you might want to take a good hard look at the frame welds before taking it out on a public street... but look at this thing! Imagine it with a roof made of something sturdier than duct tape and trashbags and an interior fully decked out with a full bar, Sno-Cone machine, cocktail-table Missile Command arcade game, and Max Mosley Edition™ swagger-stick storage locker! You'll have class and plenty of it when you and your crew roll in this baby, no doubt about it! Of course, since it's already set up for a V8 engine, you won't have too much trouble putting a Maximum Torque Specialties Cadillac 500 under the hood. Got to be a Cadillac engine in a Corvette limo, right?

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Ah, the custom stretch limo! Conjures up treasured memories of projectile-vomiting Bacardi 151 all over your prom date's Very Expensive Dress, don't it? Keep in mind, however, that renting a custom stretch is one thing... but owning one takes the whole Limo Experience to a new, even classier level. But stretched Town Cars or even Hummers are a dime-a-dozen; you need something as cool as the Toronado Limowagon if you want to haul your entourage in the style to which they're no doubt totally unaccustomed. Something with fins. Something like this 1957 Chrysler Windsor 8-door airport limo (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced at a get-your-eyes-checked $4,500! The seller figures there's no need to waste time listing everything wrong with this car; instead, he or she has posted a single hazy photograph and included the following two sentences of description: "Looks like Christine, the killer car. Needs complete restoration." There you have it! So many questions unanswered (and, by the way, wasn't Christine a '58? And a Plymouth?), but we're pretty sure you can count on any question involving synonyms for "iron oxide" being answered in the affirmative. But put on your triple-thickness rose-colored glasses and picture yourself behind the wheel of this car after a full bank account and sanity depleting restoration, trying to see around that enormous blower you'll have perched on top of a gasser-style 392 Hemi!

An 8-71-blown Hemi '57 Chrysler limo would be the bee's nuts indeed, but what if you rumble up to Wet T-Shirt Night at Rohypnol Ron's and, just as your betuxed homies pop open all those doors and get ready for a truly grand entrance, a dissenting voice from the awestruck crowd cries out "But that's an airport limo!" and then the spell is broken? What then? Well, you could play the trump card of a series of hemi-powered Limo Donuts in the parking lot... but what if you'd taken on a different stretch limo project? What if you'd purchased a custom stretch Ferrari? And not some Fiero-based "Ferrari" but the real deal? You'd think such a thing would be impossible to find, but just check out this 1981 Ferrari 400i stretch limo (go here if the ad disappears) and then try to tell us that the American Dream isn't alive and well! That's right, a stretch V12-powered Ferrari! It's a lot more expensive than the Chrysler, and the seller says it's "mechanically sound, clean but can use some minor cosmetic work." But come on, a 27-year-old Italian car that's been hacked up and then driven at 12MPH while the interior gets hosed down with every bodily fluid that Newport Beach promgoers and 4th-tier celebrities can emit? Hell!

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