Welcome Jalopnik readers to a new segment where, I, as your intrepid reviewer get ten minutes to drive three cars and make some sort of meaningful, ideally insightful and maybe even witty, comparison.

You know this weekend's Classic Ad Watch had to come from a Super Bowl, right? It's probably in the Constitution somewhere, or the Bible. Maybe both.

I am a Lexus hater. Much as I like the original LS400, everything else they make just seems so willfully bland, inoffensive, and characterless. And then there's this new 2014 IS, and…and I think I like it.

The first generation Lexus IS SportCross was one of my favorite versions of the car. A good looking wagon — I'm not certain what SportCross means — with rear-wheel drive and super awesome Altezza lights was just what the doctor ordered. It was the first Lexus I actively wanted.

In Paris, Lexus showed off the LF-CC coupe concept. We immediately knew and said that it was a thinly veiled concept version of the upcoming 2014 Lexus IS.

Christmas is just around the corner, Jalops! Hopefully you've finished all your shopping by now, including signing a surprise lease on that Lexus SUV for your spouse and buying a huge red bow to put it on it.

I generally don't wish ill on anyone, but given the chance, I'd probably put my fist through the skull of whoever invented those Lexus ads they run around the holidays.

Toyota's Teutonic performance group, Toyota Motorsports GmbH, has a long, rich history of making Toyotas go faster, and they've now turned their speeditization gaze on Toyota's flagship of quiet, comfortable cruising for aging, successful dentists, the Lexus LS.

Welcome to Sunday Matinee, where we highlight classic car reviews or other longer videos I find on YouTube. Kick back and enjoy this blast from the past.