• Jalopnik
  • spy-photos
  • jalopnik-reviews
  • Profile logout login

#lemonspenalties

Jalopnik

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #offtopic,
  • #tips,
  • #spyphotos,
  • etc.

Detroit, 7:56 PM
Mon Nov 23
29 posts in the last 24 hours

Contact

Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM

Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email

Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email

Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree

Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla

Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli

Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi

Follow Jalopnik on:
Facebook
Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1753 Subscribers
Jalopnik
  • posts about #lemonspenalties more →

    Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans

    Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of scottcom36 has Weekday DT's, Weekend OD's scottcom36 has Weekday DT's, Weekend OD's
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Were any of the beads utilized for their typical Mardi Gras purpose...successfully?
     Reply
    scottcom36 has Weekday DT's, Weekend OD's was starred scottcom36 has Weekday DT's, Weekend OD's was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/14/09

    @scottcom36 has Weekday DT's, Weekend OD's: Once the drive-thru daiquiris kicked in, sure. Didn't have camera at the ready, though.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    06/14/09

    @Murilee Martin: we need some lemons-grade um, highbeams.
     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Wow, your Prius had the power to take all those beads up to speed?


    I kid, I kid. Some real awesome penalties here, all painful, all hilarious, and all as creative as the Murilee Carburateur Mating Ritual.

     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/14/09

    @Mobius_1: I did not take those beads to a set cruise-controlled speed of 107 miles per hour last Friday!


    [Statute of limitations, you understand, shhh!]


    Also, is it just me, or would a full reenactment of "Our Friend the Carburettor" be a totally excellent LeMons penalty?

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Strolling Player: "Carburettor" as a penalty? I though America didn't torture?
     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of Skullbussa Skullbussa
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Wow, enough of this LeMons stuff. Is this a site dedicated to cars or a site dedicated to frat boys with too much time on their hands?
     Reply
    Skullbussa was starred Skullbussa was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: Howdy, Stranger. Your comment is what we call a false dilemma. You're here on a weekend. The rules are different.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: indeedarooskie, the rules are different on weekends, sucka.
     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: Frat boys? I see no popped collars and flat billed hats here.


    There's the [Log Out] button, take it or leave it. You obviously haven't been here long enough to understand Lemons.

     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: What is it with the frat boy references? LeMons ain't no frat party.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: Yeah, I was at that race! Every car was a lifted Wrangler!


    Wait, that's not true at all!


    Get out.

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of Pete Gaines Pete Gaines
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: Thanks for chiming in. My hammer needed some exercise.
     Reply
    Pete Gaines was starred Pete Gaines was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: LeMons is the least frat-boy-ish thing I could think of.


    And I would say that this site is at least partially dedicated to people with too much time on their hands.

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/14/09

    @Skullbussa: Sorry, but this isn't Edmunds. You should really leave before we force you to.

    (Violent Star Posse assemble like Voltron!)
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: Can I be the left big toe of Voltron?
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/14/09

    @discontinuuity is once again meme-free: Yes, and I get to be the head and trigger finger.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of BTLFED BTLFED
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: Then I'll be the asshole.


    What?

     Reply
    BTLFED was starred BTLFED was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    @BTLFED does not has teh funny: You're not the one who dispenses shit, my friend.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of domino domino
    06/14/09

    @Pete Gaines: (swooning) my hero!
     Reply
    domino was starred domino was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    06/15/09

    @Pete Gaines: (artistic rendering of Pete weilding the mighty ban hammer)
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of skitter skitter
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    I strongly recommend attending LeMons, just for the sight of a car leaving the pits with 'I was doing good until I went RRRRRRRRRT' written all over it, followed closely by brainless zombie drivers wandering through the pits, neither with any real explanation. (No highway signs warned of either danger.) Equally surreal is meeting fellow Jalops, stepping outside our reputations and the comment boxes that we've hitchhiked in, discovering that in person we're still the same breed of jackass. And, of course, Murilee is even more beautiful in person.
     Reply
    skitter was starred skitter was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @skitter: I'm SO jealous that you have basked in the personal radiance that is Ms. Murilee.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/14/09

    @skitter: So I trust you'll be on a LeMons team the next time I see you at a race.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of skitter skitter
    06/14/09

    @Murilee Martin: All I need is a garage.
     Reply
    skitter was starred skitter was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/14/09

    @skitter: Agreed, "^ RACEWAY PARK 3" somehow doesn't capture the essence of that to which you're about to be subjected.


    @Murilee Martin: I'll likely be spectating in Houston, but racing'll have to wait until next year for me. Dollar dollar bill, y'all.

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/15/09

    @skitter: If your in Houston TX, I have a offer you can't refuse.
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/15/09

    @skitter: Keep an eye the "Human Resources" section of the LeMons Forums. Some Houston team is sure to have an open slot or two at some point.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of BTLFED BTLFED
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Did I miss the coverage of the drag racing or has it not been covered yet? That's the main reason I was so pissed I missed this Lemons.


    It may be here though and I just missed it because I'm stupid like that.

     Reply
    BTLFED was starred BTLFED was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    06/14/09

    @BTLFED does not has teh funny: Drag racing coverage coming up later.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Oh give me those redneck teeths (preferebly after cleaning), I'll show you some Boomhauer
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @TexanIdiot25- needs a edit buton... EDIT: Needs an edit but...: Hit's pronounciated "teefs."
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of domino domino
    06/14/09

    @TexanIdiot25- needs a edit buton... EDIT: Needs an edit but...: that is one of the best king of the hill episodes ever. and why haven't i heart clicked you yet?
     Reply
    domino was starred domino was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/15/09

    @domino: dang-doo-domino-dun-do-uhm-get-dum-heart-clickity-clickty-cheekow-bow-chickw-wow-wowww-lopnik...
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    06/15/09

    @TexanIdiot25- needs a edit buton... EDIT: Needs an edit but...: FUUUCK
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Of course Strolling Player would have experience with beads.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: Zing!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer:

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Strolling Player: Why is Dearthair looking at me like that?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Maxichamp Maxichamp
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Jalopnik's very own Confederacy of Dunces. I meant that in a laudatory way.
     Reply
    Maxichamp was starred Maxichamp was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    In reply to Beads, Zombies, And Southern Explanations: The Penalties Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons New Orleans
    Haha, Sketchmarker, that's amazing!


    God damn, I really wish I kihd be theya t' judge all the wikkit tayrble Ninglind accents.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: Extra-cruel penalty: don't let the offenders back on the track until they can pronounce "Ayuh" in a manner deemed correct by a qualified judge.. they'd be there for HOURS, I bet.


    "Summah Complaint" penalty: Dress racecar up like a Lexus SUV or some such. Make driver wear full-on LL Bean winter gear (with tags, pins, etc. still on). fill car with live lobsters (or cooked, judges' choice). Make driver negotiate track backwards for X number of laps, stopping every 1/3 of a lap trying to buy "antiques", loudly exclaiming how "quaint" evrything is until a New Englander in a moose-suit appears and punches them in the face.


    What, too much?

     Reply
    Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was starred Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was unstarred
    Image of Armand Armand
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: I was gonna head out theah, but they told me I cawn't get theah frahm heah.
     Reply
    Armand was starred Armand was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    @Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable: No no no not too much AT ALL! That's amazing!


    I can let out a good "ayuh". I'm from New Hampshire, after all.


    @simon_C: Not all New Englanders have that accent, by far; I was being facetious. It's mainly a Wistah thing, though it's fah from unhehd of 'round Bahstin an' 'specially in turrists down the Cape, not ta mention th' Noth an' South Shoahs.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    06/14/09

    @Ambiguously Fuzzy Plushroom: Ayuh, me too.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    06/14/09

    @Armand: Noh, ya gut to go tuh Bahth fuhst. Ya cahn get theyah fruhm Bahth.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/14/09

    @Mike the Dog: Yaw, wooden be hahf as bahd if ya didn't haftah go sauth ta go nawth.


    Also, I just said "A'ight" to my mum without thinking about it. Ah hell.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    05/31/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    Man, I fucked up by not getting in on this.
     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of wkiernan wkiernan
    05/30/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    Let me see if I've got this straight. Y'all are against cheating, so you have assigned penalties. One of them is, if I cheat, then costumed hot babes sit on me.
     Reply
    wkiernan was starred wkiernan was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    05/30/09

    @wkiernan: No, if you cheat you get penalty laps. If you drive badly, you get costumed hot babes humiliating you in front of your friends, in the desert sun.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/30/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    Okay, okay, I know Max Mosley must be here somewhere.


    Maybe it's 'cause they don't have their SS uniforms on yet?

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of joneez wants the clunkers he paid for joneez wants the clunkers he paid for
    05/30/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    Murilee, please, please post the completed DMV forms for us.
     Reply
    joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was starred joneez wants the clunkers he paid for was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    05/30/09

    @joneez wants a sunroof on his Jeep: Most of them blew away during the Dust Devil Incident. Windy in Fernley. I think I have one in my camera bag, though- will check.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/30/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    My (self-assessed) OCD only found one typographical error. But once that's printed out, I make a stack of copies... just in case.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    05/30/09

    In reply to Bad Drivers Must Smell The Boot Of Mistress WTF!
    Wow, those forms are damn awesome. I'm thinking of printing some and sticking them on random cars.


    Maybe April 1st, in case some people don't quite appreciate them on a normal day.

     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    05/30/09

    @Mobius_1: You should do that. But be wary of armed individuals.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    05/30/09

    @.357: At least weapons are limited to knives in London, but it still hurts bad.
     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    05/30/09

    @Mobius_1: You have experience?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    05/30/09

    @.357-Bringing Back The Gold: Fortunately, not. But those faces on television don't look very happy or relaxed.
     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jalopnik account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.