Perhaps the cruelest of penalties for those unable to think faster than they can drive, this team has struggled with the puzzle for — and we're being generous here — at least 30 minutes (one team member described it as feeling like an hour). It's either an issue of too many cooks in the kitchen or too many brain cells destroyed by fumes.

Race Hard Race Ugly BMW is now following just one lap behind with Team JB Weld Pontiac and Speed Racer Y'all Saturn (it's awesome) a lap behind them.

More updates of power grabs, barbecue, and Hobbesian retribution to come at Yee-Haw it's Lemons Texas 2009!

We're completely exhausted, but I've got some good photos to show you. Check in later for the details!

While it's likely a few Prius models have experienced strange mechanical issues, the evidence is primarily anecdotal. Of course, most mechanical "issues" usually start out as "anecdotal." Regardless, let's take the story of Bobette Riner. Note our emphasis:

The car had a "cute little body" that Riner loved, and she reveled in driving like a "nerdy Prius owner," watching the energy usage display on the car's center console, trying to drain every possible mile from a gallon of gasoline. [...] Traffic near the mall was congested but moving, and Riner kept the Prius pegged at 60 mph, constantly looking at the console to manage her fuel consumption.

Suddenly, she felt the car hydroplaning out of control, and when she glanced at the speedometer she realized the car had shot up to 84 mph. Riner wasn't hydroplaning; quite simply, her Prius had accelerated on its own.

Gee, you think those two things — "constantly looking at the console" and "hydroplaning out of control" might be linked? Regardless, Toyota's response was to replace the floor mats, which they say can interfere with the gas pedal. Still, there's no doubt the Prius is still a silent killer.

UPDATE: We have a statement from Toyota below

Statement From Toyota
Isolated allegations of unintended acceleration have been an industry issue for many years.

In the past, the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA) has investigated allegations of unintended acceleration on Toyota and Lexus vehicles. Neither NHTSA nor Toyota have identified a vehicle-based cause or uncovered any evidence to indicate that a throttle control system failure and braking system failure have occurred in any of these instances.

The safety of our customers is of great concern to us and we take these reports very seriously. We will continue to investigate allegations of unintended acceleration on a case-by-case basis and assist NHTSA when necessary with any of its future investigations.

[Houston Press]

Photo Credit: PriusChat

Anyone who's read the 24 Hours Of LeMons rules knows that Jay Lamm has a twisted sense of automotive humor; a Stockton native who relies on a cage-equipped Alfa GTV as a daily driver for 10 years tends to end up a little funny in the head when it comes to writing about cars. No car- or car owner- is spared; everything from the AMC Gremlin X ("Only pretends that Pat Benatar 8-track collection is ironic") to the 1980 Ferrari 308 GTS ("Occupation: Celebrity assistant, porn stand-in [no face shots], co-owner of valet parking business). Just the thing for the thin-skinned obsessive car freak on your gift list!
[Amazon, thanks to Da Judge for reminding me about this]

Some heroic late-night wrenching — and a quick trip an hour north to Detroit — after yesterday's disastrous loss of a front wheel — has helped the #99 Celica get back on the track here at the Toledo-Detroit LeMons race. Jalopnik intern Andy Didorosi was at the helm when the Celica (and its Swedish roof) hit the track again around 6:30 AM. We're sure we'll have more details later this morning, as this Jalop was only able to make it down to the race for a quick one-hour check-in.

As any cop car should, the team also has the Chevy Caprice 9C1 rigged up with a big ol' flashing light. Although this is certainly not standard-issue, and looks more like it's off the top of a cellphone tower, or maybe a small coastal lighthouse. But that's to be expected when your mission statement, "to enslave and torture," follows Barricade's "to punish and enslave."

Do you like to watch? Do you like to play? Better from home or better from the side of the road? What makes you feel cool when it starts to feel hot?

The CHP reported that the car was in working order. No mechanical failure seems to have appeared...the impact was estimated at 50 to 60 MPH...Cort Summerfield was 46 years old (02/01/1961)

UPDATE: If you remember, the 242 Turbo was actually the inspiration for the choice of the V8olvo.

UPDATE #2: The V8olvo happened to be right behind the 242 Turbo when it crashed. We're told it went into the wall at speed which made our team think perhaps something happened before the crash to the driver.

UPDATE #3: We have confirmation from a source with close ties to the team that there was indeed a fatality. We are withholding the name and other identifying characteristics until we're given the OK from the family and team.

UPDATE #4: The folks over at Bryan's Message Board have been chronicling the adventures of "Team Porcubimmer" — as such, a few of the forum fan-boys (and girls) were in the stands at Altamont. Here's one of their recaps of what happened:

he shot forward and sped up right before the turn, and went head on into the wall. didn't break, didn't turn...i didn't see anyone bump him. best guess is that he passed out and his foot just acted like a lead weight... but that's just based on the fact that he blasted forward so suddenly and made a beeline for the wall...took them forever to get a fucking tarp up. i was up in the stands with my dad, and he was really upset that it took them so long to do that.

UPDATE #5: We've just received the following e-mail from a team member of the victim of the crash with his name, age and a little bit more detail on what may have happened:

The CHP reported that the car was in working order. No mechanical failure seems to have appeared...the impact was estimated at 50 to 60 MPH...Cort Summerfield was 46 years old (02/01/1961)

As we told you earlier, the V8olvo's got a bunch of fancy new decals as the team finishes getting it ready to run in just a short while at the 24 Hours of LeMons at Altamont. Here's our favorite. Now wish 'em luck in the comments below.

Introduction to Lemon Laws

Generally speaking, a Lemon Law is any law written to give consumers protection form being sold defective goods. What a Lemon Law isn't is a guarantee that you'll be given a refund or replacement for your product without having to do some legwork. While Lemon Laws apply to a large segment of products, we're going to focus on cars.

Federal Lemon Law Protections

There are basically two dominant federal statutes protecting you from getting stuck with a malfunctioning car. The first is the Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act, named for Senator Warren Magnuson and Kate Moss.

Basically, this act protects consumers by defining the terms of a warranty and providing for a method of redress against suppliers that won't fulfill the terms of the warranty. The great breakthrough of this law is that it says if GM offers you a full warranty on your Chevy Cobalt, it doesn't work within the time-frame of the warranty, they not only have to replace or repair your car without charge, they have to do so within a reasonable amount of time.

Another component of this law is that it states that you'll be awarded attorney's fees if you win the case, thus preventing the supplier from merely waiting until you run out of money to pay your attorney. If you're buying a used car and it has a warranty, this is most often your best line of defense since most laws only cover vehicles purchased new.

The other important federal level protection comes from Article Two of the Uniform Commercial Code. To sum up the numerous subsections, you have the right to a replacement car IF you've completely complied with the procedures for replacing the vehicle (i.e., if they want to look at the car you have to take it in, provide documentation, et cetera).

State Laws

State laws vary from a recitation and agreement with the components of the UCC (making it uniform, get it?) to specific laws detailing what is and is not covered. When studying your state's Lemon Law, it's important to understand what is covered and the period of coverage.

For example, the Idaho Lemon Law covers all new vehicles (whether personal or business use), but doesn't cover motorcycles, trailers, farm equipment (so no tractor fighting folks). If you own a vehicle that qualifies in Idaho, the vehicle is liable for a replacement if four repair attempts have been made or it's been out-of-service for 30 business days out of two years or 24,000 miles (whichever is shortest). There's also a clause for unsuccessful repairs of a serious nature like steering or braking.

In Texas, the law covers motorcycles, RVs and other vehicles. Eligibility qualifies as four unsuccessful repairs when two of those repairs occurred within either one year or 12,000 miles and then the next two occurring within an additional period of the same length.

You can find a quick summary of these laws here, with more detailed information found on that state or on the site of your state's Attorney General or Consumer Affairs department.

What to do if you suspect your car is a lemon

If your brand new Cobalt is constantly in for repairs and/or is constantly out of service for problems related to the design and construction (not drunkenly driving it over ramps), you may be entitled to replacement under the warranty and under the law. But just because you're entitled, doesn't mean you'll actually get it. This is where thinking like a lawyer comes in handy.

First, save copies of everything that you get from the dealership, from the person who does any repairs. When you talk to someone, write it down and put in a file. You should be doing this with your major purchases anyways.

Second, Consumer Affairs recommends that you ask for Technical Service Bulletins related to your car, which are basically instructions sent from your carmaker to dealerships to let them know about specific defects. I.E., it may tell your Chevy dealership that the Cobalt's emissions sensor goes on the fritz in 2007 models in warmer climates. This will let you know if the company is aware of the problem or not.

Third, if your poor little Cobalt isn't getting better after a certain amount of repairs you need to contact the manufacturer and let them know you consider the car a lemon. The easiest way to do this is get a form from your state, if they have one, and submit it (always via certified mail!). For example, Wisconsin has a good form online.

If your manufacturer is enrolled in the BBB Autoline Program, you can do all of the work and arbitration through the BBB and their website.

Fourth, assure your car is in good shape. If you turn in your "lemon" and it's missing the radio and the door has been scratched then the manufacturer has a right to negotiate a lower price for your car. If it's still in good shape then you may still be able to get close to full value for it.

What if they won't take the car back

Most major automakers are going to do their best to maintain an image and avoid generating ill will. On the other hand, it's possible that the manufacturer doesn't buy that the car is defective and doesn't want to replace your Cobalt.

In most states, there's a non-governmental mediation program offered. This is usually either the BBB or another arbitration group. This is often cheaper and easier than going to court and is usually non-binding unless both parties agree to the conditions.

If you don't have the option of arbitration, or arbitration fails, you can take the manufacturer to court. There are thousands of lawyers that are more than happy to take your case (just Google it) because the laws to protect consumers are often strong. Most attorneys will look at your case for free and, because of the Magnuson-Moss Act, they can get attorney's fees paid by the manufacturer if they win.

Conclusion

Ideally, your car will never be a lemon and your dealer/manufacturer will work with you to provide for you if a problem does arise. One reason why manufacturers are offering longer warranty terms is that they're continually building better products. If you do have a problem that the seller won't repair, you should take comfort in knowing the laws are written to benefit the consumer. There's not guarantee you'll win, but taking steps to document the process effectively is your best weapon.