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Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone
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Land Rover Lends Name To Virtually Everything-Proof S1 Phone |
06/17/09
-aluminum body the size of a box of Kleenex.
-frequent battery problems.
-spare keypad bolted to top.
-dialing wand for people who perform home frostbite surgery.
-can be dissasembled easily, always end up with spare parts when you put it back together.
-can be dropped in mud, submerged, set on fire, ambushed by communist guerillas and run over without complaint. Will break down when you try to make a local call.
-number one choice of Khalihari bushmen.
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Then Hummer came along with their fancy-pants satellite radio with CD player, and guess what? They hummed their sorry asses right out of existence. And now Land Rover thinks they're the shit with their new little Beverly Hills soccer mom phone?
My Army-green ass!
What are you gonna do when your phone runs out of battery, you little fairies? 18 hours of talk time? I can wind my Jeep radio up and have all the frickin' talk time I want! It don't need no stinkin' lithiumnum-whatever-the-hell battery thing! Awwww, got no signal? Too bad your candy ass phone doesn't operate on short-wave and long-wave frequencies!
"But oh, I have my little 2 megapixel camera so that I can take pictures of the wild things I run into in the Gucci store."
Yeah? Well we have image-capturing devices, too! They're called eyes! Take off your welding #3 shade sunglasses and use them! 2 MB of memory? My brain's got a frickin' terrabyte! What are you gonna do against that!?
A built-in torch light? Awww...isn't that cute! Get a fuckin' maglite. Those have been known to stand up to a lot worse! GPS? Great. Too bad your satellites are about to fall out of the sky! And when you tirds are scratching your asses trying to figure out where the hell you are, I'll have a compass and a map that work just fine!
Bluetooth? Where I come from, that ain't a good sign for your dental hygiene! And if I had an "Opera Mini", I sure as hell wouldn't be bragging about!
The hell with your candy ass Land Rover phone crap! I'll take a good old-fashioner, red-blooded, American-icon Jeep radio any day!
/GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
06/17/09
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.
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An LED-converted six-D-cell "Rodney King Special" Maglite, though, will glow forever - plenty of time to clean up the crime scene.
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Heart-click.
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Mort: Peter, are you eating those!?!
Peter: /sarcasm/ No, I'm shoving them up my butt. /sarcasm
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I flushed it and bit the $35 charge for losing it...
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What's a 2GB memory slot? I'm pretty sure that you can put as big of a memory card in as is currently available.
06/17/09
Depends how the software is written. Some devices are limited.
Read here:
[en.wikipedia.org]
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06/17/09
My friend lives on the 9th floor of her apartment building. She accidentally dropped her iPhone down the garbage chute in her building. Having literally bought the thing less than 2 weeks prior, she braved it, and went down to the basement sorting through garbage and actually found the phone.
It appeared dead, but she was able to revive it. But of course, it had just been thrown down a garbage chute, so she proceeded to swab the entire thing in rubbing alcohol several times to disinfect it. It still works. Perfectly.
That said, the network it is connected to is shit, but the phone works as advertised.
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