Jalopnik: Johnny Cash

American Idol Ruins Johnny Cash Song With Help From A Fake KITT Mustang

Mark Arnold — Thu, 08 May 2008 09:20:00 EDT

If you thought the GT500KR in the Knight Rider made-for-TV movie was a disgusting piece of product placement, you ain't seen nothin' yet. What could be worse? How about the four remaining contestants in American Idol massacring Johnny Cash's song Ring Of Fire? What makes it extra terrible was the so-called "music video" which involved the Idols bullfighting with a Mustang which was apparently the cousin of KITT. Feel free to watch the clip with your sound turned off— we don't want to scar you.
[americanidol.com]

Commenter of the Day, Gravel In Your Guts Edition

Murilee Martin — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:30:00 EST

Señor Loverman usually does this here COTD thing, but he had to go to Kiev to pistol-whip some discipline into the crew running his lucrative spam operation. So, while he's applying some persuasion to those ZAZ-driving hackers, I'm handling the COTD duties for the day. Sometimes we give the COTD award to a commenter who gets all erudite on us, throwing in references to great works of literature and so on. Other times, the commenter who fires off a short, witty one-liner gets the nod. Today's COTD winner has managed to do both...

I speak, of course, of LascauxCaveman and his comment on today's Classic Ad Watch post:

I shot a harmful engine deposit in Reno, just to watch him die.

Great job, Lascaux! But we're not done yet- we have a Bonus Commenter of the Day Award to issue as well. Last Friday, we had Project Car Hell go up after that day's COTD... which means that a great comment sort of fell through the cracks. But we've fished that comment out of the cracks, and we're giving a belated COTD to Rust-MyEnemy, whose PCH-themed rewriting of the lyrics to Tom Waits' "What's He Building In There?" in the Tom Waits Edition PCH knocked us all on our collective tuchuses:

What's he building in there?
What the hell is he building
In there?
He has subscriptions to hot-rod
Magazines... He never
Waves when he drives by
He's hiding all that rust from
non Bel air drivers... He's all
To himself... I think I know
Why... He's been trying to patch the chassis
on his '58 bel air
He sold his children and pets to
pay for repair....He failed his smog
And suspect big ends and
His funds are dying... and
What about all spares in the yard?
What's he building in there?
With that project started.
If he dares. What's he building
In there... I'll tell you one thing
He's not building a Corvette to go
hooning around in.
Whats he building In there?

Now what's that sound from under the door?
He's got it started, I can hear
it roar. and I
Swear to god I heard his wife
Moaning low... and I keep
Seeing the light of a welder, show...
He has an air-wrench
And tranny parts galore... and you
somehow know hes' done this before.
His wife has filed for car-based
divorce... But this hasn't eswaged him form tink'ring, of course... What's he building
In there. What the hell is he
Building in there? I heard he
found some spare parts in
a field in Tennessee,
And he gave up on life to build
a Chevy that would please 'ya...
but what is he building in there?
What the hell is building in there?

He has no friends
And you can hear him wail
when he finds another hole
on the chassis rail...
I heard he was working on the
brakes last night night
Administering the last rites
And what are those curses
he's always shouting?....
What's he building in there?
What's he building in there?

We have a right to know...

Bel Air

The Man In Black Removes Harmful Engine Deposits

Murilee Martin — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:00:00 EST

When you're filling up the family wagon and Johnny Cash himself tosses you a bottle of STP, what do you do? No, we don't mean this kind of STP- we mean the fuel additive in the red plastic bottle. Bonus points to anyone who can identify all three vehicles in this ad!

Cash and Caddy: Johnny's Black Cadillac to Be Auctioned

Mike Spinelli — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:24:05 EST

Despite that (or, perhaps, because) our first impression of Johnny Cash was his singing "Dirty Old Egg Suckin' Dog" on the Muppet Show, we grew up to be a fan. We even watched "Walk the Line" on the plane back from the Geneva motor show, while we should have been sleeping off an ill-considered shot of morning courage. Now, one of his Caddys is going up for auction — a 1975 Fleetwood, powered by the "fuck you OPEC" 500ci V8 of the time. It'll be at the Barrett-Jackson Palm Beach 2006 event tomorrow. Oh, and our birthday's coming up.

1975 CADILLAC FLEETWOOD 4 DOOR SEDAN - JOHNNY CASH [Barrett-Jackson]

It's Been Everywhere, Man: Johnny Cash's Tour Bus on eBay

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 14:42:38 EST

It's been to Pittsburgh, Parkersburg, Gravelburg,Colorado, Ellisburg, Rexburg, Vicksburg, Eldorado, Larimore, Adimore, Habastock, Chadanocka, Shasta, Nebraska, Alaska, Opalacka, Baraboo, Waterloo,Kalamazoo,Kansas City, Sioux City, Cedar City, Dodge City... It's Johnny Cash's 1979 MCI tour bus powered by a Detroit Diesel 8V92, and it's on eBay right now. We kinda think the coolest feature is that the walnut in The Man in Black's stateroom is from Johnny's farm in Tennessee, which was used by Ulysses S. Grant as his headquarters durinig the Civil War. Why do we suddenly feel like we need to be in the market for a bus? [Thanks to Allen for the tip.]

79 MCI Johnny Cash Tour Bus, The Real JC Unit One! [eBay Motors]