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Freep's Matt Helms On Bad Driving
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scroggzilla raids again
01/27/09

In reply to Freep's Matt Helms On Bad Driving
Once again, Jalopnik has tricked me. Here's I thought the ghost of Dean Martin had risen from the grave as boozy superspy Matt HELM for tips on how not to spill one's scotch while driving, best cars for picking up Slaygirls, etc

But no, it's just a Motor City area douchenozzle bitchin' about other drivers using a prose style usually associated with high school sophomores. Bummer.

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smalleyxb122
01/27/09

In reply to Freep's Matt Helms On Bad Driving
And why is it that when I pick my nose, it's full again in a few minutes?

And why to they call it "taking a dump" and not "leaving a dump", because if you think about it, you're not really taking it anywhere?

Funk that!
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Tiberiuswise is all ate up with sarcasm
01/27/09

@smalleyxb122: Throwing in a little Carlin.
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scroggzilla raids again
01/27/09

@tiberiuswise: No, I beleive that's Beavis.
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pauljones
01/27/09

@smalleyxb122:

And why is it that when I pick my nose, it's full again in a few minutes?

To give us guys something to do in between sex, meals, and fixing the car. The same goes for earwax and toe jam.

And why to they call it "taking a dump" and not "leaving a dump", because if you think about it, you're not really taking it anywhere?

Actually, where I come from, we call those bombing runs.
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smalleyxb122
01/27/09

@SCROGGZILLA RAIDS AGAIN!!: Beavis, indeed. Doing his impression of Mickey[sic] Rooney. Though I will give partial credit for Carlin, since Beavis' diatribe paraphrased quite blatantly from Carlin's bit about leaving a shit.
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Cognitive Friction
01/27/09

In reply to Freep's Matt Helms On Bad Driving
Nice 200 word article. Does the Freep pay by the syllable?

Matt, those people weren't littering; they were throwing their garbage at you because you bullied them out of the left lane.
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pauljones
01/27/09

In reply to Freep's Matt Helms On Bad Driving
What is it with people who hog the left lane going at or close to the speed limit, not moving to the right until there's a huge gap in traffic - and then speed up as the faster drivers they were backing up try to pass them? I don't get it.

I live in LA, where this is no winter or anything of that nature, and I still have yet to figure this one out. I have, however, figured out that most of these guys don't come out until about a quarter to six in the morning, which suits me just fine as that is about the time I am starting my business day.

The drive home, on the other hand...
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