Jalopnik: Jalopnik Polls

Jalopnik Paris Pissing Match: Honda Insight vs. Toyota Prius

Ray Wert — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:50:00 EDT

OK folks, now that the new Prius-fighter from Honda has officially seen the sheet dropped at the Paris Motor Show early this morning, it's time to ask the important question — which one will win? In one corner, you've got the long-time champion of the hybrid arena. In the other, the pugnacious new Honda Insight, determined to beat the Prius in at least one chart — price. With that, here's the question:

Jon Stewart Shows Us His Kind Of Hybrid, We Ask Which Comedian Is More Jalopnik

Ray Wert — Thu, 01 May 2008 10:40:00 EDT

Remember that whole Stewart-Colbert-O'Brien thing during the writer strike a month ago? Well, it looks like Jon Stewart's still trying to best the competition for most Jalopnik late night host last night on The Daily Show. Apparently, he eschews those fancy-pants hybrids desired by every other Manhattanite in favor of a half-truck and half-dinosaur hybrid. Yup, that's our kind of a ride. But does Robosaurus beat out Conan's SHO Taurus for most Jalopnik ride? Or what about Letterman's small block-infused Volvo? Where does "The Chin" fall? We'll let you decide below the jump.

The Ten Best Post-Apocalyptic Survival Vehicles

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 10:00:00 EST

We asked you what you think the best post-apocalyptic vehicle would be, assuming you could fuel it up and were unable to stay in one place due to the lack of other resources (and likely abundance of radioactive zombies looking for a tasty brain to munch upon). The response we received from commenters was phenomenal. We've culled the comments down to our ten top responses. Some we expected and some we didn't, and we even had a quasi-fictional vehicle thrown in for some fun. After you've had a moment to take a gander at the zombie-fighting machines-o-war below, drop all the way down to the bottom and help us cull the wheat from the proverbial radioactive chaff and determine the ultimate ride for living through the bleak world that awaits us. The very fate of humanity may rest upon your decision.

Earthroamer XV-JP
Though we're partial to the XV-LT, based on the full-sized F550 platform, CSHONTZ makes an excellent point about the zombie-killing ability of the smaller Jeep-based Earthroamer XV-JP. It's got all you need to survive, is quite portable (the only camper to ever cross the Rubicon trail) and contains a top that folds out into a queen-sized bed. You'll just have to get used to using the potty in view of the zombies. [Earthroamer]

Dobbertin Surface Orbiter
What happens when a well known hotrodder puts his tinkering hands to an amphibious vehicle? The Dobbertin Surface Orbiter. Built out of an old milk tanker, the Orbiter was designed to circumnavigate the globe on land and water, which is good for when you're on the move and forced to deal with the suddenly changing seasons that the nuclear fallout will likely bring. And like all good survival vehicles, it comes complete with a kitchen and porta-potti. It nearly made it around the world, but financial problems and an eventual divorce led to the trip getting cut short. Maybe YankBoffin and BlueCoupe would be all over that. [Dobbertin Hydrocar]

Sportsmobile
Commenter Buji already drives his survival vehicle. A more minimalist approach than some of the vehicles featured here, the Sportsmobile 4X4 will cross almost any terrain and still let you bring your equipment, your bail out vehicle (BOV) and camping gear with you. Even better, it can be fitted with a kennel so you can bring your best friend with you. [Sportsmobile]

The Wothahellizat
Certainly winner for the best name, Adidac425 was right to identify the Wothahellizat as one of the all-time great survival vehicles. If the Sportsmobile is minimalist, the Wothahellizat is maximalist. It's a motorhome on wheels, literally. Nature photographer Rob Fray used this to do his work across the Australian continent. The perfect vehicle for when you don't want to leave anything at your underground fallout shelter. [Wothahellizat]

Steeltruck 4x4
According to Froggmann, the Steelwheels truck is ready for when things heat up. Literally. This off-roader is built on the Oshkosh M100 platform used for, among other things, airport crash trucks. With this you can drive into the heart of the zombie queen's lair, rescue your friends, and torch the place, all the while making a delicious meal inside the TGIF-esque interior.
[Steelwheels]

EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle
Though it's a quasi-fictional vehicle, Al Navarro was spot-on with picking the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle from the great American film Stripes. Think about it. Most of the time it looks like your standard issue GMC-based RV with all the included amenities. But with the touch of a button the armor goes down and the missiles come out. It also includes full navigational and communications equipment. If it's good enough for Bill Murray, it's good enough for us. [Cloudster]

Volvo C303
Murph has it right. What do you need an onboard toilet for in a world where global war has rendered societal norms, such as not peeing anywhere, nil. Lacking the complex mechanical and electronic components of some of its colleagues here, the Volvo C303 can be kept running with duct tape and shoe polish. Plus, what's tougher than a big red brick?
[Real4x4]

Sisu XA-185
Who knows more about surviving danger than, well, Dr. Danger? So we'll let the good Dr take this one:
Three important reasons:
1. Mobility: Amphibious 6x6
2. Safety: Zombie proof, also with a mounted NSV machine gun
3. Power Plant: Decent diesel engine (we all know diesel engines are versatile with fuel) [ArmyVehicles.dk]

The Buffalo Force Protection Vehicle
It can crush a Hummer, clear a minefield and keep you safe from grenade-chucking survivors hoping to kill you off as you fight for that last barrel of oil or pool of freshwater. It may not be the most comfortable choice for long trips, but it does come with a space shuttle-like mine raking arm, which JoSCh points out "could skewer a cadre of zombies." Perfect. Oh, and if you pick the right one, it may even transform. [ForceProtection.net]

MaxiMog
It's hard to argue with the MaxiMog, which starts life as the über-capable Mercedes Unimog and gets converted for full survival duty. It's as tough as the Unicat, but comes with a high-performance motorbike BOV, undersea vehicle and a special living trailer. Even better, mehugtree points out that it includes a UAV that can send live images of zombie hordes from up to ten miles away.
[Maximog]

2009 Citroen C3 Minispace: Worst Mule Ever?

Ray Wert — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:45:00 EST

We thought we'd seen the weirdest test unit ever photographed by a spy shooter when we saw the cobbled-together Mini Cooper engineering mule tester from a week ago. We kind of thought that Mini mule beat out our previous worst test mule ever — the Mercedes SLC Mule because really, the SLC was more sweet than craptastic-looking — so we're not even entirely sure we can count it. But now we've gotten this shot of the new Skoda Roomster-competitor, the 2009 Citroen C3 Minispace — and it very well may take the cake for "Worst Mule Ever." But we're so torn between the three — we're going to let you decide via the poll we've got below the jump. Remember, vote early and vote often. Also, if you're looking for a higher-res shot of the 2009 Citroen C3 Minispace Mule, click here.

Jeep JT Concept vs 2008 Corvette Z06: What Should Wert Drive To His High School Reunion?

Ray Wert — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 13:30:00 EST

I was the fat kid in high school. There, I said it. In fact, I was what you'd call "unpopular" — I'd never get invited to the parties, never got the date with the cheerleader and most certainly never drove the cool car. But all that pent-up pain and angst finally has the opportunity to release itself this Saturday with my high school reunion at Como's in Ferndale, MI. You see, a reunion's the perfect place to finally get one's comeuppance on the "cool kids" — whether it's through losing weight, taking the cheerleader with you or driving a cool car. I'll be trying to do all three — but for purposes of our loyal readers here at Jalopnik the a priori issue at hand is the car. And luckily, I happen to, as an auto ~~journalist~~ ~~hack~~ ~~pundit~~ blogger, have a decent number of options in front of me. I've narrowed my choices down to two diametrically opposite vehicles — the Jeep JT concept and the new 2008 Corvette Z06. Now here's the fun part — I want your advice as to what you think I should be rolling up to Como's in and then later today we'll be asking you what car you'd drive if you had unlimited options in a very special high school reunion edition of the Question of the Day. Then on Monday, come back here and we'll find out which one I ended up rolling down Woodward Avenue in and why. For the time being check out the shots below of the two choices and then hit the jump for the poll to help us answer the question at hand:

The Jalopnik Holiday Re-Gift Guide: What's The Worst Auto-Related Gift?

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 13:00:00 EST

We've counted down the worst of the worst in car gifts, from well-meaning packages such as the crappy tool kit, to the outright abortion-of-a-gift that is the Chicken Soup book for people that like NASCAR. But which gift from the ten shown in our Black Friday-celebrating Jalopnik Holiday Re-Gift Guide would send you running back to the store? What gift would send you running for a gun? Basically...

Graphic by: Sherry Kraft