Why you should buy this car:
You want a luxury SUV that isn't blinged out or foreign. Your expectation of what luxury entails is fairly low. You don't like driving but you're too lazy to ride a bicycle. You give money to groups that support eco-friendly candidates but you don't actually vote.

Why you shouldn't buy…

Exterior Design:***
Whereas the platform buddy Ford Escape never manages to look tough enough and the other derivative, the Mazda Tribute, looks like a child with some sort of neurological condition, the Mercury Mariner Hybrid appears exactly as it should. By far the best looking of the trio, the conservative looks…

The full title of this review is "2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part One or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love my Yuppie Ass" but the kicker wouldn't look good on the page. I do my best to pass myself off as anything-but-a-yuppie. Preferring to rock cheap chinos, a hoody and an Astros cap over J. Crew sweater vests…