• Jalopnik
  • spy-photos
  • jalopnik-reviews
  • Profile logout login

#humor

Jalopnik

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #offtopic,
  • #tips,
  • #spyphotos,
  • etc.

Detroit, 9:59 PM
Fri Nov 20
28 posts in the last 24 hours

Contact

Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM

Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email

Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email

Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree

Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla

Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli

Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi

Follow Jalopnik on:
Facebook
Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1753 Subscribers
Jalopnik
  • posts about #humor more →

    Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best

    Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video

    How To Change A Jeep's Tampon

    Colorado DMV Misinterprets Tofu-loving Vegan Vanity Plate

    30 Epic Do-It-Yourself Automotive Fabrication Failures

    Jalopnik Automotive Un-Motivational Poster Mega Gallery

    Fart Magazine: A Bad Case Of Swedish Translation Meatballs

    Shanghai Drift: Changan Mini Delivery Truck For The Win

    Electric Corvette ZR1: You Know, For Environmentally Responsible Guys

    Monkey + Mini Bike = Priceless Hours Of Fun
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Ted Hamilton Ted Hamilton
    05/17/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    Any duo that "affectionately" refers to a Dodge Dart can't be all that bad...


    And the credits at the end of the show are classic.


    Legal Advice given by: Duey Cheetham and Howe...
    Vacation Planner: Mirasmus B. Draggon

     Reply
    Ted Hamilton was starred Ted Hamilton was unstarred
    Image of Ben Wojdyla Ben Wojdyla
    05/17/09

    @Ted Hamilton: I believe you're looking for:


    Head of Working Mother Support Group: Erasmus B. Dragon

     Reply
    Ben Wojdyla was starred Ben Wojdyla was unstarred
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    The only "healing" brakes can do is scrape off rust on the friction surface.
     Reply
    Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    I love it.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    I only recently found out that the "brake" dash indicator also warns for the clutch. Randy was having trouble engaging reverse on his 5-speed. The next day he comes home and says, "oh, great! Now the 'brake' light is lit". Brakes were fine, but the fluid level needed topping up.
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of Wrathernaut Wrathernaut
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    After pestering a guy to change his brakes for months, he asked, "The screeching stopped, does that mean it's ok now?" They were so worn down that the screech tab had broken off. The rivets in the pad were making grooves in his rotors.


    $400 later, I think he's learned his lesson.

     Reply
    Wrathernaut was starred Wrathernaut was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    05/16/09

    @Wrathernaut: My old man did the same thing once, to the point where the car was deemed too unsafe for me ride in. In my mother's infinite wisdom, she decided it was cheaper to trade in the five-year-old Toyota rather than pay for $500 in brake work.


    It's a wonder I have any common sense at all.

     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    While I usually can't stand Randall's penchant for doing what's been done better before and his occasional utter creepiness, there are a few occasions on which xkcd really shines.


    This is one of them.

     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    05/16/09

    @A stʁolling playeʁ: I mean, like, seriously. Who saw my Facebook status this morning?
     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing
    05/16/09

    @A stʁolling playeʁ:

    I saw it but it didn't register. Now that I've seen this cartoon's reference to Car Talk, I gotta ask if you've picked up some voodoo clairvoyance in the Big Easy...?
     Reply
    Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was starred Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    05/16/09

    In reply to Of The Potential Responses To My Brakes' Failure, I Did Not Choose The Best
    I try to use the brakes only when necessary. When I'm driving down the road, and I see a light up ahead, I just put the car into neutral and let it coast. I usually just lightly tap the brakes so it stops and I'm all good. This doesn't work in downtown Toronto, however, especially during rush hour. (every hour)
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd.
    05/16/09

    @CoЯiolis Eff Smites You With The PoweЯ of BuЯbeЯЯy:

    The most effective way to brake in dt T is to use cabbies. They're usually braking hard enough they can slow a couple cars.
     Reply
    The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. was starred The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. was unstarred
    Image of AngryChineseDriver -- R.I.P., Audi R8 Decepticon AngryChineseDriver -- R.I.P., Audi R8 Decepticon
    05/17/09

    @The Dead In Side Group of Companies Ltd: You're a Torontonian, too?? Heart-click!
     Reply
    AngryChineseDriver -- R.I.P., Audi R8 Decepticon was starred AngryChineseDriver -- R.I.P., Audi R8 Decepticon was unstarred
    Image of The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd.
    05/17/09

    @AngryChineseDriver -- R8 > Megan Fox:

    Used to live in the worst hood dt and commute dt/Gardiner/427.
     Reply
    The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. was starred The Dead Inside Grp. Co. Ltd. was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    05/17/09

    @The Dead In Side Group of Companies Ltd: I live in Rexdale. On Jane st. near Finch. There's a huge housing project there. Carjackings everyday.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    truTV has quite a recipe for success--get free clips from YouTube or news, get D--no, F-listers to make comments that last longer than the video; show video snippet 10 times, half in slow motion. Then "preview" upcoming yucks with little snippets.

    Cut to commercial.

    Come back--repeat the video you just showed. "So far we've seen..." (replay all videos)and coming up next--preview snippets.

    Roll video...
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    That third guy makes us college students look bad.


    We don't all drive Escape hybrids!

     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    Everyday I enjoy the view of one of my neighbors parking her car.. she has a small car and the spaces are large, but every time she manages to get it wrong, and again and again.. It takes her at least 5 minutes to park her car, everyday. I should set up a webcam for her.

    btw this is the same neighbor that takes her car to the gym, the gym being a 3 minute walk from here... of course in the gym she uses the walking machine.. sometimes I really want to slap her in the face and shout "you are a f#cking stupid cow" in her face...


    ps she is a perfectly healthy person.

     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05/14/09

    @sos10: I watched a person try to back out of a spot. Well, yes, it was a female. And she clearly didn't understand which way the ass end of the car goes when you turn the steering wheel to the right, for example.

    It was a very painful but hilarious lesson in the trial and error empirical approach to problem solving. We all stopped to see how long it would take. Easily 10 minutes to back out of a simple parking place, nose in.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    Side note: the first two clips both have Beetles. And in both cases, the Beetles are the best part.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    Adam's truck just wanted to Escape from him. Almost succeeded, too.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Triborough Triborough
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    truTV? Must be one of those channels I don't have programmed in since they are absolute rubbish.
     Reply
    Triborough was starred Triborough was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05/14/09

    @Triborough: Count your blessings.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    Man, in my opinion? #3 is doing something right. He is the chillest dude I've seen since The Dude himself.
     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    05/14/09

    @A stʁolling playeʁ:

    I hear a cachunck cachunck

    I'll dream with this tonight.
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of FrankGrimes FrankGrimes
    05/14/09

    In reply to Five Worst Parking Jobs Caught On Video
    hilarious. The comedians commentary...annoying.
     Reply
    FrankGrimes was starred FrankGrimes was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    05/14/09

    @FrankGrimes: At least I can sleep tight now knowing that Danny Bonaduce still has a career out there...somewhere.
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jalopnik account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.