Assess...

...Your Risk
Hurricanes rarely appear out of nowhere and modern forecasting technology typically gives citizens days to prepare. If you live in an area on or near the Atlantic Coast or the Gulf of Mexico, it's possible that you are at risk. If you live hundreds of miles inland, like in Oklahoma, you don't need to worry. Michigan? Yeah, probably not an issue for you either. Check with your local Office of Emergency Management or state government for information about whether your house is within an evacuation zone. Below are examples of hurricane evacuation maps:

• South Carolina Evacuation Zones
• Southeast Texas
• Louisiana (PDF)
• Florida

...Your Threat
If it appears that a hurricane could head your way in a few days resist the urge to immediately panic. A storm deep in the Atlantic could take as long as a week to reach the United States coast after being named. Check with the National Hurricane Center, your local weather forecasters, newspapers and television to see how likely the threat really is and the timing of the storm.

Prepare...

...Your Vehicle
The stress of an evacuation isn't just felt by your family. It is also felt by your car. Make sure that your vehicle is in good operating condition, fueled up and able to drive at least a few hundred miles. Things you'll need:

• A full tank of gas
• Insurance information and maps
• Properly inflated tires with a spare tire
• Phone charger
• Functioning A/C (very important, especially when traveling with elderly or children. Also, if you have to turn off your car to save gas you'll want to cool down when you get moving again)
• Flashlight
• Money, specifically cash, to fill up your car multiple times

...Your Family & Pets
During the Rita and Katrina evacuations there were families that spent nearly a day in their cars, with an average time on the road of over 10 hours for Rita. Think about what your family and pets need to survive for at least one day in a car and possibly for multiple days on the road. This list below is just a start and may vary based on the age and special needs of the people traveling.

• Water
• Ice in a cooler if possible (it gets hot)
• Non-perishable food, snacks
• Toiletries
• Clothing
• Blankets and pillows
• Music, games, cards and anything else to distract yourself and others
• Toilet Paper — you may have to go on the road
• Sanitary gel like Purell, see above
• Medications
• Pet items such as a leash

...Your Documents
As opposed to merely driving off for a regular road trip, leaving your home during an evacuation means, God forbid, you may not have anything to return to and you may have to register with the government for help or seek medical care. These are the basic documents you will need, though you should also consider other important information.

• Drivers license and Social Security card for all those traveling
• Health insurance information
• A copy of your homeowner's/renter's policy, just in case
• Certificate of vaccination for pets, in case you have to board your pet or enter a shelter
• Photos of your house if you have time

...Your House
Assuming that you aren't suddenly caught off guard by the storm, it is important to protect your house from damage and secure items like patio furniture that could turn into missiles during a storm. The National Hurricane Center has a great guide outlining how to secure doors and windows.

Plan...

...Your Routes
Every coastal state has their own evacuation route that shows, for the area, the best way to evacuate. These are large highways built to handle large traffic loads and, typically, designed to be adjusted for hurricanes. Unfortunately, during a mass evacuation these roads can become crowded and it may be better to take a different route. Assuming you have the option you should plan multiple ways of escape.

Try to avoid smaller roads you don't know well, since construction, flooding and other hazards can slow you down. Always prioritize official hurricane routes first because these are the areas where emergency personal will set up relief stations with fuel and water. In some situations, local officials will set up contraflow lanes in order to alleviate traffic, something that won't happen on other roads. During storms, most local authorities will waive tolls on toll roads and open up all of those lanes.

Examples of state evacuation routes:

• Florida
• South Carolina
• Virginia
• North Carolina (PDF)
• Texas
• Louisiana

...Your Final Destination
With a hurricane on your doorstep your first instinct is to get away, often with little concern as to where you are actually going. If you have family nearby — but further inland in a place that is safe from storms — then that is often the best place to stay. There's no need to spend a day on the road if there is a safe location just hours away.

If you have no friends or family to stay with, consider, as early as possible, booking an affordable hotel safely inland from where you are. You may have to try for a while as hotels along the route are quickly booked. If you can't find a place to stay or can't afford a hotel, the Red Cross and other organizations will set up shelters during a major storm. Check the radio for shelter locations.

...Your Departure Criteria
One of the biggest challenges for emergency planners is the presence of "shadow evacuation" situations, when a large mass of people who do not need to evacuate suddenly do, clogging up the roads for those who really need to get out. If you live far inland in a well-built structure in an area that rarely floods, then you may not need to evacuate from the path of a weak storm.

Consider the threshold for when you stay and when you go so that you avoid panic when a storm gets closer. Meteorologists use the Saffir-Simpson scale to determine the strength of the storm. Is it safe for you to stay during a Category 1 storm? What about a Category 3 storm? Check with local authorities to see what, if any, threshold your area may already have in place.

If local authorities order a voluntary or mandatory evacuation then you need to go as quickly and as safely as possible.

React...

...Quickly To The Threat
If an evacuation is ordered or it seems likely that your threshold for evacuation is going to be reached soon, quickly gather your friends, family and safety material. Something important to look for is a hurricane watch or a hurricane warning.

A hurricane watch means hurricane-type conditions are likely within the next 24 to 36 hours. A hurricane warning means conditions are likely within 24 hours. If you are within a hurricane watch and the storm is stronger than you think you can safely handle, then that's a good indicator that you should leave.

...Carefully To Sudden Changes
Forecasters have gotten much better at predicting landfall for hurricanes and traffic planners have gotten much better at preparing roads for mass evacuations, but that doesn't mean either are perfect. Listen closely to the weather radio and news because the path of the storm might change and you could find yourself driving somewhere that's in the path of the storm.

Before Hurricane Alicia, our family fled from the south Texas coast to Houston to avoid the storm. When we arrived we found out that the storm had changed directions and was now heading towards Houston. Thankfully, the place we were staying was far enough inland to be safe.

During the Hurricane Rita evacuation we were following our planned route north when the radio announced that all toll lanes had been opened for the remainder of the evacuation. We were able to change our route and likely saved at least an hour in travel.

...Calmly When Confronted With Traffic And Communication Failures
Traffic is going to happen. There's just no getting around it unless you leave exceptionally early or the storm is minor. If you have a properly prepared car, you've considered all the routes and everyone in the vehicle can stand the trip then the best option might be to just continue forward as opposed to turning back or wildly deviating from your safe routes. Listen to the radio for guidance on how to avoid traffic or to get time estimates.

With everyone on the roads and jumping on their cell phones at once it is possible that it may be difficult to get through when the service is overwhelmed. We learned during Rita that, typically, text messages will get through when phone calls will not. If it isn't an emergency message try talking with people via messaging.

Return...

...Only When Cleared By Authorities
Once the storm has passed your instinct is going to be to race back home to see how your property fared. If your area took a direct hit it may not be safe to do so. There may be no power, no water, destroyed bridges and standing flood water waiting for you. Your authorities will tell you when it is safe to return.

...With An Eye For Debris & Water
Once you've been cleared to return home there may still be debris on the road. Be a vigilant driver and watch out for downed trees, debris and especially be wary of fallen power lines. One of the more frequent indirect storm deaths involves individuals driving over power lines and electrocuting themselves. If you see high water also be careful and turn around, don't drown.

Other Resources

This is a brief guide meant to get you thinking about what to do when hurricanes threaten your area. Your local news media and authorities will know better about your local situation and you know best as to what you can and cannot do before a storm. Rash decisions are often bad decisions. The more preparation you make the less likely you are to be in a situation where you'll make a rash decision.

Links

• FEMA Evacuation Guide
• Red Cross Evacuation Plans
• Nola.com tips from evacuees
• Disaster Planning For Elderly And Special Needs

[Photo Credit: STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images, Evacuation From Hurricane Rita]

Ford is rightfully touting their research, but they're also being realistic about its applications: The chances of converting even a small fraction of the general public into eco-drivers is slim. Fleet drivers are another matter, however: Since driving is their job, they can be trained and incentivized toward eco-driving. To that end, Ford recently imported several instructors from its German eco-driving training center to help train Ford fleet drivers. Curt Magleby, Ford's director of Governmental Affairs, explains:

We are talking with fleet owners first, because they have large numbers of vehicles and drivers that could realize significant benefit from such training. Ultimately, all drivers can benefit from practicing eco-driving, and one day it may be considered mandatory as part of all new drivers training.

New driver's training? Can someone tell him we don't do things like that over here.

[Green Car Congress]

1. Slow down and watch speed - Drive 55 miles per hour instead of 65 to save fuel. The EPA estimates a 10-15 percent improvement in fuel economy by following this tip. Also, aim for a constant speed. Pumping the accelerator sends more fuel into the engine. Using cruise control whenever possible on the highway helps maintain speeds and conserve fuel.

Exception: You're in a hurry because you have places to be and better things to do than drone along in the slow lane, not to mention the speed limit on the highway is 70 MPH and if you did drive 55, you'd likely be paying more to have your rear bumper replaced than you would ever save in fuel costs. [image]

2. Accelerate and brake smoothly - Accelerating smoothly from a stop and braking softly conserves fuel. Fast starts, weaving in and out of traffic and hard braking wastes fuel and wears out some of the car components, such as brakes and tires, more quickly. Maintain a safe distance between vehicles and anticipate traffic conditions to allow for more time to brake and accelerate gradually.

Exception: The idiots on the road during your commute cut you off for no reason, and when you do finally get off the expressway of death, the pedestrians and cyclists in the city are all suicidal maniacs. You'd like to go easy on the brakes and just ram into them, but manslaughter doesn't appeal to you.

3. No idling - Today's engines don't need a warm up. Start the car immediately and gently drive away. Don't leave your car idling. Prolonged idling increases emissions and wastes fuel. Turn the engine off in non-traffic situations, such as at bank and fast food drive-up windows, when idling more than 30 seconds.

Exception: You car doesn't have one of these magical "today's engines." If you don't warm it up, you leave a cloud of blue smoke in front of your house so thick that the vegetation in your front lawn dies off.

4. Check your tires - Keep tires properly inflated to the recommended tire pressure. This alone can reduce the average amount of fuel use by 3-4 percent. Under-inflated tires increase rolling resistance and reduce fuel economy. They also wear more rapidly. Check the vehicle's door-post sticker for minimum cold tire inflation pressure.

Exception: You're drag racing your muscle car, so you take some pressure out of the rears. Perhaps you're rock-crawling or sand dune-climbing in your Jeep, so you need to let pressure out of all fours. Maybe your junky old beater won't go down the road straight unless you've got the front left tire 5 PSI lower than the right side.

5. Be kind to your vehicle - Maintain proper engine tune-up to keep vehicles running efficiently. Keep the wheels aligned. Wheels that are fighting each other waste fuel. Replace air filters as recommended. Use a fuel with good detergent additives to keep the vehicle engine clean and performing efficiently. Always consult the Owner's Manual for proper maintenance.

Exception: Your car is a $500 lump of metal held together by zip-ties and drunken welding. Your idea of proper maintenance is opening up the distributor and taking a blow-dryer to the points on humid days. Your suspension is falling apart, so the alignment varies based on how hard you took that last corner. Your air filter is a piece of wire mesh. It's not worth it to be nice to this beast.

6. Travel light - Avoid piling a lot of luggage on the roof rack. The added frontal area reduces aerodynamics and will hurt fuel economy, reducing it by as much as 5 percent. Remove excess weight from the vehicle. Unnecessary weight, such as unneeded items in the trunk, makes the engine work harder and consumes more fuel.

Exception: You have 5 people going on a cross-country vacation in your midsize car. On top of that, you've decided to go tent camping each night rather than staying in hotels.

7. Minimize use of heater and air conditioning - Use heating and air conditioning selectively to reduce the load on the engine. Decreasing your usage of the air conditioner when temperatures are above 80 degrees can help you save 10-15 percent of fuel. Use the vent setting as much as possible. Park in the shade to keep car cool and reduce the need for air conditioning.

Exception: It's swelteringly scorching outside and you really don't want to have your entire back drenched with perspiration, so you need the air conditioning on. Or perhaps it's numbingly frigid outside and you really don't want to experience what frostbite is like, so you need the heater on. [image]

8. Close windows at high speeds - Don't drive with the windows open unless you keep your speed under 50 mph. Driving with the windows open at highways speeds increases aerodynamic drag on the vehicle and lowers fuel economy.

Exception: The air conditioning in your beater has long been broken. The two remaining settings on your climate control are "hot air screaming out of the vents" and "hot air seeping out from the dashboard." If you don't open the window, it is only a matter of time before you die of heat stroke. Not to mention that you can't holla' at the ladies through a sheet of glass. [image]

9. Choose the right oil - Use good quality, energy-conserving EC oils with the viscosity grade recommended in the Owner's Manual. Look for cans marked with the symbol ECII, which is the American Society of Testing Materials logo for fuel-efficient oils.

Exception: Your car self-changes its oil by leaking and burning so much that you just pour in a quart of fresh oil every week or so. You save money by buying the cheapest generic oil you can find. Not to mention your car has so many miles that if you use anything thinner than 15W-50, you can practically hear the piston rings grinding, so the viscosity recommended in the manual just won't cut it.

10. Consolidate trips - Plan ahead to consolidate your trips. This will enable you to bypass congested routes, lead to less idling, fewer start-ups and less stop-and-go traffic. Whenever feasible, share a ride and/or carpool.

Exception: Your hectic schedule is constantly varying from day to day. You have no idea where you'll be or what you'll be doing 5 hours from now. You like driving alone by yourself because you need some time each day to regain some sanity. For that matter, sometimes you go out driving for no reason at all, because — gasp — you derive tremendous pleasure from the act of driving.

[tips via Ford]

For this example, we'll be using the 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, but the essential procedure can be applied to any number of slushbox-equipped RWD vehicles. Once you've mastered the technique, feel free to make your own video to show us all what you've learned. If you'd like some examples, check out our Corvette ZR1 burnout video, or this slow-motion Ford Mustang burnout video.

Photo Credit: Alex C. Conley

First of all, the IRS lets you determine the amount of your deductible car expense using one of two methods: the standard mileage rate method or the actual expense method. To use the standard mileage rate there's a variety of tests you need to meet, but they're all pretty straightforward — you must own or lease the car; the car must not be used for hire, for example as a taxi; you must not operate five or more cars at the same time, as in a fleet operation; etc. To use the actual expense method, you must determine what it actually costs to operate the car for business purposes. Include gas, oil, repairs, tires, insurance, registration fees, licenses, and depreciation (or lease payments) attributable to business miles driven.

Because of the recent rate change, it's probably more relevant for us to talk about method, but the IRS suggests you should run the numbers both ways to see which offers the greater deduction. Since we'll be using the standard mileage rate method, here's the straightforward calculation to use:

# Of Miles x $0.585 = Deduction Amount

Two more things to note are that the IRS allows other car expenses for parking fees, and tolls attributable to business use as separately deductible, whether you use the standard mileage rate or actual expenses. The other notable is more like a tip — document everything. You're dealing with the government here, so make sure you supply enough paperwork to convince them that even if you're gaming the system, you're at least doing it meticulously. Photographs are essential, along with trip dates, times, distances, destinations, persons spoken with and on what business.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get on to the fun part. For purposes of this hypothetical scenario we're going to be using a 2003 Saab 9-5, mainly because we happen to have one lying around. Purchased used, this vehicle has a monthly payment of approximately $300. Add on the insurance and annual registration fees, and we're talking about $350 a month. All we'll need to do is add on the cost of gas for the month at the end to determine whether we'll be able to deduct all of our costs.

So — can we get the man to pay? Let's find out.

Example I: Visit co-workers you wouldn't ordinarily see: DEDUCTIBLE

Keeping in touch is essential, so when phone, IM, email and videoconferencing aren't enough, get in the car and go see your peers. A monthly trip to Chicago from Detroit and back to see Mr. Hardigree is worth 570 miles. That would be:

570 miles x $0.585 per mile = $333.45

Two days in and we're already two-thirds of the way to our goal — this may be easier than we thought.

Example II: Find ways to make work-related trips secondarily personal: DEDUCTIBLE

An empty car is your worst enemy, since it's much harder to claim a business-related expense when you're traveling alone. In our case, a 30-mile one-way trip to help a friend wrench on his old Buick could have been a loss. But the addition of a couple essential tools and a camera resulted in both a story for Jalopnik and the line item "photo shoot location and back." Total miles: 60. That means:

60 miles x $0.585 per mile = $35.10

Example III: A quick stop on a personal trip: NOT DEDUCTIBLE

Here's an instance where you can't score big. We like to visit a gorgeous little cold water destination known as Traverse City, MI a couple times each summer. At nearly 500 miles round trip from Detroit, the journey can get pricey these days...but even if we stop along the way to take photographs of car dealerships for a future Jalopnik feature, we can't deduct those 490 miles. Such a shame.

0 miles x $0.585 per mile = $0.00

Example IV: Buy your personal goods when you head out to buy work-related supplies: PARTIALLY DEDUCTIBLE

The key here for a full deduction is to make them all at one place. Heading to Dick's for more shotgun shells with a stopover at Staples for those pens for work? Only a partial deduction of the 10 miles from Staples to Dick's or from home to Staples — but not the 10 miles between Dick's and home. However, let's say we're working on a story on brakes. We head to the convenience store 40 miles away that carries pints of brake fluid for 30% less than the place near home to save Nick Denton a few bucks, and we also buy personal groceries? That's fully deductible. Total miles deductible: 90.

90 miles x $0.585 per mile = $52.65

The Bottom Line

If you've got your graphing calculator humming, you'll see we could have racked up 1,210 miles with 650 of those miles reimbursable, for a total of $421.20. But how much gas did we use? Well, we get an average of 25 MPG in the Saab. Divide 1,210 miles by 25 MPG and we purchased 48.4 gallons of mid-grade gas. At $4.10 a gallon average for mid-grade at the station down the block, that's a fuel cost of $198.44. Add that to the $350 and you'll see that we needed $548.44. Aww, just a little too little business driving this month to pick up the entire cost.

Still, that would have paid for the Saab's car note, insurance, and a little something leftover for a few gallons. Sort of. Remember, your deductions aren't like real cash, so you're really just able to say the money you spent was spent without federal taxes, not like it's that full amount back in your pocket. So what did we learn today? Drive more for business than you do for pleasure, and you'll still probably end up getting screwed in the end — but at least you'll get screwed less!

For more information, please check either IRS Publication 463 or check with a tax accountant. (Photo Credit: StreetsBlog.org/Flickr via Jenny Lokshin)

6. Fit A Locking Gas Cap

Instructions: Drive an older vehicle with a gas cap and fuel door that don't lock? Aftermarket replacements that do lock are available from most car part stores. Make sure you select one that's designed for your vehicle; this is crucial for safety, security and emissions. Can't find one? Rivet a hasp and padlock onto the fuel door.
Pros: Cheap, simple and effective at making lazy gas thieves think twice about choosing your vehicle for fuel pilfering.
Cons: Doesn't protect you from a thief who isn't lazy and happens to be handy with a lock pick.

5. Swap Diesel And Gas Badges

Instructions: Drive a gasoline-powered car? Swap out all the exterior clues for diesel badges, and don't forget the sticker inside the fuel door. Some vehicles may require a different colored fuel filler. Own a diesel? Do the opposite.
Pros: Cost efficient. Could permanently disable thief's vehicle, encouraging them to go straight.
Cons: Bad for forgetful people. Lending your car to friends could prove expensive. You lose all the cache the original stickers brought. Getting the goo off can be a bitch when it comes time to sell.

4. Don't Use Gas At All; Buy An Alternative Energy Vehicle
Instructions: Segway, Tesla, bicycle: pick your poison. By choosing a means of transportation that doesn't use gas, not only do you become immune to fuel theft, but rising prices too.
Pros: Not having gas that can be stolen eliminates risk of fuel theft. Hippie chicks will dig you.
Cons: Thieves may just steal your vehicle instead. May lower street cred. Hippies don't shave.

3. Remove Your Gas At Night, Store Inside
Instructions: Simply siphon or drain your fuel into jerry cans every time you park. An empty tank means thieves will have no fuel to steal. Store in a safe — and preferably — well ventilated area.
Pros: Sleep safe in the knowledge that your gas is where it's safest: underneath your mattress.
Cons: Sleep may last a very long time due to fumes. Siphoning or draining each and every night can be time intensive. Thieves attempting to drill an empty tank may encounter an explosive surprise.

2. Booby Trap Your Car
Instructions: Mad Max got a lot of things right: First and foremost is a man's right to protect what's his by any means necessary. Wire dynamite to explode should your vehicle be tampered with, but don't forget to include a secret switch to disarm the explosives. Keeping a machete strapped near the switch can provide a way out should you be forced to disarm the booby trap at gunpoint. A "This vehicle is booby-trapped" sticker may be a good idea.
Pros: Really sticks it to the thieves. Street cred.
Cons: Total vehicle loss is an expensive theft deterrent. Risk of accidental detonation is high. Possible legal and liability concerns.

1. Up-Armor Your Vehicle
Instructions: Gather large amounts of thick metal plate (3/4" should do) and liberally weld it all over your vehicle. Don't forget to cover the underside, and leave slits for vision and/or chainsaws.
Pros: In addition to protecting your gas tank, you'll be protecting yourself from IEDs. Deters tailgaters.
Cons: The extra fuel needed to haul around all the armor plate may negate any savings. Negative impact on resale value.

There you have it. We've showed you how to take someone else's gas and how to protect it once you pour it into your tank. You'll probably be okay as long as you practice the basics: Park in a well-lit area at night. Don't drive around with the fuel door open and gas cap missing. And remember that no system, however ill-conceived, can stop a determined thief.

For starters — unless you're running evenly-matched top fuel dragsters against each other what you'll do down at your local drag strip isn't actually "drag racing." It's really called "bracket racing" which is a form of drag racing that allows for a handicap between predicted speed of the two cars running side-by-sde. Basically, it means that even if you're running your mom's Honda Odyssey on the strip, you can still win running next to a Ford Mustang GT because of a premium placed on consistency of performance of the driver and car rather than on raw speed. With that said, here's the official "How To"

Step 1: Pay Up

Drag racing ain't free. The first step, once you've arrived at the dragway, is to pay the folks in charge. Different classes carry different charges, so it's a good idea to call ahead and find out how much you'll be paying. Once you've paid for entry and track fees, proceed to the pits

Step 2: Park and Unload

Pit areas vary wildly. You'll find everything from beautifully laid concrete marked with trailer lanes to muddy grass perfect for sinking into. If you've brought your drag toy in a trailer or plan on working on your car there, it makes a lot of sense to show up early and get a prime piece of real estate — it can make the difference between a comfy dry weekend and a messy pain in the ass. if you've just driven in, take all your junk out of the car and give it a once over. Make sure it meets all the safety requirements of the class you're running in and give it a little clean-up.

Step 3: Inspection

Now it's time to take your car over to the inspection booth. These guys are here to make sure the car you brought won't pose a danger to either you or the rest of the race field. They'll go through your ride with a fine-toothed comb and point out things sub-par, or they'll give you the thumbs-up. When your car has passed, you'll get a color-coded inspection sticker proving you're safe to run. Another thing they'll do is have you fill out your race card. The race card is where you declare the class you'll be running in, your personal info, details on the car, and whatever other details you think the commentator in-booth might like to know about when adding "color to the strip."

Step 4: Wait

After you have your car all approved and registered, return to the pit area and wait. It takes a while for the rest of your competitors to make it through the process you just did. The track crew also has to prepare the surface for maximum stickiness, and, in general, everybody just has to get up and get going. So while you wait, put your number on the car, maybe do a little decorating, take a nap, do a little tuning on your car, check out the competition, have some track food, or just hang out and enjoy the breeze. But keep your ear listening out for your class, because there's nothing worse than hearing an announcement of your license plate and that your car's being towed. That's not the kind of dragging you're here for.

Step 5: Practice.

When the time is right (usually a scheduled time), the track will open for practice. This is an open competition lineup where you pull through the staging lanes and give your rig a try. Drag racing is a lot trickier than you might think. It's easy to mash the gas and go quick on the street, but when the clock is running, it's a lot more technical, so practice makes perfect. In fact, let's go to video:

This was my third run, so I'd gotten the jitters of the first time down the track through and I was starting to learn how to react and launch. As you can see, you get slotted in lanes. Each lane is numbered and corresponds to a staging path. When you enter the staging area, a track official will ask your class and point you into the lane. This track has three staging lanes, and each lane is divided into two sides. There's a lane 1L and 1R, 2L and 2R, etc., for lane one, left side, lane one, right side, and so on. As cars ahead of you move up, you pull forward. When the track official waves you forward along with your running buddy, you have to make a choice: to burnout or not to burnout.

Ahead of the starting line there's a concrete pad called the "water box." Track hands hose it down with water to make burnouts fun and easy. The purpose of the burnout is to clean the crud off your tires and heat 'em up for maximum stickiness. A standing burnout doesn't make much sense if you're running street tires, so either drive around the box to avoid wet tires, or just do a peel out to get the funk off.

Next, you pull up to the line. Make sure your helmet is strapped on tight, traction control is off, and the windows are up. As you advance, there are two sets of staging lights — called by some the "Christmas tree" — your tires need to be between them before the Christmas tree lights will start. Advance the car 'till the first set of lights goes on, then slowly move forward until the second set lights up — then carefully inch forward until the second set turns back off. A this point you've found the front of the lights, and you need to back up just enough to turn that second set on again. Now wait for your opponent to do the same.

When you're both set to go, make sure your car is in the forward gear of your liking. Hold the engine at optimum RPM and pay attention to the Christmas tree. Depending on your class, the tree works differently. For bracket racing, they use a "five hundred tree" or a set of lights that takes half a second to go from yellow to green. For this tree, it's recommended to launch as the final yellow light goes off in order to achieve a decent reaction time. If you jump the gun, you "foul," and your run, no matter how good, doesn't count for squat.

So the lights go and you're off. In a manual tranny car, carefully watch the tachometer and know where your shift points and engine cutoff are at. Shift as quickly and accurately as possible. If you're driving an automatic, just mash the gas and point the car in the right direction.

In this run, I managed a 0.67 s reaction time, which isn't great, but far better than the 1.01 s. the other guy got. And, due to the magical vaugeness of the Hurst short-throw shifter on this car, I managed to hit second gear instead of fourth — not what you want when shifting at almost a hundred miles an hour. Nonetheless, despite my supercharged GT being at a 140 HP disadvantage to the GT500 car and me stinking up the shift, I only lost by 0.8012 seconds with a 14.29 time. This is why it's called practice.

After you've crossed the finish line and are all excited, don't forget to slow down. You've got to make the turn off the track and go to pick up your time slip. This will tell you what just happened so you can critique your performance, think about ways you can improve and have bragging rights back at the pits.

Step 6: Qualifying
Like above — do what you just did in practice, but do it better because this time it counts. In qualifying, your times are used to slot you in your class brackets — when bracket racing, the important part isn't speed, it's consistency. If you can run 13.9 all day every day, you'll do very well in your class. Why? Because bracket racing uses offset timing on the lights to equalize fast cars against slower ones. Speedy cars will be delayed at the line and have to catch up and pass to win.

Step 7: Mark Your Dial-In Time

Dial-in time is that great equalizing figure we just talked about. After you've made a couple runs, you should get an idea of how fast you go. This time gets written on your windows so the tower workers can read them and put them in the timing computer. In this way, the race is offset on the fly. Depending on the class, you may or may not be able to change your number as you go. The important thing about your dial-in time is not to go faster than that time — otherwise you "break out." The break-out exists to prevent guys from saying they're slower than they are and effectively cheating to victory. Now is it becoming clearer why consistency is all-important?

Step 8: Have fun!
Now sit back and relax while listening for the track announcer to call your class. As you're called, proceed to the staging lanes and the track workers will assign you a lane and your opponent will line up next to you. When you're at the line just remember the lessons from earlier in the day and be careful to race against yourself, not the guy in the other lane. That's a great way to lose your concentration and mess up.

Here's a run from the first round of our bracket, where everything clicked and I won against a Shelby GT. The other fellow wrote up a dial-in time substantially lower than mine and couldn't quite make up the ground. A little longer track and he would have had me. But how fast was I? Pretty decent with a 0.31 s reaction time (which doesn't matter in bracket racing — only the time from light-to-light counts) and 13.95 second quarter-mile at 100 MPH. Far from my best run though.

So there you have it folks. How to drag race. We found out although it's still easier than running 'round the windy stuff, it's a lot more difficult than just pointing the car down a track and hitting the gas. We recommend checking out some of the events in your area, if not to race, then at least as a spectator.

5. Siphoning Fuel From Someone Else's Tank

Pros: Being able to pick the location, secluded is best. The ability to directly target your enemies. Relatively simple and cheap.
Cons: No way to check how much fuel is in the tank before you decide to steal it. Applying suction by mouth may result in severe vomiting, recurring nightmares, cancer, addiction.
Instructions: Insert a small, stiff pipe into a vehicle's gas tank. Apply suction. When fuel starts to flow, place pipe exit below tank height and fill jerry can.

4. The Old Switcheroo

Pros: No special tools or knowledge needed (except a midget or small child).
Cons: Requires a relatively advanced level of grifting, limited time means you probably won't get away with a full tank. Risk of confrontation is high.
Instructions: Simply create a distraction while your assistant swaps someone's paid-for pump into your own tank.

3. RFID Hacking

Pros: Non-confrontational. Little physical effort required. Perfect for nerds.
Cons: Requires a high-level tech know-how. It's a felony offense. High up-front equipment cost.
Instructions: Many gas stations offer SpeedPass-style pay-by-RFID. Unlike RFID cloning a credit card, the encryption ciphers in these cards are vulnerable to a brute force attack. Crack the code and give yourself free gas for life.

2. Siphoning On An Industrial Scale

Pros: The economies of scale. Relatively stealthy. High profit margins.
Cons: Requires the possession and subsequent modification of a large trailer. Penalties are commiserate with the scale of the theft.
Instructions: Pull a trailer fitted with a trap door, a large tank and a pump over a gas station's underground reservoir. While you pretend to make repairs under the hood, have an assistant open the trailer's trap door, insert a pipe down into the reservoir and then pump out the gas.

1. Pump Hacking

Pros: The ability to fill up multiple vehicles. Very stealthy. Once learned, this is a skill with near universal applicability.
Cons: Requires specialist knowledge and tools.
Instructions: Details are murky, but it appears that fuel pump service tools are making their way into thieves' hands. Get your hands on such a device, the technical know how to use it, exploit the system.

-1. Drilling Gas Tanks

Pros: Any idiot with a drill can do it.
Cons: Spark, fire, death, destruction. Permanently damages another person's vehicle, and that's just wrong.
Instructions: Climb under car with drill, make hole, slide container under cascade of highly flammable liquid. Best to avoid open flames, static electricity, cell phones, electric drills.

*Note: Gasoline is most flammable as a vapor. By drilling a tank, you're removing a liquid while leaving behind vapor. Vapor will also permeate the area around the vehicle. Even if you manage to avoid setting yourself on fire, there's always a chance the car may blow up when the owner tries to start it. Killing people is bad.

MORE "I FEEL GASSY" STORIES:

• Ten Fuel-Efficient Used Cars You Can Buy Today!
• Top Seven Fuel-Efficient Summer Road Trip Cars You Can't Buy Here...But Wish You Could
• Seven Ways To Save On Gas This Memorial Day Weekend
• America Feels Gassy: The United States Of Memorial Day Gas Prices
• Detroit Gas War Turns Deadly, Station Owner Killed Over 3 Cent Price Bump

Time: Give yourself plenty of extra time for getting to your destination. Speed limits are for perfect, dry conditions. On winter's icy roadways, half the speed limit may be suicide.

Vision: Take the time to clear all windows of snow, ice or fog before starting out. Also clear any snow off the hood - it comes loose when driving.

Lights: Even though you can see, drive with low-beam headlights in snow, fog or just winter murk. Keep all lenses free of dirt by wiping them periodically. Dirty headlights can cut visibility by 50 percent or more. Don't forget the directional lights, taillights and rotating lights.

Tires: Be sure your tires have adequate tread for traction in snow and to reduce the risk of hydroplaning in rain or puddles on the road. You may hear that putting extra weight in the trunk or truck bed gives better traction. Traction might be helped a little but at the expense of steering control and longer stopping distance. Likewise, you may hear that reducing tire pressure is another way of increasing traction. Reducing air pressure will not give you more traction and your tires could become seriously underinflated, affecting steering. Keep in mind that every time the outside temperature drops 10 degrees, the tire air pressure goes down about one pound per square inch. Remember too that underinflated tires are the major cause of tire failure.

Ice/Freezing Rain: At 30 degrees ice is twice as slippery as it is at 0 degrees. It also forms first and lasts longer on bridges and in the shade. If you hit an unexpected patch, don't try to brake, accelerate or downshift. Let up on your accelerator and let your vehicle "roll" through the slippery area. When freezing rain is occurring resulting in icing conditions, please pull over to the side of the road until the road has been treated with sand and salt.

Skidding: If you go into a skid, act quickly by taking your foot off the accelerator. Keep your foot off the brake and steer in the direction the rear of the vehicle is skidding. In other works, if you want your vehicle to go right, turn right. If you want it to go left, turn left. Hold the steering wheel firmly, but don't make large turns. Use a light touch to correct the swerve.

Braking: Your owner's manual will usually recommend the braking technique most effective for your car. For front and rear wheel drive vehicles with disc or drum brakes the National Safety council recommends the following procedure: Squeeze your brakes with a slow, steady pressure until just before they lock. When you feel them start to lock, ease off until your wheels are rolling; then squeeze again.

Following Distance: Maintain at least three times the normal following distance on snow or ice. If you are being followed too closely, maintain an extra distance behind the vehicle ahead so that you can slow down or brake gradually. Be prepared to adjust speed and /or stop to avoid colliding with the vehicle in front of you. Plan ahead when approaching intersections to that braking can be done smoothly.

Stay on the Beaten Path: Stay in line when traveling to or from a snow zone. Don't blaze your own trail, especially going downhill - you'll only manage to create a worse situation. You'll even clog the only open space emergency snow vehicles can travel.

Walking on Ice or Snow: After being in a warm vehicle, the soles of shoes or boots are warm enough to melt snow or ice, creating a film of water between the sole and the snow or ice surface. Be especially cautious for the first five minutes after leaving the vehicle. When walking on snow or ice, use short steps and keep your hands out of your pockets. These factors will help you maintain your balance. If you do fall, tuck your arms close to your body and roll with the fall.

Stay Clear of Plows and Sanders: Watch out for these vehicles as you round corners, curbs, etc. They do not travel at a high speed; therefore, you'll tend to come up on them quickly. Slow down. Plows and sanders will pull over periodically to let traffic pass. It's risky to pass on the left of a snowplow because of blowing snow. Never pass on the right. Flying rock can damage your car if you pass a sander. The best advice is to stay three car lengths behind plows and sanders. [CONN DOT]

For over a year and a half, I was in charge of the claims department at a valet company. I was in charge of handling claims in over 13 different states. If your car was damaged, stolen, or if items were taken from your car, you either spoke or yelled at me. I believe the best way to avoid any of these tenuous situations is prevention. But if the worst does happen, there are some tips included for how to deal with an incident.

1. Please be sure that you are handing the keys to the valet.

Please don't give us the chauffer/FOB keys, or else it will be hard to start the car later. Most valets uniforms are as follows: khaki shorts or pants, a polo t-shirt with the company logo, and finally white sneakers. Valets are required to wear uniforms of this sort and if you are doubtful, look for other valets dressed in the same or similar uniforms to confirm the person you are speaking to is a genuine valet.

2. Visually inpsect your vehicle before handing the keys to the valet.

Those 30 seconds you spend inspecting your vehicle may save you the headache of noticing a scratch that had previously been there.

3. Remove any portable electronics of value from the car.

Ipods, GPS recievers, and radar detectors are popular targets, take the item with you. Expensive sunglasses are also a prime target of theft. No one cares about your change. You can lock the items in your glovebox but if the valet has the keys or left the vehicle unlocked, it's pointless to leave the items in there. Thieves primarily go after small expensive items that can be stored in their pockets.

4. If you must leave expensive items in your trunk(i.e. laptop or Christmas presents), COVER THEM UP!

Theft from cars is a crime of opportunity, if they don't see or notice it, they won't steal it.

5. Never mention any expensive items in your car (i.e. I just got a new GPS for my car) because you're practically begging to having your items stolen.

6. If your car has weird quirks, (i.e. door has to be opened a certain way or the window can't be rolled down) please tell the valet ahead of time, it'll save you a headache.

At the end of the night, please be sure to visually inspect the car and check your vehicle for valuable items before leaving the property. If you fail to notice damage to your vehicle until you get home or the next day, the valet company will simply say all claims must be made before leaving property, you will be S.O.L.

The reason is because it's difficult to pin the damage on the valet company when the damage could have been caused by another party after leaving the property. Always keep all the tickets given to you by the valet company just in case there is an issue.

So you notice there is damage to your vehicle or there are missing items from your vehicle.

1. Ask to speak to the valet manager.

The manager will fill out an incident report and forward it to the claims department, you should get a copy for your records, and you should be contacted within 1-2 business days. In case of a stolen vehicle, contact the authorities and more than likely, your insurance company will be dealing directly with the valet company.

2. If your keys are lost, usually the valet company offers the claimant a ride or pays for a taxi.

If you live far away, it may be cheaper to rent a vehicle than take a taxi. I know it sounds FUBAR but trust me, valet companies are cheapskates.

3. If the vehicle cannot be driven, under most circumstances, you will have to rent a vehicle with your own money until the valet company can send you a check.

Most valet companies adhere to the same standards as insurance companies, so the highest amount for a rental is usually $40.00. If you rent something uber expensive, you're going to have to eat the difference yourself.

4. Never let a valet company try to strongarm you into going to an autobody repair facility they suggest.

The law dictates that you have the choice to go to any facility of your choice. More than likely, you will be asked to get 2-3 estimates (go to facilities you trust) and fax it to the valet company. If the estimate exceeds a certain amount, an independent appraiser will be sent(at the expense of the valet company) out to verify the damage to the vehicle. If the damage exceeds the value of the car (80%), the car will be written off as a total loss and you'll be paid the market value of your vehicle.

5. Do not drop off your vehicle for repairs until you have the check in hand.

The reason I say so is if the valet company only pays for the five days it takes to repair your vehicle, that's all they'll pay. So if you jump the gun on dropping off your car and you don't get the check until five days later, you have to pay the five extra days yourself.

6. In the case you have items stolen from your vehicle, it's almost next to impossible to get reimbursed for them.

My best advice is most valet companies are subcontractors at the facility you're at. So for example, if you stay at a hotel, bring the claim to the attention of the hotel and not the valet company, the hotel is the real customer here and they will put pressure on the valet company to reimburse you. If the valet company tries to tell you their policy is written on the ticket, just ignore it. The policy written on the ticket will not hold up in court so you can tell them to back off. If you have home owners insurance, your vehicle is covered for theft as long as you have the reciepts for the items in your car.

On a final note, most valets are just college kids trying to make ends meet. The wages for valets are tip-based so if you're dealing with a kind and courteous valet, please give them a tip as a token of your appreciation (my suggestion is $5.00). If you drive an exotic, $20.00 makes sure the car is parked up front and there will be no hooning in it since usually the manager will park it him/herself.

If you're really lucky, you've not started your car and can thus get it drained by a professional (or a trusted friend) for a decent price according to the lads at MotorTorque. This is the easiest solution and the best way to avoid serious damage.

If you've only put in a tiny amount it may be possible to dilute the gasoline with diesel, but this is highly risky and should only be attempted in older vehicles that don't use high-pressure injection systems. I.E., don't try this in your new Bluetec E-Series.

If you've put more than a sliver in and started the car you're running the risk of damaging the fuel pump, fuel-injection system and washing out all the lubricant in the car. And that's in an older car. If you're car/truck is using a common-rail diesel system you could be looking at major engine destruction (that may not be covered by your insurance).

In this case, an ounce of prevention is worth a gallon of cure/diesel. Make sure to clearly mark your gas gauge, the inside of the fuel door and the fuel cap with the words "DIESEL FUEL ONLY," especially if your ride gets borrowed frequently.

As always, consult a mechanic before you do anything stupid. [MotorTorque]

Especially when the junkyard is chock full of pocket-sized Toyota injectors, available for free at a reasonable price? Exactly. But how do you know if your junkyard injectors are any good? Sure, you can tell if one is completely nonfunctional once you start the car, but it's hard to detect one that's just screwing up enough to hose the emissions. Well, the Toyota shop manual refers to some kind of high-tech flow-testing device that basically lets you look at an injector's spray pattern and measure the flow to see that it's within specs. I figured, hey, I'll just build my own! Now, y'all can just hold off on the comments telling me I'm a fucking idiot with a death wish, because I swear I look back with horror at all the different ways this thing could have killed me; my only excuse is that I got locked into the challenge of building it, while not really looking at the big picture. In any case, I figure what I ended up building might be of some entertainment value to our beloved Jalopnik readership. So here ya go!


But first, as a technical writer I'm required to scare the daylights out of anyone who might attempt to build this incredibly dangerous device, by providing a disclaimer packed with menacing statements in boldface (and, of course, Walker Canada's warning symbol). So: Warning! If you attempt to build any sort of device that involves gasoline under high pressure, particularly one that resembles in even the slightest detail the device described below, you will definitely be killed. In fact, you will be burned so severely that you will pray for a quick death to release you from your agony, as your arms and legs curl up and fall off like sausages left too long on the barbecue. However, before the gasoline ignites, you will experience the sensation of pressurized gasoline being injected into your eyeballs, exploding them. After the paramedics show up (shaking their heads at the fool contraption that transformed you into a cruel parody of human form) and haul you to the hospital, your relatives and friends will arrive at your bedside and read you long lists of your faults and wrongdoings, each whispering "I always loathed you" in your ear (which will resemble one of those black potato chips from the bottom of the bag).


Right, so now that we've ensured that you're not going to, you know, try this at home, we can get on with the description of the device itself. First I started with a late-70s Datsun 280Z fuel pump. This is an amazing fuel-injection pump; not only does it deliver a nice reliable flow, but it's by far the easiest such pump to remove from any car at the junkyard, being located in a very accessible spot just inside the right rear wheelwell (unlike most FI pumps, which tend to be located in difficult-to-reach locations like inside the gas tank or behind knuckle-slicing panels). I bolted the pump to a crude plywood frame and rigged up an intake hose long enough to reach a can of gas.


Then I grabbed a fuel rail from a junkyard Tercel (the same one that provided my first four injectors) and plumbed the fuel pump outlet to it. That way I had the same pressure regulator as the one on my Tercel; since the Z pump puts out similar pressure numbers to the Tercel's, I could count on getting similar behavior out of the injectors being tested.


I only wanted to test one injector at a time, so I packed the three extra injector holes in the rail with JB Weld, screwed some bolts into them, then packed more JB Weld over the whole mess. I'm pretty sure this arrangement doesn't meet internationally recognized safety standards, but I got lucky and it didn't leak.


Once the fuel rail was ready, I bolted it to the plywood top of the frame. I figured clamp pressure against the JB Weld would help seal the holes, so I wedged a precision spacer (a dime) underneath the short one. Yeah, I know, what could I have been thinking?


A fuel injector does its thing when it gets 12 volts on its electrical contacts, so I rigged up a Toyota injector connector to the wiring harness.


I didn't have any injectors handy when I shot these photos, so you'll just have to imagine an injector being held in place in the fuel rail by this aircraft-grade aluminum bracket.


I used drywall screws, choice of hoonic backyard mechanics the world over, to tighten the clamp down on the injector and hold it tight enough to get a good seal in the rail. A graduated cylinder goes underneath the injector, but I couldn't dig up one of those for the photo shoot. Just imagine the setup and you'll get the idea- I mean, if you can imagine it not on fire.


Of course, a fuel-injection system needs a return line to go back to the gas can- I mean, fuel tank. I must have scavenged the banjo bolt for some other project, so I'm just laying the line in place for the photo.


Then a couple of light switches, both hooked up to a car battery. One activates the fuel pump, while the other activates the injector. Turn on the fuel pump, turn on the injector, time how much fuel it squirts in a given time period, repeat. Try not to spray gas all over the place. Avoid smoking.


Here's the finished product. It did solve my problem, in that I was able to identify the two bad injectors and replace them with good ones, but I won't be using it again.

Seeing Clearly

A line-of-sight windshield crack or bull's-eye that obstructs vision can prompt a conversation with an officer of the law. Cracked windshields are a good reason to get pulled over, and illegal in some states. Having an installer travel to your home or business to replace a windshield can save the cost and time involved in clearing up a fix-it citation. Cracked windshields can also let in moisture, which can cause hidden rust to form on the underlying steel, and compromise the adhesive bond of the glass to the vehicle. What looks fine from the outside may be a disaster forming out of sight.

Bonding Experience

The plastic and glass sandwich, or sangwich, that comprises modern safety glass serves three functions. The plastic outer layers prevent the glass from shattering when presented with hurtling baby toys or frozen lobster tails fallen off a truck. The plastic itself is flexible, which can cushion any impact of occupants in an accident. A less obvious function is perhaps the most important. Back in the days of finned Cadillacs and Plymouth Potemkins Satellites, heavy stamped steel pillars held up the roof. The glass merely went along for the ride. As efficiency and lower weight became more important, vehicle construction changed. Today the glass and steel along with the adhesive that holds it all together combine to form structural support for the roof of the car. The windshield can also help support a deploying airbag

Sniffing Glue

Using the right catalyzed adhesive to chemically bond the replacement glass to the vehicle structure is extremely important, especially in the case of vehicle rollover or airbag deployment. Using the wrong adhesive may not just result in leaks and cause cabin noise, but it could also result in serious injury in the event of accident. Leaving the windshield install to the guys with the trucks and glass is a capital idea. A lower than normal insurance deductible often applies for front windshield replacement. Check with your carrier. Most auto glass installers are mobile, and will roll out to wherever you are. You could do it yourself, but by the time you get the tools, the adhesive, the primer, crack a new windshield, buy another replacement, and break a trim bit - you could have had more fun playing Grand Turismo while someone else did the job right for a lot less money. In this case we stood around with a camera, so you could see how the job is done.

Stuff You'll Need:

· A telephone or the internets to make an appointment
· Vehicle year, make, and model
· Insurance deductible (optional)
· About an hour
· Something to do for an hour while someone else installs the windshield

This crack was a ticket waiting to happen, and had also caused the window seal to fail. This windshield had also seen enough presidents to become pitted and hazy at night.

Specialized tools are used to gently remove the trim so that the numerous clips, fasteners, and retainers can be re-used. These clips are easy to break. Replacements can often be dealer only items, usually not cheap.

With the trim out of the way another tool is used to squarely slice the adhesive material directly under the windshield.

Once the undercut is finished, a suction cup is employed to remove the old windshield. Presto.

The mounting surface on the new windshield prepped by scuffing. A bonding agent is then applied to the new surface to help with grip onto the old.

Adhesive is laid out in a pointed "V" all the way around the bead. Any gap or inconsistency can lead improper bonding, a water leak, or cabin wind noise.

The suction cup and a steady hand are used to place the windshield in the right spot. There is no do over without starting over.

All the trim bits are put back and the windshield wipers are replaced.
A final cleanup, and the windshield is as good as new. The adhesive should cure before the vehicle can be driven. Ask your installer.

Hey, Bernoulli - Take it Easy!

The carburetor is one of those automobile parts of yesteryear still sworn by and at today. Like a modern electronic fuel injection system, the carburetor's main job is to meter fuel into the air entering the engine based on demand. Before modern multipoint electronic fuel injection became commonplace, the carburetor was the automotive king of mixing fuel and air. The carburetor mixes up fuel and air using Bernoulli's principle by way of a venturi. Bernoulli stated that air becomes less dense the faster it moves. As air moves through the throat of the carburetor, the vacuum created draws fuel into the air to in theory, produce the ideal fuel-air mixture based on engine demand. The carburetor venturi amplifies this effect by squeezing the incoming air into a tighter space, increasing velocity, and vacuum, and so on.

Simple, Right?

The carburetor mixes fuel into the air based on a near-ancient idea of a throttle cable connected to the loud pedal. The throttle plate meters air into the air pump that is the engine. If all goes well the carburetor sends the right amount of fuel to match demand. While multipoint fuel injection mixes the ideal amount of air and fuel together by way of various electronic sensors and a digital computer, the carburetor achieves this same task mechanically. The carburetor is a liquid analog computer. The carburetor uses a myriad of channels, passages, needles and seats, holes, check balls, and vacuum diaphragms instead of ones and zeros.

Mixed Nuts

The devil is in the details. Anything with that many moving parts is bound to be a bit of a cantankerous device. The maze of snakelike vacuum tubes and sensors can paralyze even the initiated. Adding to the operating complexity of a carburetor is that it is bolted down to the top or the side of a perpetually shaking engine that goes from stone cold to two hundred plus degrees and back again all the time. Fuel leftover when the vehicle is turned off combined with engine heat conspires to gum up the works. Evaporating fuel leaves a legacy of varnish and glue.

Ships in a Bottle

Anyone who ever spent any time building models as a kid can rebuild a carburetor. Those of you who relish putting ships in a bottle, or that have a Apple 5300c connected to a car battery running the garage security system might even be able to wrestle a dreaded feedback carburetor back into useful service. The other trick is to get the right rebuild kit. The fusty old Aisin carburetor show here had almost a dozen kits available for the different versions Toyota bolted into the Starlet. Safety first! Gasoline is flammable. Always disconnect the battery and have an approved fire extinguisher nearby before beginning any work involving gasoline or other flammable fuels.

Stuff You'll Need:

· A Crusty Carburetor
· A Carburetor Rebuild Kit
· About Four Hours
· Hand Tools, Including Wicked Small Stuff
· Large Tray to Catch Check Balls and Clips
· Gunk®, Chem-Dip®, or similar
· Gloves and Goggles

Remove the air cleaner. Mark all hoses and connections for future reference because you won't remember. Replace any cracked or broken lines. Remove fuel line using a line wrench to prevent stripped nuts. Use a rag or metal cup to catch any fuel. Remove the carburetor and put a clean rag over the hole.

Move to the bench. Now is a great time to take a digital image of the carburetor for later reference. Break down only the parts that need to be taken apart. Try to keep linkages and levers whole if possible.

Lift off the top of the carburetor to reveal the accelerator pump, and float. Don't tip anything upside down, or a dozen different size ball bearings and check valves will fall out.

If the main jets need to be removed use a screwdriver that fills the screw slot. Any nicks or scratches in the jets can alter the flow of fuel.

The key to any successful carburetor rebuild is the dip. Bailing wire comes in handy for fishing out parts. Small parts go into included dipping basket. Don't leave aluminum in there too long.

The accelerator pump squirts fuel into the throttle bore when you hit the gas. Soak the leather in a little oil to soften it up before installing.

Set the float level and drop by bending tabs and measuring. Do it again, and again, and again until it's right. Float drop and level has great effect on carburetor operation.

This little bugger controls the idle fuel mixture. Make sure it's not worn out or mangled, and that the air passages feeding it are open. Turn the screw until it seats, then turn out according to the instructions.

New gaskets are the key to proper sealing. Set the throttle plate stop angle on the primary and secondary throttle blades. Some rebuild kits come with cardboard templates to make this easy. This kit did not. We had to bust out the protractor and make cardboard templates.

Put it all back together. Easy right? Don't forget to inspect fuel for rust and crud, and install a new fuel filter if required before bolting it back up. Tighten mounting bolts in a criss-cross pattern. Do not overtighten! The carburetor will warp.

He's Mr. Hundred and One
The less discussed function of the spark plug is to transfer heat away from the combustion chamber by acting as a heat exchanger. A spark plug produces no heat on its own, but rather wicks combustion heat through itself into the metal of the hole it's screwed into, and ultimately to the engine coolant surrounding that metal. Spark plugs are rated from cold to hot based on the speed at which they can transfer heat away from the combustion chamber. The correct heat range lets combustion byproducts burn away and the spark plug cleans itself.

Hot, No Wait Cold
Talk of cold and hot spark plugs is a bit counterintuitive. A spark plug in the colder heat range transfers heat quicker. A spark plug in the hotter heat range transfers heat slower. Using a spark plug too hot in heat range can bring excessive temperature, pre-ignition, and in severe cases a melting of the plug electrode. Metal parts flying around in the combustion chamber are very bad. Using a spark plug that's too cold in heat range can cause crud to build up on the electrode, which can lead to decreased spark efficiency.

Choose Wisely
The right spark plugs are designed specifically to work with the engine they're being screwed into. Spark plug manufacturers make this choice easy. Make. Model. Year. Engine. Presto! The next thing to check is the gap. While most conventional spark plugs come pre-gapped, it's a safe bet to consult the service or owner's manual for the correct gap and check with a feeler gauge before installing - with exception! Some newer and wicked expensive plugs can easily be ruined if gapped. Do not attempt to gap Iridium or similar spark plugs. There's usually something to the effect of do not attempt to gap printed on the side of the box.

How Often?
As far as when to change them, there is no reason to do it too often or wait too long. Every 30,000 miles is a good baseline for conventional copper core spark plugs, but keep in mind that all engines will have different requirements. Some newer vehicles will never require the average driver to even think about the spark plugs. While swapping out your spark plugs is relatively simple, there are a few classic screwups to avoid. We've put together a few tips compiled from years of shade free mechanical mishaps. Add some if you have some.

Stuff You'll Need:
· Spark Plugs
· Spark Plug Socket
· Extension and Ratchet
· Hand Tools
· Clean Rags
· Gap Gauge
· Torque Wrench
· Rubber Hose [optional]
· Universal Joint [optional]
· Boot Pliers [optional]

Start with a cool engine and a disconnected battery. Work one spark plug at a time. Clean the area around the spark plug boot or coil pack so crud doesn't fall into the hole left by spark plug. On wire equipped engines remove one spark plug boot by pulling on the boot itself. Boot pliers can help. Do NOT pull on the wire! Modern vehicles will have an ignition coil pack per cylinder arrangement, sometimes bolted in. Remove the fastener and pull the coil pack off the plug.

Remove the spark plug using a spark plug socket, extension, and ratchet. The spark plug should come loose with moderate effort. Stop if the spark plug offers too much resistance. The threads of the cylinder head can come out with the spark plug. This is rare but it can happen. We're not going to run how to install a helicoil thread insert until later.

Spark plug sockets have rubber inserts to hold the plug in place to make life easier. Lift the spark plug free of the hole. Be careful to keep debris from entering cylinder. Stuffing a clean rag in the hole is added safety.

If a spark plug socket isn't available then a length of hose over the end of the insulator can be used to spin the plug out of the hole. This trick works putting a plug into the hole as well. A universal joint can also help for tricky routing.

Check the new spark plug gap with a feeler gauge. Use the numbers on the gauge to match the recommended gap. Not too loose, not too tight. You should be able to feel the gauge contact both electrodes. Wire gauges are the most accurate, but we've never had any trouble using blade feeler gauges.

To adjust the gap use the adjuster on the gauge or Sears 4Way pocket screwdriver to gently bend open the outer electrode. Check that electrode surfaces are parallel to each other. To reduce the gap, lightly tap the spark plug on a level surface. Check the gap again

Put the spark plug back into the socket and thread it in by hand. The spark plug should offer little resistance. Stop immediately if it doesn't thread in like butter. Start over. A cross-threaded spark plug can be an expensive mistake. Turn the spark plug until it seats.

Use a wrench to tighten the spark plug enough to compress the washer against the cylinder head. Using a torque wrench is the best bet for the final twist. Barring that, turn the spark plug around a quarter turn after the gasket feels flattened. No more. Never over tighten spark plugs.

Reinstall the spark plug boot or coil pack. Check that the boot or coil pack is fully seated against the plug. It should be able to feel it click into place. Move onto the next plug!

Finger in the Dike

While oil spots on the driveway or garage floor can be ugly, an engine crankcase or transmission without oil can get really ugly. To figure out where the oil is leaking from place a large sheet of cardboard under the engine overnight. Oil leaks can be deceiving, originating at a point other than the place where the oil meanders down and finally drips onto the ground. Follow your nose to determine if the leaking oil in question is engine or gear oil. Gear oil smells like rotten eggs thanks to the sulfur compounds blended in to aid in the gnashing of gears. Tip: once gear oil gets on clothing, it will smell like gear oil forever.

That's Mr. Gasket to You Pal

Sometimes luck is good, and an oil leak is as simple as cinching down a few valve cover bolts, or replacing a useless oil drain plug gasket. Other times luck runs thin, and the dreaded phrase rear main or axle seal surfaces. The seals that keep oil from escaping past a spinning axle or engine crankshaft are of the same circular variety. The flexible rubber seal is housed in a metal carrier, which can be pressed into a transmission, differential, or engine cover semi-permanently. Replacing a valve cover gasket or oil drain plug grommet is relatively painless. Getting to and pulling a circular axle or oil seal can hurt a lot more, and may involve fun things like pulling the engine or three quarters of the suspension out of the car.

Timing is Everything

A good time to inspect and replace axle seals is when replacing axles or half-shafts. Getting to the engine seals can be a bit more complex. Take a look at the rear main seal when the clutch and flywheel are out of the car. If the seal is leaking even a little, a good time to have at it would be then. These circular seals also live behind inner