I'm sure some female commentors are griping about this article being sexist, but I'm a woman and I thought it was hilarious! What kind of women does a guy who doesn't have a car attract?
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
It's hard to say who is sadder,a guy that needs a certain car to attract a woman or a woman that is dumb enough to be interested in a guy just because of his car. They probably deserve each other,i just hope they don't breed.
With ya on that one Dearth, I had to give a LONG look at a pretty gal in a 1970 Nova (kinda like the 'Death-Proof' Nova) with slapper bars and and agressive rear ride height.
She was going a good rate over the limit, not really enough to stick out, but not hanging about. And it was a 4 speed. Phew. Pretty hot.
As a woman, I can attest that this works both ways. A women in a hot car attracts certain types of men too. I drove a Corvair for a while, and was getting a swelled head over all the guys checking me out, until I realized it was the car and not me.
@Curves: Actually that's completely true. I might give a pretty girl a second glance while I'm out and about, but I'd almost cause an accident for a second, third, and forty-fifth glance at a pretty girl in a hot car.
@FuzzyPlushroom: It was 64 Spyder that my sister bought from her high school teacher and I drove it when she was living overseas. I always made sure to keep an extra belt for it because they were always breaking. Burgundy Coupe. That car looked good on me.
Where would a tastefully modded Subaru Impreza WRX be in there? No wing, light tint, no chrome, STi wheels, a chip and an exhaust? Please tell me it doesn't fall into the Clapped-Out Rice Rocket or the Sensible Japanese Import. I was sure I'd be avoiding those areas with this thing...
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
@Mike the Dog: Is that sand in your vachina or Mr. Didorosi's coq? By commenting that the story is dumb, i am indicating that I would not like to see similar stories in the future. To that extent, my comment is constructive. So go eff yourself you effin coqsuckin' moron.
@TheBrudwich: I don't know whether to be angry at your trollish insinuations about my gender and sexuality (unfounded, BTW, as I'm as straight and male as they get), amused by your third grade attempts at clever misspelling (as if misspelling the bad words makes it like you never used them), or sad that you have revealed the level of your maturity here in such an embarrassing manner. I'll go with a mixture of sad amusement, as responding in kind to your trolling wouldn't be constructive.
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
This is really old, but has its moments. The flip side of the post, for the unhappy people. Plus the Crown Vic one is right on. Right on, Murilee? Ditto El Camino and MGB.
Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend
I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX
I am impotent
Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Cavalier
I am a sex machine
Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them
I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and
I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ferrari Testarossa
I am known to prematurely ejaculate
Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and
change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is
better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is
in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countach
I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL
I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB
I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo
I have a three inch thingy
Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
And I'm guilty. One of my cars is a Camry and I am currently repainting the inside of my house "neutral" to sell it. Hell yes on the back rub and also the warm milk, as long as there's a shot of chocolate or brandy in it.
@FuzzyPlushroom: I dunno, a fair number of the attractive recreational-pothead chicks (ie they do smoke pot, but they also bathe and wear things that aren't made of Hemp) I know drive old Volvos... so you might have a shot.
@something_unique_and_descripti...:I know two people under 30 who drive one - one, I believe, had the car bought for her by her parents (granted, she was kinda cute) and the other's a good friend of mine. Well, he doesn't count, as he's male. And he rolled it over last week in an unfortunate ice-related accident. And walked away, of course, but that's not the point.
I guess I need to move to Ithaca or somewhere. That's more what you're thinking of, I believe.
- I don't own a cell phone, and my mp3 player has neither video-playing capabilities nor a stencil of a partially-consumed fruit on its casing (and that casing is plastic)
- My car doesn't have a spoiler, alloy wheels, or a thumpin' subwoofer
- I'm currently listening to Eric Clapton?
Hey, Kenny Rogers! Actually, scratch that last one.
@FuzzyPlushroom: Fuck. By that measure, I'm more of a teenager than you are. Okay, my iPod broke two years ago and never got replaced (who knew you couldn't back over it with your car and have it continue working?) but I do have a spoiler (although functional, and powered, extends out of the body at 70 km/h), alloy wheels, and a 15" sub and 10-speaker stereo with integrated in-dash DVD/Sirius/Nav. And I'm on my 34th cellphone. I do, however, sport a Riker beard, and can play Clapton on the guitar, so I do have adult aspects to me.
@MarywithChristmasisoyesterday: If I could, I'd heart-clicky you again for that one. Between that and the short-skirt-tall-boots, I'm convinced that you're good people.
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
01/05/09
01/12/09
01/04/09
02/18/09
01/04/09
01/01/09
12/29/08
What kind of girl.. is attracted to a guy who has a thing for Accords..
Accord wagons
Civic Hatches, 5 b/w cats and spends all of his free time on some sex site called JALOPNIK.COM?
12/31/08
01/01/09
12/29/08
She was going a good rate over the limit, not really enough to stick out, but not hanging about. And it was a 4 speed. Phew. Pretty hot.
12/28/08
12/28/08
12/28/08
In my case, especially an old hot car.
12/29/08
That car looked good on me.
12/28/08
12/28/08
12/27/08
[forums.thecarlounge.com]
12/29/08
12/27/08
2. I lol'd hard at Integra girl.
12/27/08
1. Old.
2. Me too.
12/27/08
12/27/08
12/28/08
12/28/08
12/26/08
Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend
I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX
I am impotent
Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Cavalier
I am a sex machine
Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them
I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and
I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ferrari Testarossa
I am known to prematurely ejaculate
Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and
change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is
better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is
in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lamborghini Countach
I only have one testicle
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL
I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB
I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a
fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo
I have a three inch thingy
Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce
I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2
(See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
inferior than Isuzu
Volkswagen Cabriolet
I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Beetle
I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife
12/27/08
I'd like to add a few:
Aston Martin DB5
I think SNL's portrayal of Sean Connery is disgraceful
Chevrolet Astro
Tengo tres perros y amo Jesús
Chevrolet Avalanche
I wish I could pay my home loan
Chevrolet Beretta
I ain't drivin' no damn J-body
Chevrolet Impala (FWD)
I love government auctions
Chrysler PT Cruiser
I thought it was attractive
Dodge Stratus
I have ten grand in credit card debt
Ford Escort
I got this car from my parents
Ford F-Series (Orange)
(See Chevrolet Impala)
Ford Focus
I just love the CD changer!
Ford Taurus
I put 17,000 miles on it... over the course of six years
Geo Metro
I have a lightweight car to compensate for my heavyweight gut and arse
Geo Tracker (if over 25)
I don't understand why people hide their children from me
Honda Passport
I just sent $1000 to a friendly Nigerian via wire transfer
Jeep Wrangler
I thought chicks would dig this thing
Lancia Scorpion
I can't get it up without having my scrotum flogged with a sand-filled garden hose
Lexus ES
I was recently promoted to division manager
Lotus Esprit
I buy my cocaine from a guy who drives a 280Z
Maserati Biturbo
I prefer to be called "Fabio"
Mitsubishi Eclipse
I work at a successful hair salon
Nissan Altima
I didn't want an Accord
Pontiac Aztek
I have an unnatural fondness for plastic
Pontiac Grand Am
I hoped nobody would look at the car long enough to see me driving it
Pontiac Sunfire
I have two illegitimate children with two different fathers
Toyota Camry
I enjoy warm milk, back rubs, and off-white walls
Toyota Celica
I have the coolest car in my high-school parking lot
Toyota Cressida
I can't see over the steering wheel, but won't hesitate to ram you if you cut me off
Toyota MR2
I wish Toyota built interesting cars again
Volkswagen Jetta Mk4
I got an ankle tattoo to match my sorority sisters'
Volvo 240
I don't care whether it complements my tweed jacket
Zastava Yugo GV
I am willing to sacrifice my sanity, and possibly my life, for fuel economy
12/27/08
And I'm guilty. One of my cars is a Camry and I am currently repainting the inside of my house "neutral" to sell it. Hell yes on the back rub and also the warm milk, as long as there's a shot of chocolate or brandy in it.
12/26/08
Oh, herpes, okay.
How about a hearse?
I don't want to know? Shit. I was hoping for some cute goth chicks or something.
Uhh... a brick-shaped Volvo?
Nothing?
Fuck.
12/26/08
12/26/08
12/27/08
I guess I need to move to Ithaca or somewhere. That's more what you're thinking of, I believe.
@Deartháir and his eight little drained beers: Would it hurt your head even more if I told you that:
- I have a respectably-sized beard
- I don't own a cell phone, and my mp3 player has neither video-playing capabilities nor a stencil of a partially-consumed fruit on its casing (and that casing is plastic)
- My car doesn't have a spoiler, alloy wheels, or a thumpin' subwoofer
- I'm currently listening to Eric Clapton?
Hey, Kenny Rogers! Actually, scratch that last one.
12/27/08
12/26/08
I was going to use the royal we, but, clearly some of us have our undies in a bundle.
12/26/08
12/26/08
'Nuff said?
12/26/08
01/01/09