Jalopnik: Hoons

Big Brother Parenting: Tiwi Blackbox Monitors Speeding Youngsters

Travis Hudson — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:20:00 EDT

Helicopter parents rejoice! The Tiwi Blackbox is on the scene to prevent hoonage of any sort. The Tiwi monitors the speed of the vehicle in which it is installed; if the driver exceeds a pre-set speed threshold, it will issue a verbal warning to slow down. If your little hooligan continues to exceed the speed limit, the Tiwi uses an integrated GPS along with cellular technology to notify parents — or anyone else, like your probation officer — via e-mail, calls or text messages. The Tiwi Blackbox goes for $550 and has a $35 monthly fee, plus a personal apology from the manufacturer for stealing your childhood. [Tiwi via Giz]

Polish Hoons Roll Volvo V40 Station Wagon, Celebrating Kubica?

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:45:00 EDT

We're not sure if these Polish hoons were actually intending to roll their Volvo V40 wagon when they hooked up the video cameras, but that was the result. An unsuccessful attack at a turn leads to the driver doing his best Robert Kubica impression (wherein Kubica crashes at, instead of wins, the Canadian Grand Prix). It doesn't look as if anyone is injured — it's a Volvo after all — but we're guessing someone is going to be switched from driver to camera operator on the next trip. (Thanks to Marcin) [Tapespace]

Jumping A Saturn At Dave's Farm

Mark Arnold — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Another day, another beater car hooned at Dave's Farm. Sure it's not as impressive as the Honda 666, or the Buick Halfmaster, but who doesn't love seeing a car catching air? It may be a lowly '90s Saturn, but the flat black and flames make up for it.
[Dave's Farm]

Trust the Legends Racer

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:40:00 EDT

Legends racers are some seriously odd, but awesome cars. Compact, agile, and way, way, way over engined, they have an air of quirky danger which makes them very exciting. We're not real clear on the conditions of this stunt, nor are we sure why tweedle dee and tweedle dum agreed to this (or why tweedle dum wore white pants), but they have some amazing trust in the driver of this legends car. This is one of the first times we've thought the people outside the car were bigger hoons than the guy at the wheel.

Swedish Hoons Hold Crazy Illegal Burnout Contest

Mark Arnold — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:40:00 EDT

If you thought the Swedish limo drifting was awesome, you're really gonna like this. It's an annual illegal burnout competition held in Stockholm, and the contestants don't hold anything back. Ripping tires to shreds? That's nothing. Pour down some gasoline and bring on the flames!
[h/t to Bo at sportbilen.se!]

Canadian Cabinet Members Forced To Give Back Vehicles, Thanks To One Teenage Hoon

Travis Hudson — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:40:00 EDT

The cabinet ministers in Nova Scotia will no longer be allowed to cruise around in government-paid vehicles after one teenage son of a cabinet minister crashed a 2008 Ford Escape hybrid likely doing something very un-green-like. It turned into a bit of a messy he-said she-said as the cabinet member, Judy Streatch, said she was given verbal permission to allow her son to drive the vehicle, but not written permission, which was previously required by the cabinet.

Thanks to this hoon son, who put the Escape in a ditch on the way to "get ice cream," cabinet ministers will have to buy their own vehicles, but still be allowed to claim mileage when using the vehicle for government purposes only. Take that, Canada! Now if only we can get Rep. Slaughter to give back her Lucerne. (h/t Acidic)[CBC]

Icelandic Hoons Protest Falling Krona, Rising Gas Prices

Ray Wert — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:40:00 EDT

Iceland's the one country with a currency rate falling further than the dollar and according to the front-pager today in the Wall Street ~~Murdoch~~ Journal it's having a serious impact on our hoonage-loving brethren from the land of the ice and snow. As those of us here have known ever since we saw Richard Hammond try to outrun a man ~~walking~~ driving on water — their only real escape is on nitrous-injected, giant-wheeled trucks which they throw at the mountainous landscape with the greatest of abandon. Unfortunately ballooning debt payments, punishing fuel prices and a cratering currency are all such buzz-kills. The Journal's Marcus Walker tells the story:

"Sveinbjörn Halldórsson, a 44-year-old real-estate agent from Reykjavík, drives a Chevy S10 pickup with a souped-up engine, 44-inch tires with spikes, and four kinds of radios and phones on the dashboard. Filling up the truck's 240-liter tank (about 63 gallons) for the weekend costs him nearly $500, with gas costing $7.84 a gallon. He rolls with one of many so-called gangs on Iceland's highly competitive 4x4 off-road vehicle scene...A once-booming real-estate market is now in free-fall. Last year, Mr. Halldórsson's company sold 30 apartments a month. Last month it sold three. "When the phone rings now, the noise shocks everybody," he says. As his payments balloon and times get tougher, he's having to skip jeep trips, including his gang's annual five-day glacier expedition later this month."

Young Icelandic hoons are apparently even taking to the streets in protest. The Journal continues:

Samúel "Wolf" Thór Gudjónsson, a lanky 21-year-old electrician with long blond rocker's hair, joined with dozens of other jeep fans earlier this month to protest climbing fuel prices, blocking oil companies' depots. Others drove their jeeps through the city's streets at 5 miles an hour to demand cuts in fuel taxes.
Demonstrations are rare in stoical Iceland, a country of only 300,000 people. But the threat to jeep habits is just too much. Alfred "Spotti" Bergisson, a 26-year-old plumber who drives a beefed-up Toyota Land Cruiser, is willing to fight for his right to party. "I just want to go where I want to go," he says. "I get energy in the mountains. I think there."

You go, you young hoons of Iceland. Remember — they may take our tricked out jeep-truck rock-crawlers, they may kill our cheap gas, but they'll never take away our freedom — to hoon! [Wall Street Journal]

Guns and Ramping, Can Life Get Better?

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:45:00 EST

We really like these guys, they know how to start off a video - couple of reports from a camouflaged pump action shot gun and you've got our attention. They seem to have stumbled into a junkyard with a copious supply of perfectly drivable, and yet totally disposable cars. Take that set up, add the sketchiest looking ramp we've seen in a while, a little ACDC, and you've got the makin's for a good ole time. Dirty deeds indeed.

Air-Powered Jumping Cutlass

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:00:00 EST

Not all air gained by cars is done so by forward motion. Check out this stripped down '86 Cutlass which someone has seen fit to outfit with a serious air cylinder system and dubbed the Cyclone. Don't know how many times it will be blowing through anywhere though cause the leaper looks like it gets pretty trashed in this clip of aerial acrobatics. Rocking a 60 gallon tank at 390 PSI, this thing it packing some serious stored energy. Now all we need is somebody to drive this off a ramp and hit the switch at just the right moment.

Look At The Bugs In My Beer

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:45:00 EST

Unlike the fail-hoons earlier, this clip shows aspiring degenerates everywhere how things are done. Not only does this gentleman confidently forego all safety equipment unlike our recommendations, he also does without a shirt and is Canadian. With a plan that is well laid out and a sarcastic cameraman documenting things, the joy of thoroughly stuffing a car is recorded. We can't believe that thing drove away.

Leap Day Celebration: A Special Day For Hoons

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:15:00 EST

Happy Leap Day everybody! You didn't think we could let this novelty of calendar and astronomical year synchronization pas without commemoration did you? Considering how convenient the name is to bringing you all manner of things that jump, we'll be following through with variations on the theme. Follow the tag for the rest of the day, and we'll finish things off with a special vote for Hoon of the Day. First up is a quick lesson on what not to do when leaping. If you're going to do it, do it big. This eight foot bunny hop is none too impressive. While these kids are wearing seatbelts, they don't anticipate the efficacy of the belts and thus look like amateurs hobbling around holding their ouchies afterwards. The final straw is multiple slow motion repeats of the same jump. While it is funny to watch synchronized pain, it's not a good way to get into our highlight reels.

Hoon of the Day: Who Will Survive The Indian Well of Death?

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:00:00 EST

Carnivals in India are a lot like carnivals in the United States. You've got your kids throwing up on rides, your delicious and fatty snack food and your WELL OF DEATH! Though the death count in this particular footage is low, you can just make out the discarded carcasses of those brave hatchbacking hoons that weren't so lucky in the center of the well. We're going to keep running Indian car vids until it stops being funny, which is probably never. Don't try this in your home well, kids! (h/t Eric)

Hoon of the Day: Aussie Cop Car Hooned

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:30:00 EST

It's a mystery to the Australian police how this ~~Falcon~~ Commodore radio car ended up doing dirt-slinging donuts for a crowd of onlookers. But it's no mystery to us. Though the cops can't be sure it's a police officer behind the wheel of the cruiser, we imagine it's a highway patrolman that's tired of the hoons having all the fun.

While the cops are promising to "get to the bottom of the incident," we'll continue to enjoy watching the added joy that sirens and lights bring to hoonage. No word yet on if they'll crush the cruiser when they find it. [News.com.au]

Opposition Party Against Aussie YouTube Law

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:30:00 EST

As we told you earlier, the New South Wales government is planning on crushing the autos of repeat hoonage-offenders and posting the video on the Internet for said hoons to watch at home. The New South Wales opposition party is against the action, with one official saying "their only answer is to crush cars. That's after the event. That is, after people have actually put their lives and the lives of other motorists and pedestrians at risk." While that may be true, we've been promised Falcon XR8's crashing into SS Utes and we'd be a little displeased if there's not going to be video of that. [AuBC]

Aussie Hoons' Rides to be Crushed Under New "YouTube Law"

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 09:45:00 EST

The New South Wales Government is fed up with illegal street racing and has decided to implement the "YouTube Law," wherein confiscated cars will be crushed in "crash test experiments" and then shown on YouTube for hoons to watch. Prompted by the deaths of two citizens in August in an alleged street racing accident, the police have confiscated nearly 300 cars for their little experiments.

While we kind of think watching heavily modified Falcons and Commodores plowing into each other is kind of awesome (it's sort of a big thing around here), we probably wouldn't feel the same way if we put forth the thousands of dollars for the mods. As soon as we find some of that video we'll happily share it with you. [AuBC]

Never Count Your Chickens Before They Cross The Finish Line

Ray Wert — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 09:45:00 EST

This is the top reason for why you don't celebrate before you cross the finish line. Also, don't try to push your car across the finish line after a crash. You'll just look silly doing it.

More Smash: Can You Really Have Too Many Pumpkins Pics?

Jonny Lieberman — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:00:00 EDT

By now you've seen sexy Murilee's mondo-gallery of extra Pumpkin Smash pinups. Well, here's mine. The difference? Murilee has a $20 camera that fits in his pocket while I have a huge rig costing over a grand. And his photos look better. That's an art school education for you. Real quick: all pit shots are pre-race. Yes, I said pre-race. Enjoy (by jumping).

Teen Outruns German Police In Go-Kart

tingwall — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 13:00:00 EDT

German police are saying it was their cars, not their driving skills, that allowed an 18-year-old to outrun them in a go-kart. The teenie-bopper driver led seven squad cars on a 3-mile chase through the city of Moenchengladbach before he lost the fuzz by ducking into an open garage. A spokesman for the department said the kart's superior cornering abilities allowed the driver to get away. However, even superior driving skills are no match for basic common sense as officers later caught up with the suspect while he was still hiding in the same garage. He's been charged with driving without a license and driving a go-kart on a public street, which is against the law in Germany. Apparently running away from police is not an illegal activity in Deutschland. Who knew? [Reuters]

Check Out How Hot Murilee Is

Jonny Lieberman — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:30:00 EDT

We just had to post this one. While you all saw that yeah, sure, Mr. Martin is indeed a man, not everyone buys into that theory. We snapped this one at the Altamont Pumpkin Smash — for the ladies. Why yes little miss thang, that is the timeless Hawaiian shirt/fedora wild and crazy guy combo. Ray-Ban Wayfarers, too. Oh, and for you car geeks there appears to be some sort of cherry Plymouth Belvedere with dual pipes and a 360 towing a trailer. But, we'd rather talk about Murilee. Really? You'd rather talk cars? Fine, then make the jump...

Here's another portrait. The light was fantastic just prior to the start of the Smash so we tried to get as much shot as possible. That's a father and son team out of Modesto with ~~a ringer~~ the sweetest sounding car there. It's hard to beat a 350 Chevy, sonically speaking.

Pumpkin Smash Carnage!

Jonny Lieberman — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 22:00:00 EDT

Oh man, it's getting ugly out here. We saw at least two cars head down the main straight — backwards! Plenty of pumpkins are on the track, and not just the kind that grow in the ground. Somehow the amazing Escort is still alive, even though the other drivers are actively trying to kill it. Godspeed, crappy Ford global platform front-drivin' four-banger. Let me stress just how insane these hoons are. Get close to the track you see nothing but a cloud of smoke and then suddenly a '74 Charger, an '81 Thunderbird and a '75 Caddy come blasting out of the dirt. We love this! OK, they just lifted the red flag. Here we go!

30 Second-Gen Camaros and an Escort!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 21:15:11 EDT

Most of the cars here in the Altamont Pumpkin Smash- which features smashed pumpkins all over the track, not to mention soapy water- are 2nd-gen GM F-bodies and mid-70s Monte Carlos, but we've got a couple of Cadillacs, a pink '76 T-Bird, and a lone Ford Escort. Survive, little Escort, survive!

Snow King: WRXs On Ice

Jonny Lieberman — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:45:00 EDT

A hoon-loving reader named Ryan sent in the following clip. Every once in a great while our LA-based WRX sees some snowy, even frightful weather (we have tall mountains). And while we definitely hoon it up in the slushy stuff, we got absolutely nothing on these cats. Sigh... any of you in the snow belt mind if a ruffled car-blogger and his battered blue Subaru came and stayed with you right around January? And as always is the case with Hoon of the Day clips, turn your speakers all the way off.

Bad Weld Job Gives Us Flashbacks To Donked On The Strip

Ray Wert — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 15:00:00 EDT

With great power, comes great responsibilities — like remembering to make sure those weld jobs are done right on that rear axle. There's not much more for us to say here other than we haven't laughed this hard since we saw a a 20-year-old GM product up on 30" wheels try to drag at night. We think they're still trying to catch that last tire.

Neither Snow Nor Rain Nor Sand Dunes: Mail Jeep Hoonage

maustin — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 16:45:19 EDT

How do you know it's a Mail Jeep? 'Cause it's got two little balls hanging under it. Har-dee-har-har. Anyway, in this excellent example of hoonage we study the post-civil service life of a 1983 mail Jeep (made by AM General). After being fitted with a Chevy small block, the Jeep goes drag racing, dune climbing, and even running through water. The abuse takes its toll on the old DJ though, so it was scrapped for parts. And by scrapped, we mean really scrapped - they took the body off in order to remove the transmission from the top. Check out the whole story, with a video.

Life Cycle of a Mail Jeep

Related:
More hoons, and hoon (not Shannon) [internal]

Hoon of the Day: Rear-drive Golf Donuts

maustin — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 17:07:25 EDT

Notice anything strange here? If you're reading this before watching the video, but somehow managed to ignore the headline, we'll spoil it for you. It's a rear-wheel-drive Golf doing donuts. Yeah, we know, it's no Golf-camino, but still, pretty sweet. Now take a closer look at the grille. There's no VW logo. Instead, it's got a Porsche logo. That's right, it's a Vorsche! Some maniac shoehorned the powertrain from a 944 in there. Totally. Freaking. Awesome. Click the second link for a close-up of the engine.

Donuts...Mmmm...Donuts! [YoutTube]
The Vorsche [eClubVW]

Related:
More hoons [internal]

Top Gear Hoonage: Cadillac CTS-V vs. Audi S4

David Thomas — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 18:12:38 EDT

Sure, you and everyone we know love Top Gear. But this is the epitome of a classic Top Gear segment ripping on us dumb Americans. However (and read that like Clarkson says it), the duel between Clarkson driving the Cadillac CTS-V and the Stig in an Audi S4 is some of the best race footage we've seen lately, anywhere. You're already watching anyway aren't you? Mission accomplished.

Hoooooon, Are You? Hoon-Hoon! Hoon-Hoon!

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 08:29:40 EDT

Sorry, we've been watching way too many CSI reruns lately. The word "hoon" simply makes us smile, in a giddy way that recalls a junior-high crush. Or an antelope in red argyle socks. In any event, authorities in Warrnambool, Australia aren't quite as enamored with hoons as we are and have passed "anti-hoon" legislation, which to us sounds suspciously like Executive Order 9066 or not.

In any event, said hoons are gonna have the book thrown at 'em, allowing their vehicles to be impounded in instances of behavior indicating one might be a hoon, and especially targeting known hoons. William Petersen and Marg Helgenberger are not known to be involved, as the Las Vegas Crime Lab is ill-equipped to deal with the special forensic evidence that can mark one as a hoon. Seriously, it'll like blow up their mass spectrometer or something.

Police target hoons [Warrnambool Standard]