Jalopnik: Hoon Of The Day

Porsche Carrera GT Drifts Right 'Round Dubai Roundabout

Mark Arnold — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:00:00 EDT

Dubai is no longer just a quaint desert outpost where car thieves merely steal police BMWs. Nope, the lack of proper law enforcement oversight is now showing up in more edge-of-the-seat ways. Because although taking a Porsche Carrera GT out for donuts and making sideways laps around a roundabout seems like a pretty good way to thrash a V10-powered Stuttgart supercar, it probably doesn't help so much with the law and order. [via autogespot]

Polish Hoons Roll Volvo V40 Station Wagon, Celebrating Kubica?

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 12:45:00 EDT

We're not sure if these Polish hoons were actually intending to roll their Volvo V40 wagon when they hooked up the video cameras, but that was the result. An unsuccessful attack at a turn leads to the driver doing his best Robert Kubica impression (wherein Kubica crashes at, instead of wins, the Canadian Grand Prix). It doesn't look as if anyone is injured — it's a Volvo after all — but we're guessing someone is going to be switched from driver to camera operator on the next trip. (Thanks to Marcin) [Tapespace]

Billetproof Burnout Contest, Yee Haw!

Mark Arnold — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:00:00 EDT

All right boys, you know the rules: Chain up your axle to this here block of cee-ment, spray it all down with water, and roast them tahhrs. Whoe're makes the most smoke wins! Can you think of a better way to spend a Saturday afternoon in America? Didn't think so.

The winner? That sweet Dodge Coronet.

Half A Dacia Is Better Than No Dacia At All

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Though the quality on this video is pretty poor, you get the idea. We've got Estupendo Mario sitting in less than half a Dacia, doing half-car donuts and half-car stoppies. This feels like what happens when a bunch of Spanish grease monkeys get a throwaway car and someone says "Hey chicos, ver esto!" How did nobody lose a body part here? [Youtube]

Jumping A Saturn At Dave's Farm

Mark Arnold — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Another day, another beater car hooned at Dave's Farm. Sure it's not as impressive as the Honda 666, or the Buick Halfmaster, but who doesn't love seeing a car catching air? It may be a lowly '90s Saturn, but the flat black and flames make up for it.
[Dave's Farm]

Trust the Legends Racer

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:40:00 EDT

Legends racers are some seriously odd, but awesome cars. Compact, agile, and way, way, way over engined, they have an air of quirky danger which makes them very exciting. We're not real clear on the conditions of this stunt, nor are we sure why tweedle dee and tweedle dum agreed to this (or why tweedle dum wore white pants), but they have some amazing trust in the driver of this legends car. This is one of the first times we've thought the people outside the car were bigger hoons than the guy at the wheel.

Swedish Hoons Hold Crazy Illegal Burnout Contest

Mark Arnold — Mon, 12 May 2008 14:40:00 EDT

If you thought the Swedish limo drifting was awesome, you're really gonna like this. It's an annual illegal burnout competition held in Stockholm, and the contestants don't hold anything back. Ripping tires to shreds? That's nothing. Pour down some gasoline and bring on the flames!
[h/t to Bo at sportbilen.se!]

Drifting A Limo Ain't Easy

Mark Arnold — Thu, 08 May 2008 12:40:00 EDT

What's cooler than driving sideways? Driving sideways in a limousine! Thing is, as these guys found out, it's not as easy as you might think. Even on a water-soaked skid-pad, that stretched wheelbase is hard to balance with opposite lock. Points for effort, though we would've like to have seen a "Just Married" sign and some tin cans being dragged along off the back.
[sportbilen.se, h/t to Bo!]

Norwegian Hoons Are Audi Wagon Drifting Masters

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 05 May 2008 16:40:00 EDT

Wow, we knew the those viking types had fun storming castles and laying siege to things, but who knew they were also masters of the four wheel drift?These guys do an amazing job with a nice slow controlled drift all the way around some roundabouts in their favorite Audi 100 wagon. Apparently pounding down fish balls and living in darkness half the year gives you superhuman drifting powers. [Break]

Sand Dune Ramping Gone Hilariously Wrong

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 02 May 2008 12:40:00 EDT

From the screen capture, you'd think this is a standard "Hoons misjudge sand dune jump and stuff truck on the other side" deal. Well, you'd be partially right. The actual moronitude of this short but solid gold clip is far funnier than that. Congratulations sirs, you have secured todays Hoon of the Day, though your concussions probably prevent you from recognizing the achievement. [Youtube]

Catastrophic ZAZ Rollover Leaves Russian Hoons Miraculously Unharmed

Murilee Martin — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:40:00 EDT

Where would we be without English Russia? We wouldn't have heard about the Stalinmobile, for starters! Most of all, we'd have to do without the all-important ZAZ hoonage! The Russians can bash 'em into trees, do epic donuts, and- of course- roll 'em. Today, we get to see in-car video of a quartet of Russians taking a Zaporozhets up to the lunatic speed of 90 KM/H, wipe out in spectacular fashion, and walk away from the wreck. That's sure to be a long trudge back to the village for these guys. [English Russia]

Hoon of the Day: Zaporozhets Donuts

Murilee Martin — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:00:00 EDT

We've seen Russian hoons roll a ZAZ and we've seen them smash a ZAZ into a tree. But how about taking the little air-cooled, 26-horse Russian car and adding another 150 or so horsepower? Excellent idea! Of course, when you build such a Zaporozhets, a certain amount of hoonage seems inevitable.

Hit It, Boy! Helmetless, Hopped-Up Power Wheels Hoonage

Murilee Martin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:40:00 EDT

The ATV-assisted Power Wheels hoonage we saw yesterday showed some medium-grade disregard for safety, all right. But how about when you get a younger kid, lose the helmet, and juice up his Power Wheels truck with about ten times the factory power? This boy showcases some serious drifting skills as he lays hard plastic all over his cul-de-sac, ultimately flipping his top-heavy ride. Fortunately, there's a happy ending, without the kid's dome busted on the hard concrete... this time.

ATV Pulls Barbie Power Wheels Jeep, Plastic Tires Have No Traction

Mark Arnold — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:00:00 EDT

Power Wheels are awesome. At least they are for the first couple weeks when you're a 6-year-old. After that, the battery gets weak and you're left wanting for more power. A solution to this need for speed? Why not just have your big brother tow you with his ATV? Oh, but make sure to wear a helmet, because those plastic tires don't grip the road all that well. You'll be sliding all over the place, and well, you might crash into a wall or something. This guy can vouch for it.

Hoon Of The Day: Hauling Zero-Turn Mower Doesn't Improve Handling Skills

Travis Hudson — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:20:00 EDT

CNN has been running this video of a pretty standard, run-of-the-mill highway chase, but what makes it more hilarious and hoon-like is that the driver is hauling a lone, zero-turn radius mower on a trailer. He does a fairly good job driving that truck with the trailer at high speeds, until the mower gets loose and causes him to jackknife the truck. Oh the irony. [CNN via Toolmonger]

Classic Hoon Of The Day: The Greatest Jump Ken Carter Never Made

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:40:00 EDT

The video above video, which we've shown you before, takes a little explanation but, for the uninitiated, it is well worth it. Ken Carter was the great Canadian stunt driver who, initially, undertook the usual types of challenges that you see here in the beginning of this clip. Eventually, he decided he wanted to make one great memorable rocket-powered jump over the St. Lawrence Seaway from Canada into the United States, a distance of nearly a mile. There are numerous attempts to get the funding, the weather and the materials to work. After years he think he's got his jump ready in a 1979 Lincoln Continental in an attempt weirdly similar to The Ramp BMW documentary. Things don't go right and he aborts five second before take-off.

He retreats to his hotel for nine days. The crew, afraid of losing more money, convinces a friend of Carter's to make the jump without Carter's knowledge. The results were disastrous as the car didn't get the speed it needed. The driver survived, but Carter died months later in another stunt before completing this stunt. (h/t Braff) [Youtube, StuntDriver1.com]

Hoon Of The Day: Japanese Car Soccer

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:15:00 EDT

Japan is just the gift that keeps on giving, from kei cars to lovable but bizarre concepts like the the Toyota i-Real, but it's the extracurriculars which make for today's auto amusement. Sure drifting Previas are sexy, but car soccer is a ballet of crushing metal and gigantic balls. How does it work? Take all the rules of regular soccer and play the game with cars. We'll admit the judges seem pretty lax on handing out penalties, and it looks more like a sneaky way to have a demolition derby, but it does look like a lot of laughs. We took the liberty to clip out a section of footage from a game and the whole game is available below — if you're into that kind of thing.

First Half (~8 minutes)

Second Half (~7 minutes)

[Youtube Part 1 and Youtube Part 2, via About Cars]

Underground Street Racing Taken Too Literally In Russia

Mark Arnold — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:00:00 EDT

For most people, underground racing actually happens above ground. But it seems that someone in Russia didn't get the memo. Ok, so you may not technically call this racing, but it sure looks like fun. Besides, do you really expect this guy's friends to follow him down into the subway station just because he misunderstood the figurative definition of the term "underground?" Maybe it was Amelia Bedelia at the wheel. [YouTube]

Hoon Of The Day: 1967 Camaro + Wall = Compact Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:15:00 EDT

It takes a lot of work to build your very own, custom 1967 Camaro drag racer. Though accidentally crashing it doesn't necessarily make you a hoon, taping it from multiple angles and putting the outcome in a video that's book-ended by before-and-after shots is awesome. While the driver and the camera come out of the unfortunate incident without much in the way of damage, the poor Camaro comes out Corolla-sized.[YouTube via Edmunds]

Porsche 911 GT3 Rolls, Literally, Around Corner At The 'Ring

Matt Hardigree — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 23:47:31 EDT

Individuals like driving around the Nürburgring because of the challenge it presents. For instance, you might be coming around a corner with a bit too much speed, correct, then correct again and then end up tires-up waiting for the 100€ wrecker while a couple of smartass mates make quips about how much the different parts of your 911 GT3 will go for on eBay. In this case, the challenge is explaining to your insurance agency what happened. Maybe this unlikely driver can tell them he/she was trying to catch Sabine Schmidt. That's legit, right? [YouTube]

Fiat Gets Forked

Mark Arnold — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:45:00 EDT

What do you do with your little Fiat when you need to get rid of it? Sell it? Bring it to the junkyard? Jump it over a river? Take the body off and reattach it backwards? The hoonin' possibilities are endless. Well, in the UK you apparently just throw the car away. We can't help but think this is wasting a perfectly good LeMons racer. Though ditching a car this way probably does take advantage of a loophole in some sort of obscene car disposal tax law.
[YouTube]

Bubba Drift: 360 Degrees Of El Camino Hoonage

Mark Arnold — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 14:30:00 EDT

Forget, for a moment, any preconceived notions you have about organized drifting events. Clear your mind and watch Bubba Drift's El Camino as it gracefully performs 360-degree drifts with billows of smoke pouring out behind. If this video isn't awesome enough, consider this; while most pro drifters use a manual transmission, the Bubba Drift El Camino uses a GM TH350 3-speed automatic. Because who needs a clutch when you've got plenty of power from a supercharged LS1? [BubbaDrift.com via YouTube]

Hoon Of The Day: News Van Drag Racing

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Oops. While drag racing a news van in a larger market like San Antonio or Houston wouldn't cause such a stir, in El Paso it'll get you fired. The difference? In those big cities they have more live trucks, production vehicles and satellite rigs to cover a war. Chris Bernal, a photographer for KDBC, found out the hard way that heads will roll if you race the station's only live truck. Though they may have thought they had a monopoly on coverage of the event, you can hear someone in the video saying "every cell phone is out" to film it. Oops. [CarScoop, KVIA]

BMW Hoons Take Out Anger On Computer Hardware

Mark Arnold — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:15:00 EST

This reminds us of the scene from Office Space where the guys take a baseball bat to the company's fax machine — only the baseball bat and bare fists have been replaced with a couple '80s Bimmers driven by disgruntled youth. And good for them! We've all been pushed to our frustration limit by technology, so we all know exactly is going through these kids heads as they unleash the payback. Maybe this is even a protest against all those ~~Bangled~~ newfangled modern BMWs with their whiz-bang iDrive systems and their programmable differential and gearbox settings. Power to the people.
[YouTube]

Good Clean Rental Car Fun On A Frozen Lake

Mark Arnold — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:30:00 EST

Those Canadians are always trying to kill time in the winter. Even the clean-cut youth like these kids feel the need to get a rental car and bring it over to the frozen lake for some hoonage. They warm up with some trunk-skiing, but then progress to the obligatory reverse 180 spins. And what's this season's hoon-tivity of choice? That's right, ghost riding! We wonder, would the car falling through the ice be covered in the rental insurance?

[YouTube]

Hoon Of The Day: How Many Licks To Get This Toyota To Blow Up?

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:15:00 EST

Today's hoons are following in the grand tradition established by Top Gear of trying to destroy Toyota trucks. Unfortunately, we don't have anything quite as cool as a Toyota Hilux to mangle. As with the Hilux, it takes a serious amount of full-throttle reverse action to put the hurt on this already well-worn Toyota pickup. If only there was a body of water around to give it the old high tide treatment. Don't try this in your new Tundra. [YouTube]

Hoon Of The Day: Leap Day Edition

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:00:00 EST

We've brought you some of the best Leap Year themed jackassery we could find today, and now it's your turn to decide which one takes todays hoon of the day crown. We realize that whittling down such stupidity to a clear and decisive winner may be a bit much to ask, but we have a feeling you have it in there somewhere. Just take a moment to think about this Leap Day Celebration, and then ask "What Would The Duke Boys Do?"

First up was the less than stellar proto-hoon burm ramping that ended in bruised udders: This of course was followed by the invincible shirtless Canadian hoon who did his best to make a Civic shaped hole in the road - ouch: Next we saw a double helping of great jumps topped off with a dollop of tree shaking ending Tree crash #1: Tree Crash #2: Perhaps stretching the definition of hoonage, but still an impressive leap day showing was the hopping air-powered Cutlass: Who says the amateurs get to have all the fun? The montage of pulse raising World Rally jumps set to Van Halen's Jump seemed wildly appropriate for the day didn't it? Next up was the junkyard shenanigans of some guys with a joyful number of disposable automobiles: So there you go folks, all of the Leap Day Celebration Entries. Some are certainly better at being hoons than others, but we figured we'd give some of the underdogs a shot, who does it hurt. Remember, just like a Florida election, vote away and vote often.

Professional Hoonage: A History Of Rally Jumps

Mark Arnold — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:15:00 EST

Ok, enough of all this drunken amateur Leap Day hoonage. I mean, I've got nothing against ~~hosers~~ Canadians killing time up in the great white north; but I think it's time to see how the professionals do it. So, we present to you a montage in tribute to the illustrious history of rally jumps. Spanning over many years and countries, these guys definitely knew what they were doing.

[YouTube]

Watch Out For That Tree!

Mark Arnold — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:30:00 EST

This nomination for Hoon Of The Leap Day is all about the graceful finish. Both drivers get some decent air on their backwoods jumps, but they don't stop there. While most hoons crash during the jump or upon landing, these guys added a bonus crash after the jump.
Warning: Mandatory NSFW language on the second video.

[You Tube]

Fast And Furious Chinese Drifting With Pregnant Passengerey

Mark Arnold — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:00:00 EST

We're not so sure that drifting is a sport, but that doesn't stop those Chinese hoons from doing it. Yep, the language of drifting has apparently been ~~outsourced~~ translated into Mandarin. The Chinese apparently prefer to drift in... Japanese cars. What? Were you expecting a BYD? But wait, they haven't just ripped off the drifting formula and made it cheaper... they genuinely added something to the not-sport. Yes, we now have drifting with a pregnant woman riding shotgun— and in public traffic no less! Yes, that child is gonna be a real hoon prodigy.

Update: Ok, so the video was probably made in Hong Kong, and that language is Cantonese. Time for us to brush up on our foreign languages.
We tried to translate the video's description and came up with "Qian Chiale the official graciousness elegant television propagandizes the short film." Indeed.
[YouTube]

Subaru With Tracks Opens Up New World of Hoonage

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:00:00 EST

While driving up and down the street ripping e-brake turns in the snow while driving your Subaru Justy is cool and all, it ranks low on the old hoon-o-meter. Do the same thing with a set of Mattracks and an exhaust note reminiscent of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse raining down terror on civilization and the result is a bit different. Really, can winter life get any better? Subaru Justy. Tracks. Straight pipes. Snow. Yeeeeeeeeeeehaw! Next, tracked Justy attempts 60 mph kamikaze run through 10 foot snow drifts, accidentally jumps drift.

Turbo Trailer Pops Up Wheelies

Mark Arnold — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 15:15:00 EST

Camping is a great way to break free of the urban jungle and enjoy the great outdoors. But what to do if you can't afford a nice motorhome, and you really don't want to put a trailer hitch on your little Renault? Just drop that engine into an old camping trailer! Ok, so you could just go tent camping, but then you wouldn't be able to enjoy all the wheelstandin' hoonage of your 105hp 1.4L turbo camper. Just imagine the looks on the faces of your fellow motorists as you cruise down the turnpike!

[YouTube]

Hoon Of The Day: Maximum Wagon Day Edition

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:40:00 EST

Subaru wagons are Japan's gift to utilitarian wagon lovers everywhere. Once chided for their boxy styling and conservative power numbers, Subies have morphed into oddly bulbous, fire-breathing all-wheel-drive sleepers. But even back when they were boxy and slow, they were bulletproof. Seems a couple Connecticuter hoons wanted to test the mettle of this Subaru Loyale with a little bit of field jumping. (As is proper custom, this montage is accompanied by the NSFW lyrics of Adam Sandler's Piece of Shit Car)

Turbo Rolls-Royce Races 'Round The 'Ring

Mark Arnold — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:40:00 EST

Who says a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow can't be a trackday toy? Not the guys from the British rag that's all about Performance Cars that are Practical. They wanted a vehicle that could do a lap of the Nürburgring in under 10 minutes while comfortably seating five adults. Sure you could just get a new Audi or a BMW and call it a day, but they wanted something different, something with real style. So they picked up an old Rolls with a 6.75L V8 (and a 3-speed autobox), slapped a T4 turbo on, cranked up the boost, and headed for Germany. [Warning: Potentially NSFW Hilarious British Cussing In Video]

Of course, no rat rod Rolls would be complete without flat-black paint. And being a track car, the tires and suspension were upgraded as well. But overall this is still a proper Roller, fit for that certain head-of-state hoon who wants to have a bit of fun from the back seat.

[Practical Performance Car] [YouTube]

Saudi Drifting: Now With Pedestrian Safety!

Mark Arnold — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:45:00 EST

So, you're sitting at your computer, chain-watching videos of FWD family sedans being driven sideways by Saudis... all the while thinking these guys have no regard for public safety. Think again! Apparently those Honda Accords have some sort of Middle East market-specific soft bumper/fender technology. Either that, or this pedestrian onlooker was just really lucky.

[via YouTube]

Dukes of Hazzard: Subaru Snow Day Edition

Travis Hudson — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 13:45:00 EST

If only it snowed more down in Hazzard County, Georgia, I'm sure the Duke Boys would have had as much fun as these chaps did in this Subaru. This car was supposedly bought with the sole intention of performing a 68-foot snow jump. Mission accomplished! The little-Subie-that-could manages to gain some air time and doesn't kill anyone. Cooter would have been impressed. Them Subies, them Subies... Who needs a freaking '69 Charger named after a defeated Virginian militarist, anyway? [MySpaceTV]

Wildly Unprofessional Traffic Reporter Does Not Ease Your Pain

Travis Hudson — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 14:30:00 EST

It's debatable whether a traffic reporter could be slapped with the hoon label, particularly if she's not even in a car. but in this case she is very deserving. The video in question is from a Friday, and not only does traffic girl not sympathize with whatever anxiety viewers might be experiencing as far as pre-weekend snarls and jams go, she decides to throw it all in their faces by... well, just watch the video and see what she decides to do. Words fail me. Regardless, that's no way to start the day. Then again, it's New Jersey, so we probably shouldn't expect anything better. It's definitely some hooning, though. [Funnieststuff]

In Russia, Public Streets Make Donuts for YOU!

Mark Arnold — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 09:45:00 EST

You have to respect a guy who owns an expensive high-performance car and isn't afraid to drive on salty winter roads. Locking your supercar in the garage for the winter just because you don't want it to get dirty deprives you of enjoying the most fun driving conditions of the whole year. There's snowy roads, icy roads, and then theres wet-'n-salty roads! Ok, so your typical Beverly Hills supercar owner wouldn't dream of ever driving in anything worse than partly cloudy conditions. But in Mother Russia, who cares?! Go ahead and drive your Audi R8 in the winter! It's got Quattro, use it! Abuse it! Can't find an empty parking lot to hoon around in? Do donuts in the middle of a public street! Oncoming traffic? In Russia, traffic stops for YOU!

Regard for public safety is on notice.
[YouTube]

How NOT To Lift An Overturned Truck

Travis Hudson — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 14:15:00 EST

I remember back in the day when I was a young lad first learning how to drive a manual transmission. My father repeated one essential learning point to me over and over: "Son, treat your parking brake like your [colorful term for a part of the male anatomy]—always grab it, touch it and most importantly, use it." And to this date I have followed those guidelines and never yet had to deal with a runaway vehicle. These hoons, on the other hand, haven't followed my old man's wisdom. Such a simple thing, so easy to overlook. I guess they could always claim a wonky throttle. [Neatorama]

Drunk Old Coot Leaves Plymouth Minivan On Tracks To Be Hit By Two Trains

Ray Wert — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:00:00 EST

Today's Hoon of the Day comes to us from NBC's Today Show and the little city of Hinsdale, IL. Here's what happened. At about 5:42 p.m. on Monday, 72-year-old Franciszek Chudzik drove over a train crossing in downtown Hinsdale and attempted to make a left turn onto the third set of tracks of the Burlington Northern Santa Fe line, according to witnesses. The same witnesses claim they next saw Chudzik get stuck on the tracks — as a '96 Plymouth Voyager is wont to do — and unable to move his van off the tracks, he then got out, put the keys in his pocket and walked off. But wait, it gets better.

Reporters approached emergency personnel, asking about the condition of the driver. "I am the driver of the car," Chudzik told one reporter while chuckling. The reporters noted the 72-year-old smelled of alcohol and wobbled when he walked. In a move that was no surprise to those on scene, Chudzik was then arrested and placed in a police car after officers conducted two sobriety tests. Chudzik's now been charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, having a blood-alcohol content of more than .08 and trespassing on railroad property. [via Today Show]