Says Mr. van der Poll:

The car was built in about four weeks last year for an exhibition. It has a external brake leaver and the pedal for the clutch and throttle are visibly connected by wires running through the center of the open chassis.The black tubing you see sticking out of the car is actually a small auxiliary tank madeextinghuiser.The from a fire extinghuiser. The car is meant as a design statement and is not certified for road use. It is still in my collection.

Old memes never die, they just want you (like L7) to pretend that they're dead. After the jump, Johnson and Lieberman get punny with the tenacity of portly men in blue and gray wool who just won't let that whole Civil War thing drop. Praise the Lord and pass the ketchup packets.

Davey G.: FAF?
Loverman: DAFFY!
Davey G.: FAF-ESQUE!
Loverman: DAFEATIST!
Davey G.: FAFFARE!
DAFEOICA PUDDING!
Davey G.: POMP AND CIRCUMFAF!
Loverman: DAFUHRER!! (beat that)
Davey G.: THE FAFHATTAN PROJECT!
Loverman: DUDE! That was the next one I was working on!
OK, hang on
Davey G.: Haha!
Loverman: ZACK BRAFF SUCKS!
Davey G.: YES HE DOES!
I saw "The Last Kiss" last night. It was awful.
BRAFF < FAF or DAF!
Loverman: True DAF!
DON'T WORSHIP THE GOLDEN DAF
Davey G.: OR THE GOLDEN GIRFAF(FE).
Loverman: FRIED CHICKEN AND DAFFED POTATOES!
Davey G.: ROWAN & MARTIN'S FAF-IN!
Loverman: DAFOTA FANNING!
Davey G.: SUPREME COURT JUSTICE FELIX FAFFURTER!
Loverman: NORTH DAFOTA & SOUTH DAFOTA
Davey G.: BAKERSFAF, CALIFAFIA!
Loverman: DAFMEMBER
Davey G.: FAFUARY!
Loverman: DAF OF JULY!
Davey G.: FAFADA DAY!
Loverman: DAFTASTIC!
Davey G.: FAFSTILLE DAY!
Loverman: DAFTOPIA!
Davey G.: FAFSI COLA!
Loverman: COOL RANCH FAFRITOS!
I mean DAFRITOS!
Fuck
Davey G.: THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF FAFFER DAY SAINTS!
Loverman: DAFENTOLOGISTS!
Davey G.: SEVENTH-DAY FAFVENTISTS!
Loverman: JEWS!
Davey G.: ROMAN FAFOLICS!
Loverman: Uh... BORN AGAIN DAF PEOPLE
Davey G.: SOUTHERN FAFTISTS!
POPE JOHN PAUL THE FAF!
Loverman: DAFSTFARIANS
Davey G.: PRACTITIONERS OF FAFTERIA!
Loverman: DAFDAF
or would that be VOODAF?
Davey G.: Probably VOODAF.
Loverman: EAT AT THE DAFATERIA
Davey G.: NICK CAVE AND THE FAF SEEDS!
Loverman: DAFMEANSDAF
OPEDAF
or... ODAF
Davey G.: MINOR FAF!
Loverman: BRUCE DAFSTEEN AND THE DAF STREET BAND
DAF FLAG
BLACK DAF
Davey G.: THE FAF PUPPETS!
MISSION OF FAF!
BLACK FAFFATH!
Loverman: ITALIAN DAFIA
Davey G.: SWEDISH FAFIA!
Loverman: Man... you win.

But Johnson, much like Inspector Gadget, has only won this round; rest assured that this kind of crap goes on all too often here at tha Jalop. And so it shall go for eternity, or at least until one of the two of us succumbs to maladies brought on by our cigarette consumption.

Related:
Want to Know What Los Jalops Actually Talk About? [Internal]

We don't speak Hollandaise, but we do enjoy us some wacky Dutchness. Here, we get some classic footage of the DAF 600 (aka the Dafodil) in both sedan and Dafamino guise. And then, just when you think you've seen it all, the Dafamino converts into a sedan! Hell, even Wert should be able to get behind this car. Still no FAF, but undeniably rad. – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
You Want Weird? DAF/Jan de Rooy/Dakar Celebration Polka [Internal]

In the DAF vs. FAF war, the FAF, despite our readers' severe glaucoma and one J. Loverman's anti-French propaganda, was indisputably the cooler vehicle. Regardless, we would like to take a moment to note that we'd like to belatedly congratuate DAF — now a unit of American conglomerate PACCAR (while Citroën remains defiantly French and er, under the ownership of Peugeot) — on the construction of three-quarters of a million beasts of burden. That's right, on April 19th, the 750,000th DAF truck rolled off the line in Eindhoven. The company currently has no plans to introduce the Variomatic to the international trucking market, which is a shame, because what's better than backwords semi tractor racing? Very little, we tell you what. – Davey G. Johnson

DAF Trucks

Related:
The Great DAF vs. FAF Controversy [Internal]

Truth be told, we're not exactly sure how Spyker's financed. We know there're a lot of Middle Eastern bux involved and company co-founder Victor Muller is obviously a rather well-off individual. He'd told us less than a year ago that the company was a year from profitability, bought an F1 team and then announced profitability at the LA Auto Show. Now, of course, Muller has stepped down as CEO and Michiel Mol, the man in charge of Spyker's F1 outfit is holding the temporary reins. And Spyker has just secured 12.5 million more euros in financing "to satisfy its short-term liquidity position," according to a bit at Forbes' site and is bringing in consulting behemoth Booz Allen Hamiltion, the firm that royally screwed up the upgrade of the Muni trains back in '98, to review the company's product line and brainstorm future directions.

In the meantime, the new cash comes from a line-extension from Luxembourg-based Trafalgar capital, a 7.5-eur injection from a current investor, and a cool 2.5 from another bank. The company has also confirmed that back in September, it mortgaged its brand with Friesland Bank, something Spyker says is "common practice." With so much expansion so soon, an apparent restructuring, and the stepping aside of the company's founder after a massive acquisition like an underperforming F1 team that will require a serious long-term investment of time and capital to make work (something Muller was completely frank about during his speech at the LA Auto Show), we're a little worried about Spyker right now. We want them to succeed; they're heirs to the wild-hair-up-my-ass-let's-start-a-car-company sense of craziness that made the auto industry great in the first place. – Davey G. Johnson

Spyker Cars secures additional 12.5 mln eur financing; works on refinancing plan [Forbes]

Related:
Victor Muller Steps Down as Spyker CEO [Internal]

Davey, we know you tried. We give you props for that. And yeah, Grace Jones eating a CX is pretty oddball. But Grace Jones would have put any old car in her mouth. And you can't argue that. However, this video is truly bizarre. Imagine if you will a NASCAR team celebrating a major win in this fashion. Having trouble? OK, now think of any sports team any where in the world performing a song and dance like this. Curling doesn't count. No, only the Dutch are insane enough to celebrate Jan de Rooy winning the 1987 Paris Dakar in his beyond amazing dual-engined DAF Turbo Twin II by filming a polka video featuring the entire race crew. Also, I believe the guy in the glasses sings, "Citroen Kaput!" In your pipe, Johnson. Start smoking. – Jonny Lieberman

Team de Rooy [dakar-derooy.com]

Related:
Double-Radder Than Anything You Could Possibly Imagine: The DAF Turbo Twin II!!! | DAF vs. FAF [Internal]

Ever make the perfect purchase? It doesn't matter whether it costs ten million dollars or six euros, it's something you simply must own, and if it's remotely within your wherewithal to do so, you are helpless to resist. Such was the case with this suction-cupped DAF banner meant for the windshield of a long-haul truck. We employed it in various fashions from the point we picked it up at a Hellenic truck stop. In fact, we slept with it last night. We expect the Loverman to shoot us in a fit of jealous rage in the time it takes between the moment this post goes up and the far end of the E.T. between the endpoints of the 110 freeway. Sorry, Loverman, you lengthy lothario you. We await our demise. Bis später! (Note, one of these photos might be NSFW.) – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
More DAF! [Internal]

"Yesterday in Holland a Ferrari 599 just burned spontaniously...They were standing at the traffic-lights and then they saw some flames passengers are oke...The car was in the Dutch Ferrari 60 Relay 2 day's ago also."

Ferrari 599 GTB in de hens [Autogespot.com]

Related:
Fates Smite Vetteamino!; Long Island Corvette Z06 Has One Last Smokey Burnout; Fonctionnement! Fonctionnement! Sauvage dans les Rues! 400 Cars Torched in France [internal]

The Mercedes CL65 dropped like a big chunk of Afghani hash at the AutoRAI in Amsterdam earlier today. According to the press release, translated by World Car Fans, the tuner CL will get a 612-hp version of AMG's booster-rocket V12. That's the six-point-oh-mein-gott-liter, twin-turbo devastation engine, hand-signed by its factory endower. That gives it a zero-to-62 mph time of 4.4 seconds, though the electronically limited top speed of 155 mph can only be unhooked in exchange for a large quantity of cash, and only in the home country. We'll know more when AMG releases the goods later today. – Mike Spinelli

Mercedes-Benz CL 65 AMG Unveiled [World Car Fans]

Related:
Spy Photos: Mercedes-Benz AMG CL 65 [internal]

Last fall, after the Paris Auto Show, I hopped the Thalys train to Amsterdam. It was my first time on a TGV, and other than the fact that the loos stunk to high heaven and the whiny kid who caused the occupants off the carriage to cheer when he and his idiotic mother exited somewhere around Rotterdam, it was a wonderful travel experience. I grabbed a hotel room and set off in search of my pal Aziz. If in Amsterdam, Los Jalops recommend a visit to his shop, Independent Outlet, as it is simply the business. We spent the evening tooling around town on bicycles, hitting the city's rock 'n' roll bars. And then not an hour or two before the time bell rang, we happened upon a man with salt-and-pepper hair wearing a denim Turbojugend jacket. Aziz said, "Hey! Dave! That's Tony Slug!" Tony had written for Hit List, a punkzine I'd art-directed and written for back around the turn of the century. More importantly, Tony had penned the immortal line, "I'll fuck you in the ass with glazed ham, bitch!"

In the same forum, he'd also written, "I walk through Death Valley with no pants on!" Which is almost as awesome. A Dutchman who meanders through the lowest, hottest place in North America sans coulottes, sodomizes infidels with generous portions of pork products and wears a Turbonegro jacket seems like a man one shouldn't trifle with. Tony was one of the guys who kickstarted the punk scene in Amsterdam and remains an ardent supporter of rock 'n' roll to this day. He also turned out to be a very cool guy. At this point, one entirely must wonder about what this could possibly have to do with automobiles, other than me entering into some belated rant about backwards DAFs spinning donuts across Amsterdam's bridges.

Au contraire, Jalopnik freres! It has everything to do with automobiles, and let me say that I'm a bit bummed I didn't post this a week ago, as by the time this goes up, he'll have a new spiel up on the site. Now and then, Sweet Peet goes into reruns, so last week, I didn't bother to touch on the latest goings-on at Autoextremist, as he'd reposted a reflection on growing up a block away from Bill Mitchell. And since Peet only leaves his screeds up for a week, it'll be replaced by the time you read this. But it's definitely a piece that reflects on the awesomeness of Detroit in the '60s from somebody who was there.

And it was! The Stooges! The MC5! Riots! The Hemi! The Ford Cammer! The Ramchargers! The ZL-1! Super Duty! Superbird! The new '67 GTO my friend's dad bought with a 421 in it so secret he didn't even know it had a 421 until he tried to buy a part for the car's supposed 389 and it didn't fit! The Goat also apparently ran like an oxyacetylene-scalded cat on the salt.

And that, friends, is the rub. Peet says of the days of scotch und shteel:

These Car Kings worked flat-out, and they partied flat-out, too, ruling their fiefdoms with iron fists while wielding their power ruthlessly at times to get what they wanted - and rightly so in their minds - as they were some of the most powerful business executives on earth. In short, it was a world that was 180 degrees different from what goes on in today's rigid, namby-pamby, never-have-a-point-of-view-and-never-take-a-stand automotive environment.

I spent years working as a graphic designer. I know the many strictures that one ends up with when coming up with product — and it gets harder all the time as one scrambles for new ideas. So quit. Do something else. But don't, whatever you do, suck. And managers? Give your designers and engineers what they need not to be lame. Bean-counting the creatives to death is the reason you're now bean-counting those in the manufacturing sector to death. Trickle-down economics, yo. Duh. Chuh. Etcetera.

While we often find ourselves at odds with Peter, the man has been known to really nail it when he gets to the heart of what this industry's about; how it connects to people, and more than Chris Bangle's statements about five-axis design, His Sweetness really nails the is in what it is in the following paragraph:

If anything, we must remember what really matters in this business above all else - something he instinctively knew in his gut - and that is to never forget the essence of the machine, and what makes it a living, breathing mechanical conduit of our hopes and dreams. And that in the course of designing, engineering and building these machines everyone needs to aim higher and push harder - with a relentless, unwavering passion and love for the automobile that is so powerful and unyielding that it can't be beaten down by committee-think or buried in bureaucratic mediocrity.

Essentially, there is a lack of awesome happening in the automotive mainstream. We've hamstrung our best and strung up our brightest while letting second-stringers run the show. The Chevy Cobalt, as decent a product it is, with a motor that can be built to ridiculous levels of horsepower, will never quite out-rad the original Valiant. There is hope. There are Chrysler 300s and Continental GTs and Ford's kinetic design language. There is the C30. None of these things suck. There are Aston Martins. In a world where the Ecotec is derided for being thrashy and anything less than 500hp in a car over 70k brands one as lacking in the testicular department, powertrain development has come a long way. On the other hand, would you rather drive a Yaris or a a vintage Starlet? Underpowered as it was, it was fun. The Yaris is unfun. Cars are too serious these days. They've been focus-grouped into hell. The RS 4 is a notable exception — Audi followed the classic muscle car dictum and largely succeeded, although I think the basic premise of the B6 platform is deeply flawed. Even BMW's vaunted "Ve do vhat ve vant in ze service of Bruce" M division got compromised when it came to the manual M5.

It is time to take the blandness away from those who construct abacuses of legumes for a living and get industry-type hands in there and fondle what the people are all about instead of just asking them. Because let's face it. The sad reality is that most of those morons are lucky to be able to tie their shoes, even if they are pulling down the scrill required to play in your desired demographic. Probe the zeitgeist for intangibles and set phasers for "totally fucking rocking." Don't give them what they want. Give them what they don't know they want in a form they never knew they wanted. Don't build the Jeep Compass.

Dear automotive designers and engineers: from the ashes of this golden age of confusion, the design recruits have the opportunity to be known as the new generation of apocalypse dudes. The glazed ham is in your hands, people. Take a hint from Mitchell: use it like Tony Slug would. – Davey G. Johnson

Autoextremist

Related:
A Bit About Wealthy-Guy Car Culture

Normally, when commenters post awesome links on the site, we let them have the glory. And we are giving commenter rgseidl all the credit for this one, but we had to bring it to the wider attention of our readership. Imagine all of the glory of the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show, crossed with with rank amateurishness, oddball European cars, strange homebuilt specials, a Corvair-engined dune buggy losing a backwards drag race to a Subaru-liveried DAF and a Messerschmitt up on two wheels. Then add the fabulous backdrop of late-'70s fashion and a Dutch announcer who lapses into creepy voices. Top it off with DAFs in reverse crashing spectacularly at Zandvoort and well, this, dear followers of tha Jalop, is a nugget of pure, unadulterated amazingness. This, friends, is the glory of the August 1st, 1978 episode of Te Land, Ter Zee en In De Lucht. Avoid it at your peril. You will be a better person for having watched. We guarantee it's likely to be the best 50-or-so minutes of your day. [/end superlatives] – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
Sir Jack Stole the Clutch! Brabham-Daf Formula 3 Car! [Internal]

Dutch authorities have incinerated three tons of hashish found after a van crashed about 20 miles north of Amsterdam, spilling some of its THC-laced cargo across the accident site. The driver and passenger made like proper Dutchmen and flew, leaving the law enforcement agents with a wrecked vehicle and $20,000,000 in drugs. Woody Harrelson was reportedly spotted hanging around the incinerator's smokestack. – Davey G. Johnson

Dutch crash burns 3 tons of hash [SFGate]

Related:
Weeding Out Good Used Cars: New Mexico Man Finds 22 Pounds Of Pot In Newly-Purchased Used Car [Internal]

Dutch specialty car builder Donkervoort (whose funny Dutchness belies a lack of humorous meaning) revealed the D8 GT it plans to unveil at the Geneva Show next month. For those unaware of Donkervoort's charms, it's a purveyor of batshit mad Lotus Seven-style sports cars like the 270 RS. The D8 GT is a coupe, whose carbon-fiber roof provides extra rigidity, though whose scissor doors add needless glam. Under the hood is the Donk's customary Audi-sourced 1.8 turbo four, producing 180, 210 or 270 horsepower. Expect around 50 D8 GTs to be produced per year, and sold at a price of around $120,000 each. – Mike Spinelli

Press Release:

PRESS RELEASE: 19 February 2007 - For the first time in almost 30 years of our company history, we will introduce an all new, closed sports car. The Donkervoort D8 GT is delivered with the well-known Audi four cylinder turbo engine with 180, 210 or 270 horsepower. Although it is based on the current D8 version, the D8 GT embodies a number of new high-tech features. The important and world famous Geneva Motorshow is chosen as the scene for the introduction of the car, that will set a new tone in the segment of ultra light sports cars. During the Geneva Motorshow, the Donkervoort D8 GT can be viewed on stand 1131.

In comparison with the open D8 version, major changes have been done so the D8 GT can be seen as a totally new concept that visualises the future Donkervoorts. These changes are not only limited to it's new appearance, but also it's high-tech setup form a new standard by means of weight reduction and safety in the segment of ultra light weight sports cars. All together, the D8 GT will be faster, safer and more responsive to drive than the D8. We have a positive history with closed cars. The car in which our German Donkervoort dealer, Michael D chting, has already broken the well-known lap record at the Nordschleife circuit was fitted with an experimental hard-top. The D8 GT was developed on the basis of this experience and this means that we think that there is a good chance to improve on this record once again.

Better road handling
The D8 GT is built on the same chassis as the standard D8 but this has been altered in a number of areas. As the new carbon fibre roof forms a structural part in the chassis / body, the torsional stiffness of the assembly has been significantly improved by 25% This more rigid body / chassis and the new suspension enable the D8 GT to steer more accurately and precisely. The objective is to create a smoother but also sharper ride. Therefore, the front wheel suspension is new and the rear wheel suspension has been modified for the larger, special developed 17 inch wheels with a weight of only 6.5 kg. The front track and rear track have been increased by eight and four centimetres respectively, in order to create a smoother ride. Special shock absorbers have also been developed. They are provided with not only a hydraulic ride height-adjustment but also the option to adjust the stiffness of the damping in high and low frequencies. Also the brake system has been improved by the new 6 piston alloy callipers and the larger 300mm discs with alloy bells.

Light weight
The special use of ultra light materials where possible, makes it possible to achieve the objective of a total weight of the car of 650 kg. For example, the coup roof is made from two layers of carbon fibre with an integrated roll-cage in between. The ultra light windows are made of polycarbonate, an application specifically developed by GEplastics for the D8 GT, it does not only incorporate ceramic layers for wiper applications it also includes a rear window electric heating. The doors, which are opened upwards and to the front, are also made of carbon fibre. The polycarbonate side windows can be partly opened.

Aerodynamics
The higher speed potential of the D8 GT is achieved through decreased air resistance and the improved down force. The improved Cw value is due to both the smooth coup roof and the horizontal winglets left and right in which the rear lights are housed. These winglets alone reduce the air resistance by 5%. The under tray is sealed over its entire length with a carbon fibre sandwich plate. This enables the diffuser to work more effectively and real down force is generated. This is a significant step in comparison with the open D8 which is subject to minor lift at high speed. The carbon fibre under plate also contributes significantly to the rigidity of the chassis. The D8 GT is 30 centimetres longer than an open D8, but the wheelbase is the same. The overhang is 8 cm longer at the front and 22 cm at the rear. This has been done primarily to improve the aerodynamics.

Safety
The increased level of active safety of the D8 GT is achieved due to the down force, the increased rigidity of the chassis and the new wheel suspension. The sum total of this should mean not only higher cornering speed levels, but also a safer ride by the combination of smoothness and sharpness. Increased levels of passive safety are the result of the integrated roll-cage which offers a higher level of protection and the crash-zones in the nose and tail. The two vertical vents in the rear are exhaust outlets for the warm air generated by the brakes and the differential. They have been built and strengthened so that both vents and the air tunnels behind them form strong crash boxes which provide resistance in the event of a collision from the rear. The under tray also contributes to the crash resistance of the vehicle by making the chassis extremely resistant to distortion.

Styling
The thrilling and aggressive looks from the D8 GT are the result of its technical features: form follows function. All details on the car have a technical meaning. The wider nose of the car is necessary to house the extra oil and water coolers left and right. New Xenon headlamps have been integrated in the wider nose, also to improve the aerodynamics. These details give the car a new appearance. An important styling element on the back of the car is the diffuser. It creates an effective air stream and leads away the hot air from both the differential and the exhaust. The big openings in the tail also function as cooling ducts. Other styling features are the aerodynamic wings that create down force and in the mean time house the rear lamps of the car.

We plan a maximum production of 50 D8 GT's per year. Export prices start at 90.000,- euro.

Related:
Dutch Treat, Redux: Donkervoort D8 GT Coming to Geneva [internal]

First of all, yes: anything Dutch and auto-related makes us hot and bothered. Second of all, the Romans had mad roadage. 53,000 miles of highway, to be precise. This allowed those skirt-wearing legionaries to quickly spread out across the empire and bop upstart Vandals and Visigoths on the noggins when the barbarians got out of line. These roads also allowed a certain Elephant loving Hun to, you know, sack the shit out of Rome. Still, the fact that the Romans were building roads over 2,000-years before anybody bothered to invent the automobile shows just how forward thinking our Italian forefathers were. I mean, do you think the Dutch even knew that DAF was coming? – Jonny Lieberman

Ancient Roman road found in Netherlands [Irish Examiner]

Related:
How Van Gogh REALLY Lost His Ear: The Dukes of Holland [Internal]

While we'll forever smile at the goofy little Segway for almost succeeding where so many pretzels assassins haven't even bothered to try, we're with the Dutch on this one. The rent-a-authority-figures outside our favorite pub ride Segways. And they do nothing but wear loud yellow shirts and get in the way of people on foot as they uselessly zip around hitting on underage Asian girls. Plus, like, how stoned do you have to be to think upright electric scooters are in anyway cool? For reals; even the working gals in the windows would refuse your nerdy money. Though, if those dual electric motors were driving rubber bands... Naw, they'd still be lame. – Jonny Lieberman

Segways Verboten In Netherlands [channel3000]

Related:
Because Cops Don't Look Dorky Enough on Segways: The T3 Motion [Internal]