You gotta track yer ute in Australia, mate!
Welcome to Paper Jam, a new feature where we highlight the best automotive advertisements from the past! Print might be nearly dead, but our scanners are just getting warmed up.
Today, Craig Lowndes claimed his sixth ever Bathurst 1000 win with help from codriver Steven Richards. It was also a thirtieth win for Holden at the Australian endurance classic, and it came after an unbelievable six-car melee for the lead at the end. How is this man so fast? Let’s hop onboard his car and see.
My Aussie friend Dave is a real muscle car fanatic who doesn’t take kindly of some electric car claiming to be the fastest sedan on the planet. To prove Elon Musk wrong, he went for a drag race between a Tesla and a V8 Supercar.
Australia is the birthplace of the term 'hoon,' and has a host of strong anti-driving laws to keep bogans from drunkenly doing donuts on peoples' lawns. Here's one effort to reconcile a bit.
So you know how everyone's going batshit about the ambiguous color of a dress? Because now that everyone in the world can now talk about the same shit at once, we're going bonkers? Well, Holden's quick-acting ad team may have made the best advertising-bandwagon-jumping response yet:
That's not gone well, has it?
As a "tribute" to the iconic two-door station wagons of Holden Australia's yesteryear, Red Bull and Triple Eight Engineering have cooked up this insane shooting brake with 705 BHP, full racing suspension, and... surfboard racks.
The music! The clothes! The hair! If you loved the 80s, this Holden Barina commercial might just be too 80s even for you. And if you're glad that particular decade has been consigned to the dustbin of history, well you might just find this the stuff of nightmares. This just may be the 80est of 80s Suzuki Swift…
GM's Australian automaker Holden, famous for beastly "El Camino"-style cars with pickup beds and massive engines, is shutting its doors in 2017. But before the company goes out of business, they're reportedly cranking out their fastest-ever utility car.
An Australian man is selling his 1999 Holden Barina Limited Edition City. Rather than park it on the side of the road with a "For Sale" sign, David Johns used his experience as a digital ad director to create a commercial that "redefines" how to sell a beater.
Whenever we write about a new General Motors recall — which is often, these days — one of you jokers inevitably says "Wouldn't it be faster to make a list of GM cars that HAVEN'T been recalled?" Well, after going through today's infographic, it seems the Aussie Pontiacs are safe so far.
It's a Vauxhall VXR8 GTS against a Mercedes E63 AMG, but while the Merc is slightly faster off the line, that's not what I care about. Given that the Chevrolet SS is getting a manual next year, would you buy that or the Vauxhall if you could?
Oh, you have a two stroke chainsaw huh? Think it's cool, do ya? Well, we see your little two-stroke and raise you a 4.1-liter V8 chainsaw.
GM will no longer be building Holdens in Australia, but in their eagerness to prove to Australians they haven't been forgotten, they may have produced another very valuable product of the auto industry: a leak. In this case, what may be a future Buick/Holden sedan concept.
With GM wrapping up auto manufacturing in Australia by 2017, those newer GM RWD cars like the Chevy SS and Caprice cop car need to be built somewhere, and that somewhere could be America. That means after years of getting secret Holdens in the US, we'll be doing the opposite, sending US-built GMs as Holdens.
What could make the news of GM phasing out Australian production worse for Holden fans? Maybe it'll be when the beloved Commodore line is turned into a, gasp, front-wheel driven four-cylinder sedan. From China, no less. Bad news for hoonage fans.
This is The Morning Shift, our one-stop daily roundup of all the auto news that's actually important — all in one place at 9:30 AM. Or, you could spend all day waiting for other sites to parse it out to you one story at a time. Isn't your time more important?