An as-yet-unidentified system glitch resulted in the $81 billion charge which was only discovered after Zamora was informed his credit car had been maxed out, a couple billion times over. After arguing with Paypal's broken-English service division in India, Zamora was eventually able to convince the creditors he hadn't filled his Camaro up more than 3.1 billion times (or alternately gas hadn't gone to $5,920,060,866 a gallon) the charge was removed. Juan's moral of the story: "Pay cash." [Consumer Energy Report]

That's right, for every extra smug mile you travel on a gallon of gas, that's less money going into the federal highway coffers. And you bicycle riders...don't even get us started. If you're not going to buy gas, even just to squirrel away, Unabomber-style, then you shouldn't be riding on public roads. You gotta pay to play, boss. So don't complain when your Honda Fit falls into a pothole and we gotta come haul you out with our asphalt-financing Expedition EL — "Extra-Long" — because we just like what that says about us. You gotta burn gas to lay pavement, and if you don't like it then just swim your ass back to Russia, ya commie. [Green Car Congress; Photo Credit: Free-StockPhotos.com]

5. Less Congestion
Higher gas prices mean fewer people driving and more people taking public transit or telecommuting. The most obvious benefit for the real driver is that it opens up the road to those who travel for fun by removing those who merely commute out of necessity. This results in less traffic and, not surprisingly, fewer traffic fatalities, thanks in part to people keeping their Suburbans in the garage. Safer, emptier roads are something all drivers want, but real drivers need.

4. Better Cars
After years of racing to see who could build the largest vehicles, automakers are finally looking to see who can build more efficient vehicles. The technologically advanced Fisker Karma could only exist in the land of expensive gas, and the same is true for the beautiful and powerful Audi R8 diesel. The new Eco Elise not only gets better mileage that a stock Elise, it's also faster. Those are only a couple of examples. There's more on the way, if what Wert had to say at Popular Mechanics a couple months ago is any indication.

3. Better Roads
Owls aren't the only thing in danger of extinction. Cheap energy has meant more driving road-gutting sprawl, which leads to more stoplights and four-lane freeways. Most drivers have had the experience of pulling up to their favorite stretch of asphalt only to find a CVS and a lighted intersection suddenly under construction. Thankfully, the price of commuting is pushing families to move back into the cities and encouraging developers to focus on density with their new projects and leaving the remainder of great driving roads alone and safe from earth movers.

2. Cheaper Insurance
Assuming you become one of those people that takes the train or bus to work, you can adjust your insurance classification to "pleasure driver," which has the dual benefits of sounding awesome and saving you money. Depending upon your current insurance level, you could end up saving 10% to 15% on your premium. That's more money you could put into gas, tires, oil and everything else you need to enjoy the newly emptied roads.

1. Fewer Fatties
According to one economist's doctoral thesis, a $1 increase in the price of gas equates to a 10% decrease in the obesity rate, as people dine out less and walk/bike more. While this has a few boring side effects — fewer health-related deaths and lower health care costs, for example — the benefit to the driver is that your co-pilot is less likely to add sprung weight to your car. We're pretty sure it's the same reason Colin Chapman became a vegan and John DeLorean made sure all his women were coked-out anorexics.

Not surprisingly, technologies not readily available in the U.S. didn't fare well on the study. For example, clean diesel engines barely registered a blip, in large part because they're just entering the market. Said Mike Marshall, director of the study: "The mere fact that they'll be in the marketplace is going to raise the awareness level of clean diesel, and I think that will begin to crack some of these wrong perceptions of what diesel is today."

While clean diesel is already chosen by a majority of European buyers, it remains to be seen whether economies of scale allow it to be implemented in the States at a lower price premium than that found on hybrids; new offerings from VW, Mercedes, and even Honda in the next 12 months should provide some insight into diesel pricing strategy. Additionally, as hybrid sales numbers rise, the same economies of scale should allow prices to fall. But, for either to happen, first some folks have to pony up the premium. Chicken, meet egg.
[Automotive News (Sub. Req.)]

Ordinarily, we wouldn't have given SwiftFuel a second glance due to the snake-oil style claims it makes. But in this case, the information came with a whiff of credibility thanks to a writeup by columnist Robert X. Cringely at PBS.org, including an interview with Mary Russek, half of the husband and wife team behind the company. Factor in the company's web site and a mention on Slashdot, and that's four different places you can find SwiftFuel on the internet. But is there any real information?

First, we looked at Swift Enterprises' claims about SwiftFuel, which are easy to spot thanks to the light-blue 20-point text on their MySpace entry:

• 
  
• Completely renewable with no petroleum: Fair enough, it's 100% ethanol based, so that claim seems plausible enough.
  
• 50% improvement in mileage over E-85 and 10-15% improvement over gasoline: I grouped these together since the math is basically the same. Still, this is a huge claim, considering that ethanol has only 75% of the energy density of gasoline. To achieve the required energy density, one would need to boost ethanol with another chemical or create a new hydrocarbon from the ethanol base stock.
  
• 20% fewer emissions than gasoline: You had me at "a 15% improvement in mileage." But the global warming benefits are certainly icing on the cake, and seem to point toward an oxygenate in the fuel.
  
• No engine modifications, additives or stabilizers are needed: In other words, you don't need a FlexFuel engine to run SwiftFuel, nor do you have to dump a quart of STP in the tank to keep from burning a valve. So, whatever they're using is chemically inert.
  

So is SwiftFuel real? To paraphrase legions of X-Files fans, "We want to believe!" But we don't. When Robert Cringely and the Ruseks swing by our office with a jerrycan full of SwiftFuel for us to test, we'll bring you more. Until then, SwiftFuel belongs in the same category as Water 4 Gas and the Tornado.
[Slashdot]

Jackson sees the latest fuel crisis as a two-pronged beast: On one hand, sustained higher fuel prices will drive consumers (and manufacturers) to more fuel-efficient vehicles, eventually reducing our consumption of oil and improving national security. On the other hand, high gas prices are dragging down the economy, wrecking his profits, and generally suck.

However, Jackson is taking a refreshingly long-term view of the situation, and concluding that the country, its citizens, and its businesses (his included) will be fundamentally better off in the end by learning to cope with high energy costs. Given that the OPEC supply wildcard has been supplanted by the much less predictable speculator wildcard this time around, plus China proving it has an appetite to match our own, a long-term view may be the only right answer.

But Jackson acknowledges that if energy prices change, all bets are off. "I'm a good car salesman," Mr. Jackson says. "If I have high gas prices and an open-minded consumer, it's very doable. There is a connection between their needs and what we have to offer them. If we have cheap gasoline, it's mission impossible."

In other words, take your medicine, kids. It doesn't taste good, but you'll feel better tomorrow. Now pardon me, but I'm off to drive my G-Wagen. The beatings begin in five, four, three...
[WSJ.com]

Not surprisingly, everyone blames everyone else for this crisis, but the fact is that supplies are relatively limited for this time of year, meaning that the gas tax holiday is even stupider than we'd first considered. Anyone from Cheyenne or Montana pay a paltry $3.30 on gas? Anyone in CA pay more than $4.00? Hey, hey LBJ, how much did you pay for gas today? [AP]