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58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Auto Union Type D Race Car To Auction For $8 Million
Stuck in the Middle Way-Oh, Way-Oh: IMSA GTO Audi 90
Here In This Place is a Means to Your End: BMW Nurburgring Mini-Doc

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Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Nice. Just poke him so he dosen't fall asleep, and change his diapers every so often

/lame incontinence jokes.
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War2d2: Secure In His Own Manhood
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
The Kristján Einar Story: Part III -- Enter the Master

(part one, part two)

SCENE: Late at night. Clouds pass in front of a full moon, and a wolf's howl can be heard on the wind. A rusty sign creaks in the breeze. The sign reads "Sebring--Pit Row." KRISTJáN EINAR pulls his track suit collar tighter against the breeze and looks around the deserted pits. He turns suddenly when he hears a voice from the shadows. HANS-JOACHIM STUCK enters, stage right.

STUCK: She's a beauty, ay? In a few days she'll be buzzin' like a teenage boy's pants at a co-ed wrestlin' match. But now? Now she's quiet...like the morgue before a train wreck.

EINAR: Who are you?

STUCK: I'm like the darkness that lives in your soul, that never lets you forgive the things that have been done to you, nor forget the things that you've done. I'm like the wind in your ear, whisperin' 'faster, boy. Faster.' I'm like ever'thing you've ever wanted, an' nothin' you can have.

EINAR: You're a racer?

STUCK: Racer ain't nothin' but a man that fits a desk like a horse fits a pervert. You can cram 'im in there, but in the end ain't nobody gonna be happy.

EINAR: Do you mind if I ask you a question?

STUCK: Question? Question's like a woman. Just cuz she's asked don't mean you can't roll over and go back to sleep.

EINAR (disgusted): Oh God. I just got the horse one.

STUCK (smiles and nods)

EINAR: How do you do it? How can you last this long without selling out? Without doing...things...you're ashamed of, just for a seat and a stick, and a needle headed to redline?

STUCK: You don't do it, kid. It does you. But sometimes...well, sometimes you just gotta feed the dragon.

HANS-JOACHIM STUCK slowly melts into the shadows. The slurred yelling of RAY WERT can suddenly be heard off in the distance.

WERT: Einar? Where you at you little Icelandic minx? Poppa gotta get paid…

Camera closes in on KRISTJáN EINAR.

A solitary tear rolls down his cheek.
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domino
03/18/09

@War2d2 - Looking For a Star...: how much for you to do one with kristjan einar and richard goransson racing for a woman's affection? they're for a friend.
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jds108
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Many apologies for the following question, but this is serious internet business: why the heck do all of the cars like the R15 have that second pseudo-cockpit? Just looks strange to me.

Do they keep a cooler and 6 pack of Evian in there for the endurance races? Is there room for a sandwich?
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Vintage Racer - with V-12 goodness
03/18/09

@jds108:

Carry over to tradition and the old rules... Thankfully they don't have to carry spare tires anymore!
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Vintage Racer - with V-12 goodness
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Posted this yesterday...

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domino
03/18/09

@Vintage Racer is out taking pictures: thanks, i've been looking for that. damn hard drive failure ate lots of my youtube videos.
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scroggzilla raids again
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
I'm not surprised. Stuck's father was competing in hillclimbs into his 60's, beating drivers 4 decades his junior.

I read in Motorsport that HJ Stuck looked forward to competing in the 24 Hours of the Nurburgring in 2011 with both of his sons. Stuck, Stuck and Stuck FTW!

[www.hansstuck.com]
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GTI_MK5
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
on a related note...I have a DVR that i have tried to teach to record any good racing thats is on (not NASCAR) yet is misses lots of good stuff...i would be forever grateful if on a Thursday or Friday Jalopnik could post a Weekend Racing on TV post! and i mean everything from ALMS to Speed World Challenge to Spec Miata Racing.

Go TDI Power and Ass-engined Nazi slot cars!
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Vintage Racer - with V-12 goodness
03/18/09

@GTI_MK5:

This is what I use....

[www.tvracer.com]
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.357
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
These guys look like they belong at the golf course, but they are better drivers than most of the young guys.
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Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Youth and beauty are no substitutes for age and guile, particularly in endurance racing. Stuck should do well.

Looks like Audi has built another strong contender. They may have their hands full with Peugot and Aston this time. Hope I can catch some of that race.
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mechimike
03/18/09

@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: I love your new handle. Trebuchets rule.

The eldest driver on our LeMons team is more the double the age of our youngest. But even at 56, he can more than manage!
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lilwillie
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Stuck will not be in the car pictured, but will be in a 1987 Brougham with curb feelers and be sponsored by IHOP. Even though driving a car for "Old People" he will lap the field, not run down any pedestrians, still hold his coffee without spilling it and shake his fist triumphantly on the podium and say.

"Take that you young whipper snappers!"
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JC Whitless
03/18/09

@lilwillie: left blinker going the whole time...
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A strolling player
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
I fear if they get their Hans Stuck behind the wheel, they might have trouble getting out from there!
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engineerd
03/18/09

In reply to 58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
I think about where I'll be in 26 years (when I'm 58) and I don't see racing in that picture. I would love to, but I see a fatter, grayer, balder me sitting in front of a computer in a cubicle reading Jalopnik3D and taking heart medication and listening to the hum of my insulin pump.

Or I'll be dead because I finally got to build one of my dream creations.

I like option 2.
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
03/18/09

@engineerd is functionally ЯetardeD: Engineerd, you are missing the point of being an engineer. Why not build something out of your dreams that keeps you arround for more time? Adjust the design when you´re awake!
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engineerd
03/18/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ - wants a Busa V8: Well, as a Jalopineer, I dream of building a go-kart with a Honda 4-banger to power it or stuff a 351W in an Austin-Healey Sprite. Both of those dramatically increase my chances of killing myself by one of my creations.

That, obviously, wouldn't be the goal. Just a side affect of the insanity that either of those would present.

Although, by the way I've lived, I figure if I make it to 35 I should be pretty much invincible.
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A strolling player
03/18/09

@engineerd is functionally ЯetardeD: If you're still around, I hereby offer you first ride in the Monster Prius!

Seems like something you might want to do.
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engineerd
03/18/09

@д ѕтяоциб рлауея / А струлынк плаер: Hell yeah!

BTW, I like the Cryllic-ized version of your name.
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brandegee
03/16/09

In reply to Auto Union Type D Race Car To Auction For $8 Million
The most desirable existing pre-war race car. Period. Surprised it's only $8 million. The Russians destroyed almost every other one.
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PatFromGundo
03/16/09

In reply to Auto Union Type D Race Car To Auction For $8 Million
Anyone want to speculate on who will walk away with the car? My money's on Dr. Fred Simeone.
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P.Ξ.L.M. wonders if he should change his Xterra
03/16/09

In reply to Auto Union Type D Race Car To Auction For $8 Million
Hey guys,

I'm really not sure of that, but I'm pretty sure I heard once that the first race tracks (circa the era of this car, or maybe before) we're made out of wood? Anyone can confirm this?

Maybe I'm just got too much Breakfast Scotch too...
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scroggzilla raids again
03/16/09

@P.Ξ.L.M., needs to fix that rust hole...: The board tracks were at least 15-20 years prior to this period. Most disappeared during the early years of the Great Depression, due to the high cost of upkeep.

Here's some footage of motorcycle racing on the board track at Daytona FL, filmed in 1920.

+ Watch video

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Novaload
03/16/09

In reply to Auto Union Type D Race Car To Auction For $8 Million
Am I the only one who thinks that "Hans Stuck" is a hilarious name for a driver?
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scroggzilla raids again
03/16/09

@Novaload Misses Murilee: Now that you mention it, it is kinda funny.
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