Hummer brand CEO Jim Taylor, speaking with Automotive News, discussed Hummer's rather hazy future. Though the sale has not yet been finalized, the agreements are in place to sell the brand to Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery for $150 million, while that doesn't include any kind of manufacturing capacity, it does have a good deal of intellectual property in the transaction. GM will be providing contract manufacturing of the current Hummer brand products until the negotiated contract ends, but it's up to Tengzhong, Hummer, and Jim Taylor to work out a plan after that.

Currently Hummer is working with Austrian consulting firm AVL to determine a future path for brand and product lineup. The idea is to continue pushing the brand smaller, lighter, and more environmentally friendly. That includes the introduction of the smaller-than-the-H3 Hummer H4 and after that an apparently microscopic Hummer H5. The H4 will be based on the HX concept car and may include a hybrid drive system to push fuel economy up to respectable levels.

More daunting than working out Hummer's product plan is laying out a production system including manufacturing and engineering capacities, supply chains and the like. Essentially, once GM production ceases on the current H2 and H3, Hummer will be starting with a seven bar grille and a name synonymous with gas-guzzling behemoths. Tengzhong has promised to spend big on Hummer with increased production and a wad of advertising cash to re-tool the brand's image, but still, it'll be an uphill battle. Best of luck with all that, Mr. Taylor. [AutoNews (sub req.) via Hummer Guy]

It's almost like rule 34 of the internet, if a marketing hobo imagines a clever thing, someone, somewhere will replicate it in real life. Such is the case here with the Happy Jack Hummer, or, as the builder/owner would like for it to be know as, the "Dummer", it's built on 90's-era Chevy S10 chassis and uses all the finest in plywood veneer's to attain that popular Hummer look. But be careful potential buyer, this creation comes with some pitfalls, such as the infamous "ran when parked" status, which could mean anything from mint condition to rat-eaten wiring with petrified bearing grease, good luck with that. It's supposedly an "off-road vehicle," but it's more like a parade vehicle for your goofy old neighbor down the street.

Here's the original "Happy Jack" ad, just in case you forgot. (Hat tip to Chad!)

[eBay]

The annual nationwide study of 1.7 million vehicles receiving traffic code violations by ISO Quality Planning in California, reveals Hummer H2s and H3s sit atop the list of most ticketed vehicles. Below, the full list of the top ten most and least ticketed vehicles.

Here's the San Francisco-based company's methodology:

Traffic code violations data for a one-year period from 2007 and 2008 were used for the study. Vehicles that were discontinued for more than 10 years were not included in the analysis. Violations were standardized based on the number of violations per 100,000 miles driven for each model. That standardization accounts for the differences in average annual miles driven by different models. Each vehicle model’s violation count per 100,000 miles was compared with the average across all the models to identify the 10 models with the highest and lowest violations, as compared to the average. For example, Hummer drivers were 4.63 times more likely to get a ticket, as compared to the average.

The study found these are the ten most ticketed vehicles, in order from most ticketed to least along with the percentage above the average:
Oh Hummer, why must you consume our pocketbooks? We love you when you run over things, play in the water or transform into a mysterious quasi-governmental robot. With the price of gas coming down, things between us have been more livable, but we still can't afford your ravenous addiction to gasoline. Maybe this is why GM is trying to off you.

Now for the other side of the ticketing coin. The ten least ticketed vehicles in the country, this time from least ticketed to most, along with the percentages less they receive tickets from the average are:

Buicks, Olds and big Chevys? Shocker. An interesting side note: Chevy Tahoes and Hummer H2s are basically the same vehicle mechanically — why the huge difference? Our guess may be it has something to do with the mind-set of the people who drive them. Remember, sometimes stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason — at least when it comes to the type of people who purchase certain vehicles.

[Newsday via Motive Forums, ISO Quality Planning]

Photo Credit: Flickr

In case you aren't familiar with the Piaggio MP3, it's an Italian-built three-wheeled motor scooter that can lean through a corner but maintains rock solid stability not available with a motorcycle. The brilliantly engineered but goofy looking scooter has been available in a large part of the rest of the world as the Gilera Fuoco for years but just recently went on sale in the United States.

In any case, this Hummer H2-branded example was spotted this morning on the mean streets of New York City on 32nd between 6th and 7th. The dress up is applied to the MP3 500 model, this biggest, brawniest version of the scooter (sort of like being the coolest kid at the Mathlympics) and consists of a "Hummer H2" sticker over the cowl badge, chipping "Piaggio" off the nameplate, and applying a Hummer decal to the top box at the back. The funny thing is, with all the tough-guy stuff on the MP3 500 like a grille guard, flat black color scheme and headlight guards, a branding partnership between Piaggio and Hummer seems like it might make sense. (Hat tip to Steven!)

This baby was spotted during our holiday travels somewhere in northern Indiana, so we're hoping the owner of this bad boy is actually a factory worker (or was) at the Hummer plant. If not there's something not quite right with this person.

The incentive bonuses are not insignificant: Automotive News quoted Miami Hummer dealer Ed Williamson as saying they could "be substantial," often in the six-figures. Williamson would know: He happens to own the highest-volume Hummer store in the country, Williamson Cadillac-Hummer. So how many of the beasts did the hottest location move in June? Thirty-one, or about one per day. That's compared to about 100 a month during 2007.

Jalopnik Snap Judgment: Sales dropping due to a "loser" image? Irrelevant products? A parent company that's given up hope? It's DeSoto, Studebaker and Oldsmobile all over again. Take a picture of yourself next to an H2 soon: One day your kids will say "I can't believe people used to drive things like that!" [Automotive News (Sub. Req.); Photo Credit: A1 Limobus]

The Standard Taxi would be the first purpose-built taxi since the Checker Marathon, and the design offers some advantageous features. The strange-looking vehicle has easily replaceable body panels for simple maintenance in the urban environment. The low-floor configuration means it'll take wheelchairs and scooters, so the cab should also see use as a paratransit vehicle. And, most importantly, the cab can hold four passengers as well as an heiress-level of luggage. Expect a new, less awkward design for the production version.

Newsletter Announcement

We are very proud to announce that we have teamed up with AM General LLC to build our vehicles. AM General® is located in South Bend, Indiana, where it has manufactured the HUMVEE® (High Mobility Multi-purpose Wheeled Vehicle) for the military since 1985. AM General's product heritage includes the venerable HUMMER® H1 and they currently assemble the HUMMER H2 which is marketed by General Motors Corporation. Our vehicle production is scheduled to begin in 2009.

Quality and Performance! Our groundbreaking agreement with AM General will benefit owners, operators, drivers, and the riding public. We looked at several manufacturing possibilities over the past year and we chose AM General because of its excellence in building vehicles and its vast experience in procuring parts and vehicle components, engineering and validation processes, service parts logistics, maintenance planning, warranty service and administration, and launch of production vehicles. More details to come in our next VPG newsletter!

[VPG Autos via Hummer Guy]

If you recall, Ratchet from the first Transformers was a tweaked Hummer H2. Could Ratchet be getting a upgrade? Or will the Hummer H3 serve as a completely new Transformer? GM might just using the black H3s because it doesn't have enough spare Hummer HX concepts for a measly movie expo. Only time will tell.

Maybe that "strategic review" of the Hummer brand meant just dumping all of the Hummer eggs into the Transformers basket. [TFW2005]

Countries raking in huge oil profits are would be the most likely destination for Hummer. Markets in Russia and Latin America continue to demand large SUVs, while China and India are potential suitors as well. At least one analyst speculated about Hummer as a logical fit for Tata Motors. "It would be a great fit with Land Rover," said Rajesh Kothari, a partner with investment banker Seneca Partners LLC and Manchester Holdings. "Hummer is a similar product line; it has similar demographics but a different reach." While the combination of Tatas and a Hummer make perfect sense to us, a spokesperson from the Indian automaker declined to comment.
[Freep; Photo Credit: GraniteGrok.com]

"Most single men buy Hummers to impress women. The only women that a Hummer impresses are high maintaince goal diggers. Is this what you really want in your life?"

Look a little further and this is what you'll get:

If you really want to meet high quality women you need to look outside the USA. Foreign women have the qualities you want!

Why not enlist and pick up foreign women today in your Hummer?

Initially, GM was planning a next generation Hummer H2 model built on the GMT-900 chassis for sometime in 2010. Internally, it was referred to as "GMT915." It was the next-gen chassis for the vehicle that GM has now decided to do away with.

The plans now call for the H2 to remain on the GMT-800 chassis, with significant refresh coming sometime between the latter half of 2010 and the first half of 2011. At this point, the H2 will be allowed to run its course and then die. That would put the H2 ending sometime around 2014.

So while the H2 is still going away eventually, our first story was off by a couple of years. We apologize. Serves you right for listening to a blog on "news" stuff anyway. Fercrissakes, we have a feature here called "Hoon of the Day."

While we can think of a few reasons for the demise of the Hummer H2, one reason is greater than the rest — CAFE. Up until recently, the H2 had been exempt from Corporate Average Fuel Economy standards due to it's gross vehicle weight rating. Vehicles above a 8,500 lb. GVW rating did not have to comply with CAFE. The H2's GVW came in at a convenient 8,600 lbs. Just hulking enough to miss the Federal fuel economy misers. However, with the new standards passed by Congress at the end of 2007, the H2 would fall under the CAFE umbrella by 2011. No official fuel economy number have ever been released on the H2, but most reviewers have observed an average somewhere between 12 MPG and 9 MPG. That means continued production of the H2 would've taken a huge, wet, 87-octane bite out of GM's CAFE pie that no number of Aveos sold could fill.

Past its fuel economy woes — or likely because of them — the H2 wasn't exactly flying off dealer lots as of late. Only 12,431 people decided they couldn't live without an H2 in 2007, a sales figure 27.3% lower than the heady, fuel-friendly days of 2006.

The H2 was also the only vehicle left still being built on the General's ol' and busted GMT-800 chassis. With all the other large GM SUVs and trucks now on the newer GMT-900 chassis, the idea of spending money on the older platform may have quickly fallen out of favor with "Slick" Rick Wagoner and "Maximum" Bob Lutz.

With the FUH2.com website now irrelevant, we'd like to suggest a new site — one where we could all wave goodbye to the H2 instead of giving it "the bird." Excuse us while we go register CUH2.com.

This novelty comes in the H2 variant of the Hummer and is available for $24, in packs of a dozen—just in case the first five or ten don't get quite huge enough for you. [Grow Hummer via neatorama]

Judging by this prototype caught under test, it looks like the Hummer H2 SUT is on the verge of a growth spurt. This H2 SUT tester— parading around in what appears to be a faux army paint scheme (complete with star)—has clearly been lengthened behind the rear doors. It appears that a good 12-inches has been added—both fore and aft of the rear wheel—resulting in a significant increase in hauling capacity over the compromised bed of the current H2 SUT.

We would guess that this new, longer H2 is making use of the
stretched GMT 900 platform used on the Suburban instead of the H2's
normal Tahoe-based package. The strategy was probably deemed
necessary to properly differentiate the H2 SUT from the upcoming H3
SUT, which sports a similarly stretched bed when compared to its SUV
counterpart. If the H2 SUT has ever made any sense, it's relevance
would be severely challenged if the smaller H3 pickup actually
trumped the H2 in functionality. The General is now in the process
of rectifying this shortcoming. One now wonders if this lengthened
treatment will also be applied to the H2 SUV.

HUMMER H2 SAFARI OFF ROAD

The HUMMER H2 Safari concept brings a unique, open-air experience to those who want to experience as much of the outdoors as possible when taking their H2 to a favorite wilderness location. A unique, safari-inspired matte olive finish allows sportsman to take the H2 Safari on to the trail and blend in with the scenery. A large, folding canvas roof panel opens up the H2 Safari, too, creating an open-air driving experience. Additional modifications are aimed at enhancing the vehicle's capability and comfort, including a dockable GPS unit.

Vehicle highlights:

• H2 Safari Off Road concept
• 6.2L V-8 with 393 horsepower
• Retractable canvas roof panel
• Safari-inspired matte olive exterior color
• 20-inch wheels
• Mickey Thompson 35-inch off-road tires
• Removable rear quarter windows
• Euro-style smoked light lenses with LED lighting
• Black-anodized billet aluminum rear D-rings
• Warn winch - power plant with dual-force in front
• Heavy-duty suspension with two-inch lift kit
• Brushed metal appearance on interior trim
• Weather-resistant premium nylon seating material
• Olive green rubber floor replaces production carpeting
• Custom floor mats
• Magellan 500 eXplorist dockable GPS unit
• Premium outdoor luggage and gun racks

GM Accessories (production and concept)

• Roadside assistance package
• First aid kit
• Hitch receiver cover
• Tail lamp guards
• Rocker protectors
• Fuel door (black)
• Tubular assist steps (black)
• Hood handles (black)

# # #