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Detroit, 1:26 AM
Sun Nov 8
6 posts in the last 24 hours

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    REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of SeanKHotay SeanKHotay
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Initial reports blame the misnews on the Runover Roadkill News Patroll..
     Reply
    SeanKHotay was starred SeanKHotay was unstarred
    Image of SigmundTheSeaMonster SigmundTheSeaMonster
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Tom's my twin brother. Seriously. Well. Ok. Look, a bunch of folks think we look alike. That's all.
     Reply
    SigmundTheSeaMonster was starred SigmundTheSeaMonster was unstarred
    Image of jdoubleh jdoubleh
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Quote from Green after the accident, "That uppity [landscaper] hit me upside the head with a shovel. I'd appreciate it if you could find it in your heart to hang him up his neck until he was dead."
     Reply
    jdoubleh was starred jdoubleh was unstarred
    Image of SeanKHotay SeanKHotay
    07/06/09

    @jdoobluh is regruntled: I thought the culprit was the sheriff?


    A Mr. Johnson from Rock Ridge told me...

     Reply
    SeanKHotay was starred SeanKHotay was unstarred
    Image of PatFromGundo PatFromGundo
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    So, is that an "after" photo?
     Reply
    PatFromGundo was starred PatFromGundo was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    I could believe he got beaten down if he did say something to them. Every time I've ever seen him open his mouth I've had the same reaction. Maybe they had seen him on TV and were just waiting for the opportunity.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of Miscellanea Miscellanea
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    This is the funniest thing that Tom Green has ever been involved in.
     Reply
    Miscellanea was starred Miscellanea was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    I dunno, sumpin' hokey about this whole set-up. As much as I'd like to give a medal to anyone who beats the tar out of Green, this reeks of publicity stunt.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    They should have beat him half to death.


    Twice.


    j/k

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Better headline: "Hosers Take Off, Leave Green in Sad Shape"
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    07/06/09

    @combat chuck: I love Canadian golf course groundskeeper humor.
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of SirNotAppearing SirNotAppearing
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Is it racist if I assume they fled because their papers weren't in order? Yes? No?
     Reply
    SirNotAppearing was starred SirNotAppearing was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    07/06/09

    @SirNotAppearing: Probably. Even if your papers were in order, would you hang around for cops to arrive after you just beat the crap out of someone? I wouldn't.
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    He's probably lucky he didn't say a word.


    The beating would have been worse.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    "Comedian"? "Actor"? I can only hope the rest of this report is more accurate.
     Reply
    Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was starred Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was unstarred
    Image of Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    What the f*ck? Sounds odd....maybe he was antagonizing them as part of a comedy bit or something. Sounds fishy. Maybe it was a simple Canadian-Spanglish translation error.
     Reply
    Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master was starred Ash Clutchem, Pokey Master was unstarred
    Image of combat chuck combat chuck
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    You break my truck I breaka you face
     Reply
    combat chuck was starred combat chuck was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    07/06/09

    In reply to REPORT: Comedian Tom Green NOT In Accident, NOT Beaten
    Paramedic to coworker upon arriving at the scene: "I think the Green movement is over."
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    07/06/09

    @Leeeeena, a Jalopchick: Ooooh, I was going to say something like that, but thought it might be too tacky. (Funny girl). :)
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    07/06/09

    @skaycog: After seeing this and her comment on the billboard, it's obvious that Leeeena is feeling edgy this morning.
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    07/06/09

    @CPO Alfisted: I like it.
     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    07/06/09

    @CPO Alfisted: And I bet you didn't even see my amusing list in NPOCP!


    [jalopnik.com]


    Maybe I should only get a couple hours of sleep more often.

     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of Alfisted Alfisted
    07/06/09

    @Leeeeena, a Jalopchick: Wow. Sleep deprivation does that for you, huh? I usually have to be hung over.
     Reply
    Alfisted was starred Alfisted was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    07/06/09

    @CPO Alfisted: Hell yes! How do you think I got all my followers during the school year?


    P.S. Since this report turned out to be untrue, does that negate my funny?

     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
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