Jalopnik: Great Britain

Hoon Appointed UK Secretary Of State For Transport

Wes Siler — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 13:00:00 EST

Well, Hoon by name if not by nature. Geoff Hoon, former Secretary of State for Defense, was appointed the United Kingdom’s Secretary Of State For Transport back in October. Could this be a good thing? Surely anyone named Hoon can’t be all evil, right?

Well, he has called fixed speed cameras “arbitrary” and “unfair,” preferring instead the far less arbitrary and unfair average speed cameras. You know, the ones that record your speed over a large distance then send you a ticket in the mail should your average exceed the posted limit. He’s also proposed that drivers could lose their licenses after only two speeding offenses. Why?

No, not because speeding is dangerous — it seems that even the ~~Ministry of Love~~ Labour Party has lost faith in that lie — but, get this, because the faster you drive, the more you pollute. Coincidentally, Geoff Hoon has just approved an extra 23,000 flights per year at Stanstead and who supports a third runway at Heathrow.

Despite his anti-car policies, Hoon has had the gall to have himself described as “car mad” in newspaper interviews. Ignoring his car-hating policies for a second, let’s take a look at the Hoon fleet: a Ford Galaxy minivan, a purple Mini and his Government issue Prius.

What’s most interesting about Hoon’s appointment to the position isn’t the cynical policies or spin however, it’s the resigned acceptance shown by the English press. Writing in The Times, former CAR editor Jason Barlow cites all of the above offenses but doesn’t move on to present a cohesive argument for either Hoon’s dismissal nor the repeal of his policies; instead moving on to a tired and trivial Clarkson imitation, calling for people with stuffed animals in their cars to be banned. For this ex-resident of Blighty, it’s sad and frightening to see the degree to which the British are prepared to roll over and accept the slow progression of Orwellian rule. The United Kingdom used to be a bastion of reasonable laws and personal freedom. Not anymore. [via The Times]

British Police Expand License Plate Surveillance, Will Store All Trips For Five Years

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:30:00 EDT

The surveillance state of Britain is becoming more and more unbelievable as The Guardian is reporting a number-plate recognition system will now be tied to a massive database allowing the movements of all vehicles to be tracked and stored for up to five years.The system works by using government and privately-owned closed-circuit cameras to read number plates and then send the data into the central database, where it can be used for surveillance purposes. When complete, the system will record over 50 million license plate locations each day. Rumor has it the entire operation will be powered by a high-speed generator attached directly to George Orwell's casket. (Photo credit: Wired) [Guardian UK]

Think You've Got It Bad? Gas Hits $14.76 a Gallon In Britain

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 17:20:00 EDT

Great Britain is in the midst of a fuel supply crisis the scope of which gives us the cold sweats: Supply is short, stations are closing with dry tanks, and those that do have dino juice are demanding a princely sum equivalent to $14.76 a US gallon. Light sweet crude, it's the end of the world! Okay, not really. The problem is that tanker drivers for Shell have gone on strike, sending fuel supplies into the crapper. This craziness will pass once the union comes to an agreement, but it makes us think that maybe a Segway isn't such a bad idea after all, despite what Wert thinks. [BBC News]

Remploy Bosses Rewarded With Mercedes For Firing Disabled Workers

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:45:00 EDT

Okay, that's an admittedly sensationalist headline, but completely true even without context. Remploy is a British company in the business of hiring out disabled workers to jobs where they can be effective. It was incorporated after the WW2 to manage all the disabled workers now within Her Majesties court. Until recently things had been going along dandy with 5,000 people in their employ across many plants in Britain. That is until a couple of weeks ago, when the company laid off half of the total workforce.

Despite the seemingly drastic measures, and here's the rub, the upper management will be driving around in Mercedes Benz CLK's for their hard work. The total corporate fleet of 443 cars figures in at about 8 million British pounds, with an average vehicle price of 19,900 Quid. We're no experts in labor relations, but we're betting this really chuffs the knickers of all those out of work disabled limeys. Bet there's about the be a big row over this one. [This IsLondon]

Clampers Trapped As Furious Brits Demand Full Release

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:15:00 EST

Residents of an exclusive new apartment complex in Sussex awoke Monday to find a couple of burly guys slapping wheel clamps on their cars. Did they let things slide? Hell no they didn't. The complex had apparently done the worst job ever at getting its residents their parking passes and the fellows were there to put on the boot for those without tags - including the permitless tenants. The residents called friends and family who blocked the exit to the lot and a 5 hour standoff ensued.

After tense negotiations and probably fearing a possible row in the press, the complex relented and called off the clampers. We say hooray for civility and power to the people! Down with the dirty boot keepers. Now all they have to do is admit Marmite is a travesty of nature and we'll begin to think the Brits are sane again. [ThisIsLondon.co.uk

It's Built By Ford And It Goes Like (KABOOM)!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 14:30:36 EDT

In 1981, the year of this ad, the car sold as the "Capri" in the States was a Mercury Fox Mustang clone. Back in the UK, however, the venerable Ford Capri was still available, and it came with a 2.8-liter V6 that gave it a not-too-bad-for-1981 0-60 time of 7.8 seconds. Check out those painfully-80s graphics! – Murilee Martin

Related:
History is Bunk: Fortune Gets Dumb [internal]

Sunbeam Rapier Fastback: Not Barracuda-Inspired, Really!

Murilee Martin — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:25:48 EDT

The Sunbeam Rapier Fastback's designer claimed he wasn't ripping off the look of the early Plymouth Barracuda (and maybe he's telling the truth) but so what if he was? How can you not love a British Barracuda? Too bad Rootes couldn't talk corporate overlord Chrysler out of some Slant Sixes while they were at it, since the Rapier's 1725cc mill didn't really measure up in the grunt or reliability departments. Made from 1967 through 1976 (and marketed in the States as the Alpine GT) the little Rapiercuda had style- and oil- to burn, and their present-day owner's club has one of the slickest car-club websites I've ever seen. – Murilee Martin

Sunbeam Rapier Owner's Club [sunbeamrapier.com]

Related:
Hold That Tiger: Custom 465hp Sunbeam [internal]

Surf's Up! The Hillman Imp Californian

Murilee Martin — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 16:29:45 EDT

Perhaps inspired by Ford's sales of a few thousand California Special Mustangs here in the US of A, Hillman decided that slapping the name of Richard Nixon's home state on a fastback '67 Imp would somehow convince legions of British car buyers to part with 650 for the thing. Sadly, the Imp Californian lacked the hotter Sport engine used in the Super Imp, and sales were disappointing. I'm still trying to find more details on the '71 Manson Family Edition Imp. – Murilee Martin

Hillman Imp Californian [Imps4Ever]

Related:
Ass-Engined Limey Snot Car: The Hillman Imp [internal]

British V8 Swaps: We Mean It, Man!

Murilee Martin — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 17:00:26 EDT

Little British sports cars are kinda lovable, in the same way that a friendly dog who gets sick all the time with random unexplainable symptoms is lovable, but for the most part they sputtered off the assembly line- and past the jeering picket line of striking British Leyland employees- with about 1/3 the horsepower they deserved. But drop a V8 into one- say, a Ford 260 into a '62 AC Ace- and everything changes. The folks at BritishV8.org have compiled dozens of examples of such madness on their site (and not just V8s; you can see Mazda rotary Spitfires, Chevy V6 Midgets, and so on). Some super-sanitary factory-looking jobs with small-blocks and 6-speeds, some howl-at-moon tubbed big-blockers, and plenty in between. – Murilee Martin

British V8 Photo Gallery [BritishV8.org]

Reliant Robin Supervans For 8.99

Murilee Martin — Mon, 05 Mar 2007 12:16:21 EST

Yeah, yeah, they're 1/43 scale. But damn, it's a genuine 3-Wheelers.com limited-edition diecast Reliant Robin Supervan! I own only one 1/43 scale toy car at this point (a '75 Pacer X) but I think it may soon have a companion. – Murilee Martin

3-Wheelers.com Reliant Scale Model [3wheelers.com]

Related:
Hot Wheels Mania [internal]

Batmobile #6 Sells For 119K

Murilee Martin — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:23:41 EST

The sixth of an "unspecified number" of Batmobiles built for the original TV show just went for the equivalent of $233,000 at an auction in London today. The winning bid came from a private museum in that no-questions-asked tax haven, the Cayman Islands. What's interesting about Batmobile #6 is that it's a steel-bodied car, unlike the fiberglass copies of Barris' original commissioned by the show's producers. Doesn't seem like such a bad deal, compared to the price tag of the Pope's ex-Golf. – Murilee Martin

Batmobile Fetches 119,000 Pounds After Bidding War [Bloomberg]

Related:
Batmobile Rammed, Bale Banned, Eh? [internal]

UK Ad Watch: Goodyear Reminds Brits Changing Tires Can Be Dangerous

Ray Wert — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 20:11:23 EST

We're always leery of changing a tire by the side of the road at night, but that's got less to do with our abilities with a spare and more to do with being afraid of the dark. Still, these three humorous little Brit bits from the boys and girls at Goodyear remind everyone of the hazards of changing tyres (or tires if you're on this side of the pond) by the side of the road. Of course Goodyear would say that — they sell those run-flat tires, which to us sound silly 'cause, you know, how do you know if it's flat if it still feels like it isn't. Plus hey, didn't they have that trouble with the Lotus last week too? – Ray Wert