Fortunately, I spotted this very, very nice '64 Grand Prix parked at the beach not long ago, quite close to the home of the not-so-nice '71 VW Squareback. Don't worry about it being near the beach, because the San Francisco Bay's surf is measured in inches, not enough to kick up a bunch of Rust Monster-enabling salt on nearby parked cars.

You'd have paid $3,499 for this car back in 1964, and for that price you got the 306-horse 389 and way more style than the realtors in their Bonnevilles. A '64 Galaxie 500 coupe went for just $2,783, which may have left you enough money in your budget for a dealer-installed 425-horsepower Thunderbird Super High Performance 427 engine. Which would you have chosen?

Photography is complicated enough as it is, but when you add a lens that purposely manipulates the plane of focus or meddles with parallel lines, full comprehension will require a trip to the Physics section of your local bookstore to familiarize yourself with the work of Theodor Scheimpflug. The lenses used to take these photos are highly expensive and the output they produce cannot be used for straight news reportage, yet a handful a sports photographers employ them to capture the visuals of Grand Prix weekends in ways impossible with other equipment. And no, not every tilt-shift photo is a a fake miniature.

Click through for a distorted trip of the past three years of Formula One.

2008 Japanese Grand Prix

Here’s the Red Bull team having fun at Fuji Speedway. This is perhaps the most optically complex photo in our gallery and not only because you are probably spectacularly uninterested in the subjects in the plane of focus.

It’s because the girl’s left cheek also appears to be in focus, yet a blurred field separates it from the Red Bull team members. Physics majors, please explain in the comments.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Kimi Räikkönen, 2009 Monaco Grand Prix

This is classic tilted plane fake miniaturization: the chap in the red car is Kimi Räikkönen, on his way to Ferrari’s only podium finish this year.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

Jenson Button, 2009 Turkish Grand Prix

A tilted focus is great for portraiture: photographer Mark Thompson can direct our gaze to Jenson Button’s left eye at the exclusion of everything else. Button here is consulting with his teammates at the 2009 Turkish Grand Prix, before his crushing victory on race day.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Jenson Button, 2009 British Grand Prix

If you tilt your plane of focus to a narrow vertical field, you can isolate a race car with sudden clarity. Jenson Button is seen here during free practice at last weekend’s British Grand Prix, where he lost by a wide margin to Red Bull’s flying Sebastian Vettel.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

Felipe Massa, 2007 Monaco Grand Prix

Let’s see some Ferraris: Felipe Massa is seen here sharing a plane of focus with a bunch of yachts in Monaco harbor. He is on his way to finish third behind the twin McLarens of Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton.

Photo Credit: Clive Mason/Getty Images

Michael Schumacher, 2008 German Grand Prix

Ferrari personnel in their red getups make for great photos: here’s Michael Schumacher at last year’s German Grand Prix, looking very excited as he’s sandwiched in between two aesthetic crimson blobs as the sole punk in blue jeans.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Kimi Räikkönen, 2009 Turkish Grand Prix

Ferraris may suck this season, but even parked and hooked up to computers, they look gorgeous. 2007 world champion Kimi Räikkönen is about to go for a practice run at a race he would finish outside the points. Notice how the tilted plane renders everything but Räikkönen’s head and the yellow Scuderia Ferrari badge out of focus.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Kimi Räikkönen, 2007 British Grand Prix

Last Ferrari photo, but look at the fancy British clouds, sharp only where they line up with the starting grid of Silverstone, which photographer Clive Mason chose as his plane of focus. Kimi Räikkönen is seen here in happier times: he is about to qualify second in the 2007 British Grand Prix, a race he would win on his way to claim the 2007 championship.

Photo Credit: Clive Mason/Getty Images

Timo Glock, 2009 Bahrain Grand Prix

This photo captures like no other Mercedes-Benz’s renowned racing manager Alfred Neubauer’s observation that the racing driver is the loneliest creature in the universe. Neubauer invented pit signaling to remedy this, taking his Mercedes-Benz team to a hail of victories over three decades, while photographer Fred Dufour used a tilt lens to show Toyota’s Timo Glock practicing for the 2009 Bahrain Grand Prix.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

David Coulthard, 2008 German Grand Prix

It’s Mr. Jawbone right there in his Red Bull, in the waning months of his long career. Wearing a flameproof balaclava, he is a lone white human figure in a scaffolding of wire and carbon fiber suspension parts.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Sebastian Vettel, 2009 Bahrain Grand Prix

Contrary to what you can read on the pit wall, this is David Coulthard’s successor Sebastian Vettel in the Red Bull RB5 car, leaving the pits at the 2009 Bahrain Grand Prix.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

Hamilton, Heidfeld, Fisichella and Alonso, 2009 Spanish Grand Prix

You can also use a tilt-shift lens to cut through the clutter of people at a press conference, picking out those that your viewers are probably most interested in: bitter 2007 rivals Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso, shown here at a press conference three days before the 2009 Spanish Grand Prix.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

Red Bull’s Guests, 2007 Italian Grand Prix

Like any other photographic technique, a tilted plane of focus can be used to capture gratuitous shots of young women. These blondes are guests of Red Bull at the 2007 Italian Grand Prix and judging solely on appearance, they are hopped up on the team’s signature soft drink.

Photo Credit: Clive Mason/Getty Images

Jenson Button, 2009 British Grand Prix

And we’re back to toy cars. While photographer Fred Dufour probably did not know at the time he took this picture, Jenson Button’s usually dominant Brawn would actually be relegated to toy car status during last weekend’s British Grand Prix, as Red Bull’s upgraded RB5’s stormed the field, taking their second 1–2 victory of the season.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

Sebastian Vettel, 2008 German Grand Prix

Black and white? Art! Focusing in a slanted plane on Sebastian Vettel’s face shows just how young Red Bull’s superfast German really is: he was born on July 3, 1987. When this photo was taken, he'd only been old enought to have a beer in America for less than two weeks.

Photo Credit: Mark Thompson/Getty Images

Fernando Alonso, 2009 Monaco Grand Prix

For a final tilted image, here’s one for pure aesthetic awesomeness. Fernando Alonso is taking the Grand Hotel Hairpin of the Monaco street circuit in the Renault during free practice at this year’s grand prix.

Photo Credit: FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

The Hamilton portrait, which was paid for by McLaren’s fuel partner ExxonMobil, is far from being the only such piece in Macaluso’s extensive portfolio. While most of his motor oil paintings are abstractions, there are two portraits of another man of African ancestry who has gone where no man of his lineage has gone before: President Barack Obama.

Macaluso is clearly a fan of dead dinosaurs, as evidenced by this quote from the ExxonMobil press release:

Painting with the Mobil 1 used motor oil offered a wide range of tones and was obviously a very refined product from its texture. It was extremely smooth and very particle-rich, with all the engine dirt in perpetual suspension, making for a great painting medium.

If he ever decides to branch off into rock music, “Engine Dirt in Perpetual Suspension” would be one hell of a band name.

The depictee himself was rather pleased, saying he was “very impressed with the oil painting.”

The painting will have its first public outing at a VIP event at the British Grand Prix, where Hamilton will arrive as the defending champion. Although given the pace of his McLaren this season, he will need nothing short of divine intervention to retain that distinction at the very last Grand Prix race held at Silverstone.

Where another Brit will arrive as the clear favorite—Brawn GP driver Jenson Button.

Image Credit: David Macaluso, ExxonMobil

Jenson Button was so fast at this weekend’s Turkish Grand Prix, he could afford to sit down for a picnic with his girlfriend Jessica Michibata during the race.

In a surprising move which was nonetheless perfectly in line with the sheer dominance of both his car and his skills driving it, Jenson Button pulled over to the side of the track at Istanbul Park on the second to last lap of this Sunday’s Turkish Grand Prix to treat his girlfriend, fashion model Jessica Michibata, to an impromptu picnic of Turkish cuisine.

“I was on the last lap, way up in the lead from Mark and Seb in their Red Bulls, so I thought—why not? You can certainly use a cold ayran on a hot summer afternoon in Istanbul,” Button said.

After nine disappointing seasons in Formula One, the 29-year-old Englishman is currently the dominant driver on the grid by a long margin. While he did not start the Turkish Grand Prix from pole, he pounced on an early error by Sebastian Vettel to take a lead he would build up to picnicworthy proportions by lap 57.

“So Ross was saying, ‘Hey Jess, Jenson’s just said on team radio he’d prefer a quick bite before the checkered flag,’ so off I went,” recalled Michibata. “I took a few döner kebaps, two pints of ayran, some strained yogurt and a bite of baklava, all wrapped in the checkered flag he was set to take.” She would return the flag to race officials after their meal.

Seated on the car’s side air intakes in a brilliant blue Hermès silk scarf, the Argentine-Japanese Michibata recalled images of a more glamorous era of motor racing. After finishing their delicious Turkish meal, Button climbed back into his BGP-001 to drive the white racing car across the finish line.

“Jessica rustled up one hell of a meal. But man, I so could’ve used a Red Bull to wash that döner kebap down with,” Button said after his post-race interview.

In case you missed Jalopnik’s live coverage of the race, you can catch up here. We will continue with galleries and a full race report.

Photo by Mark Thompson/Getty Images. Drawing by the author.

That's right, it appears that the three SHOs that started the race have become one running SHO and a pair of parts cars, and they've got plenty of wrenchin' company in the pits. Yet some of the cars are holding together, and we saw an ever-shifting cast of top contenders today. When the first session ended at 6:30, the Dirty Some Beaches Honda Civic station wagon was on top. How? Well, any Civic that can keep its head gasket intact will get around the track pretty well, and the Dirty Some Beaches drivers know how to avoid the black flags; we have yet to see them in the Penalty Box. Adding drama to the standings, the #4 car (a Miata run by the same Texans who have been the People's Curse victims in both Houston races so far) started out with a 25-lap penalty and has managed to claw its way out of that hole, now closing to within just two laps of the leader. And what's the deal with that Grand Prix in the top ten? There's no telling how this will all shake out, but it should be 90 degrees and swampy in Belle Rose tomorrow, which means more thrown rods, more fried brakes, and more overall hoonage.

Stamps, then. The last time I dabbled seriously in stamp culture was in elementary school. I had stamp books aplenty. The family bathroom would be hijacked for hours as I placed slightly wet sponges on letters and postcards my family had received and stashed over the decades. Traveling one square inch at a time. To the Cayman Islands, to Ghana, to Botswana. To wherever.

Formula One back then was epic and brutal battles between Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost, riding their McLaren–Honda MP4/4’s to victory in 15 out of 16 races, faltering only in the House of Ferrari one month after Enzo’s death at the age of 90. I did not follow Formula One back then. Sauropods and the woodlouse Porcellio scaber were infinitely more interesting.

Nineteen years later, Royal Mail—the postal service of the United Kingdom—issued a set of six stamps commemorating Britain’s Formula One greats. It was the summer of 2007 and Britain had already given the world eight world champions, more than any other nation. Lewis Hamilton would eventually become #9, but not in his rookie year of 2007, oh no. In his rookie year, he was so busy trying not to beat but to bloody vanquish his teammate Fernando Alonso at the penultimate race in Brazil that he handed the championship to Kimi Räikkönen. This was back when, unlikely as it may sound today, Stirling Moss called him a humble young man, reminiscent of his 50s teammate at Mercedes-Benz, five-time world champion Juan Manuel Fangio.

Sir Stirling, of course, never won the world championship. Still, and in a manner that would be impossible to defend by statistics or rationale, he is the greatest Grand Prix driver the United Kingdom has ever produced. You may wonder why, when British racers who have won world championships include:

1. Graham Hill, who won thrice, and wore the coolest mustache this side of Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq
2. James Hunt, who has video evidence proving him to be the coolest man who has ever existed. Plus, he used to attend official functions in jeans and sans shoes
3. Jim Clark, who was Luke Skywalker disguised as a sheep farmer
4. Jackie Stewart, who, if mathematically possible, is even cooler than Hunt

And so on.

But then study this photo of Sir Stirling driving the stuff of legend beside Denis Jenkinson in the 1955 Mille Miglia. Study it carefully. Zoom in if necessary:

That’s settled then, isn’t it? As expected, the stamp collection is rather heavy on Moss. Here's what you get when you unfold the complete set:

Six stamps, eight British world champions at the time of publication, plus Moss. So who got the axe? Mike Hawthorn, Le Mans champion and the first Brit to win the Formula One world championship. John Surtees, the only man who have became world champion on both motorcycles and in F1 cars. Oh, and Damon Hill—but then he makes people throw up.

Not exactly slim pickings.

And why? There is no why. At least Royal Mail has no why. Mysterious are the ways of philately.

Photo Credit: Lothar Spurzem (Graham Hill), Daimler Media Services (Stirling Moss and Denis Jenkinson), Royal Mail and the author. Special thanks to Lili Mesterhazy for the stamps and the postcards.

The 2000 Grand Prix GTP, along with Buick Regals equipped with the General's supercharged 3800 V6, was recalled in 2003 for the possibility of engine fires. This particular example apparently escaped the recall or found a way around the fix and set the apartment complex it was parked under ablaze with excitement. Thankfully nobody was injured in the fire, but it did draw as many as 50 firefighters and 16 firetrucks. So does that mean 2000 Pontiacs were building 16 alarm fire-level excitement? (Hat tip to Kevin!)
[Star Tribune]

Photo unrelated to story, though it's disturbing how many results pop up when you Google "Pontiac Grand Prix fire."

Whispers of team orders clouds a brainy race in Barcelona, where most of the action happened in the pits and in the tactical computers. Warning: spoilers below.

Spanish Grands Prix tend to be boring affairs. Held on the Circuit de Catalunya, more a motorcycle and testing track than one for spectacular racing, most GP’s here are rather dull. This year’s event, which saw Jenson Button make it four wins out of five races, was far from dull, but most of the action happened not on the track, but in the pits—and in the impenetrable, alien brain of Ross Brawn.

It started off well enough. Button, having grabbed pole on Saturday in the last seconds of qualifying, was passed on the way to Turn One by a resurgent Barrichello from third place. Then followed a mild accident, televisable but not particularly exciting, which decimated the rear of the field (both Toro Rossos, Jarno Trulli of Toyota, Adrian Sutil of Force India and Heikki Kovalainen of McLaren were out) and resulted in an safety car period which would prove decisive.

Unlike the rest of the field on their two stop strategies, the Brawns of Button and Barrichello were on three stops: three quick nips of fuel followed by scorching laps in a permanently light car. Following the safety car period, however, championship leader Button was put on two stops and he made the most of it, putting in blistering laps at the head of the field. Barrichello meanwhile, in a lighter car, lost precious seconds after his second pitstop, ultimately leading to his finishing by 13 seconds behind Button.

Whatever happened in those decisive laps—tire trouble, slow driving, team orders—the veteran Brazilian was very unhappy. This was to be his first win since the 2004 Chinese Grand Prix in what may be his last season in Formula One. A hugely selfless man, he played second fiddle to Michael Schumacher in Ferrari’s dominant years. Years when Ferrari’s strategy was determined by no other than Ross Brawn, the man who runs his current team.

Everyone at Brawn GP has pointed out immediately that they have no team orders in place—as evidenced, for instance, by Barrichello’s move on Button leading into Turn One—but the mind wonders. While Barrichello is a solid second in a championship with 12 more races to go and while he can be just as quick as Button, he has not won a single race yet in a clearly dominant car. Also, he is nine years Button’s senior, in a sport which favors the ultra-quick reflexes of the young.

Speaking of the young: 21-year-old Sebastian Vettel, driving the marvelous, Adrian Newey-designed Red Bull, had yet another frustrating race, stuck behind the Ferrari of Felipe Massa, whom he could not pass on the narrow circuit as the Brazilian deployed his speed-boosting Kers device in every corner. But make no mistake: Vettel is scramjet quick, as he has already shown in Shanghai. And once he finds himself in a position where he can really stretch his legs, the Brawns will have a young German in a dark blue car rapidly filling their rearview mirrors.

The 2009 Spanish Grand Prix was won by Jenson Button, followed by Rubens Barrichello and Mark Webber of Red Bull. Rounding out the points were Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull), Fernando Alonso (Renault), Felipe Massa (Ferrari), Nick Heidfeld (BMW) and Nico Rosberg (Williams). Jenson Button leads the championship with 41 points, followed by teammate Barrichello with 27 and Red Bull’s Vettel by 23. The next race will be held in Monaco on May 24.

Photo Credit: Paul Gilham/Getty Images, GUILLAUME BAPTISTE/AFP/Getty Images, Manu Fernandez/AFP/Getty Images, FRED DUFOUR/AFP/Getty Images

In this series of Pontiac print ads, which covers the postwar period through the Malaise Era, we see how the marketers repositioned Pontiac's image (or whatever the marketing term is) several times over the decades. Prior to the late 1950s, Pontiac was all about car-per-dollar value. Then came the "impress the sophisticates at the country club" era, and you can tell the exact moment at which John Z. De Lorean finally established full control of the division by the focus on engine power and youthful hijinks. Then, of course, Malaise Pontiacs were all about the tape stripes and miles per gallon. The gallery below holds just a fraction of the ads at the original site, so be sure to make the jump and see them all!
[John's Old Car And Truck Ads]

The race began with a bit of caution, as the group tailed the AMG-supplied SL63 pace car for eight laps before being let loose to the elements. Red Bull Racing's Sebastian Vettel took the pole during Saturday's qualifying session, holding onto the position until today's rain soaked finish. Not only did Red Bull pull a 1st place podium finish, but team mate, Mark Webber also pulled it in, giving Red Bull Racing a one-two finish over the rest of the pack. It was a rather uneventful grand prix, with no real racing taking place except for a few fun laps with McLaren's Lewis Hamilton and Ferrari's Felipe Massa. Series leader, Jenson Button and his Brawn Honda/Mercedes, played hard, but was unable to hold onto his winning streak, eventually finishing 3rd.

Make sure you check out my coverage of Day 1 and Day 2 for more on track and lifestyle images from the event.

2009 FORMULA 1 CHINESE GRAND PRIX FINAL STANDINGS:

Pos No Driver Team Laps Time/Retired Grid Pts
1 15 Sebastian Vettel RBR-Renault 56 1:57:43.485 1 10
2 14 Mark Webber RBR-Renault 56 +10.9 secs 3 8
3 22 Jenson Button Brawn-Mercedes 56 +44.9 secs 5 6
4 23 Rubens Barrichello Brawn-Mercedes 56 +63.7 secs 4 5
5 2 Heikki Kovalainen McLaren-Mercedes 56 +65.1 secs 12 4
6 1 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes 56 +71.8 secs 9 3
7 10 Timo Glock Toyota 56 +74.4 secs 19 2
8 12 Sebastien Buemi STR-Ferrari 56 +76.4 secs 10 1
9 7 Fernando Alonso Renault 56 +84.3 secs 2
10 4 Kimi Räikkönen Ferrari 56 +91.7 secs 8
11 11 Sebastien Bourdais STR-Ferrari 56 +94.1 secs 15
12 6 Nick Heidfeld BMW Sauber 56 +95.8 secs 11
13 5 Robert Kubica BMW Sauber 56 + 106.8 secs 17
14 21 Giancarlo Fisichella Force India-Mercedes 55 +1 Lap 20
15 16 Nico Rosberg Williams-Toyota 55 +1 Lap 7
16 8 Nelsinho Piquet Renault 53 +2 Laps 16
17 20 Adrian Sutil Force India-Mercedes 50 +6 Laps 18
Ret 17 Kazuki Nakajima Williams-Toyota 43 +13 Laps 14
Ret 3 Felipe Massa Ferrari 20 +36 Laps 13
Ret 9 Jarno Trulli Toyota 18 +38 Laps 6

[images via TAI, results via formula1]

Today was a busy day at the track with almost twice the attendance as yesterday's practice sessions and with some hot laps being set by the team with wings. Red Bull racing's Sebastian Vettel fought hard to take the pole for the first time since Monza last year. Vettel set his fast lap during the 3rd qualifying session, managing a 1m 36.184s lap, besting his teammate, Mark Webber's 1m 36.466s lap. Yesterday's practice sessions had Jenson Button setting the fast lap in the Brawn, but he fell back to 5th during today's qualifying. Fernando Alonso was able to settle his Renault in between the two Red Bull entries with a 1m 36.381s lap, netting him 2nd on the pole. [images via TAI, times via formula1]

It was a fairly uneventful day with no real incidents, which allowed Jensen Button to continue his hot lap trend. He was able to set the fastest time during the afternoon's second practice session, circling the 3.4 mile track with a time of 1m 35.679s in his Brawn Whatchamacallit. Nico Rosberg set a 1m 35.704s lap in his Williams F1, just ahead of Button's teammate, Rubens Barrichello, who managed a 1m 35.881s lap. I'll be back again tomorrow to see the action during the third round of practice as well as the afternoon's qualifying session, which should prove to be extremely competitive considering today's lap times.

[images via TAI, timing via Formula1]

The ex-Ferrari engineer and tactician’s brain has grown quite a bit since we last photographed it East of Japan on March 6, the day Brawn GP was born as a team. Jalopnik Space Initiative captured the very moment his drivers Jenson Button and Rubens Barrichello are dousing the team owner in champagne, following their magnificent victory in a stunning race.

Brawn is clearly elated and has already set his eyes on the Malaysian Grand Prix, to be held at Sepang International Circuit, Kuala Lumpur.

Damage to the outboard brain is visible in the middle of the image, where a still-rising ash plume from the recent eruption of the volcano Hunga Tonga-Hunga Haʻapai has burned a large hole in it. Favorably to Brawn, the hole appears to have formed right in the middle of the central sulcus, a large indentation between the primary motor cortex and the primary sensory cortex.

There is more to come on the race later on. Until then, you can download our space photo in full detail here.

It is not without a sense of unease to contemplate the meteoric rise of Audi these past few years. A company with a Gordian knot of a history best known for making slightly better Volkswagens has somehow replaced both BMW and Porsche at the bleeding edge of German design and technology. And being on top is, of course, uncool by default.

It may already be too late. Audi is perhaps already what Porsche was in the 80s and buying an R8 these days may now perhaps be akin to purchasing a yellow 911 convertible in Thatcherite Britain.

But none of this really matters for making up your mind whether to attend this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed, where Audi will be the featured carmaker. What matters is that they will have on display the entire spectrum of Audi racing cars, including the prewar Auto Unions. With twelve and sixteen cylinders and as many straight pipes for exhausts which carried Bernd Rosemeyer to Grand Prix victories and, later on, to death.

Read more and plan your trip at the Festival of Speed site.

Photo Credit: VOLKER HARTMANN/AFP/Getty Images

It would even have held the all-time lap record until lap six of the race, when Dan Gurney in his Eagle broke it with a time of 8 minutes and 18.2 seconds.

The 1967 season was fast, wicked and violent even by the standards of early Formula 1. The cars had just come back into power the year before, when regulations increased maximum engine size from a sewing machine 1.5 liters to a healthy three, and this was the first year when the entire field was made up of 3-liter cars. Speeds were increasing race by race, the cars ran on hard rubber, had no wings, and the tracks they raced on were designed and built in the 1920s.

Add to this the utter madness of the most famous of those tracks: the old Nürburgring Nordschleife. Where trees lined a thin strip of tarmac and these slender aluminum tubes with no downforce skirted right up to the edge on every lap. One would imagine it was not only the Eagle’s exhaust manifolds which were made of titanium but Gurney’s balls as well.

The cars took an incredible beating and the Grand Prix turned into a race of attrition. Gurney, who would go on to break the lap record again with a time of 8:15.1, had to retire from first position with a broken halfshaft. Denny Hulme in the unremarkable but reliable Brabham-Repco won the race and went on to become World Champion.

And yes, the cars took to the air on every lap at the very appropriately named Flugplatz.