Jalopnik: Grand Am

Rum Bum DP Riley BMW Plays Bulldozer In Laguna Seca Dirt, Goes Up In Flames

Mark Arnold — Mon, 19 May 2008 11:20:00 EDT

If you found yourself accidentally watching this past weekend's Grand Am race at Laguna Seca, you may have actually witnessed some entertaining stuff. Now, while it certainly was fun to see just about every car drive straight through the dirt and completely ignore the corkscrew, the hottest action of the race was this series of unfortunate events which happened to Matt Plumb's Rum Bum-sponsored Daytona Prototype. We knew that burying a fire with dirt will extinguish it, but who knew that burying a car with dirt will cause it to ignite? [SPEED]

Hot Babes Dig Discount Deals On '88 Pontiac Grand Ams

Murilee Martin — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:20:00 EDT

So The General makes this seriously 80s-looking ad for the '88 Grand Am, so much of its time that a fine sheen of chlamydia-scented cocaine crystals will form on your TV screen just watching it. But wait! The General notes that nobody is actually buying Grand Ams, so he orders his admeisters to splice in some stuff about ~~desperate-smelling~~ discounts in between the shots of the undernourished-looking Grand Am-lovin' 80s babe. Hmm... you don't see many of these cars around any more...

All This And A Squishy Nose: 1973 Pontiac Grand Am

Murilee Martin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:15:00 EST

Even though the DOTS '73 Grand Am doesn't have the cool hood scoops of the car in this ad, it does have the soft Endura bumper. We kinda prefer the demonstration involving scientists beating on the car's snout with a crowbar. Anyway, did you know the '73 Grand Am handled like a "true road car?" Porsche drivers, look out!

Horse Jumps Pontiac Grand Am, Unaware It Could Just Slide Under It

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:47:59 EST

Clearly, Luis Galindo had had not seen the amazing video of the Chiranjeevi horse slide, or else he would know that this whole horse-jumping-Pontiac Grand Am stunt is unnecessary. On the other hand, we have to give credit to them for finally coming up with a good use for the Pontiac Grand Am. Of course, this maneuver came too late for one horse rider. [YouTube]

1973 Pontiac Grand Am Colonnade, with Bonus Malaise Era Rant

Murilee Martin — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 09:00:00 EST

1973: The Malaise Era was just kicking off, with the Arab oil embargo and Nixon's Saturday Night Massacre letting everyone know that pessimism would be the order of the day for quite a while. The Vietnam War was clearly not going to result in another hide for Uncle Sam to nail onto the barn, and- perhaps worst of all- engine compression ratios were getting smaller and car bumpers were getting bigger. Into this quagmire slogged the '73 Pontiac Grand Am Colonnade, with wild styling that showed the how the Pontiac Division wasn't going to let those freaks over at Buick outdo them with the boat-tail Riviera.

Check out that nose! I knew I'd hit Early Malaise Era paydirt when I spotted this fine machine parked across the street from the minister's '77 Camaro. This car is in excellent, probably original, condition; this being Alameda, I wouldn't be shocked to find it's still in the hands of the original owner.

Pontiac's once-mighty 400 had lost quite a bit of oomph since the late 60s, with only 170 horses in the '73 version.

The rear side glass on the Colonnade has these classy louvers, which let the world know you were rolling in true Grand Am style.

Sure, it's easy to laugh at Malaise Era cars; in fact, it seems an entire industry has since sprung up to laugh at every aspect of the period. But before you laugh too hard, remember that cars like the Grand Am showed a very American optimism in the face of deepening gloom. Or, for a different way of looking at it, watch the following 1973 performance of the Edgar Winter Group and see if that doesn't put Malaise in a different light:

Yes, their outfits are absurdly dated, right down to Edgar's 1st-gen digital watch, and the rock-god posturing of the band might be equally dated. But who the hell cares? Much like the Grand Am, these guys have integrity beneath the silly exterior. You need another example? Fine, just observe what kids watching Sesame Street in 1973 got to see on the tube:

Again, we get the ridiculous Early Malaise Era clothing, but every single member of this band is orders of magnitude funkier than his present-day counterpart. Why, just the horn section alone- watch those guys long enough and you'll fail a drug test! And Stevie- in '73 he was Grand Am-like, but by the "I Just Called To Say I Love You" era he had become a Sunbird. So don't be so quick to dismiss Malaise!

First 100 DOTS Cars

Pontiac Builds Excitement, 1985 Style: Grand Aaaaaaaaaam!

Murilee Martin — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:30:58 EDT

This ad may just win the Most Eighties Car Ad Award for the week, if only for the porn-Moog music and the woman's breathy voice repeating the words "Grand Am" over and over while a miserably underpowered, indifferent-build-quality front-driver limps across the screen. Hey, but at least the Grand Am was better than the Phoenix, the car it replaced. The glass was half full! – Murilee Martin

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