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Detroit, 1:38 PM
Sat Nov 28
4 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #godtoldmeto more →

    Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    He couldn't have done over 100. Their limited at 98. I've been in a big block 396 Chevy truck of this gen, that still used the stock ECM. Tell you what, hitting that 98 mph limiter with 396 power threw you forward, and when it let the power come back, sucked you back in the bench.
     Reply
    TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was starred TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah was unstarred
    Image of SweetZombieJesus SweetZombieJesus
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    Can someone tell me how to drive like a Christian just in case?
     Reply
    SweetZombieJesus was starred SweetZombieJesus was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/05/08

    @SweetZombieJesus: It's like Walking Like An Egyptian, but on the other side.
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    So what's with the truck parked across the median?
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    Fundamental Christians don't believe in the concept of irony; rather, they take faith in the theory of "intelligent stupidity."
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    Actually, this made our a.m. drive time the other day: "No reports of accidents, police activity or divine vengeance." I lol'd.


    But what I don't get is that this nut gets a psychiatric evaluation; and all the other nuts doing violent things for "god" don't. So how do you tell which violent act is done by a nutjob who says god told him to, and which is done by a nutjob who says god told him to?

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    Lord, we beseech thee: HEAL THIS CAR!!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    *We. Sorry, Nibbles.
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    See? When Jake & Elwood get a mission from Ghod, the rest of us get some good music, some comedy, & some flying Nazis in a Vega.
    When Texans get a mission from Ghod, it doesn't work out so well. Te still get a totaled Chevy product, tho.
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of mechimike mechimike
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    Drive him out of here in God's Fury.


    Jesus Chrysler drives a Dodge!

     Reply
    mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    12/05/08

    @mechimike: +1 for the Screaming Blue Messiah's reference
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of DonSchenck DonSchenck
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
     Reply
    DonSchenck was starred DonSchenck was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/04/08

    @DonSchenck: It's impossible for me to read that, and NOT see a mental image of Samuel L. Jackson cock a pistol and recite it verbatim.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of silverjunkee silverjunkee
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    "God made me do it".


    Yeah. That's what Bin Laden said.


    "YEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAW!" = "JIIIIIIIIIIHAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

     Reply
    silverjunkee was starred silverjunkee was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    12/05/08

    @silverjunkee: I click your heart. Do you mind if I start using that in daily conversation?
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of TheresAPartyInMyPants TheresAPartyInMyPants
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    The only place scarier is Oklahoma. I'm checking my auto insurance asap to see if it covers hitting a 600 foot Jesus. You know, the one that Oral Roberts said he saw a few years ago? He's still on the loose as they haven't caught him yet. Just a matter of time...
     Reply
    TheresAPartyInMyPants was starred TheresAPartyInMyPants was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/04/08

    @z974647: I always feel a bit uncertain about a fellow whose name is 'Oral'.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of TurboWeasel TurboWeasel
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    She wasn't driving like a christian? What?
    Was she falsely idling?
     Reply
    TurboWeasel was starred TurboWeasel was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    12/04/08

    @TurboWeasel: A hearty heart click for you, chief.
     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    God should take some english lessons, that Aramaic of his is easily misunderstood.
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of domino domino
    12/04/08

    In reply to Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
    there has to be a way to turn this into a LeMons penalty.
     Reply
    domino was starred domino was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/04/08

    @domino: WIN.


    Now I'm going to have to sit down and work something out for that idea.


    Would it be appropriate to nail the offending drivers to a cross? No?


    Staple-gun, then? No?


    Dammit.

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of monsterajr monsterajr
    12/04/08

    @Deartháir: In the budget minded spirit of LeMons you may: zip tie; bailing wire and/or duct tape 'em to the cross. No nailing or bolting or welding allowed.
     Reply
    monsterajr was starred monsterajr was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/04/08

    @monsterajr: Not even if we can get it done for under $500?
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Feds Feds
    12/04/08

    @Deartháir:


    It's not the nailing that kills the cruisifixated, it's the pressure on the sternum, or some such. Can't you just weld a (~500 lb) Iron Cross to the top of their car, and make them bear it for the rest of the race.

     Reply
    Feds was starred Feds was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    12/04/08

    @Feds: I really, really like that idea.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    12/04/08

    @Feds:"Can't you just weld a (~500 lb) Iron Cross to the top of their car, and make them bear it for the rest of the race."

    Yes! I think we have a winner.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
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