Jalopnik: Global Warming

What Bentley Believes: 17-Page CO2 Manifesto Has Been Read

Matthew DeBord — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:45:00 EDT

Bentley is refreshing. Their ultra-luxe, mega-horsepower sleds, favored rides of autocrats, royalty and rap tycoons, are such a specialized product that the Craftsmen of Crewe can pretty much reduce their whole climate-change/fuel-scarcity strategy to a question of customer relations. I promised I'd read the white paper on global warming etc. the company handed out at their New York Auto Show press conference yesterday—also available on Bentley's website—and now I have. Dry? To be sure. Wonky? Yep. But on the heels of the company's announcement at the Geneva Motor Show that it's going to seriously cut CO2 output by 2012, worth checking out.

Some of the highlights:

Life Is Better With Wheels: "It is...clear that mobility is becoming a fundamental component in perceptions of today's quality of life."

Bentleys Are Irrational: "As a luxury performance brand, the reasons for purchasing a Bentley are based on a more emotional than rational need for transportation."

Emergency!: "As this document makes clear, the world is facing a potential crisis over climate change and access to energy."

Upshot is that Bentley is putting its money, it heaping piles of money, behind FlexFuel. But not really first generation biofuels, which because they are derived from crops that people need for food has caused, as the report points out, riots. They are basically endorsing second-generation biofuels, made from ~~heaps of decomposing filth~~ waste products. Later, the situation will get completely kick-ass, when we brew up all our biofuels from farmed ocean algae, and also drive FlexFuel Bentleys in a future in which their is no sickness or war and we all live to be 317.

But you know what? We approve of this high-ground-taking on Bentley's part. Leadership! Even if they persistently remind us that emissions generated by Bentleys amount to the equivalent of "two cans of Cola in an Olympic sized swimming pool"—in other words, not very dang much, when compared to other carmakers. Of course, that's a bit of a bogus claim when you consider that Bentley might not even exist were it not for the global auto industry.

Wagoner Says Gl W*g Not A Crock Of Something

Travis Hudson — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:05:00 EDT

Let's put our hands together for Rick Wagoner, the CEO and Chairman of General Motors, who just discovered how to clean up after his s**t-loving Vice-Chairman, "Maximum" Bob Lutz. It was exactly a month ago when we first told you about product czar "Maximum" Bob's claim that global warming was simply a crock of...you know...stuff and finally Wagoner is ready to touch on the topic. Wagoner told reporters in Washington that Lutz's comments about global warming "weren't coming out of the company."

When asked what he thought about global warming, Wagoner essentially said that the temperature is indeed rising. Yes, Wagoner, winter is fading for spring, I would hope the temperature would rise. I'll admit, I'm being a little rough on him and for that, I apologize for my crockery. [via WSJ]

Bob Lutz on Global Warming: "Total Crock of Shit"

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:45:00 EST

Agree or disagree with the sentiments of GM's product czar Bob Lutz, you have to respect him for his frankness. In our experience, it's fairly easy to identify a total crock of shit like global warming once you take into consideration the complex interactions of geophysics, global weather patterns and complex high atmosphere chemistry involved in climate change, which Lutz surely has. We're not here to make a statement on the science of climate change, and if Lutz wants to sell us shitboxes like the Cobalt and giant SUV's with mild hybrid systems stuffed into them all while flying his fighter jet around for shits and giggles we're fine with that. But then again, if the Vice Chairman of Global Product Development thinks this about climate change, it kind of makes a lot of GM's latest marketing a total crock of shit, too. [via D Magazine]

So Easy, a Kid Could Do It

Mike Bumbeck — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:00:00 EDT

Flying cars that dart about on the collective power of midichlorians are still a few years out. One of the wicked easy things we can do in to conserve fuel in the meantime is check our tire pressure. This fact was not lost on Savannah Walters , who at nine years old heard that we waste four million gallons of fuel per day due to underinflated tires. She took it upon herself to start a crusade to show us how easy it is to save some fuel by checking our tire pressure. Tires will lose about a pound of pressure per month on their own, so check early and often. [Savannah Walters via Pumpemup.org]

Swedes Torn Between Burly Cars, Cool Earth

Murilee Martin — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:30:03 EDT

Swedes have long been accustomed to packing their berserker physiques and cases of aquavit into bulky, gas-swilling Volvo wagons and equally thirsty hot-rod Saabs when they hit the Scandinavian road, but that may have to change, according to this article in the Gray Lady. The rest of Yurp is getting all squinchy-faced over Sweden's love of carbon-crazed cars, laying some heavy guilt-trippage on the Swedes, and it may be only a matter of time before Sven och Agnetha are crammed into a new Mitsubishi Minicamino. Hmm... a retro-style Minicamino could be the answer to global warming!

In Sweden, It's Global Warming vs. Big Heavy Cars [New York Times]

Related:
Europe Considers Banning High Performance Cars [internal]

Europe Considers Banning High Performance Cars

Jonny Lieberman — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:15:00 EDT

Sweet George Washington. Looks like the green-toothed, cheese-eating surrender monkeys are saddling up to the hoon-hating Pope. Sorry to revert to silly stereotypes, but this is just lousy. European leaders are in talks with each other discussing the possibility of banning high-powered sports cars on the Continent (and in Great Britain). Why? Global warming. The metric they are working with is that any car capable of going 25% faster than the Euro-norm of 130 kph (about 80 mph) is producing too much CO2. That means that under the proposal, any car that can travel 100 mph will be banned come 2013. Casting aside our hard-won journalistic integrity for a moment, this legislation is so impossibly stupid our head hurts. We once got our old 1.8-liter Sentra shitbox up to 120 mph in Arizona. Luckily, even if this does become law, none of this nonsense will have any legal teeth in Germany (because Germans are awesome), and as Germans make up a large number of the EU members with votes (99 out of 785) hopefully they can ~~beat~~ talk some sense into their ~~insane~~ stuffy friends. Or at least vote early and often. For the record, Jalopnik votes no. – Jonny Lieberman

Europe considers ban on performance cars [Motor Authority]

CARB Looks To Ban Refrigerant Sales To Public

Murilee Martin — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 18:30:54 EDT

The California Air Resources Board, in a attempt to comply with the greenhouse gas reduction requirements of Schwarzenegger-signed AB 32, votes today on a possible ban of small cans of air-conditioner refrigerant containing HFC 134a aka R134a (i.e., the supposedly ozone-layer-friendly stuff that replaced good ol' Freon). Ozone layer or not, the stuff is considered a global warming-enhancing gas, and the CARB figures that only licensed mechanics should be allowed to do air-conditioner recharges. Another instance of freedom-hatin' California lawmakers pissing on the can-do spirit of the Wild West, or are they forward-looking environmentalists saving the planet from chuckleheads who leak 15 cans of refrigerant into the air during a long weekend of Pep Boys-enabled backyard repair work? You decide! – Murilee Martin

Ban on canned auto air-conditioner coolant tops panel's agenda [Los Angeles Times]

Related:
Utah Teens Invent New Automotive A/C System [internal]

The Roar of the Masses Could Be Farts, Part 5: UK Encourages Less Meat Consumption

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:45:00 EDT

One of Los Jalops has been a vegetarian for nearly exactly twelve years now. At the time, he drove a V8 automobile. Twelve years later, he still drives a V8 automobile. That is to say, he's sort of a hypocrite, yet with the amount he actually drives said V8 automobile, coupled with his reduced appetite for methane-emitting agricultural beasts, he's pretty sure he's got the moral edge on rich people who slum in hybrids while tanking up once a week and dine early and often at Ruth's Chris. Apparently, a British government agency has decided that in the fight against climate change, the nation's citizenry should be gently pressured into eating fewer bangers and topping off their mash with a tad bit less butter. Needless to say, we're sure the cattle lobby in the UK is hopping mad. – Davey G. Johnson

Eat less meat to save planet: British official [Reuters via Slate]

Related:
The Roar of the Masses Could Be Farts, Part 1, 2, 3 and 4 [Internal]

Global Warming Ditty Raises Awareness, Shatters Glass

Mike Bumbeck — Wed, 30 May 2007 14:30:00 EDT

When we were in junior high we had an earth sciences teacher who taught us about carbon dioxide emissions, the greenhouse effect, and the rapidly approaching ice age. As Meatloaf bellowed out to Cher a little later - two out of three ain't bad. What us kids didn't have back then were video cameras, a bunch of guitars, an audience, or a band called the Blübirds. Let them eat jellybeans indeed. – Mike Bumbeck

El Presidente Congratulates Milka Duno

Mike Bumbeck — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:00:00 EDT

El Presidente Chavez says he is happy Venezuelan driver Milka Duno and Citgo will run the Indy 500, even though no gasoline will be involved. The surprise is that Al Gore or any other American politician didn't beat El Presidente to this ~~aggrandizement~~ political punch, considering Indy cars have been running on alternative fuel of the alcohol kind since the '60s. This year the traditional methanol has been replaced by a home-brewed ethanol special corn blend. Milk will still be served to the winner on Sunday, who El Presidente says will be Milka. – Mike Bumbeck

Chavez Congrats Milka [trackforums.com]

Related:
Holy Shit! You Can Run Racing Cars on Alcohol! [Internal]

Autobahn Speed Limits Now, Demands EU Environment Overlord

Murilee Martin — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 09:00:28 EDT

European Union Environment Commissioner Stavros Dimas told the Bild am Sonntag newspaper on Sunday that screaming autobahn speed jockeys "waste energy in a completely
senseless way and burden the climate" and called for unspecified speed limits as part of European efforts to reduce carbon emissions. For the most part, German leadfeet lack enthusiasm. – Murilee Martin

Highway Speed Limit Plan Irks Germans [SFGate.com]

Related:
Starlets on the Autobahn! [internal]

Go, Go, Mister Show! Group Wants to Shut Down Chicago Auto Show

Mike Spinelli — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 10:49:53 EST

Guess we'd better make other plans for this week, lest we run afoul of one pro-bicycle group that aims to shut down the Chicago auto show. The group, AutoShowShutdown.org recently launched a web parody of the Chicago show's site, on which they provided counterpoint to the show site's content. The group even rebuffed a cease-and-desist letter from the show's organizers, with the support of online free-speech advocates the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF). Their plan is to protest the show's "egregious display of automobile glorification" this coming Saturday, the first of the show's public days at Chicago's McCormick Place. Kind of reminds us of ourselves when we were wee lads protesting arrogant roadway bikers. Of course the only slogan we could come up with at the time was "We won't pedal, death to false metal!" Right, we didn't quit our day jobs. – Mike Spinelli

Press Release:

For Immediate Release

The Arctic ice cap is melting, and the polar bears are angry. They're coming to Chicago to help save their habitat. And now the auto show's lawyers are angry, too.

A new website, AutoShowShutdown.org, launched earlier this week as a parody of the Chicago Auto Show website to raise awareness about global warming, automobile fatalities, and other negative effects of private automobiles, and to promote sustainable transportation, has irked the auto industry. A letter sent from a lawyer representing the Chicago Auto Show threatens: "[T]he Chicago Automobile Trade Association and the Chicago Auto Show demand that you immediately cease and desist use of its marks in every way whatsoever. Should you fail to immediately take necessary corrective action, [we] will seek damages against you for trademark infringement."

The polar bears are ready for a fight. "I'm not scared of lawyers," said Snowball, a 1,000-pound polar bear. "There are many prior legal rulings that say industry can't use trademark infringement threats to squelch free speech and silence their critics. And besides, we polar bears are the only species that actually hunts humans, so those lawyers better be careful."

"It's time to save Snowball and all polar bears," said Dan Korn, an Auto Show SHUTDOWN Festival ringleader. "Chicago cyclists are proud to join up with our furry friends from the north to help save their homeland by riding bikes more and driving less. We demand that the Chicago Automobile Trade Association and the Chicago Auto Show immediately CEASE AND DESIST their egregious display of automobile glorification."

"The Auto Show can't stop thousands of citizens from attending the SHUTDOWN Festival, so they're moved their attacks online to try to shut down free speech," said Jason Schultz, an attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) representing the Auto Show SHUTDOWN Festival. "That just won't fly under the flag of the First Amendment."

WHAT: Eighth Annual Chicago Auto Show SHUTDOWN Festival
WHEN: Saturday, February 10, 2007, 11:00 am
WHERE: Meet at Daley Plaza at 11 am, ride to the McCormick Place Cermak Road Entrance at 12 noon.
WHO: Snowball and dozens of his furry friends, along with hundreds of cyclists, and special guests.
HOW: Street theatre, bicycles, and other fun activities.
WHY: To peacefully SHUT DOWN the Auto Show, to save the polar bears, and to save the humans too!

Auto Show SHUTDOWN festivities will include:
* Polar Bear Bicycle Parade, Stunt Riding Demonstration, Muffler and Snow Tire Juggling.
* SUV/Canoe Trade-In Area. Prepare for the flood before it's too late!
* Unveiling and test rides of the cheap, fun, and non-polluting Vehicles of Tomorrow.
* Snowball the Bear, Uncle Sam, Superman, Santa, the Rev. H. Antiford, and other guests!

The Auto Show Shutdown Association is a group of individuals working to run the Auto Show out of town, and have a good time doing it.

[via Carscoop]

The LA Times Calls Lockyer's Lawsuit Bluff

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 23:15:00 EDT

We just checked out an op-ed piece in the LAT and we have to agree — it's simply not sporting for California AG Bill Lockyer to sue automakers for obeying the law. Every new car sold by the major automakers in California meets CARB emissions standards, so how can an agent of the state sue people for obeying the law? It sets a ridiculous precedent. Matters such as this need to be handled via the legislature, not by tying up the courts, which have more pressing matters to attend to. We expected more from you, Bill. Punto basta.

Cars as Global Warming's Causes [LA Times]