I've seen a few of these. My favorite is the one where the guy gets knocked over by the door, then the car rolls over him and gets stuck, throttle pegged out.
Man that must be a bitch, red hot exhaust system cooking your nads while madly spinny bits are threatening to tear off your eyelids. And you can't do a damn thing about it - unless you're Dr. David Banner, you don't bench press even an Ariel Atom off your chest. And to make it worse, somebody's got to climb into the car to pry the stick off the gas so they can lift it off you. Yeah, you're cool.
Stay IN THE CAR numbnuts. Step out, and you're just another spectator.
The though process must have went something like this:
1) Start doing donuts (The crowd loves it. It really highlights my skills. How is my hair? Little more gel. There we go. BMWs really have the best vanity mirrors, er precision german engineered reflection spectors. They are the ultimate driving machine and I am the ultimate driver. Oh yes driving.)
2) Step out of car and let it do donuts around me. My precision plus the german precision ensures that it will perfectly circle me. (I will look alouf. I've got this. Maybe I can change my sunglasses. I'll be the Mr. Rogers of BMW ghost riding. I wish I had a trolly that could take me to the land of make believe. I would totally have an M3, no an M6... convertible so everyone can see how awesome I am.)
3) Walk up to the car open the door and wave to my adoring crowd. (I am so awesome)
In reality:
Step 1) easy enough, 2) didn't go around me. Now it is doing donuts in front of me (maybe I can just go into the crowd and tell the cops that someone stole my car and made it do donuts with no driver. Dietrich... yeah Dietrich did it.), 3) I guess I should go get it. (I hope I look smooth as I walk up to the car. Oh crap, I am running around like an idiot.)
I'd give up my star to re-starr/unban our best commenters. This post would be full of hilarious commentary. Bring them back!
http://jezebel.com/5325756/paris-hilton-is-still-boring-heres-why...#comments
@MrBangBam: Wait have they been banned from the whole network or just jezebel? I don't see any of them on this thread. It would be sad if they were gone, too bad I don't have a star to donate with you.
@MrBangBam: It really isn't the same without them. I hope they make it back to havin' stars here soon, because instead of being truly epic this is just sorta full of lulz.
@Neener: Zpmadd (Some Jezel) : I'm really sicked by the comments on this. Yikes, people.
Fading Captain: @zpmadd:
Join the club. I'm disgusted. Man, expected so much more out of myself dog-fucking and Ted Kennedy was all I could come up with. Obviously, haven't had enough to drink.
engineerd: @zpmadd: Replace "Paris" or "Paris Hilton" with "Sarah Palin" and it's all acceptable. (engineerd unstarred for this comment)
@MrBangBam: I couldn't figure out any of it. But the sheer volume of their comments and the assumption that they were on par with their usual comments had me laughing my ass off...
@MrBangBam: From later in that same post, from pauljones:
No. Not really.
In truth, the comments that you read were little more than a tasteless attempt at humor by a bunch of guys that have aren't always particularly skilled at understanding gender differences in thought and behavior. I will assert that it was a good-natured attempt at trying to interact with a culture that is completely alien to our own, but it was certainly a poorly thought-out attempt.
For that, you have my apologies.
morninggloria, kindly check your private messages.
I'm assuming that pauljones is trying to negotiate the release of the captives.
@MrBangBam: Apparently if you have the gall to post their at all and you aren't one of the chosen few you are banned imediately. Doesn't seem like MarywithanM deserved it. Tolerant group over there.
@acarr260: Yes, in more ways than are actually visible.
I may as well have been talking to brick wall for all the response that I am likely to get, however.
I have no problem with a little harmless trolling, but I have to admit that even I am embarrassed at this point. That was just not a good way to represent the Jalopnik commentariat. As I have pointed out in the QOTD thread, I have no doubt that they were just trying to kick a little harmless fun. They could have done so in a more appropriate way, however, given the context of what site they were commenting on.
At this point, I feel like a duck in a cave. I have made every effort I can at this point, but it has all just disappeared without so much as an echo in return.
07/30/09
07/30/09
Unless, this is another insidious government plan to get old clunkers off the road. Then it's genius.
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
not heel-and-toeing
it's cinder blocks
not heel-and-toeing
NICE
07/30/09
Man that must be a bitch, red hot exhaust system cooking your nads while madly spinny bits are threatening to tear off your eyelids. And you can't do a damn thing about it - unless you're Dr. David Banner, you don't bench press even an Ariel Atom off your chest. And to make it worse, somebody's got to climb into the car to pry the stick off the gas so they can lift it off you. Yeah, you're cool.
Stay IN THE CAR numbnuts. Step out, and you're just another spectator.
07/30/09
07/30/09
That only works for youtube vids, but is loads of fun.
07/30/09
07/30/09
COTD-stealin razzafrazza
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
(check your messages.)
07/30/09
When the donut ghost drives into the crowd, it'll be a ghost crowd. (Ditto to you).
07/30/09
07/30/09
1) Start doing donuts (The crowd loves it. It really highlights my skills. How is my hair? Little more gel. There we go. BMWs really have the best vanity mirrors, er precision german engineered reflection spectors. They are the ultimate driving machine and I am the ultimate driver. Oh yes driving.)
2) Step out of car and let it do donuts around me. My precision plus the german precision ensures that it will perfectly circle me. (I will look alouf. I've got this. Maybe I can change my sunglasses. I'll be the Mr. Rogers of BMW ghost riding. I wish I had a trolly that could take me to the land of make believe. I would totally have an M3, no an M6... convertible so everyone can see how awesome I am.)
3) Walk up to the car open the door and wave to my adoring crowd. (I am so awesome)
In reality:
Step 1) easy enough, 2) didn't go around me. Now it is doing donuts in front of me (maybe I can just go into the crowd and tell the cops that someone stole my car and made it do donuts with no driver. Dietrich... yeah Dietrich did it.), 3) I guess I should go get it. (I hope I look smooth as I walk up to the car. Oh crap, I am running around like an idiot.)
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
http://jezebel.com/5325756/paris-hilton-is-still-boring-heres-why...#comments
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
Marywithanm: ....But she was not a whore. Seriously effed up and slutty, but not a whore.
C0de: And what, pray tell, is the difference between a slut and a whore?
Texanidiot25: Sluts just do it. Whores get paid to do it.Whores are smart.
07/30/09
07/30/09
Fading Captain: @zpmadd:
Join the club. I'm disgusted. Man, expected so much more out of myself dog-fucking and Ted Kennedy was all I could come up with. Obviously, haven't had enough to drink.
engineerd: @zpmadd: Replace "Paris" or "Paris Hilton" with "Sarah Palin" and it's all acceptable. (engineerd unstarred for this comment)
I can't figure out the rest of that thread :(
07/30/09
07/30/09
No. Not really.
In truth, the comments that you read were little more than a tasteless attempt at humor by a bunch of guys that have aren't always particularly skilled at understanding gender differences in thought and behavior. I will assert that it was a good-natured attempt at trying to interact with a culture that is completely alien to our own, but it was certainly a poorly thought-out attempt.
For that, you have my apologies.
morninggloria, kindly check your private messages.
I'm assuming that pauljones is trying to negotiate the release of the captives.
07/30/09
07/30/09
07/30/09
I may as well have been talking to brick wall for all the response that I am likely to get, however.
I have no problem with a little harmless trolling, but I have to admit that even I am embarrassed at this point. That was just not a good way to represent the Jalopnik commentariat. As I have pointed out in the QOTD thread, I have no doubt that they were just trying to kick a little harmless fun. They could have done so in a more appropriate way, however, given the context of what site they were commenting on.
At this point, I feel like a duck in a cave. I have made every effort I can at this point, but it has all just disappeared without so much as an echo in return.
I'm going to go have a beer now.
07/30/09
07/31/09
07/30/09
07/30/09