Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #geoffhoon more → 
Hoon Appointed UK Secretary Of State For Transport
Detroit, 8:55 PM
Tue Dec 1
29 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler |
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin |
Associate Editor - Houston:
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Editor-at-Large:
Contributors:
John Krewson |
| posts about #geoffhoon more → |
Hoon Appointed UK Secretary Of State For Transport |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
11/25/08
Doot doot-doot dodododo dee-doot
Got a new SOS of Transport
(tell us what he's like)
Environmentalist Guy
(does he ride a bike)
No but he sure does like speed cameras
(generating cash)
And he'll take away your license
(what a damn jackass)
Geoff Moo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oon
He's not an intellectual
Geoff Hoon, Geoff Hoon, Geoff Hoon, Geoff Hoon
His policy's quite ineffectual
(Geoff Hoon, Geoff Hoon, Geoff Hoon)
He says he's "car mad", but not from what he owns
He don't like cars, and he sure sucks the bone
11/25/08
It's terrifying how it manages to merge 1984 and Silent Spring in a nightmarish destruction of personal freedoms and common sense.
11/25/08
Goodnight Hoon.
Goodnight Safety Buffoon.
Goodnight speed camera platoon.
Goodnight personal freedom, it'll be 1984 soon.
11/25/08
Which one does his husband get to drive?
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
There are known speed limits.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known speed limits.
That is to say
We know there are some speed limits
We do not know.
But there are also unknown Secretaries of State for transport,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
I am Don Rumsfeld and i approve this message.
11/25/08
"O, wonder!
How many goodly traffic compliance devices are there here!
How beauteous concealed camera control is!
O Brave New Hoon, that legislates such mechanisms in't!"
The Tempest (V, i)
11/25/08
Other favoured oxymorons include Peacekeeping Force, Fun Run and Skoda Superb.
And, yea, verily, I am a man frustrated. Wes, you've picked up on the fact that the English way is now to roll over and accept whatever we have thrown at us.
But we do it for our selves. There are no where near enough riots in this country. We need a bit of anarchy to achieve reform. We ought really throw off our chains and go government-overthrowing.
I would start a revolution, but tragically the majority of the UK would rather stay at home out of the drizzle.
With a nice hot cup of tea and a copy of the Daily Mail to help them form their opinions.
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
"And remember to slow for the 40mph extra-urban limits, where no children play, the roads are straight and clear, pedestrians are nowhere to be seen and accidents never happen, but which are deemed as places suitable for a 40mph limit not to line treasury coffers, but to reduce the impact that the common man has on his environment.
"And notwithstanding the fact that the poor have to be doubly careful, while big earners can be piloted in their Flying Spur at think-of-a-number-and-double it speeds, and if the driver loses his license and gets fired, just employ a new driver and carry on..."
Otherwise, not really.
11/25/08
11/25/08
I don't like watchin' the nannies gather strength
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
11/25/08
Oh, did Hoon visit here and give a press conference?
11/25/08
That's him.
(with Rumsfeld giving the cranky old man stare)