Julia Corker, the daughter of the so-called "Senator from Nissan", was pulled by her neck out of the Tahoe late at night and the attacker snagged the Tahoe. Thankfully, she's fine. Shortly after the carjacking GM OnStar tracked down the car, contacted police, and two suspects were taken into custody.

Weirdly, Corker's Chief of Staff says the Senator was about to cancel the subscription to OnStar. Good thing he didn't.

[The Chattanoogan]

Photo Credit: Rusty Russell/Getty Images

Cover: This is where we used to put all the new BMW 3-series and Chevrolet Corvette variants. Now, you'll notice a bunch of new and unexpected cars, like the Miata.

Noted Notables:

* Notice how the cover image itself no longer sucks.

* OCDers such as myself find that the red and blue bars around the "and" now extend that last pica down to the baseline. You'll sleep better tonight knowing that, trust me.

Table of Contents: Whereas Car and Driver's previous table of contents (TOC) used to have all the easy readability of Finnegan's Wake, we tried to make the revised TOC a model of clarity and simplicity.

Noted Notables:

* All the big features are on the front page.

* All the other departments are on the second page.

* We decided not to describe TOC on the TOC itself, for fear that time-space would collapse upon itself.

Columns: Traditionally, there have been two types of C/D readers: Those who skip the columns, and those who write several hundred letters a month describing their various disappointments with said columns. With this new design, we expect this to remain unchanged.

Upfront: With all the Internets out there, how can a monthly magazine do breaking news with a straight face? It can't, which is why we're not doing it anymore (Praise the Lord! —Ed.). Upfront will instead be a mini-features section with long-range forecasting, infographics, humor pieces and standing elements like Tech. Dept., which breaks down some recent piece of new technology.

Noted Notables:

* This section opens with a big marquee that carries a mini-TOC over it, giving you a free first hit of all the dope (Dropping the precious slang...you know, for kids! — Ed.) inside.

* Arrows! Arrows!

* The rail-type navigation at the top of the section's pages is an old C/D hallmark, and it's back because it looks cool and it works. With a glance up at the page corner, you always know where you are, even if you already knew you were on the toilet.

Feature Well:

Rigidly formatted websites like this here Jalopyneck are great at delivering quick info, scoops, photos, and interaction, but in general even with great photos the web doesn't allow for the visual differentiation of one story from the next, and it struggles to impose a hierarchy on stories. A magazine is different. Great photography and art direction make each print story unique and allow the reader to sink into the page. Smart story pacing lets the reader know what's most important. This redesign plays to those strengths of the printed page, and does what this medium does best: Epic visuals, longer stories and comparison tests, and great packages jam-packed with stuff.

The Charts: We made the comparison-test charts easier to use by putting all the info in one place, rather than scattering the various pieces around like so many chicken parts in a Santeria ritual.

Noted Notables:

* The bar graphs are back! Long the best part of the entire goddamn magazine, our comparative bar graphs return to the road-test page.

* Also, check out the sweet fake magnifying glass in there. Designing that took Nathan, like, three hours.

Drivelines: What's a car magazine without car reviews? Nothing, that's what. The revised Drivelines section will provide more piquant opinion and more background on the cars we cover.

Noted Notables:

* The thumbs-up/thumbs-down graphic replaces the "highs/lows," because Recreational Drugs Fortnightly threatened to sue.

Gearbox: At Car and Driver, we test stuff. We don't just paraphrase the press release for the latest auto-fellator - we actually do the hard research. Every month, the Gearbox section will put a category of accessories or tools or other aftermarket hardware through its paces.

What I'd Do Differently:

Wherein we try to get really important people to tell us how they've screwed up. Rarely works.

(You can read Car and Driver by subscribing — it's only, like, $10 a year — or you can buy an issue at a newsstand — it's only, like, $10 per issue. — Ed.)

Now don't get us wrong — we feel for Sarah, but when you pop them up in public in a place like GM's public page, well, all bets are off. Plus, comments like Ed Whitacre being "selfish" help us to understand the new interim CEO just a little bit more. Here's the full text:

"HE FUCKING GOT ASKED TO STEP DOWN ALL OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. IM FRITZ'S FUCKING DAUGHTER, AND HE DID NOT FUCKING RESIGN. WHITACRE IS A SELFISH PIECE OF SHIFT, WHO CARES ABOUT HIMSELF AND NOT THE FUCKING COMPANY. HAVE FUN WITH GM, I HOPE TO NEVER BUY FROM THIS GOD FORESAKEN COMPANY EVERY AGAIN. FUCK ALL OF YOU."

But, it's not like we can blame the kid — we'd be pretty pissed at Ed Whitacre too if he were selfish and wanting to run Government Motors all by himself. (Hat tip to highmileage!)

Crudele's looking to "rent" the Corvette from All American Chevy in Middletown, NJ by using and abusing GM's 60-day money back guarantee. Good idea right? Yeah, except that — if you'll remember from our guide on how to screw GM out of a 60-day money back guarantee — if he puts so much as a ding, dent or scratch in it, he'll be liable for the full price of the 'vette. Now, we're not saying you should put a ding, dent or scracth into Crudele's new 'merican super car. But we can imagine it'd be pretty difficult to not want to do it if we saw it parked — you know — anywhere.

If anyone spots Crudele, be sure to snap a picture of him and his new Corvette to send in to our tips line — if he ends up actually following through with his dastardly plan to screw himself out of taxpayer-paid bailout money. We'll call it Crudele Corvette Watch. [NY Post]

It was little more than half-a-century ago the armies of Rome, Berlin and Tokyo were defeated by Detroit's "Arsenal of Democracy" equipped by American carmakers. Yet to hear it lately from conservatives and leaders in the Republican Party, American automakers are what's wrong with this country, should be boycotted, and go bankrupt.

Senator John McCain told reporters that we should have never bailed out Chrysler and GM and let them go under.

"No, I don't think we ever should have bailed out Chrysler and General Motors," McCain told The Detroit News. "We should have let them go into bankruptcy, emerge and become viable corporations again."

This, of course, while he was out drumming up support for his 2010 Senate run while serving as the grand marshal of a NASCAR event where the very good ol' boys he was drumming up support from were watching Chrysler and GM products race. And, as The Detroit News points out, we did let them go into bankruptcy. We're still waiting to find out whether they'll emerge as stronger companies.

Confusingly, McCain seems to be channeling John Kerry in being for the bailout before he was against it. Now, of course, he's going so far as to refer to it as "Socialism."

And just this weekend RNC Chairman Michael Steele responded to the news of GM going further in debt by pointing out this statement:

"Today's release of General Motors' financial results is further proof that President Obama's economic experiments are wrong for America."

Of course, GM lost $4.2 billion in the third-quarter last year so this is actually an improvement, of sorts. And GM also announced they'd be repaying loans ahead of schedule.

So who do the Republicans like? At last year's Detroit Auto Show we had a conversation with Senator Bob Corker, the Republican who lead the charge against the bailout, and he talked about the Volkswagens he loves. Not a surprise given VW is joining Nissan in building a huge plant in his state.

In fact, there have been a number of foreign car companies moving better-than-minimum-wage assembly plants into states represented by Republican senators, including BMW in South Carolina, Toyota in Texas, Nissan/VW in Tennessee, and Mercedes-Benz and Hyundai in Alabama. Of course, we can't blame the Chrysler-Fiat "Global Strategic Alliance" alliance on the Republican party.

So when the far right goes to Boycott GM they're doing so for the benefit of companies like Volkswagen and Toyota, who have both surpassed GM as the world's largest automaker in the last year.

Ironically, this is the same Republican party upset about the Chinese purchase of Hummer. As Republican Representative Duncan Hunter told the Wall Street Journal: "Any money that is going to China or to Chinese companies is contributing in some way to China's military buildup."

So supporting American car companies is socialism and supporting every other country's investments in production capacity is capitalism and therefore good for America.

But hey, the Germans, Japanese, Chinese and Italians are our friends so who says we need any domestic car production or car companies? Of course, we're probably just paranoid. Maybe the real reason the Republicans hate GM and Chrysler is just that they really like Ford.

Photo Credit: DiggerHistory

"These new plates, in the official colors of the State of New York, will help maintain highway safety, reduce the number of unregistered and uninsured vehicles on our roads, and generate $129 million in General Fund revenue over two years, which will help address the State's financial crisis," said State Commissioner of Motor Vehicles David J. Swarts yesterday. It's that $129 million that people are taking issue with.

Where most private owners will only be responsible for one or two cars' worth of $25 fees, small business owners fear the "plate tax" unfairly targets them. It's hard to understand the kerfuffle over a $25 fee, but multiply that by a fleet of, say, 300 vehicles and you begin to understand the objection. An anti-new NY plate site has already sprung up, NoNewPlates.com, where over 57,000 people have already signed a petition opposing the plate's implementation.

Rather than simply representing a permanent increase to registration fees, the new plates are controversial because they're being added as an additional one-off cost for all motorists. Albany is perceived to have manufactured the need for them, suddenly citing visibility concerns with the old plates seemingly out of the blue (and white).

The plates will begin rolling out in March next year, and will be mandatory with all new vehicle registrations and renewals. The state already raised general license and registration fees 25% in September.

The report from the Pentagon comptroller was requested as a part of Obama administration's reconsideration of Afghanistan strategy. The price comes as a result of an investigation into why it costs approximately $1 billion a day to send every 1,000 troops into Afghanistan.

Now, there's a lot baked into that $400 a gallon price. Consider that in addition to the basic extraction and refinement costs of normal military fuel, priced at $2.78, it has to be sourced from secure facilities with high security to prevent sabotage, it must be transported across the regions difficult terrain and to remote locations using overland or air transit, and it must be guarded from attack at all times. It's also a variable price, and is not standard for all regions of Afghanistan, some areas are cheaper, and believe it or not, some are even more expensive, ranging up to $1,000 a gallon. Still, the $400 price is nothing short of breathtaking. To put things in even more sobering terms, the report goes on to state the Marines alone, in one day in Afghanistan, consume an average of 800,000 gallons of fuel. [The Hill]

Photo Credit: LIU JIN/AFP/Getty Images

Photo Credit: JUAN BARRETO/AFP/Getty Images

Not only is Detroit a great place to film a movie like Red Dawn 2 because they'll allow you to blow up downtown buildings without a care in the world, but also because folks in certain parts of the region will futilely shout the name of a certain non-indigenous-to-Michigan furry animal on a fall Saturday without any prodding whatsoever. Usually it's with the word "Go" attached to the front of it — but that can be fixed in post-production, right? Anyway, here's the shot of that Humvee we were talking about above.

We knew selling Hummer to the Chinese would lead to disaster — and us having to fend off the red menace with nothing but a Dodge Ram. There's a slew of other pics of filming in downtown Detroit here.

Anyone else take any shots? If so, drop 'em in the comments below.

A member of THE H.A.M.B. forum posted the picture from the review showing his car being raced against the X6. The car's owner stated:

This months car and driver has a artical about a bmw twin turbo suv that goes anywhere,hauls anything and beats anything.They show it hauling bails of straw and driving on the e-way and then beating a stright axle,fuel injected,altered wheelbase 63 chevy II on the dragstrip................Whooooooa. That is my chevy and that little red suv couldn't beat my car in its wildest dreams. Do they really have to photo crop and mis-represent the public into thinking if they buy a bmw suv,then thay too can do what their mag says. I hope someone who advertises in that book see's this and decides on why they support the down rite lies they print.

Though the article never explicitly states that it's racing the other cars, the phot ogallery is full of shots of the X6 racing various vehicles it turns out weren't actually there. So what does CarandDriver have to say about this? They use this obviously embarrassing moment to take a tongue-in-cheek potshot at John Phillips, a writer for the buff book who penned the article.

CarandDriver Official Response:
John Phillips became so attached to the BMW X6M that it - appropriately enough - triggered many irrational responses. One of these was his insistence that we photoshop the BMW beating the clearly superior Chevy Nova. Any attempt to dissuade him - by telling him, for instance, that only an idiot would believe a BMW SUV could beat a purpose-built drag car - just resulted in heated calls to the suicide hotline and even more foaming at the mouth than usual.

It's funny, but we think CarandDriver needs to either apologize to the owners whose cars were being portrayed as losers or actually race them for pinks. We'll even pay Csaba to come out and judge.

(Hat tip to Cody!) [THE H.A.M.B.]

Worse yet, we're also told the IRS has now put a lien on his family's home in Birmingham, Michigan. According to the lien notice filed with the Oakland County Register of Deeds on Sept. 1st, Press, Chrysler Group LLC's deputy CEO, and his wife, Suwichada, have an unpaid balance of $947,409.63. The filing said the unpaid balance is for the tax period ending Dec. 31, 2007.

Chrysler PR officials have declined to comment, saying only that it's a personal matter. Yes, a personal matter rising from a private equity firm over-paying for a starved-for-resources U.S. automaker and an over-hyped Toyota executive that then required a multi-billion-dollar bailout from the federal government in order to stave off the bankruptcy sharks. Sure, yeah, it's totally a personal matter.

[Freep via Allpar]

Photo Credit: Getty Images News

These ads range from relatively tame to overtly sexual and ass-filled, so don't say we didn't warn you.

What it's advertising: Slower driving during the rain
Where it's advertising: On a billboard in New Zealand
Why it's graphic: When it rains, the child's face bleeds. To boys the same age as the kid on the billboard, possibly the coolest thing ever, but disturbing to everyone else. Particularly when you think of all the products this technology could be used to advertise (don't tell PETA or Oscar Mayer about this).

What it's advertising: A special kind of piercing
Where it's advertising: One of Rotterdam's basketball courts
Why it's graphic: The rim of the goal forms a ring around another sort of goal with a ring around it. Sexy, until you realize you're probably not physically powerful enough to reach it.

Photo Credit: The Cool Hunter via Interbent

What it's advertising: A Calcium Supplement
Where it's advertising: India
Why it's graphic: This is actually unintentionally graphic. Though it's about "strong bones" it actually looks a different kind of bone. And what are those kids looking at?

What it's advertising: Environmental protection
Where it's advertising: Over a sewer in Beijing
Why it's graphic: This is probably the most graphic of the many, many ass-themed graphic ads, showing foul smelling water pouring out of a pair of cheeks. Since this is in a country where they imprison pornographers, we assume they cover up the billboard when they power-snake the drain.

Photo Credit: AdsOfTheWorld

What it's advertising: Anti-domestic abuse
Where it's advertising: German bus shelter
Why it's graphic: When the person at this bus shelter turns away, the happy couple turns into a man beating a woman. We admire the intent, but frankly, riding the bus is plenty depressing enough already.

What it's advertising: The Peugeot 206 HDi Coupe
Where it's advertising: On the butt
Why it's graphic: We have to give credit to Pug's advertisers for thinking with their bottoms, though this ad encourages staring at taillights instead of the road. Also, it doesn't look like there's enough room for all our junk in that trunk.

Photo Credit: BestSnippits.com

What it's advertising: A strip club
Where it's advertising: On poles around London, England.
Why it's graphic: They've cleverly designed the ads to make it appear like the strippers are doing their thing along actual street lamp poles. Knowing ad guys, we're thinking this took about three minutes to brainstorm and three months to find the talent.

Photo Credit: The Cool Hunter via Interbent

What it's advertising: Finding a job
Where it's advertising: In a line for a German event
Why it's graphic: These brown-nosers are going straight for a prime brown-nosing spot. Unfortunately, it kind of makes us not want a job at all, which is counterproductive.

Photo Credit: Interbent

What it's advertising: Bustop Lingerie
Where it's advertising: On a wall in New Zealand
Why it's graphic: Basically, it's an upskirt shot on the side of a building. However, an in-depth examination of the complicated symbology and semiotics involved reveals that it's... well, an upskirt shot on the side of a building.

Photo Credit: Interbent

What it's advertising: A new Wonderbra
Where it's advertising: British bus shelter
Why it's graphic: It's been made to look like someone vandalized it by cracking holes where the nipples go. Oh, wait, no, we get it. It's extremely cold out! Or Wonderbras are made of synthetic diamond, in which case, under no circumstances should you put 'em on the glass.

Photo Credit: Telegraph.co.uk

We don't think so. We know from experience Don Draper drives a 1962 Cadillac Coupe de Ville and, in fact, makes a reference to bombing German factories in season one. More importantly than the context clues, though, is the image.

The BMW 3-series is so junior executive. So Pete Campbell. Draper has constructed this facade of success and confidence that acts as a shell around a void he tries to fill with liquor, cigarettes, and cheap sex. That just screams Mercedes S63 AMG.

[Ads Of The World]

We spoke with two unnamed sources at GM, one in design and one in marketing. Both told us the same thing — the Buick crossover was killed after higher-ups read tweets decrying the styling of the plug-in electric platform prostitute of a crossover. Specifically, conversations like the following:

Which echo comments from "consumers" that were also in attendance at the events of last week:

So what does this mean? It means GM's actually listening to people providing feedback and in this case, the, as GM spokesman Jim Hopson told us moments ago, "the overwhelmingly negative response to this vehicle coming out of this event." So there you go kids, join Twitter, and you too can help GM decide which vehicles to build and which vehicles not to build.

Also, you can probably hear about people getting to work, buying a coffee and other asinine and useless information.

[ myfoxny]

Celebrity: David Hasselhoff and Gary Coleman
Car: K.I.T.T.
Why So Embarrassing: It's the creepy thumbs up that makes this picture awesome to everyone not in it.
Suggested By: F1Morgan, Scandanavian Flick

Celebrity: 50 Cent
Car: Pontiac G8 GXP
Why So Embarrassing: Though we love the car, it doesn't particularly do it any good to get tarted up by 50 Cent on what seems to be the down-slope of his career. We bet Kanye could have sold more G8s.
Suggested By: BuickBoy92

Celebrity: Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, John Travolta, William H. Macy
Car: Harley Davidson Bikes
Why So Embarrassing: The four of them look like a gay biker gang, but not in the good way. We do give them props for their realistic portrayal of the typical lame Harley owner in this shot from the film Wild Hogs.
Suggested By: Golferal

Celebrity: Michael Johnson
Car: C4 Corvette
Why So Embarrassing: Oh so 1990s. You may be fast, but you'll never outrun this Glamour Shot.
Photo Credit: Mike Powell /Allsport

Celebrity: Mila Kunis
Car: Lexus SC430
Why So Embarrassing: We're not big fans of the Lexus SC430, but it's not particularly embarrassing. Parking it in a handicapped spot to grab a coffee is.

Celebrity: Michael Phelps
Car: Mazda6/Atenza
Why So Embarrassing: Immediately following his pot bust/gold medal marathon Phelps was tasked with pushing the Mazda brand in China. We'd probably start using drugs as well.

Celebrity: Andre Agassi
Car: Vector W8
Why So Embarrassing: Posing near a Vector W8 is only cool in a semi-ironic sort of way. In this case, Agassi is trying to show off all he has: big hair, awkward car, soon-to-be-ex girlfriend.

Photo Credit: John Russell/Getty Images

Celebrity: Danica Patrick
Car: Chevrolet Bel Air
Why So Embarrassing: Danica Patrick is talented, but she also understands the connection between her sex appeal and her ability to get sponsors. Unfortunately, this photo is just awkward. It's supposed to be enticing and seductive but the strange outfit and uncomfortable look makes us wish we'd never seen this photo.
Suggested By: PowerMatic

Photo Credit: FHM/George Holz/JEGPhoto

Celebrity: Adam West
Car: Chrysler 300C
Why So Embarrassing: Adam West, Batman, drives an old man car. Whatever, he's hilarious. He gets away with it. What he doesn't get away with is the "NBR1BAT" license plate. Holy Vanity Plate Batman!
Suggested By: 57sweptside

Celebrity: Conan O'Brien
Car: Ford Taurus SHO
Why So Embarrassing: Yes, Conan O'Brien is trying to look ridiculous. Yes, we love the Ford Taurus SHO. This is embarrassing for Conan because his attempts at appearing silly fail. You look awesome Conan.
Suggested By: Nerdwa

Celebrity: Sting
Car: Toyota Prius
Why So Embarrassing: Really, the guy who wrote Outlandos d'Amour is suddenly out cruising town in a Prius. We thought tantric sex was about extending the pleasure. Hybrids cut it way short, Gordy.
Suggested By: JamesMarino

Celebrity: Michael Schumacher
Car: Fiat Work Van
Why So Embarrassing: Schumacher looks the part too well. Also, "the quick gardner" sounds like a bad German translation of a man who fires quickly in bed.
Suggested By: Mr_Sives_Remotoc.

This is open to debate, of course, and there are films we deplore that didn't make this list. Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments and feel free to add some YouTube clips to support your choices. In the meantime, click next to see what we're talking about.

12.) Gone In 60 Seconds (Remake)
Director: Dominic Sena
Year Debuted: 2000
Why It's Awful: It's not as if the original Gone In 60 Seconds is the best example of cinema ever, it just features great cars. Unfortunately, the remake manages to lose some of the verve and spark of the first film and replaces it with Jerry Bruckhiemer-induced stunts and a truly awful performance from Angeline Jolie. Oh well, it's always fun to watch Nick Cage.

11.) Herbie: Fully Loaded
Director: Angle Robinson
Year Debuted: 2005
Why It's Awful: As cute as the original Herbie movies are, this remake smacks of Disney-fied unoriginality and features Herbie racing in a NASCAR race. It also features Lindsay Lohan's rise into womanhood (which involved, allegedly, a digital breast reduction) and her decline into substance abuse. We're going to show you the blooper real, because it's actually more entertaining than the film itself.

10.) Black Moon Rising
Director: Harvey Cokliss
Year Debuted: 1986
Why It's Awful: Other than the general 1980s-ness, as exemplified by the appearance of both a big-haired Linda Hamilton and Bubba Smith, the production value of the film isn't as bad as some of the others here. Written by John Carpenter and directed with a touch of science fiction noir (hey, everyone loves Blade Runner!) the worst part of the film is that the titular Black Moon concept cars is based on the hideous Wingho Concordia II. It's a bad Canadian, Bertone-rejected wedge unimpressive even by 1980s standards.

9.) Race The Sun
Director: Charles T. Kanganis
Year Debuted: 1996
Why It's Awful: Wait? A movie with both Halle Berry and Jim Belushi? About a high school solar racing team that came in 18th place? Oh man, nothing beats bratty teenagers (played by pre-fame Casey Affleck and Eliza Dushku) and alternative energy. It's like October Sky... in Hawaii! We couldn't actually find a youtube video of this, but the photo above and your imagination should do the trick.

8.) The Wraith
Year Debuted: 1986
Director: Mike Marvin
Why It's Awful: It's like the original Fast And The Furious with a street-racing gang. But instead of Vin Diesel you have a cosmically resurrected teenager. And instead of driving around in a souped-up DSM he has a Dodge prototype. Oh, and rather than Jordana Brewster to stare at you have Clint Howard.

<7.) The Dukes Of Hazzard
Year Debuted: 2005
Director: Jay Chandrasekhar
Why It's Awful: It's not as if The Dukes of Hazzard was a particularly great television show, but it had its moments. Other than Willie Nelson, the movie had almost nothing worth salvaging. We even like the director, Chandrasekhar, who directed some of the funniest episodes of Arrested Development. Extra points for being yet another film on this list featuring Burt Reynolds.

6.) Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
Year Debuted: 2009
Director: Michael Bay
Why It's Awful: As you can read here and here, the genius of Michael Bay is making lots of money by getting people to watch a movie mostly unwatchable. There's no car pr0n in this one, like the original. It's mostly just a bunch of nearly identical robots tearing pieces of metal off of each other for reasons unclear to anyone who doesn't follow the intricacies of the Transformers canon.

5.) Smokey And The Bandit III
Year Debuted: 1983
Director: Dick Lowry
Why It's Awful: A movie so bad Burt Reynolds wouldn't appear it, the plot of Smokey And The Bandit 3 includes Jerry Reed as the Bandit and Jackie Gleason betting away his badge. Rumor has it that Jackie Gleason originally played the Bandit but test audiences didn't get it. Either way, nothing really explains why certain scenes exist or what happens. And to top it all off, there's a sex scene with Jackie Gleason. The-Watercooler.com explains the rest above.

4.) RPM
Year Debuted: 1998
Director: Ian Sharp
Why It's Awful: We were surprised to discover, in doing our background research for why RPM is so awful, that there's no Wikipedia entry for RPM. There's a wikipedia page for The Alarmist and for the made-for-tv-movie with David Arquette The Webbers. Why no page for RPM? We think it's a vast conspiracy perperated by Courtney Cox to make us forget the film. Great cars, bad acting, and David Arquette. Need we say more?

3.) 2 Fast, 2 Furious
Year Debuted: 2003
Director: John Singleton
Why It's Awful: Lacking almost any of the charm, or the cast, of the original, 2 Fast 2 Furious matches the acting skills of Ludacris with dialogue that goes from campy and technically dubious to downright awful. The film is dreadfully slow for an action movie and the concept of Paul Walker earning his way back in to the government's good graces is tired and predictable. The whole film has the value of a set of neon green JC Whitney pedal covers.

2.) Driven
Year Debuted: 2001
Director: Renny Harlin
Why It's Awful: Driven is maybe the worst film directed by Renny Harlin, the genius behind such films as the second worst Die Hard flick, Wal-Mart $5 DVD bin staple The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (to be fair, Wert really likes this one), and massive flop Cutthroat Island. A mixture of convoluted plot, poor acting, and crappy CG combines for a movie so bad we unfairly blame it for killing off the CART series.

1.) Redline
Year Debuted: 2007
Director: Andy Cheng
Why It's Awful: Literally part of the reason why the subprime market crashed (the film was produced with subprime loans) and the economy is in the crapper; the film Redline is a tour de force of awful. The questionable plotline, the gratuitous destruction of exotics, the Eddie Griffin factor, and the awful acting all combine to create a film that makes The Fast And The Furious seem like Citizen Kane. It's so bad, the car gods took the producer's Enzo.

So what did Bob have to say about the campaigns? Let's let AdAge's Jean Halliday tell you:

Specifically, he told the brand teams last week that Cadillac's generally well-received and popular ads with "Grey's Anatomy" star Kate Walsh from Modernista are too dark and said Chevrolet's campaign from Campbell-Ewald — still in the can and yet to run — is too lifestyle-focused.

But it was Buick that took the most public beating for the uninspired "photo shoot" TV commercial that aired broadly for about a month until last week. In his public webcast, Mr. Lutz singled out that spot, saying, "That Buick commercial tested very well, which is not the same as saying that it's an effective ad." Buick VP Susan Docherty told Ad Age the pretesting landed in the "top quartile" for originality and breakthrough work.

So apparently Cadillac's ads are too dark (we disagree. Kate Walsh makes us want to buy a CTS), Chevy's ads (which haven't run yet) are too lifestyle-y, and Buick's ads (the beach photo shoot) are not the "lyrical gangster" but rather, just stupid. So what will this mean for GM's ads? More than likely, given Lutz's love of the old school, he'll be looking for more "beauty shots" (aka car p0rn) and less screwing around with non-car crap. Also, expect less pre-testing and a bit more of the classic "Mad Men" marketing. We're also expecting Publicis Group's Leo Burnett — responsible for the terrifyingly bad Buick ads — will more than likely continue to be taken to the woodshed until eventually taken behind for a good ol' fashioned Ol' Yeller recreation. Sad ad agency is sad.

And as far as Bob Lutz's little trip to the Caribbean, the man's like 80-something — who am I to argue with him wanting a little vacation time? [AdAge via Detroit News]

Click on the next image to see just how many car/driving puns you can fit into 12 words. We'll give you a hint, it's going to be a "bumpy road."

20.) Harper's Magazine
Headline: "Carjacked: After Detroit, the Wreck of an American Dream" - Harper's
Date: August, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: With not one, but two auto puns you'd expect this to show up higher than 20th on our list. However, we had to subtract some serious points for the strange metaphor mix — "carjacking" usually leads to a strip shop, not a "wreck." So, if they'd gone with "Carjacked: After Detroit, the Stripping of an American Dream," Harper's might have made it higher up the hack list.

19.) Detroit Free Press
Headline "Obama Turns Up The Heat" - Detroit Free Press
Date: March, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: As far as cliches go, "turning up the heat" is exceptionally unoriginal. It also contradicts the kicker right below it. He's turning up the heat... but not that far!

Photo Credit: All About George @ Flickr

18.) Toronto Star
Headline "Government Motors" - Toronto Star
Date: June, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: It's rare that ongoing Internet forum complaints make it into a headline, but credit the Toronto Star for starting the trend! Next: Stephen Harper Can Has Cheezburgers?

Photo Credit: Sweetone @ Flickr

17.) Wall Street Journal
Headline:"Detroit Bailout Hits A Bumpy Road" - Wall Street Journal
Date: December, 2008
Why It's Hackneyed: We're tired of the whole "bumpy road" thing. We get it, they make cars. They're on a road. It's going to be bumpy ahead. Hopefully, this is the last one of these we'll see.

Photo Credit: abn1 @ Flickr

16.) Wall Street Journal
Headline: "GM's Lutz Makes Another U-Turn" - Wall Street Journal
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Credit the Wall Street Journal for being on the forefront of road-related puns. The concept here is that Lutz is changing his mind, but the metaphor actually misleads the reader. He didn't make a U-Turn, he was forced to bow to higher ups and expectations. So it's more like Lutz chauffeuring GM CEO Fritz Henderson and having Fritz pull the e-brake on him. But we guess that doesn't translate well into a quick headline.

15.) ABC News
Headline: "GM's 'Garage Sale'" - ABC News
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Hah, they're selling things from their lawn and they're broke! You know, just like the rest of America!

14.) The New York Times
Headline: "GM's Long, Hard, Bumpy Road to the Chevrolet" - The New York Times
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: The NYT has now outdone the WSJ in terms of bumpy road metaphors. Not only is it "bumpy" but it's going to be "long" and "hard." Our only question is this: where are headline writers driving? The road is hard, yet somehow bumpy. We think you're driving in someone's rock garden.

13.) Santa Monica Mirror
Headline: "Money Matters Make Moody Moguls Mope" - Santa Monica Mirror
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Alliteration Always Appears Awful

12.) Reuters/The Big Money
Headline: "Automaker Bankruptcies, Turbocharged" - Reuters/The Big Money
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Not since Gillette called the Mach 3 razor with extra protection strips "turbo" has the term been so casually, and incorrectly flung about.

11.) New York Daily News
Headline: "Major U.S. Automakers like Ford, Chrysler hit brake on sales skid" - New York Daily News
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: When reaching for the metaphor they've created a "negative" headline for what is a positive event. Sales turned around. This is good. Also, if you're skidding you probably already were braking, or you're skidding way. In any event, you don't want to hit the brakes, you want to turn into it or lay off the brakes.

10.) Detroit Free Press
Headline: "What GM, Chrysler need to speed ahead" - Detroit Free Press
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: If this were only pun-y, we'd maybe let it go. But the addition of assonance (the need to speed) is troubling. Enough!

9.) Financial Times
Headline: "Pension pothole on GM's Road To Recovery" - Financial Times
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: It looks like the "long" "hard" and "bumpy" road to recovery now has a pothole. It didn't before? How did it get so bumpy? This is what happens when you have writers living in cities with awful, unkempt roads.

8.) Dallas Morning News
Headline"Bumpy road lies ahead for General Motors" - Dallas Morning News
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: It's July already, we get it. The road is bumpy.

7.) Times-Mail
Headline: "GM Starting Long Road To Its Future" - Times-Mail
Date: June, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: We take it back, the Dallas Morning News was wrong. It's not bumpy, it's long. And somehow, the road was never started. Perhaps it's because this is the scariest, most daunting road ever.

6.) The Toronto Star
Headline: "GM gets back in the driver's seat" - The Toronto Star
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: But Toronto Star, a month ago you said it was Government Motors. Now GM is back in charge? Oh well, props to you for referencing your old headline.

5.) Reuters/The Big Money
Headline: "Report Puts Brakes on Slippery Auto Sales" - Reuters/The Big Money
Date: June, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Do we have to go over this again? If you're on a slippery road, don't hit the brakes, slow down. Also, how is the report actually changing the auto sales? The report isn't changing the auto sales, it isn't braking to stop them, it's merely shedding light on the condition of the U.S. auto market.

4.) Romona Sentinel
Headline: "Gee! How The Mighty Have Fallen" Romona Sentinel
Date: July, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: You just used "Gee" in a headline to make "Gee Mighty" sound like GM. Forgetting GM is still one of the largest automakers in the world, using the word "Gee" and an exclamation point in a headline is scary. At least there isn't a road metaphor in there

3.) Reuters/The Big Money
Headline: "Holy Cr*p! Chrysler Sees Fleet Sales Crater in June" - Reuters/The Big Money
Date: You really can't say crap? You know what's Cr*p? Crap Chrysler Crater. Just saying anything "craters" at this point. Top it off with bad punctuation and this is the headline equivalent of the state of the auto industry — which is to say it's a bumpy, long, hard, potholled, oil-covered road.
Why It's Hackneyed:

2.) AFP
Headline: "Cash for clunkers' may jumpstart US auto sales" - AFP
Date: June 2009
Why It's Hackneyed: Being wrong doesn't necessarily imply hackneyed. A car metaphor is closer. After driving on awful roads and hitting the brakes in skids, these poor auto companies/auto market/atuo execs are in such bad condition it's clear they need a jumpstart.

1.) Jalopnik
Headline: "Daily Show Takes On Carpocalypse, Uses Silly Made-Up Word" - Jalopnik
Date: March, 2009
Why It's Hackneyed Oh, we get it, you're making fun of yourselves. Seriously? You think you're on the same level as The Daily Show and by showing how they made up a different word, somehow it shows they copied you. You're trying to rep your news credentials against a fake news show based on them maybe copying a word you made up and have been trying to push so hard into the lexicon you'd need a flashlight and a tube of KY to find it up Webster's ass? Weak.
Why It's Hackneyed: