Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
-
posts about #gau8avenger more → Parking With a Gatling Gun
Detroit, 12:47 PM
Wed Nov 25
25 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email
Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla
Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli
Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi
| posts about #gau8avenger more → |
Parking With a Gatling Gun |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
04/11/09
I HOPE YOU DON"T FUCK LIKE YOU PARK
They would have been even better if printed in reverse, then I could have placed them in front of the driver's seat.
04/10/09
It was a warning; the next time he saw it parked in THREE spaces, almost sideways, he emptied his coffee cup on the hood.
Because really, he could have done much worse. And it worked.
04/10/09
04/10/09
The Lincoln symbol was the best, but my Cutlass' rocket and Benz emblems were still good fuel for fantasy.
04/10/09
04/10/09
I can't think of a more intimidating weapon than an A10 looping back towards you. "Oh, did you think I didn't see you?"
04/10/09
04/10/09
[www.youparklikeanasshole.com]
04/10/09
04/10/09
How fitting that Deke Slayton was a fighter pilot.
There are only 3 careers for a guy named Deke: fighter pilot, stunt man or bull rider. No Deke has ever been fucked with at a bar. No Deke has ever been outscored by his buddies. No Deke has ever died of old age. Any Deke is a raconteur, a swashbuckler, a cocksman. He holds his liquor better than you, takes a punch better than you, and he's already forgotten more tales of derring-do than you'll ever actually have.
Is it too late to rename my 7 year old son Deke?
04/10/09
Don't forget that Deke is a GREAT porn name... and Slayton would've worked well as a surname in that context as well...
04/10/09
04/10/09
Sausage Slayton
Throbber Slayton
Dirk Slayton
Horsemeat Slayton
04/10/09
I was thinking along the lines of a Cheech & Chong accent....
"He's a real Deke, mahn..."
04/10/09
04/10/09
I wouldn't use the cannon. It will leave a large number of ragged fragments all over the place. Other cars might get scratched by the ricochets, the debris might make it awkward to drive into the space and park on a level surface, and you might puncture a tire.
This is yet another situation where the handy dandy laser destructo ray really comes in handy.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
I think Geely or Brilliance cars have the same marketing poster.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
"
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
[jalopnik.com]
04/10/09
So, who's the hunky guy with the gold chain and medallion? Friend? Family member? Firebird driver?
04/10/09
I think John Glenn might take issue with this statement.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
It's always fun to see a grown man in a suit trying to climb over the center console of their shiny new Lexus. Hey, that's what you get for being a fucking asshole when parking.
My other favorite is to push all the empty carts into the unusable space. Sometimes, the cart guys follow along, even and leave 'em there, even.
04/10/09
The Volvo would also work for causing "asshole damage" - if they're over the line and you have room, and they're still there when you leave... and there are no witnesses... I'm not supporting it, at least on the record.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
There are plenty of people who hate XKCD mostly on the merit of it's not funny.
He used to be pretty funny some of the time, but it's gotten worse. More often elicits unghs than hehs.
04/10/09
04/10/09
I guess some people get angry when they're confused by things that go over their heads.
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09
04/10/09