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Detroit, 8:04 PM
Wed Nov 11
34 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #gastheft more →

    Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves

    The Six Best Ways To Steal Gas... And One Really Bad Way

    Denver Crooks Throw Down Gas-Theft Gauntlet

    Six Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    Huh. My car actually was sold with a diesel engine (albeit not a particularly great one). So now to find the badging from one...
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    In my 1989 Ford Tempo, with its standard power locking gas filler door, I need not worry about theft-of-gas when the SUV owners of the world begin their hunt now that gas is steadily creeping upwards. $2.87 today.
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of Gearhead_42 - Nibbles ate my garage! Gearhead_42 - Nibbles ate my garage!
    05/28/09

    @FordTempoFanatic Needs Struts.: In what I see as positive news, regular gas and diesel are the same price here in PA... could we finally see some interest in diesel cars?
     Reply
    Gearhead_42 - Nibbles ate my garage! was starred Gearhead_42 - Nibbles ate my garage! was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    05/28/09

    @Gearhead_42: That 1985 Ford Tempo GL Diesel Coupe will be mine!
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    In our charming city it is legal to sleep in your car on a public street (not on private property).

    Of course, sleeping in your car is not the traditional mark of a high roller; if you can't afford a cheap-ass motel or campground, you're not likely to swimming in petrol. Indeed, the would-be thief might even assume you were out of gas and therefore stranded.

    So this would work fine.


    Except for the serial killers and zombies who prowl the night and would love nothing better than to happen upon a snack of Fresh Meat Under Glass.

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    Also a useful deterrent:


    1) Catch a thief in the act
    2) Make a dent in the fender with his face
    3) Color in the features with Sharpies. Use red if necessary to make blood spatter less subtle.
    4) Relax. Your vehicle's fuel is now safe.

     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of will will
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    "In addition to protecting your gas tank, you'll be protecting yourself from IEDs. Deters tailgaters."


    you can't fool me. nothing will deter tailgaters

     Reply
    will was starred will was unstarred
    Image of Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
    05/28/09

    @will: This would deter me (and I am a chronic tailgater, I admit it. IF ALL THE BUICK-DRIVING BLUEHAIRS WUOLD GET OUT OFF MY WAY, I MITE NOT BE SO INVOLENT!1!):


     Reply
    Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was starred Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was unstarred
    Image of Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    8. Acquire anti-predator donkey from Michigan Public Works*.
    Feed donkey PCP while taunting it with siphon-hose.
    Tether to vehicle.
    Profit(?)


    * It was Michigan, right? I'm not gonna look it up.

     Reply
    Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was starred Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable was unstarred
    Image of Flathead Smith Flathead Smith
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    I prefer the hidden gas tank method. You fill your old real dummy tank with rattle snakes.
     Reply
    Flathead Smith was starred Flathead Smith was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    05/28/09

    @Flathead Smith: I'm sure the decomposing liquefied remains of the snakes will siphon out very nicely.
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    I drive a car powered by deer blood. Any ways to keep that from thieves?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    Wiping the gas cap with poo also works as a deterrent, and encourages you to eak the most miles out of a tank as possible as you won't want to touch it either.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of SuzanneD SuzanneD
    05/28/09

    @Graverobber: If you live in New Jersey, all of that is taking care of for you, compliments of the unwashed, government-regulated full-service station.
     Reply
    SuzanneD was starred SuzanneD was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    05/28/09

    @SuzanneD: I think I am banned from New Jersey. Or maybe it's New Mexico. It's New - something. So that may not be available to me.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of Skunky Skunky
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    How does armour plating negatively impact the resale value? Show me a person who wouldn't want to buy an armour plated Miata, and I'll show you a person with no taste in fun.
     Reply
    Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred
    Image of Armand Armand
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    I like number 5, but I hope I don't lose the cache that the original stickers on my car brought. Caches are for storing things, after all, and if protecting my car from fuel thieves means I lose my cache of fuel, then I'd really only be taking one step forward and two steps back.
     Reply
    Armand was starred Armand was unstarred
    Image of Armand Armand
    05/28/09

    @Armand: Oh, come on, isn't anybody else going to be a pedantic little prick about the cache/cachet thing? What happened to the Jalopnik I knew, like, a few days ago?
     Reply
    Armand was starred Armand was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    I'll hire the guy in the middle above.


    I actually used #5 for a while. I had an 84 Chevy K-10 that came with a diesel but had the engine swapped for a gas 350. In the craziness last summer I think someone might have swiped a few gallons out of the tank. I can only hope that they were trying for diesel.

     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of weatherman weatherman
    05/28/09

    @P161911 now with M POWER!: the only problem with that method is that you can never let anyone else drive your car. Well, that and that it relies on a thief actually being smart enough to steal the right kind of fuel, and thieves are not known for being terribly smart.
     Reply
    weatherman was starred weatherman was unstarred
    Image of Jo Schmo Jo Schmo
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    I just moved the gas filler spout from the outside to the inside underneath my ashtray.
     Reply
    Jo Schmo was starred Jo Schmo was unstarred
    Image of robot-shmobot robot-shmobot
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    Route the tank filler to another location in the car, like in the trunk. That way you can leave the gas door unlocked and when they open it, have those spring loaded snakes pop out at them. Or fireworks. Or dead rodents. Or a spring loaded trident. I could go on. How about a recording of Rosie O'Donell? A picture of Richard Simmons' bare ass? Oo! Oo! Oo! If you live in the car, route the tank filler to your septic tank. Yeah, that'll teach them.
     Reply
    robot-shmobot was starred robot-shmobot was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    05/28/09

    @robot-shmobot: golf clap for the spring loaded snake idea. Brilliant.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of worduphomekey worduphomekey
    05/28/09

    In reply to Seven Ways To Protect Your Tank From Gas Thieves
    Hows about a fistful o' boomstick?
     Reply
    worduphomekey was starred worduphomekey was unstarred
    Image of IN THE FACE! IN THE FACE!
    05/28/09

    @worduphomekey: That's my plan; always glad to meet another S-Mart shopper!


    Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart!

     Reply
    IN THE FACE! was starred IN THE FACE! was unstarred
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