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Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
Fire At Kansas City Magellan Oil Refinery Gets Out Of Hand, Threatens To Shoot Gas Higher Than Price Of Strip Steak

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bmoreDLJ
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
Was this woman Megan Fox?
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Flathead Smith
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
One time I was welding on about an 8000 gal tank that had held very light aromatic fuels. It had a fiberglass/rubber liner that was in very poor condition and had absorbed many of the light components, and so the tank really could not be made safe to weld by simple cleaning. So I got a 50 gallon tank of liquid nitrogen to purge the tank. The day before I had added, a 6 inch 180 degree turn down on top of the tank which pointed to the ground and I then covered the flange with cardboard (mistake). I was repairing the tank on the other side of the turndown and adding some new fittings by welding them to the tank. What I did not realize while welding is that my cardboard had fallen off with the constant expansion of air within the tank because of heating from welding (my guess) along with the nitrogen purge. So anyway I was standing on a ten foot ladder and all of the sudden I heard something like a loud breath and then a jet engine sound. I stopped looked up for the jet flying overhead, didn’t see it so went back to work. About 30 seconds later I heard an extremely load breath, and then a huge roar, I immediately looked, and one of my coworkers had a look of terror. I immediately jumped down. That 180 degree turndown looked like a rocket engine and was incredible loud. It then stopped and cycled like this for about two minutes about four times. I figured later that the breath was air going in to the vessel on cool down and of course the engine sound was the inside of the tank burning after a fresh charge of oxygen. The cycling was caused by a fire within the tank that had somehow stayed lit maybe by red-hot slag.

The next time I used a real flange instead of cardboard.
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MikeHerbst
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
I have an old Haynes Workshop Manual for a Volvo P1800 that is written in English, as opposed to American, which makes for some interesting differences. I understand how to air up the tyres, use a spanner, etc., but under the section for "Fuel System", there is one procedure which advises to "inspect the fuel tank for rust using a torch".

It took me a while to remember that torch==flashlight. Whew, that was close.
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.357
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
In case you guys were wondering, throwing whiskey on it to put it out doesn't work. Not that I would know....
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domino
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
where are the religious nuts who sew womens' vaginas shut when you need them?
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scroggzilla raids again
08/31/09

@domino: protesting health care reform?
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that ain't the way to have fun, son
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
Um.

Well.

Let's just hope she didn't reproduce.

Darwinism isn't quite dead. It's waiting to jump out of the bushes and getcha!
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CopterBob
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
Darwin's theory, at least as far as humans in industrialized nations, has been circumvented by modern medicine. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
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Tomsk welcomes the Jezebanned home promoted this comment CopterBob was starred CopterBob was unstarred

Six Flags Over Tomsk
08/31/09

@CopterBob: I'm not exactly thrilled by it.
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engineerd
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
The more I read Jalopnik, the less I believe Darwin's survival of the fittest. Idiots street race and wind up killing innocent bystanders. Dumbasses take cars on 100+ mph test drives and kill uninvolved parties. How many more stories like this do we have to hear before we realize that Darwin was wrong. It's not "survival of the fittest". It's "survival of the dumbest so keep away from them or you might get dead".

I lament the dumbing down of humanity due to the offing of smart people who happen to be around the unfit survivors.
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Scandinavian Flick
08/31/09

@engineerd: I do feel that we are witnessing the dawn of a real life Idiocracy... The idea behind that movie is what I kinda thought well before that movie was made. The dumb reproduce more and thus produce more stupid offspring. A good number of them do end up offing themselves, but all too often, not in great enough numbers, or not before planting the seed...

Non sequiteur: I was very disappointed by that movie. It had such potential unfulfilled.
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Amalgamated Stainless Headers, est.1978
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
Sometimes I refuse to believe that anyone is actually that stupid, but instead try to figure out a more likely scenario. Like she was trying to smoke some crack and didn't realize the gas can had been previously used for gasoline.
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mr_dude
08/31/09

@Ash78: Maybe the gasoline fumes impaired her.
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TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt

That's hawt
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Dr.Danger: ::You are awesome: promoted this comment

Dr. H. F. Danger
08/31/09

@TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah: OMG DON'T TALK ABOUT PARIS

heh, wonky eye...lulz
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Scandinavian Flick
08/31/09

@TexanIdiot25- needs moar horse powah: Great, now this is going to become a Jezebel cross post.

Put on your ban boots, everyone!
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SeanKHotay
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
I alwys liked the bald look on a woman...
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Scandinavian Flick
08/31/09

In reply to Woman Checks Gas Can With Lighter, Gets Burnt
A survivor cannot be a Darwin nominee. It is "survival of the fittest". Not "less injuries to the fittest".

That said; clearly our education system has failed us... Not to mention the DMV, when somehow, geniuses like this are allowed driver's licenses.
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MushyHeirloom
08/31/09

@Scandinavian Flick: Not entirely true - if the burns somehow made it impossible for this woman to reproduce (I couldn't imagine how) she's still eligible.
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pauljones
08/31/09

@Scandinavian Flick: That's why she was only nominated for the award, and not actually given the award posthumously.
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Scandinavian Flick
08/31/09

Valid points. I suppose she will live to fully Darwin herself another day...
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Edited by Scandinavian Flick at 08/31/09 12:56 PM Scandinavian Flick was starred

Ben Wojdyla
08/31/09

@Scandinavian Flick: I was relying on the elimination from procreation clause, but since it's ambiguous as to the extent of her injuries, i fell back to the honorable mention category, which allows for acts of stupidity which should have ended in reproductive impossibility, but failed.
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mr_dude
08/31/09

@FP: Your Volvo is awesome! Anyway: What about if it makes it less likely that she'll reproduce. That's still darwin in action.

I ain't shallow, but a girl with no eyebrows is a bit of a turnoff.
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Scandinavian Flick
08/31/09

@mr_dude: What if she ended up like Two Face? You could just hit it sideways.

Half a brown bag?

Lights off on one side of the room?
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