We'll just kill the middle man here. Ford fan-boys, give us your stories — forget about giving it to Ford. They'll just censor it anyway.

WOW... IS THE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE THIS FORD EXPLORER CONVERTED INTO A PIRATE SHIP. THIS SHIP WAS BUILT AS A HALLOWEEN PROP, AND IN COMBINATION WITH OUR PIRATE COSTUMES, HELPED US EARN A LOT OF MONEY THIS HALLOWEEN. THIS SHIP TOOK SEVERAL "BEST COSTUME" PRIZES EARING US THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. THIS SHIP IS BUILT OVER A FORD EXPLORER THAT STILL RUNS AND DRIVES. THE WHEELS HAVE CLEARANCE, IT CAN BE STEERED EASILY. THIS IS A VERY DETAILED RECREATION OF AN AUTHENTIC PIRATE SHIP. PROFESSIONALLY PAINTED AND AIRBRUSHED. DOOR IN REAR FOR EASY ACCESS. PERFECT FOR NEXT HALLOWEEN, UPCOMING THANKSGIVING DAY, AS A PROP, BUCKANEERS VEHICLE, OR MAYBE IN PARADES. A LOT OF TIME WAS TAKEN TO BUILD THIS SHIP, AND WE ARE OFFERING IT AT NO RESERVE. SHIP COMES WITH CLEAN TITLE AND CAN BE REGISTERED. A CUSTOM SAIL CAN BE MADE FOR AN ADDITIONAL $100. THIS IS A VERY RARE OPPORTUNITY TO PURCHASE A WELL BUILT PIRATE SHIP/PROP ETC FOR A VERY LOW INVESTMENT. THANK YOU FOR BIDDING!!

A very detailed recreation of an authentic pirate ship. Oh winds of fate, why did this ad not reach us in time to bid? [eBay Listing via Motive Forums]

That's right, the engine sits crossways in the engine bay and, though this particular mule was all-wheel-drive, it opens up the opportunity for a front-drive Explorer in the future — we know, sacrilege. The mule's Frankensteined body work is sliced and stitched together all over the place too, with a slice on the fender just behind the peak of the wheel well, a line that runs all the way down the center of the roof and a newly formed rear bumper. You can also see how they've made the A-pillar extra wide with a considerable rake. Inside, the family truckster looks the part of any Ford Freestyle, but gets a Ford Mustang steering wheel for some reason. You'd never know it was wider than stock. If this does indeed turn out to be the Explorer we think it is, things will certainly be different than what we're accustomed to on the big, tough and boxy version we have today.

A new style of test mule has begun running around Ford's development centers, perhaps offering the first signs that testing has begun on Ford's car-based Explorer. The rough test mules (we've now seen several running the streets of Dearborn) are a mix of Ford Taurus X and Ford Flex, but there are some telling alterations, raising the prototype's ride-height, along with a higher cowl, and rigged A-pillars to accommodate what appears to be a more steeply-raked windshield. There are also clear signs around the rear hatch and roof rails that the platform has been widened. While the front clip is pure Ford Flex, the lowest slat of the Flex's three-bar grille has been removed, perhaps to better approximate airflow of the next Explorer's grille.

Ford also used the Taurus X body on mules for the Ford Flex and Lincoln MKT, but those mules had additional length added to their wheelbases. This latest mule features no such additions, suggesting that this new model will be shorter than the Flex for a more fuel-friendly footprint.

Ford confirmed earlier this year that the Explorer would be ditching its body-on-frame SUV construction in favor of a new unibody, car-based approach for greater fuel-efficiency. The Explorer's new direction was previewed by Ford's Explorer America concept at the 2008 North American International Auto Show, and the general proportions of these latest mules seem to adequately approximate that concept.

The new unibody Explorer crossover is expected to reach the market in 2010.

The American SUVs on the market in 1989 were quite a bit different than the generation that would take over in just two years' time. We tend to focus on their crudeness and lack of creature comforts, but more importantly, nearly all "mid-size" SUVs before the 1990s period were two-door models. The exception was the Jeep Cherokee XJ, which was developed with extra doors specifically because Chevy hadn't added them to their Blazer. The other players were either Japanese, like the Isuzu Trooper or, like the Suburban, based on a larger truck platform.

The Jeep Z5 concept will look very familiar to you.

Fortunately for Chrysler, Jeep had developed a more-refined version of the four-door SUV that we know as the Jeep Grand Cherokee all the way back in 1985, when the division was owned by AMC. Unfortunately for Chrysler, when they purchased AMC and Jeep, they put the development of the Grand Cherokee project on hold in favor of new minivans. Still, Jeep had the answer, and in 1989 they released the Jeep Z5 Concept 1, which was basically the final design for the Grand Cherokee that they would bring to market in 1992.

Contrast that with the General. For 1989, GM had two futuristic concept trucks that we assume they hoped would stir enough interest to guide them in their product-making decisions. One was the youth-oriented Pontiac Stinger compact SUV. Though it wasn't particularly powerful — its engine was only good for 170 HP — it had a high level of utility, including features such as a removable picnic table and portable radio. These types of features weren't put to use, as Pontiac wasn't going to build an SUV in the near future. Ironically, many of these ideas found a home — the ill-fated and poorly designed Pontiac Aztec.

The Stinger is certainly better looking than the Aztec, even if it isn't as practical.

The other concept truck was the Chevy XT-2 concept, which stood for the Chevy Experimental Truck #2. This futuristic-looking, performance-oriented vehicle featured a Corvette suspension, a front-engine/RWD layout built on a platform similar to the F-body Camaro, and a 4.5-liter V6 that was good for 360 horsepower and 315 lb-ft of torque. The V6 engine itself, which featured tuned port injection, was an important technological leap forward for GM. The TPI system not only provided more power than a carbureted engine, it was also relatively fuel-efficient. For an excellent discussion of the importance of this engine see this discussion of the XT-2 at PickupTrucks.com.

The XT-2 was designed as a pace car to be used in what was then the CART PPG Indy Car World Series, which is now a weird mix of words to see together. The truck itself went through two designs before engineers landed on the final one. The first version was fairly wild and had the engine mounted under the bed. The second version was a based on a passenger-car platform with a FWD/AWD layout and a smaller V6 engine, a concept not unlike the crossovers that would follow in the mid-2000s. So how did they end up with the final version? According to a press release provided by GM, "Given the consumer preference to small, sporty trucks, the evolution of the Chevrolet PPG XT-2 Pace Truck was natural."

So, in 1989, you had the Pontiac Stinger and the Chevy XT-2 from GM as the radically futuristic vehicles. The designers and planners clearly understood that, after the previous gas crisis, crossovers and sportier car-based trucks were the way forward. But that wasn't what happened.

In 1990, GM came out with four-door versions of their S10-based SUV's and Ford came out with the Ford Explorer. The design wasn't exactly revolutionary — the Explorer and others were the same basic body-on-frame trucks as before with an extra set of doors. The Explorer caught the imagination and dollars of Suburban families by offering car-like amenities such as leather interiors and CD players. Jeep suddenly had to rush their dusty Grand Cherokee to market in 1992 to catch up with the market.

Gas prices remained low, especially relative to the sudden increase in the purchasing power of the average American. In 1991 there were less than a million SUVs sold in the United States. By 1998, Americans were buying nearly three million a year. In 1998, the three best-selling trucks (F-Series, Silverado and Explorer) outsold the Toyota Camry, which was the best-selling car. Unfortunately, in this orgy of truck sales, nothing quite like the XT-2 was ever produced. Why make a car-based SUV or truck when you're suddenly making money hand-over-fist by adding a CD player and an extra set of doors to a body-on-frame platform you've already developed?

Fast-forward almost twenty years, to March 2008. The Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla and Toyota Camry bested the Ford F-150 in monthly sales, and you have your answer. Not long after, GM postponed development of their GMT-900 full-sized truck platform. It then leaked out that GM was considering a more Honda Ridgeline-esque pickup — not unlike the second version of the XT-2 concept that was never produced.

Then the news we were all waiting for: GM announced the Pontiac G8 Sport Truck in 2008. The Pontiac G8 ST will be built on the Zeta platform that underpins the 2010 Chevy Camaro, giving it essentially the same setup as the Chevy XT-2.

The General could have created car-based CUVs and sporty trucks; obviously, they thought the idea had some merit in 1989. But development and focus instead shifted to the cheaper and easier body-on-frame alternative with two extra doors. Almost 20 years later, with another energy crisis underway, it's fascinating to see how two versions of the same forgotten concepts from the late 1980s are now looking like the new way forward for an automaker desperately trying to grapple with age-old problems.

[Photos and press releases courtesy of General Motors. Special thanks to GM for providing the information, Mike Levine of PickupTrucks.com for tracking much of it down and to SmalleyXb122 for starting this whole search with his comment in the Five Ugliest Concept Trucks post.]

The Pontiac G8 ST proves Peter's maxim about originality.

Most people aren't willing to actually change or give up anything; they just want the products to adapt for them. Hence, everybody's new favorite market segment, the crossover SUV. It seems that many midsize SUV buyers can't give up the feeling of an unnecessarily bloated vehicle with minor off-road capabilities. So, they're looking to switch from their old Explorers to an Edge or the new Flex. That may not be news, but it's still sad to many of us who hoped for the rise of the hot 5-door hatch.
[DetroitNews]

But there are some cars that are perhaps worse, though less known. You wouldn't want to get rear-ended in a certain generation of Ford Police Interceptor, and you wouldn't want to be the passenger in a beaten-up Hertz Mustang in the hands of the inexperienced. What car do you consider to be the quickest path to cashing in your life insurance?

Models with improved reliability

BMW 7 Series

BMW X3

Cadillac STS (V6)

Chrysler 300 (V8)

Dodge Charger

Ford Explorer (V6)

Ford F-150

Ford Mustang

Jaguar S-Type

Jeep Commander

Kia Sportage

Mazda RX-8

Porsche 911

Saab 9-3

VW Jetta (5-cylinder)

Volvo S40 (non-turbo)

Models with declining reliability

BMW 6 Series

Chevrolet Suburban

Chevrolet Tahoe

Chrysler 300 (V6)

Dodge Ram 1500

GMC Yukon

GMC Yukon XL

Hyundai Entourage

Kia Amanti

Kia Sedona

Lexus GS (V6, AWD)

Pontiac G6

Toyota Camry (V6)

Toyota Tundra (V8, 4WD)

VW Passat (V6)

[via Freep]