Unique is an understatement here. This is why we love the return of traditional hot rods to the scene: you never know what you're going to get. And hey, who said hot rods aren't practical. We bet that thing has a huge trunk up front. [Hemmings]

According to the seller, this car was featured in the obviously well known motion picture "13 million," a movie we all remember fondly (never mind that even IMDB has never heard of it). We just can't get over how spectacular this thing is put together. Is it possible for a car to be so bad it crosses the line into greatness? The answer is yes. (Thanks Henry) [eBay listing]

Ah, the Fierrari! Do a search for "Ferrari" in any online classifieds, and you'll find that most of the results are Fiero-based cars. Your Fieroborghini tends to be more crass, less refined, but a good Fierrari is always a joy. You get the attention-grabbing looks of the real deal, but you can get parts for chicken feed at your nearest junkyard. Better still is the Fierrari with V8 engine, because then you get extremely manly handling characteristics that permit you to show off your skid- and spin-recovery skills just driving down to the corner store. The key is to get one with a body kit that isn't too slavish a ripoff of a real prancing-horse machine, and we've found just the thing with this Fiero convertible with kit (go here if the ad disappears), with a clearly-negotiable asking price of 10 grand. We're not sure what the "kit" involves, but maybe it has something to do with the engine. We're hoping it's a V8, but that's just one of many questions you'll have for the seller, because other than the wheel sizes (18s in the rear, 17s in the front) and the paint color, we really don't get much information about this Fierrari's story. But don't worry about its condition, because this car comes from a private collection!

You're a big fan of the Zimmer Golden Spirit, but need something a little easier to park? Just step onto the steal-packed lot of Lowball Lucifer's Quality Pre-Owned Automobiles, my friend, and see how you feel behind the wheel of this 1986 Zimmer Quicksilver. Yes, in addition to the Golden Spirit, Zimmer manufactured 170 Fiero-based Quicksilvers in the mid-1980s, and were they lookers or what? The only problem with this one- well, aside from the trashed interior and body damage, that is- is that it has the low-po V6/slushbox combo. You'll need to do something about that, first thing, and we suggest a nice Cadillac V8 swap, maybe even a Northstar swap if you're feeling ambitious. We don't know where the reserve has been set, but the current high bid is only $1,225 at the time of this writing, so we think you'll be able to get quite the deal on a genuine Zimmer.

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We're going to pull our punches here and choose a V8 that's not only fairly small for a DOHC unit but already set up for a front-wheel-drive application. That means the engine and associated transaxles are already lined up in correct orientation in the recipient cars' chassis. So whip out $1,600 and drop a Buy It Now bomb on this 300-horse late-90s Northstar engine, then head to the junkyard for some transaxle shopping fun.

You won't be the first lunatic ambitious project builder to take on the Northstar Fiero project. Far from it- why, it's been done many times! Here's a guy who makes the whole process look pretty straightforward. You can keep repeating to yourself the mantra "GM engine... GM car... easy swap..." as you head on down to pick up this very reasonably priced '84 Fiero (go here if the ad disappears). Only 400 bucks asking price! You can go ahead and make plans to have your new 300-horsepower Fiero terrorizing your town on the very same weekend, that's how easy it's sure to be... well, actually, you might need to spend some time fixing brakes and stuff, since the car has been sitting for "5 or 6" years (probable translation: 10 or 12 years). So let's say two weekends, tops!

Isn't it cheating to swap in an engine made by the same corporation that made the car? The Northstar might even bolt up to a GM transmission that fits perfectly in the Fiero, and where's the fun there? Not only that, the Fiero came with a V6 from the factory, which means there's room for a somewhat wide engine. That's why you need to spring for an extra hundred bucks and buy this '86 Toyota MR2 (go here if the ad disappears). Dad says it's gotta go, and when Orange County dads say it's gotta go, they mean it! All we know about the car is that it "NEEDS WORK," because the owner, Steve, needs to repeat his phone number four times and runs out of motivation for describing the car itself; hey, it works on radio ads, so why shouldn't it be even more effective in print? You might think that shoehorning a Northstar into an MR2 would be damn near impossible, what with the fact that the little Toyota came with only an inline-four engine and all, but it's been done! With 300 horsepower (or more, since you might as well add supercharging to this already-hopeless challenging project), your MR2 should have the kind of power-to-weight ratio seen only on racetracks (and in car-crash stories that make the national news).

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With Half Price Day coming up at the junkyard, we had to select our wing carefully; after all, $9.00 is quite an investment. We considered going for an MR2 wing, but some quick measuring led to the discovery that the wing off the Pontiac Fiero GT was just the right width for our car.


Into the Civic with the other half-priced loot! The Fiero GT wing is especially nice because it mounts on any flat surface via four easily-drilled holes.


Because we wanted to try to get some test time at a track with a "No Brake Light, No Service" policy prior to the actual race, we picked up some Chrysler minivan brake lights to mount on the underside of the wing.


Look at that safety!


By our calculations, our Fiero wing adds 50 horsepower and infinite coolness.

The Fiero GT came with GM's 2.8 liter V6, which was rated at 140 horsepower. Of course, many other GM engines have been made to fit in the Fiero's engine compartment, from the supercharged 3800 to the Cadillac 4.9 to the good ol' Chevy small-block.


This car had a list price of $12,875, which was more than 4 grand steeper than the Honda CRX Si (which I'm pretty sure was faster and quicker than the Fiero; we're assuming- well, actually, hoping- the mid-engined Fiero handled better than the front-drive Honda, and most would agree the Pontiac was the better-looking of the two). But still, $4,000? Ouch! Sadly, the Fiero didn't get the "good" suspension until the '88 model, by which time the carbuying public's attention span had long since wandered from the little plastic Pontiac.


Still, these cars had style. They were different. So let's have a poll to see what the mob thinks about Fieros on DOTS:

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"Have you always wanted a Ferrari Enzo, but just didn't want to put up the top dollar or found yourself not on the list to buy one? Well friends, who needs the Italian stallion when you can buy yourself a re-bodied 1986 Pontiac Fiero with the same level of reliability as a real Ferrari. Best of all, no one will ever know the difference. At least anyone with absolutely no knowledge of cars. And if they're blind. And if they lack both the sense of touch and hearing. Basically, if you're trying to impress a corpse on the cheap, the Fierenzo is the way to go..."

And lucky for you — you can snag this beautiful work of art for a pittance at only $7500 or best offer. That's right, for less than the price for one Brembo on an actual Enzo Ferrari, you can get a V6-automatic beauty dressed in "Corvette Red" that drives "like a go-cart" But please, "SERIOPUS INQUIRES ONLY."

In addition to the forged Ferraris they report on, we spy with our little eyes a fake Lamborghini Diablo in the mix as well. Suppose they just missed that one, or is the Ferrari angle just sexier? Somehow all of this reminds us that Car und Driver's Mike Austin still has a Fiero left over from LeMons in his garage. Or maybe it belongs to Phil Floraday of Winding Road - can't quite keep that straight. We're thinking those guys have to be involved in this somehow.

This car was parked right across the street from where the '62 Corvair Van lives, but the van must have been off at a painting job that day.


So what do you really pay for when you buy a real Lamborghini? Some might say you get somewhat better quality in your emblems, for starters.


Hold on- is that an automatic transmission? Looks like the shifter just sticks out of a slit sliced into the vinyl with a Stanley knife.


At least it has hugely fat tires, just like the real thing.


Just to further muddy the identification waters, there's this Cadillac emblem on what may or may not be the engine cover. As we know, Cadillac 4.9 engines fit nicely in a Fiero, so maybe that's what we've got here. Let us know what you think we've got here!

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I should have known I'd find a good car on this block, since so many other DOTS cars live on it. You can see the '80 Porsche 911SC in the background here, and the '66 Beetle convertible, '78 Civic, and '73 Plymouth Scamp live on the same block as well.


I can't believe this huge mirrored trim panel was a factory item... oh, wait- it was 1985!


Thinking about the Fiero always makes me feel a bit sad, because it was under development during my formative teenage car-geek years and looked like it was going to be something incredibly cool. The first ones hit the street when I was 17, and the realization that they had been bean-countered to death was a heartbreaking one (had I been old enough to remember the Corvair, I'd have been more cynical about The General and the way he tends to fumble the execution of great concepts). By 1988, when the Fiero actually got the V6 and good suspension it was supposed to have had all along, it was too late to save the car, and nobody cared. But perhaps the Fiero wasn't a failure- maybe I'm just bitter because the whole Fiero fiasco episode came at a time when my expectations were unrealistic. Let's have a poll and see how the readers feel about this incredibly important issue!

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We've seen a few Fiero-based machines here, so you all know that the mid-engine design and plastic body spurred the creation of numerous Fiero-based kits. None reach quite so high, however, as this Fieroborghini, now standing with a top bid of just $4450. This one is a bit longer than your usual Fiero kit car, because the frame has been stretched. Sure hope those welds are good! It's got a Top Gun body kit, with the bonus of some work by a "fiberglass guy" applied to its flanks. Sadly, it still has the original GM six-banger, but small-block swappage is a tried-and-true route to Fiero power, not to mention the possibility of a Cadillac 4.9 upgrade. Supposedly this project comes with all the bits and pieces. Supposedly. But imagine howling down the boulevard in what looks for all the world like a for-real Lambo! In fact, with the right engine it could be just as fast as the real thing (though perhaps the Fiero suspension, brakes, chassis strength, etc. might make it a bit less safe at high speed... just a bit, though).

However, you might prefer your kit car to be a classic, from the era when kit cars were built on the ol' bulletproof Volkswagen pan. If so, feast your eyes on this fine Bradley GT, which is so vintage that the seller doesn't even know its year. Oh, sure, there's no paperwork of any sort, but they're sure to be quite understanding about that down at the DMV (hmmm... did VW even stamp VINs on the pan?). There's no engine, but that just means you won't have to dispose of the old sputtery 1300 when you want to spin the four mounting bolts on a hairy-ass Type 4 in your Bradley. Think of it: 150 eyeball-flattening horses in a flyweight fiberglass machine; even a V8 Fieroborghini might be hard-pressed to beat it in a drag race! Don't worry about the Deadly Oversteer Potential, buddy- a driver with your skills will find a way to keep this beast safe at any speed! The body on this Bradley looks to be more or less intact, though who knows what ravages have been wrought by decades of Arizona sun?

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Sadly, the financial support needed to mass-produce the Guanci evaporated and the production run halted at a mere two cars. The name of Alejandro de Tomaso is dropped here (he was "consulted" on the project), though with what appears to be a bone-stock L82 small-block (with cast-iron exhaust manifolds that seem to be lifted from the '59 Del Rey) it probably can't quite keep up with, say, a Pantera. No matter! This is one of only two Guancis in the universe, or at least the solar system. So what do you think, dear readers? Is the Guanci worth the Buy It Now price of $37,500? [eBay]

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Ah, the ceaselessly amazing world of Fiero-based exotic replicas. Which DNA has been implanted in the Fiero cell this time? Yes, it is indeed that of the Mk1 Ford GT40. V8 Archie's GT4T has V8 power, front and rear clamshell lids and um, uh, no Gurney Hump. Still, for a mere $45k, you can go out and shame Enzo Fiero all over again! We're totally buying one to go with our A.J. Foyt mask. Now we just need to find an ersatz Mulsanne straight in some sprawling Central Valley mixed-use office-industrial complex.

GT4T [V8 Archie's]

Related:
Big Daddy Glickenhaus On The Ford/Ferrari War [Internal]

After a few days of being tortured by depressing kit-car Fieros, now it's time for a modified Fiero that isn't lame. The 4.9 Cadillac V8 swap is becoming a fairly popular one and, while scoring much lower on the Rad-O-Meter than a Northstar swap, we like it for its junkyardy bang-for-buck simplicity. Here's an '88 Fiero (the one with the good suspension) that's been treated to a Caddy 4.9, Muncie 4-speed, and body modifications that retain the car's essential Fierosity while not triggering an intense urge to projectile-vomit. We'd like it a lot better with some form of forced induction, of course. – Murilee Martin

1988 Pontiac Fiero Formula "SHAKER" [FieroAddiction.com]

Related:
So You Want a V8 X-11 Citation? [internal]

Really, we're going to start putting good Fieros (i.e., ones with actual Fiero bodies and plenty of horsepower) up real soon, but the can't-stop-staring morbid fascination with the world of hideous faux-talian-supercar Fiero-based kit cars has us hooked on the horror for another day. Here's the JISOD 8F402, a Fiero conversion that's somewhat Ferrari-ish, in the same way that hanging a Playboy air-freshener from your rearview mirror makes you sort of Hugh Hefner-ish. Better move fast if you want one of these kits, though, because as the dude selling them says: "Only 3 glass bodys left when there gone their GONE." You heard the man! – Murilee Martin

JISOD 8F402 [kitcarman.com]

Related:
Elevate Your Social Status Now! [internal]

Maybe the best thing about this eBay listing (aside from the surprising lack of ALLCAPS) is the fact that the seller never mentions that this car is, in fact, a Fiero (however, the VIN tells the whole story). No, see, that's an "88 GM chassis" underneath that half-installed crypto-Lambo body kit and photographed with such careful ineptitude. But hey, quibbling about the chassis' origins won't stop this Fieroborghini and its pushrod V6 from following through on the seller's promise that it will elevate the winning bidder's social status. It's even got a genuine Diablo gas cap cover! Because chicks dig a man with the right gas cap cover.– Murilee Martin

1988 Replica/Kit Makes [eBay]

Related:
Burning-Hot Fiero Kit Car Could Be Yours: Archie Finale! [internal]

So here's a fairly clean '86 Fiero, with 173,000 miles and some balls-not-to-wall mods. The price? $12,000. Just to put that in persective, feeding the numbers through the Inflation Calculator produces a result of $6644.31 in 1986 dollars, somewhat more than half the $11K a V6 Fiero SE cost new. So either the Fiero is the King of Low Depreciation Rate or maybe there's some confusion about the going rate for Fieros these days. Oh, and it's an automatic. – Murilee Martin

1986 Pontiac Fiero SE - $12000 [craigslist]

Related:
1985 Fiero GT, Now With Burning Hot V6! [internal]

The Fiero was a sales disappointment for GM, but it was a godsend for kit-car makers! Of course, we all know there's nothing like a Fiero-based sports car that looks like a Lambo that got left in the dryer too long (especially when it has a vaguely V12-ish plastic engine cover), but here's yet another variation on the theme: Archie Finale! According to the seller (who's bucking the kit-car eBay listing trend and eschewing the usual ALLCAPS style), "The car is Viper blue—in other words the same color thats on the Dodge Viper." Yes, folks, thats (sic) got to mean the car is as fast as a Viper! This Alabama-based ride has been bid up to $7,109.99 already, but for some reason the seller's very optimistic reserve price hasn't been met. – Murilee Martin

Finale 85 Fiero [eBay]

Related:
King Dork: The Firenzo! Er, Lambo? eBay! [internal]

Of all the forehead-slapping what-might-have-been heartbreakers perpetrated by The General over the years, the Fiero really stands out. Undermined by the bean-counters' insistence on the Iron Duke engine and Chevette-based suspension, the Fiero that was grunted out of the factory in '84 bore little resemblance to the Ferrari-esque vision of its designers. For the '85 model year, however, a (somewhat flammable) 140-horse V6 was available, boosting performance from "sluggish" all the way up to "not so bad." Fly, Fiero, fly! Fry, bean counters, fry! – Murilee Martin

Related:
Wicked Winnipeg Fieros, eh? [internal]

Winnipeg, 1986. Folks sunning themselves at what appears to be a drainage pond at a rock quarry realize they need to make a little excitement part of everything they do. And we all know how to do that: FIERO! – Murilee Martin

Related: Oh Noes: Pontiac Fiero Coming Back? [internal]

Arguably, GM killed the Pontiac Fiero just as it was getting all the kinks worked out — the fires, the Chevette front suspension (and Chevy Citation rear), the Revellesque build quality. By the last year of production, 1988, the plastic wonder was actually a decent driver that barely ever burst into flames. But could it be coming back? The Left Laneers did some rooting around the US patent office yesterday and came up with this bit. It seems GM reregistered the Fiero name earlier this year. LLN speculates it could be used for the on-again-off-again Pontiac Solstice coupe, though we have out doubts. No matter. Something may or may not be in the works, and we'll be paying attention. Oh, and Pontiac's in the process of re-upping "Firebird," just in case you thought that was the more important story.

Trademarks: Pontiac Firebird, Fiero set to return? [Left Lane News]

Related:
The 1988 Pontiac Fiero; A Collectable? [internal]

Jigga what? Fishermen with Pontiac Fierolust (c'mon, they must be out there somewhere) can spend their hard-earned clams (heh) on this 14 ft Boston Whaler hull covered in snowy white Fieroness. The vessel sports bucket seats, Fiero dashboard and steering sheel, sunroof, running lights, foam-filled tires, and 40 hp Johnson outboard, which has no problem pulling the plastic sportster shell. Reserve not met at $3,500. [Thanks to Dave for the tip.]

pontiac fiero mounted on boston whaler with 40 hp motr [eBay]

Related:
More on the Fiero [internal]

Pity the poor Coyote, his brand image marred by one, inept lout with an insatiable hunger for bird flesh. If that weren't enough, he now must share his name with a kit car whose 1986 Pontiac Fiero chassis is its most judiciously applied part. We're not sure if it's a relative of the Cody Coyote from the 1980s TV series "Hardcastle and McCormick" starring Brian Keith and Daniel Hugh-Kelly. But if it is, this dog is probably its snot-nosed little cousin. Reserve met at under $6,000. [Thanks to Eric for the tip.]

Custom Built Coyote 3 on Fiero Chassis [ebay]

Related:
More kit cars [internal]

By 1988, Pontiac had pretty much perfected its mid-engined Fiero. Not that it mattered, since by '88 car buyers were over the plastic-bodied Fiero in a big way, and the company dropped it. Of course, while some would argue the words "perfected" and "Fiero" shouldn't share a galaxy, let alone the same sentence, we agree with one Canadian car collector that the last model year (1988) brought together all the features that finally made the Fiero a decent sports car. Like previous years it had GM's first metal-alloy space frame, which provided stability while keeping weight down, and a decent 2.8-liter V6 (starting in 1985), but it also finally had a decent front suspension (not the Chevette-inspired travesty it had previously), and no recalls. Sure, laugh it up now. But when these puppies are going for five figures at Barrett-Jackson, you'll regret it.

Rise and fall of legendary Pontiac Fiero [The Province (CA)]

Related:
Kit Car Magazine Selling Lambo Diablo Project Car [internal]