fiatbuyschrysler - Jalopnik

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Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge
Fiat Stock Price Drops Over Chrysler Concerns
Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
Fiat To Buy 35% Stake In Chrysler

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Novaload
06/01/09

In reply to Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge
Allow me to recycle these jokes:

What do you get when you cross a Fiat with a Chrysler?

A large car that won't start.

What do you call a Fiat on top of a hill?

A miracle.

And my fave,

What's the difference between a Fiat and a Jehovah's Witness?

You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness.
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413wedge
06/01/09

In reply to Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge
I. FUCKING. AM. the fuckin' U.S. fuckin' government, so fuckin' who the fuckin' fuck is gonna' fuckin' stop me? Some fuckin' old fucks with fuckin' bad backs in fuckin' Belvidere??? Here's fuckin' EIGHTY fuckin' BILLION or so to get fuckin' get rid of all the fuckin' shit and fuckin' fuckers I don't fuckin' like! FUCK it, gotta big fuckin' mandate and fuckin' all fuckin' 58 fuckin' states are fuckin' behind it. The fuckin' Congress fucks fuckin' got fuckin' union and fuckin' Wall Street's fuckin' support and fuckin' thousands of the fuckin' best and brightest fuckin' government fuckin' lawyer fucks and fuckin' judges fuckin' money can fuckin' buy all fuckin' over this fuckin' shit whenever fuckin' say so or fuckin' feel like it! Fuckin' NOBODY can fuckin' TOP that fuckin' fuckers. Fuckin' got the fuckin' PENTAGON and fuckin' IRS too, so fuckin' watch out fuckers! SHIT, so FUCK YES FUCKIN' CAN! Fuckin' Bush, fuckin' polls fuckin' show 69% of fuckin' fuckin' constituents will fuckin' buy a fuckin' Chinese fuckin' Cadillac Cimarron fuckin' hybrid with fuckin' FIAT fuckin' green air fuckin' technology fuckin' anyway, fuckers! Add in some fuckin' free whitewalls, fleet fuckin' lobbyists, fuckin' Oprah KFC coupons, a few fuckin' fundraisin' dinners and a couple of fuckin' lifetime USDOT warranteeees, fuckers will fuckin' buy 'em fuckin' up like fuckin' crack heads on fuckin' CRACK! It fuckin' can't fuckin miss, so fuckin' SHUT the fuckin' fuck up you fuckin' FOX FUCKERS! FUCK that fuckin' 68.3 Trillion fuckin' dollars fucker fuckhead fucks! Look at that fuckin' snatch, gotta fuckin plane to catch, fuckin' goin' to fuckin' CHINA fuckers, adios…
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pauljones
06/01/09

@413wedge: No more Coco Puffs for you.
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BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
06/01/09

In reply to Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge
Were back in town..

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Graverobber
06/01/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ: Leave the Sebring, take the cannoli.
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pauljones
06/01/09

In reply to Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge
This month's issue of Motor Trend indicated that despite Fiat ownership, they would not sell Fiat-badged cars here. My bet is that this pretty much precludes any chance of the 500 being sold here, but it does potentially pave the way for a new Chrysler compact based on the Grande Punto.

It will be interesting to see what Fiat does with Chrysler's large-car lineup, though.
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Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
06/01/09

@pauljones: I thought the whole point was to sell Fiats, either standalone or rebadged as Chryslers. Hmm.
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Ash78, tryptophanatic
06/01/09

@pauljones: In reality, we'll get some sort of small minivan called the Caravan Piccolo, which the media will dub "Multipla Boregasm"

/cue "in the year 2000!" voiceover
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Graverobber
06/01/09

@pauljones: Dude, you read Motor Trend ?
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jaymcminn
06/01/09

@pauljones: The 500 was the poster child for the Fiat product line when Chrysler was hyping the buyout a few months back. I doubt they'll pass on the opportunity to steal a few Fiesta customers. I would imagine it will be the only product brought over with the Fiat badge intact.
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tonyola
06/01/09

@jaymcminn: Why not sell the 500 under the Abarth badge? Less baggage than the Fiat name, at least here in the US.
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pauljones
06/01/09

@Graverobber:

I read any magazine that has a Cadillac CTS-V on the front cover, just like I read any magazine that has Megan Fox on the cover. In fact, I think those two would go quite well together.

@everyone else:

Damned if I know. I just saw it and thought I'd bring it up as it bears some resemblance to the topic at hand.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
06/01/09

@tonyola: Are you related to Johnny Ola?

The Abarth badge is their performance version. I would love to see actual Abarth versions here.
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scroggzilla raids again
06/01/09

@tonyola: DING! That's the correct answer.
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sos10
06/01/09

@pauljones: Alfa Romeo is the brand that they will bring first, and maybe the 500, no other Fiats are planned for the US (according to italian news agencies)
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pauljones
06/01/09

@sos10: Thank you for the verification.

With the advent of the infinitely more desirable MiTo, though, I just don't see the justification for the 500 once Alfa Romeo returns to the US market.
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stoke
06/01/09

@pauljones: If by "infinitely more desirable" you mean "uglier and stupidly named" then you're absolutely right.

500 Abarth SS > MiTo GTA. That's right, I want f*cking SCORPIONS all over my small Italian sporting hatchback!
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pauljones
06/01/09

@stoke has a JDM banana: Stupid name? Yes. Uglier? No.

And thusly I believe we should start a new flame war: 500 vs MiTo.

You know where my loyalties lay. Bring it!
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Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
01/21/09

In reply to Fiat Stock Price Drops Over Chrysler Concerns
I know. It's like having a ninety year old woman with hip displacement helping you get up off the pavement.
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Tanshanomi
01/21/09

In reply to Fiat Stock Price Drops Over Chrysler Concerns
Wow, it's pretty bad when Fiat is a better looking car company than yours is.
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Timtoolman, sporadically speaking
01/21/09

In reply to Fiat Stock Price Drops Over Chrysler Concerns
since I am not a financial wizard, I'd like someone to explain how they can get a 35% stake in the company with no cash outlay, unless they agree to offer up payments into the pension plan, or something. How does this affect Daimler's stake? Apart from the inroads into the American market for Fiat, and the European markets for Chryco, I see little actual value to this "deal".
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engineerd
01/21/09

@timtoolman: According to the WSJ article I read yesterday, Fiat is going to pay to re-tool some Chrysler plants for small cars (Fiat 500, probably). Daimler hasn't said what they are going to do with their stake (the Fiat deal, itself doesn't affect Daimler's stake), however the article did indicate that Daimler was trying to unload some of their share of Chrysler. The Fiat deal does dilute Cerberus' 80% stake, which leads me to believe Cerberus is planning their exit strategy.

Fiat is doing this to get production and distribution facilities in the US. They have been looking, quietly, for a North American partner for a year or two. Since they are actually a reasonably healthy company now they want to get a foothold in the largest auto market in the world. They are smart for doing it now. Buy low, sell high. Cerberus is probably jealous.
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pauljones
01/21/09

@timtoolman:

While Turin-based Fiat will hand over no cash for the holding, the stake indicates the company may have to book losses from Chrysler with no immediate reward

If that isn't payment enough given Chrysler's current situation, then I don't know what is.
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
Fiat CEO to Bob "The Builder": Can you fix it?

Bob "The Builder": No, it's fucked.
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Elhigh
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
If this is what it takes to get the Panda and the new 500, HURRY IT UP ALREADY.

Even if it means strakes in the hood!
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M0L0TOV
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
I can has Chrysler ME412 with Ferrari engine?
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WheatKing
01/21/09

@M0L0TOV: EXACTLY what i was thinking :)
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If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
I want my "Alfa Romeo 159 by Chrysler" and "Fiat 500 by Dodge."

Right now.
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1300ccsoffury
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
Lifetime powertrain warranty on an Alfa Romeo 159 wagon? Glorious!
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Boosted Lego Wagon
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
Good grief. There's the potential here to create a car of such staggering unreliability it'd make an Alfa Spyder look like a '93 Camry.
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SundaySunday
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
Quick, announce the Fiat-Chrysler Photoshop mashup contest, before the Italians change their minds.
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stephdumas
01/20/09

@Feds: I guess some folks will have fun to do some Photoshop mashup to imagine what that Iveco would look if it have a Jeep front end ;-)
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damnelantra™
01/20/09

@stephdumas: was about to... but then i saw this!

JEEP

MUST BUILD

THIS!
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al_beaton
01/20/09

In reply to Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"
2005: Fiat pockets $2bn for NOT hooking up with GM

2007: Fiat launches the 500, platform sharing with Ford Ka

2009: Fiat acquires 35% of Chrysler.

So Fiat and Opel/Saab/Cadillac/Suzuki share engines, Fiat and Peugeot-Citroen share an MPV and engines, Fiat and Ford share the Ka platform, and Fiat builds the Tata Indica.

Amazing there's even room for a Chrysler alliance.
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pauljones
01/20/09

@al_beaton:

International cross-cultural global clusterfuck!

It's a small world, after all...

It's a small world, after all...

It's a small world, after all...

It's a small, small world...
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Chrysler Sale To Fiat Approved By Bankruptcy Judge

Fiat Stock Price Drops Over Chrysler Concerns

Chrysler, Fiat To Create "Global Strategic Alliance"

Fiat To Buy 35% Stake In Chrysler

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