You'll need to start the video above to get the full effect of Teargas' story.


Natasha has arrived.
Comrade Davin and I have returned from their heroic journey to Toronto, Ontario. On the Great Hero Trailer of the Proletariat, we spirited Natasha from her prison in the only moderately socialist Canada.


Her captors were brutal, but we were able to bribe them with American Dollars.


We were detained by the Americans at the US Border. The American Border Guards trembled in fear at the sight of so much wondrous Soviet engineering. The spirit of the Soviet worker was indeed strong.


When the pigs told Comrade Reckow and I that we would need to prove that the Lada met US DOT and DEQ standards, I made it clear that Natasha would do no such thing! After an hour of negotiating, and declaring our duty-free hooch, we were free.


Comrades Rory & Davin will be awarded the ORDER OF VICTORY FOR TRAILERING

(Thanks for the photo James)

You see, we've got a mole inside 24 Hours Of LeMons HQ, Ecurie Ecrappe member TheEastBayKid, and he's leaked the super-secret Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza '08 team list to us.You'll get to see the whole thing pretty soon, once I've got all the links to team sites sorted out, but the real highlight is the fact that not just one but two Fiat X1/9s will be on the track at Thunderhill next month. There's a '76, run by the Famila Italia Advance Team out of Portland, Oregon, and there's the '80 that the Italian Stallions of Woodside, California, will be campaigning. They're sure to show those six MR2 teams a thing or two about real mid-engined race cars, right?

And that's just the beginning of the fun for you fans of Italian racing machinery! In addition to the pair-o-Fiats, the Team California Mille Alfetta will be back in action, along with a second TCM Alfetta stablemate. Not only that, the Pendejo Engineering Alfetta will be returning to Thunderhill as well; you might recall the heartwarming Alfa camaraderie between the two teams last year, when they made one good engine out of two garbooned ones... and then proceeeded to blow up that engine as well! The Alfettas are very quick on the track, quick enough that they'll contend for sure if they can be kept running.

You think the race still lacks sufficient Italian iron? Well, rumor has it that the Ecurie Ecrappe '71 Spider will be on the track, too, making a grand total of six Italian cars in the race!

We can't be 100% sure of this, but it looks as though this Fiat 127 is hanging out somewhere in Greece, if we're reading the signs right. Given the commonality of the Fiat 127, the owner thought to make it stand out with a few tweaks. Taking a page out of America's playbook, the person behind this Fiat recognized the crappy condition of the car means it is a perfect candidate for "donking." Given the original wheels were likely 12 inches, the addition of larger rims necessitated some minor bodywork. But you can barely tell. (Thanks to Paul for the tip) [Source: Radikal.ru]

[eBay Motors]

The news comes via CAR magazine, which reports that the new Dino will stay true to the Bertone-styled 1966 original’s capable, but basic and affordable, sportscar mantra. Think of it as the Italian take on GM’s Vauxhall VX220, which was built from 2000-2005 and is widely considered one of the brand’s best-ever vehicles.

While it's likely that the 2011 Dino will use one of Fiat’s many four-cylinder powerplants, we’d like nothing better than to see a miniscule 2.0-liter V6 shoehorned into the Elise’s too-small engine bay. [CAR]

We don't want to indicate that we're more pruriently-minded than others, but there's some serious car-on-chick-on-masked dude dragon action in these photos. Isn't that called a 'Lucky Puff The Magic Dragon' or something?

[Studiotorino via CarScoop]

Fiorino Qubo, the new ‘free space’ vehicle from Fiat
Fiorino Qubo is the name of the new car marketed by the Fiat dealer network. This original name clearly conveys the model’s attributes: it is reliable and robust, as well as being uniquely practical and versatile. And the original choice of the letter Q evokes the distinctive personality of the car as much as the rounded profile of the exterior shape.

Created as a result of a manufacturing joint venture between Fiat and PSA, the Fiorino Qubo is made at the Tofas factory in Bursa (Turkey) – where the Fiat Doblò is also made - and this month it will be launched in France, followed by Austria, Poland and Hungary in July and August. It will then become available in Italy, Germany and Switzerland, and will arrive in Holland, Ireland and Belgium in October. Next year the launch will conclude in Great Britain and Denmark.

Marketed in Italy with an entry-level price of around EUR 13,000, the new Fiorino Qubo is the outcome of a concept that is both simple and revolutionary. It transcends the MPV concept to embrace the idea of a ‘free space’ vehicle, capable of satisfying various transport needs, due to its distinctive personality and a practicality and versatility that are unique in its category: the Fiorino Qubo is a very practical vehicle for families, but it is also a car for young people, and customers seeking an entertaining drive. It is the ideal companion for leisure and for travelling with friends, being both environmentally friendly and fuel-efficient.

In other words, with this car you can do whatever you like, just as you would expect from a multi-purpose vehicle: as handy as a city car, and as spacious and comfortable as an MPV. Indeed, the Qubo offers, at an affordable price, the same versatility as an MPV but with more compact external dimensions – it is 3.959 metres long, 1.735 metres high and 1.716 metres wide – and its turning circle is less than 10 metres. In other words, the new Fiat Fiorino Qubo is equally at home negotiating narrow town centre streets or weaving in and out of city traffic. What’s more, the Fiorino Qubo can adapt to any surroundings (urban or rural), guaranteeing considerable savings as a result of its good fuel economy (due to the 75 bhp 1.3 multijet engine) and low running costs (30,000 km before the first service).

The Fiat Fiorino Qubo’s original, rational exterior style stands out due to special treatments on the side and rear that give it a sophisticated look. Likewise, the beefy, sturdy front does not detract from the general nonconformist and likeable impression that is the model's trademark. The model's look of a substantial vehicle with its wheels firmly on the ground is offset by clear, fluid lines that give it a dynamic edge.

The new Fiorino Qubo really comes into its own as a unique car in its segment when you take a look inside. The original ‘free space’ concept combines six different seat configurations with a practical, regularly shaped interior. The result is a functional interior, with exceptional flexibility and use of space. For example, with the seats in normal position, the boot offers 330 litres of space (up to the parcel rack) and 650 litres if measured up to the roof. With the rear seats removed, the capacity increases to 2,500 litres.

For maximum driving comfort, the Fiat Fiorino Qubo can also rely on smooth power units coupled with sturdy gearboxes. The lively 75 bhp 1.3 Multijet and the reliable 73 bhp petrol-driven 1.4 version offer outstanding driving satisfaction, optimum performance and low running costs, as well as for their great reliability and respect for the environment. For example, a 1.3 16v Multijet combined with a manual 5-speed gearbox or a robotised 6-speed gearbox guarantees excellent performance and the most efficient fuel consumption in its category: the maximum speed is 155 kilometres per hour, whilst over a combined cycle it returns 4.5L/100 km, which translates to a range of a thousand kilometres with a full tank of 45 litres. A Fiat Fiorino Qubo equipped with this power unit also proves itself to be an environmentally friendly car – some versions boast CO2 levels of less than 120g/km – and if equipped with a particulate filter, the particulate emission levels can be as low as 0.005 g/km. The 73 bhp 1.4 8v also boasts optimum performance, and could certainly be an ideal base for CNG conversions. Developed with particular attention to performance and fuel consumption, the power unit is coupled with a mechanical 5-speed gearbox and is capable of a top speed of 155 km/h despite its thrifty fuel consumption – over a combined cycle it returns 7.0L/100km.

Although the Fiat Fiorino Qubo offers a simple range, everyone can still find the ideal vehicle for their lifestyle and the way they use their car. Also available as a 5-seater, the car comes in two specification levels (Active and Dynamic). Active is more basic and informal whereas Dynamic is more comprehensive with a longer list of equipment. Nine body colours and two types of trim are available. The vehicle also offers impressive features, depending on the market and version. For example, as far as safety is concerned, the vehicle offers ABS with EBD, 3 point seatbelts with pretensioner and load limiting device, hydraulic power steering, and front and side airbags. Customers can personalise their Fiat Fiorino Qubo by choosing freely between the numerous options available: 16” alloy wheels with an stylish design, aluminium longitudinal bars of up-to-date design, air-conditioning, leather steering wheel and gearstick, Blue&Me system, steering wheel controls, door deadlock, and parking sensors.

Lastly, Fiorino Qubo is preparing for an original journey through the online community. From the 1st July, a Europe-wide campaign just for those who love social networking will go live at www.fiorinoqubo.com.

[via Fiat]

While this soft top Fiat 500 is significantly less gay than the Castagna Tender Two, like all modern retros, it’s still extremely limp-wristed. The coup de grace, in the form of a Mini Convertible-rivaling full-convertible 500 is expected to arrive some time next year. If you’re comfortable with your sexuality and you want people to know it, or you’re just a cute young girl, go for it. Just watch out for Audi Q7s headed in your direction. [via Next Autos]

The early Fiat 124 coupes sure are wonderful machines, but they're rarer than honest politicians in North America. The few that came over here became red powder and wistful memories a couple decades back… except for this one in Oregon (go here if the ad disappears), which is priced so low we dasn't reveal it here, for fear of being deafened by screams of disbelief. This one needs some work, we'll be the first to admit, although the seller has decided to spare us the troublesome details in his description. "Good condition to restore" is all we get, and that should be enough, right? Keep in mind that the seller has "several Fiats," so you might be able to score a package deal involving some extra boxes of broken useful parts.

The best car deals may be those in which the seller doesn't even provide the car model in the description; hey, maybe that means he or she has no idea what total jewels they really are! The headline of this listing for a 'fiat sports car (2)' (go here if the ad disappears) doesn't tell us much, but the photo of one car's grille indicates that we seem to be looking at a couple of 1957-60 Fiat 1200 Spiders. Are they complete? Are they rusty? Were they used for AK-47 practice by the Manson Family? Albert, the seller, doesn't say, though he does want us to know that "both have paperwork." Will this be a huge, sanity-destroying project? Of course not! You'll be laughing at those poor Corolla owners as you drive your perfectly restored Spider in a matter of days. Hey, just look at how pretty it will be!

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The Italian carmaker claims the Portofino is purely a study, though they've apparently hinted they'd also make a covered version sometime in the future, which is something one likely wouldn't say if there were no plans to introduce a beach-friendly Fiat.

[FIAT via CarScoop]

You know you're looking at a car deal that should make you run away in terror make a bombshell offer right away when the seller takes the time to pound out a lengthy stream-of-consciousness tirade about the car's problems, then doesn't bother to rotate the photos 90° prior to uploading them. And when you're searching high and low for a nimble mid-engined handlin' machine to disintegrate on totally own the racetrack, you can forget all about the boring MR2 or the way-too-reliable Fiero. Yes, forget 'em! What you need is something Italian, like this 1981 Fiat X1/9 (go here if the ad disappears). Asking price is $600, but the seller has an air of desperation and junkyards only offer $200 for a small car's scrap value, so there's a good chance you'll be able to turn a profit by selling off excess parts… leaving you money to rig up the world's most redneck junkyard-turbocharged Fiat, which should boost engine power from the factory 75 horses up to a block-ventilating track-dominating 150! The engine and transmission allegedly work, and the seller claims there's "plenty of rust but the chasssity of the car is solid!!!" It runs, the chasssity is solid, and the price is right- we can't see a single flaw in this plan!

The X1/9 is a fine LeMons choice, no arguments there, but you can kiss that Index Of Effluency trophy goodbye if some team out-huevos yours by keeping a British car alive for at least half the race, particularly if they manage the feat in a tiny 70s British Leyland sports car. We like the Triumph GT6, the TR7 should come equipped with built-in yellow flags, and you often see Sprites available for dirt cheap… but imagine the glory of getting towed off the track every five laps roaring past the competition in this 1972 MGB-GT (go here if the ad disappears)! You got your Lucas Electrics, your lever-action shocks, your finicky SU carbs, your 50s-vintage pushrod four, and- best of all- that legendary British Leyland build quality, all in one gorgeous Pininfarina package! This one is 600 bucks, but the devoted eBay seller should be able to get back quite a bit of that. You get a "trunk full of parts" and the seller claims the car "has not been started in several years," which might imply that it's capable of starting again. Maybe you'll have enough money left in the budget to put some big swaybars on it, thus avoiding unsightly asphalt marks on the door handles!

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The Ecurie Ecrappe/Autodenta 1971 Alfa Romeo Spider returned to the Concorso Italiano in 2008 sporting red livery, Autodenta hood logo, and 750-series Giulietta front clip. This configuration was historically correct for Altamont 2008, though show judges did point out that while the car was accurate, fully documented, and competition-verified, it still totally sucks.

Also in attendance was the California Mille/Sid Conklin Memorial Alfetta GT, which is significantly less terrible but still awful in its own right. The AMC Pacer of Billetproof owner and Concours d'Ignorance head honcho Alan Galbraith was spotted near the Kruse auction tent, which was an area of the event that would have been totally frickin' boring if it weren't for the sweet Pacer. And the Torino.

Other highlights included a numbers-matching Trabant, and some old-ass planes.

These cars had water-cooled, side-valve, inline-four engines displacing a mighty 569 cubic centimeters. Of course, it was mounted in the front of the car, driving the rear wheels, like a proper car, which left the rear open for Fiat to make a wagon version like this, for hauling whatever you could manage to squeeze in the back. It's somewhat hard to really comprehend just how small the car is from these photos, as the Fiat has all the proportions of a much larger vehicle, but it's safe to say that its dimensions are about half that of a modern mid-size SUV. It makes you wonder how well a car like this might sell if it were on the market today.

1) 1909 Peerless Model 19 Touring Car

2) 1941 Willys Coupe Street Rod

3) 1951 Nash Rambler Custom Landau "Roll-Top" Convertible

4) 1967 Porsche 912 Soft Window Targa

5) 1957 Volkswagen Beetle

6) 1974 Chevrolet Camaro IROC Race Car

7) 1974 De Tomaso Pantera L

8) 1958 GMC Series 101 Pickup

9) 1966 Amphicar 770

10) 1959 Fiat Jolly 600

So there you have it, our picks for the crappiest cars up for sale at this year's 2008 Monterey Auctions. We know some of you will think we're heretics for picking a few of these, but by and large these rides just don't cut the mustard when masterpieces like the 1938 Bugatti 57SC Atalante are on the same block. So what do you think? What's the crappiest car of this years auctions? Feel free to fight it out in the space below.

Post publish commentary: Since some of you seem to have checked your sense of humor at the door and consider everything a serious offense to the senses now, I'll go out of my way to make it clear the term "Crappy" is being used in the jocular sense. Perhaps I didn't lay it on thick enough, but the main beef is with the culture of auctioneering driving the prices up on relatively normal cars. I don't think these are crappy, but the multi-million-dollar classic car gold rush is forcing the prices up and the prestige down on otherwise neat, but normal cars.

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Jalopnik Snap Judgment: With America's newfound thirst for small cars, combined with its memories of the godawful Fiats foisted upon its fair citizens in the 1970s and '80s nearly forgotten, the time may be ripe for a Fiat return. If Chrysler can make a few bucks by utilizing idled plants, and C-J-D dealerships can add a new, albeit low-volume, brand to their showrooms to replace the loss of lease business, this could be a win-win situation. Unless you encounter an Audi Q7 while driving your new Fiat 500 home, anyway. [Automotive News, (Sub. Req.)]

'I thought I recognised the driver but my head was spinning. He was screaming: 'What the f***ing hell were you doing in the road.

'He seemed cross, as if I was in the wrong. I called the police.'

[...]

'He still didn't apologise. He was arrogant. The way I landed was lucky. My leg was aching, and the next day a big bruise came up below my knee.'

(Hat tip to everyone who sent this one in!) [The Daily Mail, Photo: Getty Images]

The little Ford will be made in Poland and will come with either the 63 HP 1.2-liter, 100 HP 1.4-liter gas and 75 HP 1.3-liter Multijet diesel engine. The hope is that a Ford Ka ST will be introduced at some point with a significant power increase and an improved chassis. [Car Tribe via Carscoop]

The figures were published by Clean Green Cars, which also pointed out that "Every manufacturer with average new car emissions significantly above 200 g/km of CO2 saw sales slump from January to June." Clearly, voluntary agreements are working. Why oh why then did the EU have to implement non-voluntary emissions targets for 2012? Press release below the jump.

Fiat tops the CO2 league; Porsche is rock bottom

Figures published exclusively by Clean Green Cars today reveal that Fiat and MINI are only mainstream manufacturers whose average tailpipe CO2 is now under 140 g/km. That figure was the target car makers' set themselves a decade ago in their voluntary agreement. Data for 2008 shows how far they have fallen short.

"Some manufacturers have delivered on their promise, but the vast majority have to raise their game significantly," said Jay Nagley of Clean Green Cars. "Porsche has the most work to do: bottom of the league, with CO2 emissions that actually went up slightly in the first half of 2008.

"What is interesting is that, as fuel prices rocket and the new car market falters, car makers with the highest emissions are being punished by the consumer. They have been complaining about pressure from the EU to meet what they say are 'unrealistic' targets. Now they are having to face much stiffer targets from the people that really matter: consumers."

Every manufacturer with average new car emissions significantly above 200 g/km of CO2 saw sales slump from January to June. Even bigger drops were reported last month by the five with the worst average CO2 output.

Porsche and Jeep sales were down by more than a half, Land Rover and Chrysler fell by nearly 30% while Subaru registrations plummeted 17.8%. As the total market only fell by 6.1%, there is clear evidence that high-CO2 cars are being heavily penalised.

It's not that BMW needs help on the engineering front, but by partnering up, the companies gain economies of scale they'll be able to leverage against their suppliers for a better price. Guess all's fair in love and the battle against rising material costs. [Auto News Europe]

Spotted this "lifeguard truck" yellow little guy a few weeks ago in Costa Mesa, CA, right by my office. I didn't get a chance to grab a pic, but I saw it again yesterday, sans the car cover that thwarted me last time. The owner has a Exige as his daily driver... he definitely doesn't mess around. Any idea how he gets away with a british plate in the OC? Thanks!

VeeArrrSix

Fiat 500

Fiat has been on again, off again on its plans for a return to the US, but we're hoping eventually to see the reborn Fiat 500 on domestic shores — if for no other reason than to give Mini owners something to think about. Sure, it'll need a little more scoot or a totally different torque curve to get us interested, but the car has style and a superb interior, plus it sips the fuel.

Dodge Hornet

With production confirmation yesterday, we'll be waiting with baited breath for the sting of the Chinese-built Dodge Hornet. The little bruiser should come in right about when gas tops $15 a gallon and the cities start to burn. But that won't stop us from being interested in the Hornet. We'll just have to wait and see if Chryslerberus and Chery can deliver the goods on product quality.

Nissan Cube

The Nissan Cube has been forbidden, asymmetrical fruit for years now, but Nissan is telling us the next version will be US-bound. We don't know if the funky style will survive, but it could be the beneficiary of Carlos Ghosn's big electric push, resulting in an all-electric Cube. We'd welcome the little-van-that-could with open arms even if it's just a gasser.

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This new car is slated to debut later this year at the 2008 Paris Auto Show and will do nothing if not provide fodder for the rumors of a new, 150 HP ST model. Since we can't help but love compact hot hatches this rumor-shrouded version has us looking up gray market importers, but we'll just have to wait to see if that pans out first. Since Ford hates US dollars, don't expect it to see American streets any time soon. [AutoExpress via WorldCarFans]

On top of the energy usage side, the Phylla is completely recyclable and made with a mix of aluminum, biodegradable plastics and all kinds of other green stuff. Though it is a joint effort from multiple design schools along with Fiat research center, we can't help but think this baby needs a heaping helping of Hayabusa engines. They still have time to make the necessary changes, it's still all digital at the moment. Fiat, listen, you used to make turbine-powered concepts, why not go retro? Who knows, perhaps we can actually make a real alternative see the light of day, rather than just the lights of the show floor and concept studio. [CarBodyDesign]

I had the use of an X-1/9 for a couple of weeks when I was a teenager, and I recall thinking "Cool! Italian sports car! This will be much fun!" Then, a few minutes into driving the thing, I thought "Damn, this thing is miserably underpowered... and why are all the dash switches, window cranks, and climate controls broken on a 3-year-old car? And what's that unpleasant noise from the transmission?"


I grabbed a couple of these scoops from a junkyard to use on the Black Metal V8olvo, but we ran out of time to install them. Maybe we'll have them rigged up as brake vents for the Thunderhill race.


The '82 X-1/9 listed for $10,990, a bit more than the Mazda RX-7 GS. The Mazda was orders of magnitude faster and more reliable (provided you treated the Wankel right), but the Fiat got better mileage and came with Bertone styling. What would you have taken?

Though we all know how successful turbine-powered cars turned out to be, you have to admit this is a pretty novel approach to open chamber combustion. You can visit the Turbina today where it lives in retirement at the Museo Nazionale dell'Automobile in Turin, Italy.
(Photo sources here, here and here)

This Fiat has a few dents, but all the parts are there, there's no (visible) rust, and it's in pretty good shape. It must drive, too, because it's not always in the same parking space.


With just 86 horsepower to haul its 2,180 pounds, the '77 Spider wasn't exactly fast. And with a list price of $6,115, buyers were likely tempted to shell out the extra $884 for the Japanese reliability and 149 horses of the Datsun 280Z.


Of course, the Z wasn't this car's true competition; British Leyland products like the MGB and TR6 were. So let's have a poll to see whether the Jalopnik readership would choose the 79-horsepower red MGB over the 86-horsepower red 124!

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