Just image the scene. It's California, the sun is shining. You're a guy who enjoys taking the time with the details during a classic car's restoration, while your wife shows her appreciation by acting and dressing like a movie star from the car's era.

This picture of the upcoming Fiat 500XL mini-minivan floated around the Internet in the past week and just about everyone's first reaction was about how ugly this car is. It may be a small people mover, but there's no getting away from the ungainly profile.

The back end of this original Fiat 500 has held a 580 horsepower Murcielago V12, a 3.0 liter Ferrari V8, and a 3.2 liter Porsche six. Basically, every engine ever made has been in there.

The fact that I'm admiting fake wind-up keys work — from an aesthetic standpoint — at all astounds even me. They're a bit cheesy. But if they're to be done, they should be done correctly, not slapped on the back of a car at an odd angle, like some afterthought refrigerator magnet.

We like the Fiat 500 Abarth. We like it more when it takes advantage of its short track and hits a go-kart track. We like it best when it runs a go-kart track for charity.

When the aliens come to harvest Earth for its talc and mangoes, I'm sure they'll give a quick looking over to our technology and culture. When they evaluate the content of the Internet, I think it's pretty safe to say they'll categorize it as a global infrastructure to distribute pornography and cute kitty and/or puppy …

We've said before that the MINI Countryman is a strange offering from a nameplate that gets its mojo from smallness. But we understand the company's desire to attract customers who can't quite give up the idea of owning a minivan.

California's population was at about 37,691,912 profoundly weird human beings as of last July, meaning it makes up roughly 12% of the entire population of the United States. If you're one of these 12% you can buy yourself a Fiat 500E electric car. The rest of you can fuggedaboutit because Fiat won't sell you one…

Fiat announced the pricing for the 2013 500 Turbo we've known about since 2009 and have seen for two months now. At $20,200 (including $700 destination), the Turbo does a Goldilocks between the $18,200 500 Sport and the $22,700 Abarth.

It looks like Fiat is prepping another variant of the 500 to hit our shores.