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Detroit, 5:23 PM
Wed Dec 2
28 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round

    Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of chucky2jimmy chucky2jimmy
    09/10/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    Yo Jay yo jay...check this out...

    I was born son of Byford, brother of Al
    Betty's my momma, and Run's my pal
    It's McDaniels, not McDonalds
    If I see a kid in a Civic, I'm gonna cap Ronald
     Reply
    Dr.Danger: ::You are awesome: promoted this comment chucky2jimmy was starred chucky2jimmy was unstarred
    Image of brickyard brickyard
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    Congrats to all of the finalists. Every one of these is pretty funny in it's own way. Jalops got skills!
     Reply
    acarr260 promoted this comment brickyard was starred brickyard was unstarred
    Image of TurboRefrigerator TurboRefrigerator
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    #1 for me, all the way. I still cannot look at the picture without smiling. It just feels very classy , and his goofy smile seems to work very well with the theme. It works especially well for me when viewed while listening to a foxtrot.
     Reply
    discontinuuity is happy that everything has been set right in the Jalopverse. Now all we need is more of engineerd's Brefas Scotch! promoted this comment Edited by TurboRefrigerator at 09/09/09 6:06 PM TurboRefrigerator was starred TurboRefrigerator was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    09/09/09


    @TurboRefrigerator: It also reminds me of yesterday's Wondermark cartoon.
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    Seeing as my ethical objections continue to be ignored, I am forced to fall back to the old "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" mentality.

    Thusly, my critique:

    #1: It looks like Watson has at last found his niche in life. Amusing as hell, but a little shy of meme tie in.

    #2: Such a shot of Heidi Montag is always a win, but otherwise, not much car-related.

    #3: Just....no. I never wanted to see Ferrari guy again.

    #4: Major kudos for the amount of effort that went into thinking that up and creating it. That is far and away one of the best.

    #5: I suppose it really had to happen, didn't it? Not much directly car- or Jalopnik-related, but Obama is now indirectly related to the automotive world, whether we like it or not. Superb use of subtlety to make a point.

    #6: That was a lot of Jalopnik memes crammed into one picture. I am reminded of looking at a "Where's Waldo" book as a child, only in this case trying to spot the most relevant meme.

    #7: No. I don't know what the background context on that is, and I don't really want to.

    #8: Clever parallel, but I would have gone with a shot of Pearl Harbor instead.

    #9: He does look like a Harvard kid, doesn't he?

    #10: Quite possibly the closest competition for #4. This one was great. It combines a new internet meme with a one of the most revered movie classics in all of Jalopland, and does so on several levels. I liked this one. A lot.

    Let's face it, regardless of what our opinions of Heidi Montag actually are, she is hot. #10 really was great, and I love Back to the Future. But in the end, as much as it kills me to deny any BTF reference, I have to give my nod to #4. It was just so much effort and so many memes that were so perfectly choreographed that I can't help but give it a standing applause.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Dhillaz 2.0 Dhillaz 2.0
    09/09/09

    @pauljones: I believe #7 is a reference to this in all its NSFW glory: [jalopnik.com] .
     Reply
    pauljones promoted this comment Dhillaz 2.0 was starred Dhillaz 2.0 was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    09/09/09

    @Dhillaz 2.0: If its NSFW, I won't be able to open it for a while, as I won't get home until around 8 pm this evening.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Dhillaz 2.0 Dhillaz 2.0
    09/09/09

    @pauljones: Well...not so much NSFW as NSFAnywhere. You must open it when alone, or not at all.
     Reply
    Dhillaz 2.0 was starred Dhillaz 2.0 was unstarred
    Image of Leeeeena the Jalopchick Leeeeena the Jalopchick
    09/09/09

    @pauljones: :( I couldn't think of a third person to represent bad drivers, general douchiness, and Jalopmemes other than Ferrari Guy. Have there been others? Maybe I haven't been on Jalopnik long enough.
     Reply
    Leeeeena the Jalopchick was starred Leeeeena the Jalopchick was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    09/09/09

    @Leeeeena a Jalopchick: No, no there isn't.

    The simple truth is that of the three, Ferrari Guy is simply the king. He's just full of so much fail that he actually wins. He also scares the hell out of me.
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Dhillaz 2.0 Dhillaz 2.0
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    I know you've chosen it to un-bias the votes after last time, but whoever made Run DMC Kid has just had their day ruined.
     Reply
    pauljones promoted this comment Dhillaz 2.0 was starred Dhillaz 2.0 was unstarred
    Image of Ben Wojdyla Ben Wojdyla
    09/09/09


    @Dhillaz 2.0: It came in #11, so we had to toss it up as something of an honorable mention. I was going to put this one I made up top, but decided against it.
     Reply
    Ben Wojdyla was starred Ben Wojdyla was unstarred
    Image of Brian Brian
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    #4 is by far the most Jalop.
     Reply
    Dr.Danger: ::You are awesome: promoted this comment Brian was starred Brian was unstarred
    Image of Rockford Brodie and the Masters of the Hooniverse Rockford Brodie and the Masters of the Hooniverse
    09/09/09

    In reply to Civic Kid Photoshop Contest: Grand Prize Voting Round
    Early results show #1 running away with it once again. It's pretty good, but how can anyone overlook #4's greatness? Come on, people!
     Reply
    Rockford Brodie and the Masters of the Hooniverse was starred Rockford Brodie and the Masters of the Hooniverse was unstarred
    Image of bmoreDLJ bmoreDLJ
    09/10/09

    @Rockford_Brodie will get himself and others killed: Chalk it up to #4 trying too hard, while #1 has an efforless elegance to it. #4 also takes too long to view; the scrolling, it annoys some. Also Spider-man is very 2007; even the PS3 doesn't use its font anymore. Thus its likely third or fourth place finish.
     Reply
    bmoreDLJ was starred bmoreDLJ was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    06/03/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    I just shot this link over to my lady friend. She replied "If he's a douche, he can piss inside me any time". Eewwwe!
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    06/03/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    Does this cock-rocker come with a foldback wedge to put one foot on while doing a solo? How big is his bulge, 80's big, Derrick Smalls Big?? I'm worried his hair isn't big enough too.
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    speechless.
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of 85_GN 85_GN
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    As a Chicagoan, I have one last pic to leave at Jalop.


     Reply
    85_GN was starred 85_GN was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/02/09

    @85_GN: You could stop going, you know.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Woodgrain Woodgrain
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    This guy looks familiar. Gold? Red?


    Got it: Ueli Anusliker

     Reply
    Woodgrain was starred Woodgrain was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/02/09

    @Woodgrain: Wheely Anuslicker?


    Wow. I'd almost forgotten about that already. And was happier for it.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of PHIL PHIL
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    Crack Pipe.


    Oh sorry, I though we were voting.


    Of course we know his name, it's Eldrock Bolton.


    I think that the crazy(est)thing is that for $250, you can ride in his Eldorado! Only $50 less?


    So here is what we know.


    He looks like a DNA splice of David Coverdale and David Lee Roth.


    He lives in the greater Chicago area


    He has not only a Ferrari, but a Cadillac Eldorado too( was it 1st prize in this months sales contest?.


    He offers mysterious "services".


    I really am dying to see what the Eldorado looks like.


    Blagoyovich should hire this guy to drive him to all his court appearances.


    I would hire him to drive me to funerals.

     Reply
    PHIL was starred PHIL was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/02/09

    @PHIL: He got a custom Ferrari 360. He got an Eldorado, too.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    I thought this sort of thing has been outlawed on Craig's List?


    Oh, wait. The most photographed guy in the US--except for the president--and we not only have no idea who he is, he is completely anonymous on the web site.


    Ah, well. I guess he has one last step before rock bottom, which would be paying people to ride with him.

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    06/02/09

    In reply to Would You Pay This Douche $300 To Drive You In His Ferrari?
    There are not nearly enough discofro shirtless guys in these pictures. And he wouldn't be hanging on to a guitar, but something else.


    Usually you don't see pictures like this in the video rental place's front room, know what I'm saying?

     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of brickyard brickyard
    06/02/09

    @Elhigh: Gay Porn department fer shur.
     Reply
    brickyard was starred brickyard was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    06/02/09

    @brickyard: Really terrible gay porn, no less.


    There's a pink Speedo under those pants.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
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