Wake me when you find a gray market GTB/GTS Turbo.

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How much does a clutch cost for an NSX? Can you still stay under fair book value after that's figured in?

Still not hellish nor cool enough.

The Ferrari seller states:

I also have...the previous owner repair bills. All will be included with the sale of the car.

No mention of whether the bills had been paid.

/cue graverobber's mob ties narrative.

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Of course you COULD just get some seats and a mid engine Iron Duke 4 cylinder out of a certain mid-80s Pontiac product for the Ferrari.

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Which of these cars will end your life? The 328. The Acura is an Acura. I don't give a Ats Rass if it's mid-engined, or been painted gold, or suffers from 117K of gold country back roads, it's a freaking Honda product and so your only fear is of dying from boredom.

328. Mid-eighties Ferrari without proper documentation and the implicit acknowledgement from the seller that proper maintenance has not been followed.

That's strike one.

It's on ebay at about $15K, for a car, in pristine condition, that has a market value of about $45K, and a total restoration, as the seller says will be required (and who am I not to trust him?) will run you somewhere in the neighborhood of $50K, putting you $20 in the hole. That's if you do a lot of the heavy lifting yourself.

That's strike two.

Neither of those is a deal killer however, but the there's something else. Something that perhaps you haven't taken into account. Why would you? You're excited about the prospect of owning an actual Ferrari, throwing that prancing horse keyfob on the bar at Black Angus and making all the ladies lift an eyebrow in interest.

It wouldn't even occur to you where the car is presently located, and why it has been sitting for so many years without activity. It's in Dumont New Jersey, home to Richard "The Iceman" Kuklinski, convicted contract killer for the mob. It's obvious that this Ferrari was once owned by one of Kuklinski's victims, who was whacked by the iceman for failing to repay one of his employer's loans. That hokey story about having kids? Yeah, right, like a few rug rats would keep a Ferrari owner from enjoying his magnificent steed.

So buying this car would mean involving yourself in the crime families of upper New Jersey, and maybe the original debt was never paid off. Maybe the only reason the current owner is alive is because he's never had the car on the road. Maybe if you bring the car back to life, pour your hard-earned money into fixing years of neglect, spend hours stripping, cataloging and rejuvenating hundreds o parts yourself, and eventually get the 328 back on the road, the mob will see it. It'll rekindle old memories of a specific slight.

And even though the original owner is at the bottom of the east river, his feet encased in concrete. And even though Richard Kuklinski died in prison (so they say) two years ago, you might still be in danger. There are others like the iceman, men who grew up on the hard scrabble streets of Dumont and in the surrounding Bergen county, who could be called upon to do a job. A job that involves an unresolved debt. A memory of which was triggered by the sound of a raucous little V8, and the flash of bright red paint. A debt that is inherent to this particular car, that you now own the same as you own its targa roof and supple leather interior appointments. A debt that will come to call.

But it's not a debt you will be able to repay, as you have sunk all your cash into the car, even to the extent of a second mortgage on your house. But they don't want the car. They want the money. They want it this week . . . or else. This is the foible of buying a car with a history, a history of violence and a macabre honor system that you have now become beholden to.

Strike three, you're out.

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That said, the Ferrari still wins. Of the three 328s I've seen on the street one was pouring putrid blue smoke, one was broken down on the side of the road, and the other was on fire.

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If I owned one, my head would explode.

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In return for giving its owner years of peace and quiet and service as a delightful ornament / shrine to Pininfarina the car is now owed replacement gaskets / rubbers on literally every component which has touched fuel / hydraulic fluid, New paint, I should suggest a thorough engine teardown..... My god, it would be heaven!

And the Honda ("Great for drifting" is code for car has been thrashed to within an inch of its life) is nice and all, but not Ferrari nice.

Gran Turismo Spider for the effin win.

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