These photos were posted by user John Lee PeTTimore at the QuattroWorld forum, who was forwarded the image by a co-worker. We'd like to see the tow truck that showed up to carry this $3.4 million vehicle back to the shop.

[QuattroWorld forum]

One more to add to our galleries of Automotive FAIL!(Hat tip to Alexhohio!)

You can see all of the adventurous car misadventures at ThatWillBuffRightOut.com. And if you like these failures, you'll love our collection of the automotive spirit failing below:

• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 1.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 2.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 3.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 4.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 5.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Painted Rotors Edition
• 30 Epic Do-It-Yourself Automotive Fabrication Failures
• 29 Automotive Fails
• "Ghetto Fab" Car Window Fail
• There, I Fixed It 2.0: The Ten Worst Car Mods Edition
• The Biggest, Most Awesome Automotive Fail Ever

See more automotive fail here.

Click on any of the photos to see some of the most poorly-conceived mods perpetrated by you, our dear readers.

And if you like these failures, you'll love our colleciton of the automotive spirit failing below:

• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 1.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 2.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 3.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 4.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 5.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Painted Rotors Edition
• 30 Epic Do-It-Yourself Automotive Fabrication Failures
• 29 Automotive Fails
• "Ghetto Fab" Car Window Fail
• The Biggest, Most Awesome Automotive Fail Ever

I was visiting the self-service wrecking yard that brought us such Field Expedient Engineering gems as the hasp-and-padlock Cadillac Security System, the Renault Alliance Urine Sample Shift Knob, and the Lord Humungus Body Kit Oldsmobile when I came across this early-80s Toyota Corolla Tercel (how's that for confusing branding?) with a really innovative driver's-side window. It appears that the Toyota's previous owner got tired of the lack of side glass in his or her ride, and (not willing and/or able to come up with $15 for a junkyard replacement window) did a pretty fair fabrication job on a piece of clear acrylic. So far so good…
Rather than enabling the old up-down by rigging the window up to the regulator mechanism in the door, the creator of this window decided to rig up some brackets to affix the window in place, then drilled hundreds of holes to provide incessant, maddening whistling ventilation at speed. Note how each hole is angled to point at the driver. Brilliant!

When I started the rewiring project, my plan was to remove every single component that ever transported electrons for the POD. However, I got lazy when it came to the taillights and front turn signal lights. Here's the "before" shot of the taillight wiring (cue spooky haunted-house music).

And here's the "after" shot. You can see how I totally, utterly failed here; rather than gut the light assemblies and transplant nice reliable sockets and wiring from a junkyard-donor Infiniti (my car of choice for light-bulb-related hardware), I kept the Lucas sockets and spliced my harness into the few inches of Lucas wire heading into them. Note the cut wire in this image; that's from the early stages of my "why ain't this working?" testing.

But that wasn't the real bonehead move. Oh no, that was the way I totally spaced on testing the lights for continuity and/or inadvertent grounding. Sure enough, when I had the wiring all done and started flipping switches, I popped a fuse every time I activated the brake lights, right turn, or taillights. Turns out that one brake light socket, one taillight socket, the license plate light socket, plus front and rear right turn signal sockets were dead shorts. That's five out of nine possible for the Prince Of Darkness!

Now, it's not entirely fair to single out British cars for electrical problems, because Detroit really doesn't get the recognition it deserves for maddening electrical problems, but Lucas Electrics got their fame for the combination of unreliability and symptom-masking undiagnosability. I should know better, too, because- in addition to having had MGs as daily drivers- I used some Lucas components in the Turbo II, Junkyard Boogaloo Boombox and had all of them fail. I thought it would be fun to use some Jaguar marker lights, both of which required total rebuilds in order to get juice to the bulbs, and the Lucas switch I tried to use? Ha ha ha! Smell the melting plastic! So, now I'll be completely excorcising the sulfur-scented works of the Prince from my project before I proceed.

It's the Carpocalypse and not everyone can afford pricey repairs or expensive used parts. This is where the ingenuity of man and the accessibility of dollar store duct tape comes in handy. We've selected our favorite auto-related "flxed its" and shared them here with you. Hit "next" to see how the world is fixing it.

[There I Fixed It]

Yeah, because Harbor Freight jack stands are sooo expensive.

This may seem inhumane, but this dog can now jog 60 MPH.

If only you'd have just done the hood, then you could have gone drifting.

Oh no, your truck now has termites.

We never get tired of this picture.

Years of playing Tony Hawk has ruined this kid's judgment.

The world's most literal mechanic says: "We'll have this fixed in a Jiffy"

Free next day delivery was too much for these people.

"Hey, why are you calling my car a piece of trash?"

If it ain't broke don't fix it. Actually, never fix it like this.

Lotus drivers have the same problem.

Surprisingly, these are the most homophobic people ever.

Aluminum siding is almost never worth it.

And if you like these you can follow our other features dedicated to the human spirit gone awry:

• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 1.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 2.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 3.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Version 4.0
• You're Doing It Wrong: Painted Rotors Edition
• 30 Epic Do-It-Yourself Automotive Fabrication Failures
• 29 Automotive Fails
• "Ghetto Fab" Car Window Fail
• The Biggest, Most Awesome Automotive Fail Ever

We could attempt to make some sort of sense out of the situation at hand, but the NASIOC forum member and Virginia Transportation Engineer who took these images has taken the time to umm... delicately... dissect the actions and reactions that resulted in this epic 'Dukes of Hazzard' style failure. Read on:

Dear Asian Woman in Grey VW Passat,

Every once in a while I come across pictures of accidents that are amazing, embarrassing, stupid, tragic and hilarious. But never have I ever come across an accident such as the one you had at one of our job sites this morning.

The first thought to go though my mind was the emoticon :-D, then a set of Internet slangs (ROFL and WTF to be exact) then an Internet meme of failblog. That's right, you have managed to create a scene so jawdroppingly incomprehensible, completely illogical, and physics defying that all the logical and reasoning receptors of my brain rejected these thoughts and they jumped straight to the portion of my brain destroyed by the Internet and alcohol. Taking the time to deduce the events prior to the current situation in the picture has made my brain hurt.

I have seen the maintenance of traffic plans on Frying Pan Road/Route 28 interchange and they are pretty simple. There were no sudden lane shift or complicated detours and the project was signing and marking was placed by the book. The lanes were narrowed from 12 feet to 11 feet and the traffic was shifted to one side to allow room for the construction area off the shoulder. The situation created should have been anything but confusing. All the cars entering the work zone were reduced in speed and the giant orange reflective barrels, signs and concrete barriers on either side channeled you into your lane.

If you could, please answer the following questions because Deep Blue would have trouble crunching the permutations it took for you to end up the way you did.

* How did you not notice that you at one point came off pavement and onto 50 feet of dirt, still manage to have enough speed traverse the dirt pile and jump 20 feet to land on the concrete wing wall?
* Are you familiar with operating a vehicle on a US roadway before?
* Do you know that on US roadways there is always pavement under your tires?
* Do you know the difference between driving on dirt and asphalt?
* Were you under the influence of and drugs, video game episodes or alcohol?
* Are you aware that there are no jumps to clear giant concrete obstacles while driving?
* Are you aware that there are no points, money, gold coins to gain if you attempt to jump mounds of dirt on the side of the road?
* Do you think you are Ken Block?
* Has the positions of the gas and brake pedals been modified on your vehicle?
* Do you know which pedal does what in your vehicle?
* Has your car been modified in anyway such as rocket boosters or anti gravity jets?

Thank you in advance. Hopefully these answers will stop the hemorrhaging in my brain. If this incident has not taken your license away permanently please voluntarily cut it up right now.

Cheers,
Oodles-of-Noodles

P.S. I was going to put the typical unamused picture here but I am not. This was anything but. In fact, it requires an applause picture. Bravo for making my day, Bravo.

Too harsh? Probably exactly what she deserves. (Hat Tip To Angus!)

[via NASIOC]

Our own Ray Wert takes the cake with his Saab Turbo X adventure. For those who don't remember, Ray was invited out to drive what was then the only Saab Turbo X in North America. It was a proper manual. Rather than just enjoying the car and gingerly tossing it around the Gingerman Raceway he decided to test out the new "heel-and-toe" technique he was familiarizing himself with. Two laps later there was a distinct burning smell. That's right. He toasted the only clutch in the only Saab Turbo X on the continent. FAIL! Being a better sport than he is driver, he was nice enough to let us share this story again.

So what's yours?

(QOTD is your chance to answer the day's most pressing automotive questions and experience the opinions of the insightful insiders, practicing pundits and gleeful gearheads that make up the Jalopnik commentariat. If you've got a suggestion for a good "Question Of The Day" send an email to tips at jalopnik dot com.)

The bottomless pit that is the Carpocalypse has brought us more bad news than we ever thought possible, so rather than sit and mope about the crappy automotive climate and your lost 401K, join us for a few minutes of painful irony thanks to our nomadic web hunting friends at Motive Mag. [TCL]

Shot on a Las Vegas pig farm for the BBC's Newsnight, Justin Rowlatt, the host, demonstrates the process involved in creating pig slop; from the delivery of leftover food from local restaurants to the transportation of the final product.

While the entire involved process of creating the food is nasty in its own right, it's as if Rowlatt never even considered, not for one minute, what could happen if he... well, we'd hate to ruin it for you, so you'll just have to see for yourselves. [via snotr]

Posted to a friend's Facebook page, Car Lounger, papaskot, deemed it necessary to share with the rest of his automotive clan this DIY failure and in doing so, leapt into a rabbit hole so deep there's really no end in sight. We invite you to peruse our idea of what must have gone through the troubled mind of this enthusiast. Just be sure you learn from his mistakes. [via TCL]

Your Guide To Great Automotive Failure

Step 1.
Pick up a pair of Powerslot vented rotors as cheap as you can find them. We'll be making a mess and wouldn't suggest dumping a bunch of money into this inconsequential piece of equipment.

Step 2.
Head down to your local automotive parts superstore to pick out the most ripe shade of "p***y magnet yellow" spray paint you can find. We want people to know you mean business.

Step 3.
Pay attention here as one mistake could produce a total failure. Do not — we repeat — do not, for any reason, mask off any portion of the rotors. We want a nice heavy coat of paint to cover all surfaces and grooves. Failure to do so will result in total failure and you don't want to be a failure, do you?

Step 4.
Install newly painted hotness, sit back and enjoy a juice box or two. Everyone's going to now know just how performance-minded you really are thanks to your enthusiastic DIY project.

Step 5.
Now cover up your shame behind the practically solid wheels on your '84 Corvette and never tell anyone about your adventures in failure. Don't even post it to Facebook, you definitely don't want your mistake to get out.

Not sold in the United States since 1955, the Aero is still much beloved in Brazil to this day. When you buy the plaster prototype model created by Willys during their research into a wagon version and you tell the seller to have it professionally packaged and shipped, you figure everything is OK. Right? Not so in this case, in which a UPS store apparently taped several boxes together, added bubble-wrap and peanuts, and fed the whole mess into the maw of the UPS Box Torture Track. The buyer insured it only for the purchase price, a move that has a certain failure-ness to it (with enough money, artists could be commissioned to restore the thing), and now he's very, very sad.
[Consumerist, thanks to Novaload for the tip]

Considering the level to which GPS has been integrated into strategic military operation, not to mention modern life, one might have imagined the US Air Force, which operates the system, would have been a bit more vigilant on its upkeep. Apparently, the combination of government bureaucracy, private sector incompetence, and plain old fashioned bad management have left the network of orbiting satellites in aged and on the brink of failure. Normal system maintenance is to send up a replacement satellite and let the other burn up in the atmosphere, but the $2 billion replacement program has been plagued by delays and overspending. The first replacement was scheduled to launch at the beginning of 2007 but is is scheduled to launch in November of this year, nearly a three year delay.

Granted, the US isn't about to let a system with such utility simply fail, but at this rate, there may be adverse effects in military and civilian applications. The fewer operational satellites sending triangulation data to your satnav, the less accurate your location will be on the map. Soccer moms and UPS drivers everywhere will be left aimlessly wandering the nations streets till they run out of fuel, then seen futilely inputting new destinations, all for naught. Those of us who still use paper maps and remember where things are won't even notice. [Gizmodo]

5. Perpendicular Parking

Who needs a Smart Fortwo for easy metropolitan parking when you've got the highly tuned parking genius that this numb nut driver portrays.

4. Get Out of My Spot, B****!

See, truTV may call this one of the five worst parking jobs, but this seems more to us like one of the best. This woman takes no prisoners in her attempt to get the parking spot. We have to admire that level of can-do attitude.

3. Neutral State

Heading to the gas station to get a few gallons for his summer landscaping job, Mr. Shortland is just your typical, hard working college student. Drunk, high and/or just absentminded. Look out below!

2. Come Back Here!

We typically support our local law enforcement, but this cop deserves to be the butt of all jokes until... well, forever. We bet if he had double chocolate frosted donuts in the car he would run just a wee bit faster.

1. Just a Little Joke

This little joke turns out to be an awesome comedic performance featuring one blown up beer; one goofy yellow car; one super rare, real life double take; and a little ass-dragging behind said goofy yellow car.
[via truTV]