<![CDATA[Jalopnik: exxonmobil]]> http://tags.jalopnik.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Jalopnik: exxonmobil]]> http://jalopnik.com/tag/exxonmobil http://jalopnik.com/tag/exxonmobil <![CDATA[Lewis Hamilton Portrait Painted With Motor Oil From His F1 Car]]> Parsons graduate David Macaluso proves there's other ways to depict motorsports than with crayons: he painted his corporate-commissioned portrait of Lewis Hamilton with the very oil from Hamilton's McLaren he drove to a 2008 F1 title.

The Hamilton portrait, which was paid for by McLaren’s fuel partner ExxonMobil, is far from being the only such piece in Macaluso’s extensive portfolio. While most of his motor oil paintings are abstractions, there are two portraits of another man of African ancestry who has gone where no man of his lineage has gone before: President Barack Obama.

Macaluso is clearly a fan of dead dinosaurs, as evidenced by this quote from the ExxonMobil press release:

Painting with the Mobil 1 used motor oil offered a wide range of tones and was obviously a very refined product from its texture. It was extremely smooth and very particle-rich, with all the engine dirt in perpetual suspension, making for a great painting medium.

If he ever decides to branch off into rock music, “Engine Dirt in Perpetual Suspension” would be one hell of a band name.

The depictee himself was rather pleased, saying he was “very impressed with the oil painting.”

The painting will have its first public outing at a VIP event at the British Grand Prix, where Hamilton will arrive as the defending champion. Although given the pace of his McLaren this season, he will need nothing short of divine intervention to retain that distinction at the very last Grand Prix race held at Silverstone.

Where another Brit will arrive as the clear favorite—Brawn GP driver Jenson Button.

Image Credit: David Macaluso, ExxonMobil

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<![CDATA[Exxon Mobil Posts Record $45.2 Billion Profit In 2008]]> Exxon Mobil posts record $45.2 billion profit for 2008. [MSNBC]

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<![CDATA[ExxonMobil Posts Largest Profit In US History, Makes $1,865.69 A Second]]> ExxonMobil has announced third-quarter profits of $14.83 billion, the largest profit ever recorded in US history. That number is up from the company's last record profit — in the second quarter — of only $11.68 billion. Let's put this into perspective; ExxonMobil could buy every Ferrari Enzo ever built, every 38 hours, and they'd still be profitable. Obviously this means additional tax incentives are needed to hasten oil exploration off the coastal shelf, to develop oil shale fields that'll be useless when a barrel of crude costs less than a movie ticket, and to create techniques to mine the souls of treehuggers for industrial uses. [CNN Money]

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<![CDATA[VW Passes Exxon As World's Largest Company By Market Cap]]> A massive stock price surge in shares of Volkswagen after Porsche's weekend news they'd be snagging a 75% share of the automaker, has briefly allowed VW to stake the claim as the world's largest company by market capitalization, passing oil giant Exxon Mobil. Volkswagen continued to climb Tuesday as short sellers rushed to cover positions with VW shares rising as much as 93% on Tuesday in what we're terming the craziest short sale of all time. With mid-day gains of "just" 50%, the stock is trading about five times higher than lows reached in January. Who knew Porsche could still cause such a stir? Whatever — it won't last long.

Since it's just short-seller covering positions, and sales are only up 3.9% (although that's not too shabby in these times), we're expecting the price to come back down to earth shortly.

But, for the moment VW shares, with a free float estimated to be as low as 5% with Porsche and the Lower State of Saxony holding much of the company, were at its high of Tuesday worth 295 billion euros, or $367 billion. Exxon Mobil closed Monday with a market capitalization of $343 billion. Quick, Congress, get to the floor and pass another tax break for "Big Oil!" We'll teach the Germans nobody pushes our oil companies around. [Marketwatch]

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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<![CDATA[Commenter Of The Day: The ExxonMobil Shell Game Edition]]> In all the furor over gas prices, a popular punching bag is ExxonMobil, which made something along the lines of $90,000 per minute, the highest corporate profit ever. It's interesting to note that this is actually less than what the market predicted the company to make and that the company's stock is dipping. The energy reporters at the Houston Chronicle, some of the best in the business, pointed out that all of this talk of profits ignores the more serious issue: Exxon's production slipped 10%, continuing the downward trend in production into a fifth quarter. This means the energy giant could be relying on high prices, not new discoveries or an increase in product, to pad its coffers. This is bad for everyone. Thankfully, WheatKing proposed a way to make lots of money in today's QOTD by providing electric power.

I want to build one of these stations with different coloured cords and different prices according to which cord you get..

For instance, the turbo blue cord, or high octane electrons, would be suitable for your plugin WRX or GNX..

the grey cord, low energy electrons, suitable for your plug in camry/accord..

The green cord, would cost extra, as it's comprised of free-range electrons travelling through recycled copper.

The pussymagnet yellow cord would be suitable for your electric porsche or ferrari..

And.. we can't forget about the Nordst Valhalla power cable for the audiophile's car... the most expensive of electrons for your vehicle enables the ultimate of audio reproduction capabilities and allows your stereo to reach it's highest of potential. acoustically harmonizing maple blocks to park your car on are extra, but available upon request.

We're cheap enough to get the RaceTrak brand shitty electrons.]]>
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<![CDATA[GM "Breaks Up" With Big Oil; Booty Calls, Beatings Likely To Continue]]> McCann-Erickson, the agency that brought you such Buick tag lines as "Dream Up" and "Beyond Precision," has decided GM needs to put its foot down and end its self-abusive, codependent-yet-carnally-thrilling relationship with Big Oil. A new campaign will debut on June 22, when the General will present a "Dear Oil" letter, accentuating the magic the two industries once had together but acknowledging things haven't been the same since Oil got drunk and hooked up with China. Reports hint GM Chairman and CEO Rick Wagoner hopes the automaker can maintain an ongoing "friends with benefits" arrangement, at least with BP.

GM has been greenwashing boosting ad spending for its more fuel-efficient models since the middle of last year. But Katherine Benoit, GM corporate marketing director, claimed that although the company may have been cheating with E85, they swear they'd stopped dating, citing as proof the suspension of ads for its Flex-Fuel models — remember Live Green, Go Yellow? — partly because the fuel isn't widely available, and partly because recent reports are blaming corn-based ethanol for elements of a burgeoning global food crisis. And frankly, GM just doesn't need that kind of stress right now.

Unconfirmed reports state that a consortium of hydrogen fuel cell labs always thought GM was hot, but that they'll wait a few months to see if GM is really through with Big Oil before making a move. They don't want to end up getting the shaft like Electric did back in the '90s. [Automotive News (Sub. Req.)]

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<![CDATA[ExxonMobil Releases Third Quarter Earnings, Down To Second-Largest Profit Ever]]> The titan that is the world's largest publicly traded oil corporation on revenue, spoke from high atop an oil well this morning, delivering their quarterly earnings for the third quarter of 2006. And oh what a profit ExxonMobil had — the company reported the second largest profit by a publicly-traded corporation ever — $10.5 billion ($1.77 per share). That's down from the last quarter of 2005, when the company reported the largest profit by a publicly-traded corporation ever — $10.7 billion ($1.79 per share). Well, gas prices were down a bit this past month, weren't they? [Hat tip to Bob!]

Exxon makes $10.5B, a near-record quarter [CNNMoney.com]

Related:
End of Summer Drops Gas Prices [internal]

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<![CDATA[The Jalopnik Morning Shift]]> MorningShiftLogo.jpg
&#8226; Bad News — gas prices can affect auto sales. Good News — GM upgraded by Merrill Lynch [Freep]
&#8226; Safety Cars are confusing. [crash.net]
&#8226; What? Are Cobo and Javits already taken? [Inside Bay Area]
&#8226; Burned body in car? Sad. Burned body in car in watermelon patch? Funny. [The Monitor]
&#8226; Just blow, baby — yeah, like that. I wanna taste your breath on my breathe-pipe. Only then will I know you're drunk as a skunk. [Freep]
&#8226; Well good, we feel so much better about paying higher gas prices now that we know in this quarter Exxon Mobil's made 7% higher profits over last year's record. We think we just vomited in our mouth a little. [Detroit News]

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