Jalopnik: evil

Lord Humongous Rides Again! Six-Wheeled Death Machine Recreated

Andrew Didorosi — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:20:00 EDT

Lord Humongous' armored killer buggy is a solid contender for the title of "Most Jalopnik Vehicle Ever Made." It's built the exact way it should've been: In an all-out garage thrash. More evil inside.

Based on an '84 Ford F-150, this blood-and-guts custom faithfully recreates everyone's favorite post-apocalyptic survival vehicle down to the tiny bits. The added third axle isn't driven - and the nitrous isn't hooked up to anything - but we're completely sold on this monster. For what this machine lacks in mechanical ability it makes up for in spades with a working loudspeaker and realistic prisoners.

Stashed in the corner of this year's Autorama 2009, it's mightyness loomed over every custom built so dearly. The sheetmetal body work on the death chariot looks like it's been sectioned with a hacksaw and buzzed together with an arc welder; we wouldn't want it any other way. Where are you going to find a nice, powerful Miller TIG in the middle of the wasteland? Nowhere.

When we questioned the positionable Lord Humongous cardboard collector cutout, he only replied,

Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the Wasteland. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror. I await your answer. You have one full day to decide.

Wait, is he talking about Detroit?

Here With Fanfare, Your Final Tribute To Evel Knievel

bwojdyla — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 13:45:00 EST

Though the kitchy and hilarious "Jump of Legends" didn't make your cut in the vote for Jalopnik's final Evel Knievel tribute, the handsome and impressively constructed "Creation of Evel" did, with a commanding 37.4% of the vote. This tasteful work was contributed by reader Thomas Reynolds, who hails from the beating heart of hoon central, Australia. We asked Thomas to say a few words about his inspiration, process, and what Evel meant to him. His take on Evel, and stories of years gone by after the leap...

The inspiration was simple: to a now 30-something male growing up 15,000 miles away- Evel was God in the 70s.
In the late 70's Santa brought me an Evel K toy - complete with rip cord start, two jumps and THE cape. Years later my Mum told me that my (now deceased) Dad and his drunken mate were taking turns shooting Evel down the hallway very late on Xmas eve. When she tried to tell them to stop, me Dad replied "But... it's EVEL!"

And so when I photoshopped Evel jumping over the hand of God, I thought it strangely appropriate. The Beatles were bigger than Jesus, but Evel was bigger than God. Reckon he would have made it over the pearly gates with just a few more MPH too.

Anyway, many thanks to the Jalopnik crew- when I am named host of the Australian version of Top Gear (dear EK/God - yes please!), I'll be sure to forget to name you all as my inspiration.

Keep this reply in mind for the next time we ask for an acceptance speech, cause this one's got it all: Fond childhood memories, heartstring tugging, hubris, and just a hint of Jalopnik ego stroking. Thomas, we think you're the tops too (especially since he sent us shots of his sick daily driver - jealous). We're tossing the gallery of all the entries out one more time, because after all, a sendoff to a legendary figure can't really be the best. In fact, we're pretty sure the entries make the most rounded and fitting tribute when viewed together.

Evel Tribute Submissions In, Help Us Decide The Final Jump

bwojdyla — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:15:00 EST

A few Friday's ago, the hoon world lost the renegade of the ramp, the sultan of speed, the king of compound fractures, Evel Knievel. We asked you to work up your personal tribute to this monster of pop culture and you responded in spades. In the last days, we put together the Jalopnik Counsel of Awesomeness and selected our ten favorite entries for you to vote on. The reasons range from impressive level of CIA style photo manipulation, to complete irreverence mirroring the life of the man in question. We've decided to leave the voting anonymous, so as to avoid the popularity contests that you kids get caught up in. The winner, and their commentary will be revealed on Wednesday afternoon. Voting, and as always, comments, after the jump.

An Evel Knievel Tribute: Photoshop the Hoonfather's Final Jump

bwojdyla — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 10:45:00 EST

If you're anything like us, you're completely heartbroken over the passing of ubermensch and all around hero to hoons everywhere, Evel Kneivel. Rarely in the annals of history has a man come along with no purpose other than to capture the popular imagination. There are an untold number of errant youths who invested the precious time of their childhood summers emulating this master of the impossible, the improbable, with well worn Huffy's and dirt ramps. We suspect that a great many of those wayward hoon-igans have found refuge here. Given the passing of such a momentous figure, we feel it necessary to pay tribute in some manner and to ask for your help. We would like you, the reader, to do your best to photoshop St. Knievel's final jump into the great beyond. Only "appropriate" submissions will be accepted which are sent into the tips address will be considered for the vote by you on the final tribute. Have at it — Evel'd want it this way.