I was really hoping to take a look at their Black Ops 24 Hours Of LeMons racer, but I was only able to shoot the single photo you see here prior to being hustled away from the vehicle by a squad of Phone Police. Still, it's a clue!


The Black Metal V8olvo was there, in the Evil Genius Purgatorial Parking Area. There will be a new theme for the 302-powered Volvo DL at the Goin' For Broken race in Nevada; more on that soon.


Here's another potential LeMons car, though the EG says he can't quite bring himself to beat up such a solid, restorable 240Z, regardless of initial price tag.


Check out that custom instrument panel! The previous owner of this car was celebrating National Day Of Slayer year-round!


Then there's the World's Nicest Fiat Spider, which is definitely be the most original early-80s Fiat I've ever seen.


Over in the shop, Evil Clint was doing some welding on a project that earns a big Jalopnik Stamp-O-Approval™: a Mazda Miata with all-aluminum Chevrolet LS1 V8, T56 6-speed, and Lincoln Mark VIII 8.8" IRS rear. We recommend that all cars get their recommended daily allowance of Vitamin LS; in the case of this Miata, the end result will be lighter than the Mazda-engined car. How about 400 horsepower in a 2,300-pound car?


I thought that was pretty cool, but then I saw this '87 Porsche 928 on the Evil Genius dyno. The engine is fairly close to stock and puts out a reliable 300 horsepower, which made the 3,700-pound 928 go pretty well… but this car has been put on a ruthless diet. Yes, there are many things a 928 really doesn't need- things such as headlights, door guts, etc.- and all of them have been torn out. With cage and a half-tank of fuel, it weighs just 2,850 pounds.


Check out those 14" rear wheels. That's width, not diameter! Granted, this car has 550 more pounds and 100 fewer horses than the LS1 Miata, but I don't care- I prefer the Porsche! What do you say?

You'd think that the Evil Genius would be willing to reveal the secrets of this project to his erstwhile Black Metal V8olvo teammates, but lately he's been seen rolling in a black Suburban with very dark window tint, surrounded by a bunch of guys with earphones, sunglasses, and gun bulges. It's all very mysterious, and the implication is that anyone who asks too many questions about the alleged EG LeMons racer (which, rumor has it, is called simply "Black Ops") will end up confessing his or her crimes in a secret compound in a country where they've never heard of Miranda v. Arizona. I do know for a fact that the Black Ops racer is going to raise the bar for LeMons madness, even given the stratospheric levels set by the Ghettocharged Frankenmiata and CBR990RR-powered Metro Gnome. For now, all we can show you is this heavily-redacted FOIA document, but we're going to keep digging for more info.

As you speculate on the very-wrong-but-oh-so-right vehicle that is Black Ops, you'd better start preparing for the Houston Gator-O-Rama 24 Hours Of LeMons event, which opens the 2009 LeMons season next weekend. I'll be there, the Loverman will be there, some cruel innovative new penalties will be there, several junkyards' worth of (alleged) $500 race cars will be there, and we've cooked up some surprises that you won't want to miss. See you there!

Here's what John has to say about his past experiences and future plans in NASA endurance racing:

I’ve been competing in the NASA 25 hr race since its inception as a 12 hr back in 1995.. Usually with a first generation RX7.. last year we raced a Miata and the old warhorse RX. Some simple math says that that RX has 1500 hours of racing on it… that is a huge amount of time for a racecar… it has been put into semi-retirement, it is now eligible for vintage racing and will probably be used for just that.

This year we are going after the 25hr in a big way, two brand new ITA spec 1.8L Miatas and a third Spec Miata 1.6. Three cars, yes, I’m crazy. We’ve teamed up with Miller Motorsports, a team that has been a perennial contender for the E-2 class win, as we have been. Rather than race against them, we’re racing with them this year.

Our build up started back in June, we bought a 200,000 mile 1.8L Miata on Craigslist, acquired another one from one of my customers and started stripping them down. I’ve always liked the Lotus green/yellow combo. So we painted them half and half, then mixed up the parts. So the cars have a yellow/green—- green/yellow mashup. Our first test of the new cars was at Thunderhill at the end of October. We had many issues, no oil pressure in one car… some loose nuts and bolts, but in the end our drivers got us a 1st and 6th in the ITA race, a 3rd and a 6th in the 4 hour enduro and we won the Improved Touring cup, as the fastest Improved Touring (IT) finisher in the enduro. This past weekend we tested at Thunderhill again, both cars are down on power, so as I write this the engines are coming out, we are hunting for more power… let’s hope we can find some………. I will update you guys at Jalopnik as I have time.

If you can, come to the race. The start is quite a scene, with F-16 flyovers, bagpipers, and lots of other pageantry, and of course you can cheer for us boys and girls from Evil Genius. It is only $10 to get in as a spectator…… 11:00AM on Saturday Dec 6th is when it starts, ending 25 hours later at noon on Sunday.

With a mere 13 weeks remaining until the Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza race at Thunderhill, it's time for teams to get serious about car preparation (and those of you who haven't even started, we have one word of advice for you: PANIC!). While the Bent Belvedere was getting its cage installed in Livermore and ArmandBengle was- we hope- installing twelve exhaust pipes on his team's Jaguar XJS, several members of Black Metal V8olvo headed up to the West Sacramento shop of Evil Genius Racing to participate in a long day of LeMons Wrenching Hell in the 97° heat.


There's enough interesting machinery on the premises of ERG to make most veteran Jalopnikers drool uncontrollably; in addition to swarms of Spec Miatas everywhere you swivel your fevered optics, there's a pair of cars getting prepped for the Carrera Panamericana (Corvair Corsa and Mitsubishi Evo), a vintage-racer Mazda RX-3, and a trio of Mazdas fixin' to race in the 25 Hours Of Thunderhill. Even the parts car/way-in-the-future-project storage area (see above photo) has some great stuff. And of course, there's 24 Hours Of LeMons machinery all over the place.


A couple of shop employees have been bitten hard by the LeMons bug- yeah, it's contagious- and so they went and found themselves this Ford Fiesta. If they can avoid the Size Matters Chrysler, they should do pretty well at Thunderhill. And because it's way easier to race when you get a parts car, they've found a real winner…


This crazy Fiesta airport shuttle! Apparently this handcrafted gem was used at some rural California airport to haul passengers across the dirt taxiways out to their Fokker Trimotors, and it's still got plenty of life left in it (we think it should be used as the race car, but the team had already put the cage in the other Fiesta by the time they picked up this one).


Remember the 242 Turbo parts car we got for free when we were building the V8olvo? After donating most of its electrical connectors to the V8olvo's wiring harness, plus numerous brake and suspension components, plus a bunch of parts to other teams at Altamont (including a front strut to the Bernal Dads), what was left of the 242T went to the Evil Genius, who figured he'd make some sort of race car out of it… someday.


Well, someday is here, and Evil Clint (of Yugo fame) is busily installing hacked-up precision camber-enhancing strut tower tops, while John "Evil Genius" Pagel has scrounged up a free Volvo 16-valve head to attach to the headless B23 block sitting in the car. Let's hope it works! And, speaking of scrounging…


Since quite a few bits and pieces off the 242T were missing, John went searching for a dead, unwanted Volvo and found this 70s 244 whose erstwhile owner was eager to have it hauled away, high scrap steel values or not. You may have noticed that it's sporting the doors from the V8olvo, and there's a reason for that…


During the course of the Altamont race, the V8olvo's sheetmetal took quite a pounding, emerging from the race in a state sure to bring tears to the eyes of any proud Göteborg resident. The car was in fine shape, mechanically speaking, but gutted doors + lots of contact = ugly Volvo. So, John swapped the nice doors off the new parts car with the nasty doors off the V8olvo.

After we de-window-fied the doors, we got to work with hammers, pry bars, and porta-power, straightening out the fenders and quarterpanels. I worked on installing some super-secret Black Metal electronic gear (let's just say the angry spirit of Odin will be audible at the track) and we got busy trying to meet the Chief Perpetrator's new safety regs. Yes, there must be a metal bulkhead between the vehicle cabin and the trunk, you can't have any holes in the firewall, and an electrical cutoff switch is now mandatory- it's like we're afraid of fire or some such silliness! What's next, outlawing roof-mounted 55-gallon drum fuel tanks? Banning M80-hurling hood-mounted mortars?


There were Volvo parts everywhere, several Miata engine transplants taking place, a lowrider '70 Cadillac getting a primer paint job, and at least one Ford 302-powered Swedish burnout in the parking lot. All in all, a good day.


As for the Quadra-Bumper, that's what you get when you remove the bumpers off a pair of Volvos in order to strip the unsightly black plastic covering and expose the gleaming aluminum beneath; it just makes sense to start stacking them on the one Volvo with bumpers still attached!

My favorite part? The "Use Only Geniune Yugo Service Parts" sticker on the air cleaner. You wouldn't want to put any low-quality parts on your Yugo, would you?