european new car assessment programme

posts about #europeannewcarassessmentprogramme more →
Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests

Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.

Dsmvwl Admin Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×

damnelantra™
04/30/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
i cannot wait for pete to kick him the hell out
Reply

damnelantra™ was starred damnelantra™ was unstarred

LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
mmm I'm absolutely enjoying watching the Boxter go into the wall over and over again. I could watch it until I go insane.

Although for me to take pleasure in the video even more, a few things need to be added or changed...

-A Mocha Latte in a cardboard cup smashing into the windscreen.

-Crash test dummy replaced with a real Porsche driving wanker

-His cell phone (which he'd be holding to his bead-filled head) melding with his face with the impact.
Reply

Bentoboxx, My Tank is full of it
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
I loved reading the argument the VetteHeads had on youtube over the video of the Vette. To bad I could not watch the Video
Reply

Goes Like Stink
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
I want one of those crash carts for when people block my driveway
Reply

Goes Like Stink was starred Goes Like Stink was unstarred

FЯeeMan
04/30/09

@Goes Like Stink: good call!
Reply

FЯeeMan was starred FЯeeMan was unstarred

ManicSquirrel is preparing for winter
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
The mercedes has some serious crumple...so where does the engine go?
Reply

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@ManicSquirrel: It drops the engine so that it doesn't protrude into the cabin. Or a Benz salesman would have you believe.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

MushyHeirloom
04/29/09

@Pessimipposaurus: That's what they reassured us about the Noob Eatall. Haven't had to find out, but it's a ten-year-old design that still rates at full marks in a frontal crash, so I guess it works.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

Skunky
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
Given how much people say an overpowered car is simply a replacement or enhancement to one's manhood, this is sorta like watching a bunch of videos of people getting kicked in the crotch.....and just as entertaining!
Reply

Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
Someone forgot to tell whoever crash-tested the Diablo that they use different cars for different tests. Probably cost-driven.

These are all really good compared to, say, a Cavalier. In that the wheels don't enter the passenger compartment.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@FuzzyPlushroomanyte: Have you had that happen to you before?

And aren't you kind of annoyed that our names are stuck like this permanently?
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

Analyst
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
Why in the hell people keep mentioning ADAC's ridiculous rating given to the BS4? All other auto clubs that co-funded the test rated it a 3 star car.

ADAC and the whole German media is pathetically protective of their auto industry. Just recently ADAC said Europe's most fuel efficient car was a VW (wtf?). And there, BMW, Merc and VW have the best reliability ratings, while in the US BMW and Merc are below average and VW is rock bottom.

Nothing Germans say about cars should be taking seriously.

[www.i3china.net]
Reply

Analyst was starred Analyst was unstarred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@Analyst: According to that logic, no national safety testing should be trusted.

Besides, Insurance Institute for Highway Safety in the US gave Audi A6, Audi A3, Audi A4, BMW 3 series, Mercedes C class, Volkswagen Jetta, Volkswagen Passat, Volkswagen Eos, Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf, Audi Q7, BMW X3, BMW X5, Mercedes M class all top marks for 2009 model year.

If you can't stomach the fact that Chinese cars are less safe than those of the established international manufacturers, I'm afraid there is no nope for you.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@Pessimipposaurus: Damn typo. I meant no hope.

Oh, and the VW Tiguan also won too.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

Analyst
04/29/09

@Pessimipposaurus:

I never said Chinese cars are as safe as those of established international manufacturers. That's a ridiculous idea (at this point).

But it is true that there was bias on the BS4 rating and that Germany is very protective of its auto industry, given its importance to their economy. I just think that the 0-star rating was a really low blow.
Reply

Analyst was starred Analyst was unstarred

Mobius
04/29/09

@Analyst: Dude, because we need something to make fun of. I'm Chinese, but I don't take the jokes seriously or personally. It's just fact exaggerated.

Hey, we've got all their money and jobs, so who's laughing now?

"All your base are belong to us."
Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@Mobius_1: You're mistaking yourself as an Indian there, buddy.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

leavethegun-takethecannoli
04/29/09

@Analyst:

Why don't you go punch your clown, you might feel less argumentative after that.

Or have a drink.
Reply

Mobius
04/30/09

@Pessimipposaurus: Aren't they the same thing?

:D
Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

Novaload
04/30/09

@Mobius_1: Ha, you think we're going to repay that money? Joke's on you!
Reply

Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred

damnelantra™
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
so wait, is the porsche boxster a good crash or a bad one.

i know econoboxes crumple like tin cans so the front absorbs all the energy but what of that car?
Reply

damnelantra™ was starred damnelantra™ was unstarred

CompWizrd
04/29/09

@damnelantra™: Well, the Porsche test is a 25mph full frontal.. what speed are the rest at? Aren't the tests we usually see at 45mph(and offset, at that)
Reply

CompWizrd was starred CompWizrd was unstarred

Alan Olson
04/29/09

@CompWizrd: I think most crash tests are done at around 30mph. I could be wrong. I know F1 crash tests are 15m/s, or about 55mph (it says so in the regulations).

But I feel like for sport/supercars, and especially F1, crash tests should be done at much higher speeds, like 100mph, because that seems to be the popular thing to do these days.
Reply

Alan Olson was starred Alan Olson was unstarred

Mobius
04/29/09

@Alan Olson: TBH, I'm not sure it matters that much. No amount of engineering and safety testing can replace good, sensible, safe, omniobservant driving that does not involve talking on the phone while facebooking on a laptop while drinking a Venti while putting on makeup while changing the song on the iPod while setting a new destination in the nav while talking to the kids in the back to shut them up while petting your dog in your lap while breastfeeding your baby while puffing on a cigarette while drinking a breathalyser while admiring the convertible that just passed while reading the newspaper while thinking about what hairstyle is good and what dress to wear and what shoes to buy and what bags to splurge on and what perfume to sample.

I'm hoping most cars don't go over the speed limit on public roads, and really though, it is kinda hard IMHO (although some people's stupidity is beyond belief) to crash driving in a straight line on the highway.
Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
The exotics don't start until #5.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

slater
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
I love how the Boxster's mirrors wave around like a dogs ears. I don't know why but it made me laugh out loud. now I look like a weirdo.
Reply

slater was starred slater was unstarred

MushyHeirloom
04/29/09

@slater: YES! That was some funny stuff. The entire car just boings off of the wall.
Reply

MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@slater: I thought I was the only one. I'm amazed by the tenacity of those wires.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

DasBrink
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
The RS200 finally answers the question of how a tube frame chassis deals with a crash test. But there has to be a crazy amount of Gs on the driver with no crumpling to speak of.
Reply

DasBrink was starred DasBrink was unstarred

Skunky
04/29/09

@DasBrink: It could definately use a much better windshield seal though.
Reply

Skunky was starred Skunky was unstarred

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@DasBrink: I'd rather die intact than lose my limbs.

It's so surreal watching these videos while listening to show tunes.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
That Lambo got a Kill Bill treatment.
Reply

Dr. H. F. Danger
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
Even the Boxster's crash test is boring.

What a piece of crap.
Reply

Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred

ThreeLitre
04/29/09

@Dr.Danger is a pottymouth: I actually thought this one was quite humorous - did anyone else catch how it flapped its side mirrors in the wind when it crashed? It looks like its wiggling its ears!
Reply

ThreeLitre was starred ThreeLitre was unstarred

Mobius
04/29/09

@Dr.Danger is a pottymouth: Actually, that would really buff right out.

And I'd rather my crashes not be too dramatic and tragic.
Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

Novaload
04/30/09

@ThreeLitre: Also, the driver dummy looks like someone I know. And he just looks right into the camera for what seems like a long time. "Hey, look at me, I got the Porsche!" Ooops.
Reply

Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred

Hello Mister Walrus
04/29/09

In reply to Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests
Wow, supercars are really mushy. I guess it's to prevent the occupants from dying when crash at 200 mph.
Reply

Mobius
04/29/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: Such as this guy?

Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

Analyst
04/29/09

@Mobius_1:

Good job destroying an overpriced German POS. Props to him.
Reply

Analyst was starred Analyst was unstarred

Mobius
04/29/09

@Analyst: That car, IMHO, is British. It is, however, overpriced, but, on the other hand, it's not a POS. It's awesome. Although not as awesome as the Photoshop contest inspired by this d-bag, I gotta say.
Reply

Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred

BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ
04/29/09

@Hello Mister Walrus: Save the Douchebags! Why shoud we save them?

SAFE THE SUPER CARS!!
Reply

Pessimippopotamus
04/29/09

@BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ - Is not Ash: If it means saving super cars, I'll gladly save a douchebag! Wait. Douchebags kill super cars!

Kill the bastards!!!

@Mobius_1: Eh. It's more German than British.
Reply

Pessimippopotamus was starred

Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

#europeannewcarassessmentprogramme

Jalopnik

SUBSCRIBE TO Jalopnik

Ten Best Super Car Crash Tests

Login

Reset Password

Register

Submit Your Comment