Everything was going just fine for Der Wienerschmoker II, Electric Boogaloo (which somehow managed to get an M3 engine past the LeMons Supreme Court), but it turns out that more power doesn't necessarily result in a better race car. We're not quite sure what happened out there, but the result was one very bent-up E30. Note all the Bart Simpson Penalty writing under that Thunderhill dirt on the bodywork; perhaps we should have been harsher on the Wienerschmokers in the Penalty Box!

The love flowed rich and fast yesterday for the Datsun 510- just not for a 510 that happened to have been shoved through the ricer on its way to the West Coast JDM-gasm show. That bad boy racked up a 75% Crack Pipe vote despite its clean enough to eat off of it VG30 installation.

As we noted yesterday, the 510 had been considered the poor-man's BMW due to its similar boxy shape and sporting pretensions. At the time, BMW gave little notice to the aspirations of the Japanese wannabes, because they were too busy taking the racing technologies that their M-Technik group had been developing into their road cars. The first fruit of this labor was the homologation of the M1 supercar, and the next was the the E30-based M3, an example of which is our debate club subject for today.

Now, BMW drivers have a reputation as being a bit egotistical, and wearing their cars as extensions of their manhood for all to see. Whether that's true or not, the cars themselves are almost always a cut above the ordinary. The M-series cars have also always been a cut above that.

This 1988 M3, in steel gray with a charcoal interior, has stepped out of a time machine. While many of the first generation M3s have been beaten to death, this car, with only 37,000 on the clock, appears factory fresh. The second-owner seller claims the car has been consistently garaged, and, while not restored, has been refreshed as needed. That condition is reflected in the asking price, which is sitting in the nose-bleed seats at $39,000. Actually, he'll sell it without the Evo pieces for $5,000 less.

Now, KBB doesn't go back to '88, but for an 1989 M3 in excellent condition, they quote a private party price of $12,650! This M3 had better do more than just carve canyons, it should also bring you your beer and slippers when you're done, and feign ignorance of your whereabouts when the cops arrive shortly after.

But that's not to say this is an outrageous price- after all how many low-milage E30 M3s do you come across? So, do you think $39,000 is a fair price for so ultimate an example of this driving machine? Or, does that ultimately drive you to look somewhere else?

You decide!

Autotrader or go here if the ad disappears. Hat tip to jogales!

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Why, even E30 pilots were eager to have the new Noch Ein Scheiß-E30 ("Yet Another Shitty E30") stencil applied to their rides. Not only that, Walker has printed up a bunch of T-shirts bearing an even better version of the new design... and you can't buy one! Only those at Carolina Motorsports Park in person tomorrow will have a shot at the Next Big Thing in racerwear.

Piper Motorsport is behind this build. We'll let them talk you through it:

Welcome to the build of the "Franken M3". The car is a current project of ours which started September of 2007. The idea behind this project was to build the ultimate BMW using the best of the best from BMW's line up. Some may argue whether or not the E30 M3 had much to improve on in the first place? Of course not! The E30 M3 is and always will be a great performer in factory trim and truly is a classic. We've simply started with an E30 M3 and built a whole new breed of the BMW M series.

To start we stripped the car of everything suspension, engine and drive train related and tossed it aside. Come to think of it, nothing but a few miscellaneous body panels and interior pieces have remained thus far.

Next, all new E90 (06-07 BMW 3 series) front and rear sub frames with all associated suspension components where assembled on a chassis jig and adjusted to fit within the stock body of the M3. To achieve this, the stock front frame rails have been removed and new rails where constructed to adapt the new sub frame. We've even raised the front shock towers to allow proper suspension travel for the E90 suspension. The rear of the car was completely cut and removed, excluding the exterior body panels of course, then re constructed to fit the new rear suspension package. This includes the fabrication of new rear shock towers, frame rails, spring mounts, wheel tubs and all related sheet metal work.

Many have asked us, where's the roll cage? Just look closer. Knowing that the customer wanted some form of interior re installed, the roll cage was integrated into the body. The A and B pillars have been sectioned and removed. The bars are inserted into the body making the cage virtually invisible. Door bars are normally just too intrusive on a street car so the inner rocker panels were also sectioned. A hefty piece of box steel was then welded in place connecting the front of the cage to the back while offering some additional side impact protection as well. Essentially all that will be seen after interior is installed will be the rear X and harness bar.

Now for the part everyone's been waiting for, the infamous S85 M5 V10 power plant. This motor was chosen for obvious reasons and it's been matched up with the M5 6 speed manual transmission, differential and half-shafts. The installation of the engine actually started during the first few steps of the suspension assembly on the chassis jig. The new E90 front sub frame was completely reconstructed, among other things to adapt the new engine. Firewalls generally get in the way when stuffing big motors into little cars, so the firewall and transmission tunnel have been removed and were later reconstructed around the new engine and trans. We were very happy with the final placement and balance of the engine, in fact the top of the cylinder heads are just shy of sitting lower than the top of the wheels themselves.

Once the motor was in place and the firewall sealed up, then it was time to wire the car. Rather than spending countless hours ourselves, we decided it was best to contact the best at Apex Speed Technology in CA to complete the task. They worked with a Pectel SQ6M12 management system and wired the car front to back. They made multiple trips from CA, spent countless hours, worked late nights and weekends but we couldn't be happier with the results. There are many neat features that one would never expect to see on an E30. Such as programmable and adjustable traction control, full variable camshaft control for all 4 cams, full electronic throttle control for both throttle banks, driver selectable Anti-lock Brake system, Digital Pi OMEGA dashboard with multiple pages to monitor all vital functions and a Ole Buhl Racing power management system with electronic load control and power distribution

As you could imagine, with the new suspension and wheel/tire combo the fender clearance became an issue. So we've extended the front and rear fender flares to accommodate the wider track which gives it a more aggressive, but subtle look. To finish it off a stainless steel dual exhaust system with twin mufflers exit through the rear bumper.

After our job with the metal fabrication was finished our friends at Old School Enterprises took on the body work and paint. After a very short turn around time the car was back at the shop with a beautiful, no tint silver paint job. The attention to detail is outstanding. With body work and paint to such a high standard, the M3 hardly looks modified.

We'll only show a glimpse of the paint until the final product is unveiled.

So where are we at now? We've recently received the car back from Ai Design with an all new interior. They have done a fantastic job which to the untrained eye has an OEM factory finish.

Before pictures are posted of the finished product the M3 will make its way back to Old School Enterprises one last time for the finishing touches.

Stay tuned...

[via Piper Motorsport]

M Power usually comes in a greater number of cylinders: six in an E46 M3, eight in the current M3, ten in an M5 and twelve in the McLaren F1. But this little four-pot—and you guessed S14B23 if you guessed right—is what powered the original E30 M3, that Lego block of automotive perfection able to give grown men the wobblies in the knees and the sighs on eBay.

The S14B23 has got quite a pedigree. The engine block is the M10, which has scaled in horsepower from 75 in the 1962 BMW 1500 sedan all the way to around 1500 in Gordon Murray’s sublime Brabham BT52, which gave Nelson Piquet the Formula One world title in 1983. The cylinder head is straight off the M88 engine from the M1 supercar, minus two cylinders.

In the E30 M3, the engine is 2.3 liters (93.4 mm bore × 84 mm stroke), naturally aspirated like every proper M and develops in the close neighborhood of 200 HP. Not bad at all for an unblown street engine in 1986.

But transcending all the numbers is the sheer ferocity of noise as the S14B23 approaches its readline of 7200 RPM. If you care—and are surrounded by noises less pleasant—you might as well hit play and listen to the sixteen valves of the very engine pictured here do their magic around a racetrack.

Yesterday, you didn't have to one-hit-wonder much about the Mercedes ML55, with 54% of you blessing its $14,000 price tag as nice-pricetastic. Today, we're going back to Germany for something with a little less celebrity, but greater rarity. Plus there's a girl!

The E30 3 series was the last of the boxy beemers. Upright and formal, with tidy styling, and available in four body styles: two-door, four-door, convertible and estate, which BMW tagged Touring.

Today's 325i Touring, as presented by the Vanna White impersonator in the ad, was the one body style never imported to the land of mono-linguists, despite its handsome proportions and potentially easy federalization. The only smallish German wagons offered at that time in the U.S. were the VW Quantum and Mercedes Benz E-Class, neither of which was as compact, nor flingable as the BMW 3 series. The Benz is typically driven by scotch-drinking soccer moms, and the Quantum only finds love these days with out of work MIT grads, and yuppies without the means to own a Volvo. This little family hauler would have fit an Audi A4 Avant-esque niche at the time, but, BMW didn't see fit to bring the body style over, and in fact denied the U.S. release for small kraut-wagon hard-ons until the E46 update, two generations later.

Under the hood, the SOHC M20 engine is stout and puts out 171bhp in Euro-guise, which should move the Beemer's ton and a half weight with reasonable alacrity. The seller offers a laundry list of updated consumables and notes a rare armrest/cupholder as a valuable incentive to purchase. Countering that is the 200K on the clock, which is 124,000 miles to those of you metriphobes. That's a lot of Autobahnstorming, and the 3-series, while sturdy, only have so much life in them, so take that into consideration. It's also important to note that this car is not kitted like most U.S.-bound cars were; it's mostly manual, with hand-crank windows and sunroof, and lacking factory A/C.

So what do you think of this E30 Estate? Is fifteen grand a nice price for so rare a wagon? Or is the only thing it's hauling is a big-ass case of crack pipe?

You decide!

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That's right, it appears that the three SHOs that started the race have become one running SHO and a pair of parts cars, and they've got plenty of wrenchin' company in the pits. Yet some of the cars are holding together, and we saw an ever-shifting cast of top contenders today. When the first session ended at 6:30, the Dirty Some Beaches Honda Civic station wagon was on top. How? Well, any Civic that can keep its head gasket intact will get around the track pretty well, and the Dirty Some Beaches drivers know how to avoid the black flags; we have yet to see them in the Penalty Box. Adding drama to the standings, the #4 car (a Miata run by the same Texans who have been the People's Curse victims in both Houston races so far) started out with a 25-lap penalty and has managed to claw its way out of that hole, now closing to within just two laps of the leader. And what's the deal with that Grand Prix in the top ten? There's no telling how this will all shake out, but it should be 90 degrees and swampy in Belle Rose tomorrow, which means more thrown rods, more fried brakes, and more overall hoonage.

The Dorifto Dogs' 1986 BMW 325e shook off the shame of their "Noch Einer Scheiß-E30" stencils to take the win, and it was quite the dramatic near-photo finish. The second-place Lightning McQueen Jetta was only about 40 seconds back when the checkered flag got busted out, and it had been steadily gaining about 5 seconds per lap on the Dogs for the prior hour or so. That's right, we've got German cars in first and second place this time; check in later for complete results.

So, with some translation help from Franzouse's Austrian friends, I made a stencil showing a Mr. Yuck-enhanced BMW logo and the words "Noch Einer Scheiß-E30" ("Yet Another Shitty E30"). Every E30 at LeMons South- and we're talking an endless parade here- got stenciled on every available surface, and most recipients were not very happy about it. The other teams were quite pleased, however, so it works out well. So, a message to you LeMons wannabes: before getting an E30, consider another car. Say, a Renault Fuego Turbo, or a VW Squareback!

Yes, the Autobahn Society Racing crew has made a 2002 into a painstaking replica of the Frank Stella 1976 3.0 CSL art car. This car is a veteran of the LeMons SF '08 race, where it finished 24th. This time it finished 80th.


The Altamont-vet "tank 5 Series" got zapped with a 150-lap BS Penalty right off the bat, which didn't sit too well with the team. Their best lap of 1:36.896 was quite impressive, though eventually they got put on the trailer for running 60-treadwear racing slicks, and parking-lot drift hilarity ensued.


You can usually spot a veteran of the legendary "Demolition Derby LeMons" race, aka the Gimme Shelter LeMons SF Fall '07 event, just by looking at the body panels, but the Mach Schnell car seems to have been beaten back into a semblance of factory appearance. This time the Schnells came in 25th, with a blistering 1:33.594 best lap.


Another battered Gimme Shelter Altamont vet, the Foolz came in 31st this time.


With nine penalties at the Yeehaw It's Texas '08 event the Sharks got 30th place this time. They drove like madmen fleeing a bank robbery and were on the receiving end of a textbook PIT Maneuver at the hands of a crafty RX-7. They also feature prominently in the Pandamonium Jackass Highlights Video, but the Sharks really do understand the spirit of LeMons and we hope to see them in future races.


Plucked from a swamp in the damp Pacific Northwest, this car had lichens growing all over its bodywork (and the most perfectly preserved 2002 dash in the entire world, which is no doubt headed for a lucrative sale on eBay). Thanks in part to a 35-lap bonus (but mostly due to their black-flag-free driving), the Hurling Mossers stunned the LeMons community with a 7th-place finish. OK, they'd have been 34th without the bonus, but everyone was still quite impressed.


Why don't we see more E24s at LeMons? You can get them cheap, junkyard 5 series cars provide plenty of parts, and they're quite fast; check out the 1:35.405 best lap on this car!





Another fast BMW (1:37.924 best lap), held back by reliability issues (and a 15-lap BS Penalty). 59th place.


This LeMons veteran ran a best lap of 1:36.083, but… 52nd place. Damn electronics!


The Porcubimmer was back, and the "angry porcupine" look was a real crowd-pleaser out there on the track. This time, the car held together pretty well, and the team notched a 32nd-place finish- no easy task in this race. Best lap time: 1:37.461. You can get the full story at the team site.


We liked the decoration on this car, which was yet another sub-1:38 hot-rod BMW with reliability problems. 78th place. Check out their excellent highlight video:





These guys have the #1 24 Hours Of LeMons video on YouTube, but the Porsche 944 just wasn't ready for Thunderhill and they showed up in a substitute E30 instead. Electrical malfunctions, blah blah blah, the usual E30 refrain. 81st place.


Here's an obvious Demolition Derby LeMons vet, not to mention all the California LeMons races since then. This E30 stayed clear of electrical demons and came in 10th place; you'll enjoy the team's mini-documentary.


We love literary and/or mythological references in team names, and the wing on the 55th-place Faustest E30 did look good.


Great team name, though we can't imagine many high-school kids wanted the 325e more than the 325iS. Look at that 1:34.669 best lap! Damn, those E30s are quick… but what's with the 65th-place finish?


Gimme Shelter '07 vet here, as you can tell by the much-bent-and-restraightened bodywork. The Bears did quite well at Thunderhill, coming in 28th and running a best lap of 1:37.341.

BMW E30s are easy to find in the self-service yards, and they came right from the factory with a very nice trunk-mounted battery setup. The big self-service junkyard chains generally have a single price for all battery cables, which means that the 15-footer that runs from the trunk to the engine compartment will cost the same as a skinny 18" job from a Sentra. When the Half Price Sale is on, we're talking about $7 for both cables and terminals; not a bad deal for 20 pounds of copper!


For its trunk-mounted battery setup, the Black Metal V8olvo used some 1-gauge welding cable I'd hoarded for years, but then the LeMons safety requirements mandated a battery cutoff switch. That meant we needed about 8' of additional cable in order to install our switch. I went right to this 325i, to do a little shopping. All you need to do to remove the positive battery cable is get the carpeting and passenger-side interior trim out of the way, then start clipping various tie-downs and clamps. BMW believes in absurd levels of overengineering leaving nothing to chance, which means this task will take a little while, but it's nothing very challenging.


Speaking of overengineering, why did a small car like the E30 need a super-fat 00-gauge battery cable? Was there a little-ordered in-car arc-welder option, or perhaps an antiaircraft searchlight mounted on the roof with certain trim packages? In any case, here's the new cable hooked up to the battery in our (somewhat cluttered) Volvo's trunk.


Here's the switch installed and wired. Thanks, BMW! Note: trunk-mounted batteries in street-driven cars need to be fully enclosed and vented outside the car, because otherwise they'll fill your trunk up with hydrogen and you'll go up like the Hindenburg.

The thing about transplants is you have to make sure the body doesn't reject the foreign organ. That's not the case with this 1974 BMW 2002 built by A1 Imports Autoworks in California. They replaced the original 1990 cc with the 2.5-liter S14 from an E30 M3. Not just any S14, but the S14 EVO, a limited-edition 1989 variant. Stroker kit, check. Hoonage potential, off the charts. Call it a DIY 135i. [Thanks to John for the tip.] – Mike Spinelli

Related:
Engine Swap of the Day: V8 Manta! [internal]

More so than just a Fantasy Garage entrant, the original BMW M Coupe may very well be the Official Car of Jalopnik. Before we get to the myriad reasons why that is, let me relate a little anecdote. Like most car enthusiasts nerds, I read about the M Coupe well before I ever saw one. And of course, I knew all about it. Best handling BMW ever, Ferrari-like acceleration, re-donk-ulous rear tires provide gecko-ish grip, sounds like a jet-engined rollercoaster, etc. I knew about the increased stiffness over the M Roadster, that they crammed the E46 M3's straight-six under the long snout and that Adolf Prommesberger, managing director of the M Division, went on record stating that the M Coupe is the car he drives home most nights. But you know how it goes. Every six months the buff books perform a collective circle jerk over the hot piece of German-ass de jour. Right now it's the R8. Come summer it will be the new M3. Hell, I'm guilty of giving the RS4 a no-look handjob or two. But the first time I saw the M Coupe, well friends, it stopped me cold. For while a 911's design may be more resolved/cleaner, and a Ferrari sexier, no car since Shelby's Cobra has looked as muscular and purpose built as the M Coupe.

See, unlike the majority of cars, and especially those from Germany, the M Coupe is not the work of brand managers. No, the M Coupe is purely the work of pistonhead engineers that built the car in secret and then somehow convinced upper management to sell the thing. Don't get me wrong. In general, German rides are (duh) the Bruciest. However the extreme anal-retentiveness that goes into each company matching each other car by car is old and dull. 3-Series/C-Class/A4 begatting 5-Series/E-Class/A6 begatting 7-Series/S-Class/A8 begatting X5/ML/Q7 is fantastic if, as a nation, you suffer from OCD. Sure, the Mercedes CLS was a welcome departure from the rigid norm, but almost immediately, BMW and Audi both set out to copy the Benz. But the original M Coupe, a South Carolina built, British-style shooting-brake putting out (nearly) 100 hp per liter is unique as modern cars get. Engineers who really, really, really love driving created this car to kick butt round the Ring and haul a dog. And that's it. And the result is so far beyond the pale that no manufacturer even bothered, let alone imagined, producing any competition. The M Coupe was free to live its short life unbenchmarked and unmolested by market expectations.

This car belongs to Carlos Segura. The lucky bastard

Arguably the best part of the M Coupe's story is that it shouldn't have happened at all. A renegade group of five BMW engineers, led by Burkhard Göschel, got a hold of a soon-to debut Z3 and decided to help it. They were displeased with its saggy bottom and the way its open top wreaked havoc with the trailing arms in the rear, causing the car to wobble. Cause wobble ain't precise. For the next few months, after work and on the weekends, the heroic five performed rhinoplasty on the diminutive retro drop top and out came the Z3 Coupe. Only these guys didn't spend all their free time just to make an odd looking wagon. They were thinking ultimate driving machine from the get go, rationalizing that they could convince BMW to build the M Coupe if there was a cheaper, lesser model. Which is why while Z3 roadsters have narrow hips and M Roadsters have broad ones, all Z3 Coupes never had anything but child-bearers. This new body made the Coupes 2.7-times stiffer than then their roadster siblings and at the time, the most rigid BMW yet built. The Z3 Coupe, unlike some 1.9-liter Z3s we know of, was never offered with anything less than a six. And thankfully, for the purposes of our fantasies, they dropped the M-Division's miraculous 3.2-liter straight six into the M.

Now the technical garbage. Tragically, BMW decided to make the initial M Coupes (1998 to 2000) different depending on the market. Meaning that west of the Atlantic cars got the short end of the engine stick. North American-spec cars received the peppy S52 inline-6 from the US E36 M3 that cranked out 240 hp and ran the M Coupe up to a limited top speed of 137 mph. Meanwhile European spec cars got the stupid-silly Euro E36 mill – known as the S50 B32 – which was good for 321 hp and a limited top speed of 155 mph. The engines were quite similar (stout iron blocks with aluminum heads) but there were differences. The more powerful Euro motor had higher compression, individual throttle plates and double VANOS for both intake and exhaust valves (the weaker S52 only had variable intake valves).

Then, in September of 2001, everything changed for the better when the "Engine of Damocles," the now familiar S54 B32 power plant from the E46 M3, was slammed into all M Coupes (and roadsters) regardless of national destination. The European model saw its power rise to 325 hp, while the American version came equipped with 315 hp. A word about this discrepancy. Initially BMW said the reduced power (compared to the 333 hp in the M3) was a result of different intake manifolds and exhaust doodads. Liars! The truth is that shoddy third party connecting rod bearings were exploding M3 engines at an alarming rate. You must never forget that while the men behind the M Coupe are the engineers from one of the most respected names in the biz, pr hacks still craft the press releases. Anyhow, the redline of the S54 was quietly dropped from the M3's Luciferian 8,000 rpm to a more minor-demon-like 7,600 rpm. Though plenty of aftermarket folks will re-chip the engine and replace the faulty rods. The difference between the US and Euro versions is smaller than it seems. True, tougher catalytic restrictions choke the US engine a bit more, but remember that 315 hp SAE Net is 320 hp DIN. And what are five horses among friends? Plus, the Porsche 996 only made 300 ponies back in 2001, so 315 hp in a lighter car was plenty.

Naturally, the M Coupe's performance is immense. 0-60 in 4.3 seconds is 0.3 seconds faster than a 427 Cobra. The quarter-mile goes by in less than 13 seconds, about the same as a 427 Cobra. While the top speed is supposedly limited, lots of hoons report 170 mph not being much trouble. And with de-limited M3s hitting 180+ mph, we figure the much lighter M Coupe (3,046 lbs. for the M Coupe vs. 3,415 lbs. for the M3) could dance that jig without much troublle. Though we would imagine the relatively primitive suspension would begin to fizzle at that pace. More importantly, third-gear is good for triple digits. Handling is in another realm compared to most cars, though more than one driver has cautioned against driving an M Coupe in the rain because of the giant tires, trailing arms and teeny wheelbase all conspire to hydroplane the car. In fact, many owners remove the wipers altogether, as they don't need them. Sure, there are cars that go faster, stop quicker and turn harder. But there were a lot less of them five years ago. And very few had normally aspirated 6-cylinders plus room for Fido.

To our minds, the M Coupe just frigging nails it. The styling is a Teutonic rendering of an E-Type coupe where the overt sex-appeal has been removed, leaving the M Coupe still phallic yet somehow perverse. The intent behind the car is pure Carroll Shelby, "Hey buddies – let's stuff a monster engine into a puny car and beat up on Ferraris." And the result is a TVR that's been to finishing school. The M Coupe might not drag its knuckles, but it will still smash a pint across a noggin from time to time. So, British style, American zeitgeist and German precision all come together for a brief moment and BMW doesn't even bother to market the poor thing. From 1998 to 2002 BMW only bothered to make 6,318 M Coupes. And only 10% of those are US-spec versions with the S54 engine. Even its fans refer to the M Coupe as the "clown shoe" and the annual M Coupe gathering is called Dorkfest. True, BMW has since replaced the old car with the new Z4-based M Coupe. But something fundamental is missing as the new car is too sterile, too well planned and, well, not nearly insane. Like the 959 or a Jenson Interceptor FF, the M Coupe is the way too rare result of what happens when engineers take over the asylum. Better than all its siblings and rarer, too, the M Coupe is without question more M than all the other M cars. As such, we strongly feel that the blackest sheep from the BMW farm deserves a pile of hay and a salt lick in our Fantasy Barn. What say you? – Jonny Lieberman

Valhoona Quality Video of an M Coupe Fleeing From Ghostrider

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[The Jalopnik Fantasy Garage appears every Tuesday. Readers vote the cars in or out. The idea is that we'll have 50 cars in our fantasy garage, the world's greatest mechanic and endless wads of cash. If you would like to nominate a car for our Fantasy Garage, email tips@jalopnik.com with the subject line "fantasy garage."]

Jalopnik Fantasy Garage, So Far:
· RUF RT12
· Maserati Quattroporte Executive GT
· 1978 Aston Martin V8 Vantage
· Honda 1300 Coupe 9
· 1931 Daimler Double Six 50 Corsica Drophead Coupe
· Ferrari 288 GTO
· Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1
· Volkswagen Phaeton W12
· 1970 Buick GSX 455

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Crowning the King of 1970: Buick GSX vs Chevy Chevelle SS. vs Olds 442 vs Pontiac GTO Judge | Spec'ing the BMW Z4 Replacement [Internal]