Jalopnik: Dui

Aversion Therapy Gives Us Safer Roads!

Murilee Martin — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:00:00 EST

Image source: Los Angeles Times, UCLA Library

Austria's Joerg Haider At Three Times Legal Alcohol Limit At Time Of Fatal Crash

Andrew Stoy — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:40:00 EDT

We recently told you about the death of far-right Austrian politician Joerg Haider at the wheel of his Volkswagen Phaeton. What we didn't know at the time was that Haider was thoroughly loaded when he plowed his VeeDub into a concrete pillar, registering 1.8 g/L — more than three times the Austrian legal alcohol limit. The politician was passing another car at more than twice the speed limit in the wee hours of the morning when the accident occurred. Ironically, upon learning alcohol was involved, Haider's successor demanded the media "stop investigating the accident" and respect the notoriously outspoken former leader's private life. [Yahoo! News]

Heather Locklear Arrested For DUI, Wasn't Drunk

Ray Wert — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:15:00 EDT

Gaze into the glazed eyes of Heather Locklear, taken after she was arrested around 5 p.m. Saturday evening when CHP officers found the actress in her parked car blocking traffic in Montecito, Calif. Exciting, yes, but the best part of the story's the police report, especially where a "concerned citizen" called police after witnessing Locklear "driving forwards and backwards over a pair of sunglasses and revving her engine" in a parking lot. Except, she wasn't drunk. Yup, you read that right. More after the jump.

The report goes on:

"The citizen became concerned when Ms. Locklear exited her vehicle and stumbled into the traffic lane...the citizen called 911 and reported the entire incident to CHP Ventura Dispatch."

The report goes on to state when officers arrived Locklear appeared disoriented, and after giving her a DUI test they determined it was not alcohol.

"Although obvious impairment was exhibited during the tests, alcohol was ruled out as a factor."

Locklear was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence and taken to the Santa Barbara CHP office.

"She was evaluated by a drug recognition expert, who concluded Ms. Locklear was under the influence of a controlled substance, and could not safely operate a motor vehicle."

[E! Online]

Transformers Star Shia LaBeouf Busted For DUI After Early Morning Accident

Ray Wert — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:21:03 EDT

TMZ's reporting Transformers star Shia LaBeouf faces misdemeanor DUI charges after he allegedly made an unsuccessful left turn in front of another car this morning at the corner of La Brea and Fountain in Hollywood. The Ford F-150 he was driving flipped with such force Spike Witwicky's real life counterpart sustained an injury to his left hand that required him to have minor surgery. An unidentified female riding with him and the male driver of the other car sustained minor injuries. Oh, if only he'd been driving Bumblebee, he'd have been able to take over the wheel from young Shia. Wait, why wasn't Shia's trusty Camaro driving the young lad?

As you can see from the photos below taken by the Transformers fan-boys of TFW2005, Bumblebee was busy this weekend in San Diego at the Comic-Con. Oh, Prime's gonna be SO pissed!

[TMZ, TFW2005]

Meet Bob Castle - Master Of The DUI

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 16:20:00 EDT

Bob Castle gets plastered on Aftershock cinnamon schnapps and then gets arrested for DUI. This is his lot in life, his calling. We hate to make light of someone putting others at risk with their irresponsible behavior, but come on, 16 DUI's and he's only 38? And who drinks the schnapster and admits to it? Castle is quoted as saying he doesn't have a drinking problem, he has a driving problem, we say you've got both buddy. Actually, at the moment he has neither. A Seattle judge threw the book at him on this 16th conviction (it took until now?) and he's going away for a year in the slammer. We'll put a dollar bet down that says he learns how to make prison wine inside a week. [Seattle Weekly]

Drunk Cop Naps In Squad Car... In An Intersection

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EDT

Soberness is so over-rated, especially if you were dealing with 100,000 drunken morons last Saturday at the Texas Motor Speedway. This had to be the conclusion drawn by Fort Worth Police Officer Clinton Wyatt after spending his day on duty there. So why not knock back a few when your shift ends at six? And a couple more? And a couple more? No problem. Just don't get into your marked cruiser and drive anywhere, that's not smart . And were you do that, it certainly wouldn't be smart to fall asleep at a major signaled intersection — in the middle of the road — where at 3:49 AM another officer arrests you for drunk driving. At least Officer McDrinky didn't pull a Michael McDowell. [Star-Telegram]

Because Trucks Don't Float!

Murilee Martin — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:00:00 EST

It's impossible not to love an ad for a vehicle that includes the statement: "You're stuck on one hole and you're using a vehicle that sinks to get there. There is a better way." Yes indeed, folks, there is a better way to go ice fishing! See, all the time that you spend moving your ice-fishing shack around the frozen lake, rescuing your sunken pickup truck, etc... that's time you could be spending pounding peach schnapps! For you, the folks at Wilcraft have produced the Ultimate Ice Fishing Rig. It floats, it has tracks, and it has a built-in canvas enclosure to keep your schnapps from freezing. Thanks to Thunder for the tip! [Wilcraft]

The Meaning of True Love, Central Valley Style

Murilee Martin — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 09:15:00 EST

Yesterday, while I was ~~slaving~~ working at the ~~salt mine~~ day job, a junk fax came in to inform me and my ~~fellow miners~~ coworkers of an offer of a "Valentine's Day Romantic Getaway Vacation" at a freeway motel on the outskirts of Modesto. For $99, we learned, you could take that special someone to a nicotine-yellowed room that had no doubt housed a bubbling red-phosphorus-heavy meth lab the week before and experience exquisite romance to the soundtrack of Jake Brakes on Highway 99 right outside the window. As part of the deal, you'd get "complimentary pink M&Ms and rose petals," you know, to get ol' Cupid all geared up to make with the bow-and-arrow business.

So that's Valentine's Day in the Valley. Of course, we shouldn't stereotype California's Central Valley too heavily here; after all, Merle Haggard, George Lucas, and Joan Didion (to name a few) hail from Central Valley cities. Not only that, the Central Valley feeds the a good chunk of the world with its staggering output of produce. So keep that in mind when you read this Valentine's Day tale of true love and possible redemption in Sacramento. And, yes, we know it might be a hoax, but let's all just suspend our disbelief, as we so often must with matters of the heart. Thanks to tipster king LTDScott for the tip! [Craigslist Sacramento (go here if ad disappears)]

World's Best Mom: Buckles Up Case Of Beer Instead Of Toddler

Murilee Martin — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 08:00:00 EST

Floridian Tina Williams had had "a few" drinks, lacked a driver's license, and was seen running a red light and swerving across traffic lanes; she played the "I was running out of gas" attempt-to-get-out-of-DUI card with the arresting officer, with predictable lack of success. So far we're not even talking local news story here, but there's more. What catapulted Ms. Williams into the spotlight for her 15 minutes of unwanted fame was the fact that her 1-year-old was roaming around loose in the back seat, yet a case of Busch was safely buckled up in the shotgun position. You know, priorities! [Smoking Gun]

Drunk Drives Lawn Mower in Ill-Fated Booze Run

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 10:30:00 EST

Sometimes it's so easy to be proud of your fellow statesmen. Let's say you live in Adrian, Michigan, your wife has taken the car, you have run out of wine, and there's a snowstorm raging outside. What would you do? If you were Frank Kozumplik, you would hop on your John Deere lawn mower and drive down the middle of the street to the liquor store to get some more. Police arrested Mr. Kozumplik after catching up to him as he made his way home with four more bottles and a 0.20 BAC. The coppers seized the mower and released Mr. Kozumplik to his home, where he likely finished his bottles and made another attempt on a child's big wheel. [via MLive.com]

Booze Cruise Radio-Controlled Car Game

Murilee Martin — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 14:00:00 EST

We're not suggesting that folks playing a few spirited rounds of Radio Controlled Highball Navigation are necessarily going to feel inspired to hop in a real car and cause a gory 25-car pileup, but there's something a bit, you know, unsettling about the Booze Cruise Radio Controlled Car. It looks as if you set your drink in the roof-mounted cup holder and then attempt to drive it through an obstacle course straight to your powerful thirst. [Car Crazy Gifts]

Man Who Drove Car Off Parking Deck Was Drunk

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:15:00 EST

Yesterday we told you about the guy that drove his Ford Taurus off a parking garage only to be saved by a few cables that prevented the oval auto from crashing into the ground 200 feet below. We were fairly sure that it was a botched suicide attempt, but we were wrong. It turns out the guy was just totally hammered.

I don't care what you've done when you were drunk, unless you accidentally killed someone it's not going to be worse than waking up from an unconscious state to see the concrete seven floors below. After being released for a cut to his shoulder the driver was charged with damaging property and a DUI. Let this be a friendly reminder from the folks at Jalopnik that you should stay sober when you get behind the wheel this holiday season if only because we doubt anyone will be this lucky again. [AP with photos via WGCL-TV]

Plan on Dying From DUI This Holiday? Win a Free Coffin!

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 09:30:00 EST

A newspaper in St. Mary's, Maryland is offering a free coffin to the first person to kill themselves in a drunk driving accident over the holiday season. The editor's brother was killed by a drunk driver in 1975 and has been crusading against drunk driving ever since. It's a compelling message, though we wonder how effective it's going to be. Though we do hear Tony La Russa is an early favorite.

Reading the guy's newspaper (St. Mary's Today) makes use wonder if he isn't a bit off. That being said, I'm sure most of us have lost people we cared about to drunk driving and hope that no one has to claim the prize. [Total Lawyers Blog]

Tony La Russa Not Convincing in Field Sobriety Tests

bwojdyla — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 17:45:00 EST

Both Jalopnik and sister site Deadspin covered news of Cardinals manager Tony La Russa being a sleepy drunk driver back in March, but now we can see the video evidence. On November 28th, prosecutors in the case finally released the video from the cruiser and booking proceedings. Frankly, we're surprised that Mr. La Russa was able to walk a straight-ish line, hold up his foot for five-ish seconds, and recite the alphabet (ABCDEFGHIJKLMIZMNOPPQRSTUVZTVXYXZ) after two whole glasses of wine and a 6 a.m. wake up call. What kind of asshole restaurant serves wine that shoots you past 0.092 BAC after only two glasses anyway? We love that Ford product placement at the beginning too. Those viral marketers are clever ones.

Limo Drivers Beg Celeb Handlers to Keep Clients from Driving Themselves

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:45:00 EST

In one of the odder press releases to come across our desk lately, the National Limo Association (NLA) is pleading with celebrity handlers to spare their clients the embarrassment of a DUI mug shot this holiday season by hiring a limo driver. And while we agree with the sentiment (no one wants to be remembered as the person killed by an old pop star's illegitimate offspring in a drunk driving accident), we question the sincerity of a Limo org that claims they just want to remind the uber rich that may "have forgotten" that chauffeured transportation exists. I guess LiLo and Paris Hilton are too busy to remember about limos and not just irresponsible. The press release is below the jump:

The "Gatekeepers" of Public Figures May Hold the Key to Safety During the Most Celebrated Time of Year

Managers, Publicists, Agents and Assistants of the Rich and Famous Challenged by the National Limousine Association to Keep VIPs Safe and Smart this Holiday Season

Los Angeles, CA (November 27, 2007) - The National Limousine Association (NLA) announced today an unprecedented holiday outreach campaign to educate the managers, publicists and agents who handle celebrities, athletes, business executives and other public figures, about considering a chauffeured transportation service as an alternative to allowing their clients drive under the influence.

As part of the campaign, Jeff Greene, president of the NLA, will be contacting gatekeepers of the leading and most visible personalities in sports, business and entertainment industries and reminding them that they hold much of the responsibility in making sure that their client arrives home safely. The campaign will include letters, emails and personal outreach. The timing of this campaign is essential because, according to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), there is a significant increase in the number of alcohol-related crashes as the holiday season draws near.

"After discussing this issue in great detail, the NLA board determined that most high profile individuals don't make driving arrangements themselves, and instead look to their managers, assistants and agents to do that for them," says Greene. "For this reason, we are targeting our campaign towards those individuals as a wake-up call that chauffeured transportation is the right solution for their clients."

By offering chauffeured transportation, these gatekeepers can also assure that their clients can avoid adverse publicity, law suits, and the additional financial consequences that accompany driving under the influence.

"In the past, for celebrities like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, it was difficult enough to drive with the paparazzi in your face let alone under the influence, which is why we are speaking out to those who make arrangements for high profile people. Britney Spears would not have had her rights to drive with her children in the car taken away if she used a car and driver," says Greene.

With more than 2300 members, the NLA makes finding a limousine or chauffeured transportation service easy. Regardless of needs, a professional driver can transport individuals safely and discreetly in a vehicle of choice, ranging from a stretch limousine to an anonymous luxury sedan, at rates significantly below what it costs to pay DUI fees and recover negative press.

The NLA encourages entertainment and business organizations to plan ahead this season by visiting www.nlaride.com to find a local NLA member owner/operator. Each NLA member adheres to a voluntary, but rigorous, set of standards including discretion and protocol, vehicle inspections, chauffeur training, background checks, and suggested guidelines for owners/operators.

"Chauffeured transportation is an obvious choice for many who attend various events at which there is alcohol served, but with our campaign, perhaps we can remind those who have forgotten," said Greene.

World's Best Dad: Drunk 13-Year-Old Forced To Drive Drunk Dad Home

Murilee Martin — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 08:30:00 EST

So you're sampling the nightlife of bustling Clio, Michigan, and you've taken your 13-year-old son along for a family-bonding-style evening of Long Island Ice Teas chased with Bacardi 151 shots. Well, sure enough, here comes closing time... and you just don't feel up to navigating the ol' truck back home to Flint. What to do? Why, make the kid drive! He had way less to drink than you, right? It's all about safety! But that darn shortcut through the park- which looked like such a promising way to avoid the Clio PD- resulted in a stuck truck, followed by flashing colored lights, stainless-steel bracelets, and a likely future visit from Children's Protective Services. [Associated Press]

Kids Jump From Drunken Dad's Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:00:00 EST

What do you get when you're so drunk that children start jumping out of you car? Arrested! And you get entered in our informal "world's best dad" competition. John S. Felix of Des Moines, Iowa clearly edges out BMW's Thomas Moser for his thrilling act of child endangerment. The local police noticed something awry when they saw two kids jump out of the driver's side window of Felix's car. The kids flagged down police to let them know that daddy was drunk again. To make matters worse, Dad's girlfriends' kids had apparently already jumped out of the car blocks earlier! Felix denied the charges, but would probably accept this novelty mug if we filled it with Coors Light. [Des Moines Register]

Kiefer Sutherland Arrested for DUI, No Word On Who Will Now Stop Terrorist Plot

Ray Wert — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:58:36 EDT

Kiefer Sutherland was arrested last night for a DUI when he was pulled over about 1:30 a.m. in West Los Angeles near La Cienega and Beverly boulevards after police spotted him making an illegal U-turn. No word yet on whether he was chasing terrorists at the time or how much time was left today when it happened. Full report from LA Times below the jump.

"Sutherland, 40, was pulled over about 1:30 a.m. in West Los Angeles near La Cienega and Beverly boulevards after police spotted him making an illegal U-turn, said Officer Ana Aguirre, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles Police Department
Aguirre said Sutherland failed a field sobriety test and a breathalyzer, blowing over the legal blood alcohol limit of 0.08%, after which he was arrested on the misdemeanor charge of driving under the influence.

He was booked at Hollywood station and released about 4 a.m. after posting $25,000 bail, Aguirre said. Sutherland is scheduled to appear in court Oct. 16, Aguirre said."

[via Defamer]

Whiskey Bottle, Brand New Car: Gary Rossington's Torino

Murilee Martin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:00:13 EDT

First of all, apologies for the crappy quality of the image above; we scoured the internet for literally dozens of minutes and this was the best we could do. Since we've decided to follow up International Corinthian Leather Day with Intergalactic Malaise Era Torino Day, it's only right that we mention one of the most famous Torinos of them all: the 1976 Torino (equipped with vinyl top, of course) that Lynyrd Skynyrd guitarist Gary Rossington rammed into a tree, a telephone pole, and a house after passing out drunk behind the wheel. This incident served as the inspiration for the 70s "do as I say, not as I do" anthem "That Smell." [Official Lynyrd Skynyrd History Site]

Legless Drunk Steers Truck While Legged Drunk Works Pedals

Murilee Martin — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 15:00:00 EDT

So who's actually driving the vehicle, legally speaking, when one guy's at the wheel and another is operating the pedals? And what if the guy at the wheel has no legs? Sadly, the case of Harvey Miller and Edwin H. Marzinske won't be the one that goes all the way to the Supreme Court for a ruling on this burning legal issue, because both of them were schnockered when they tried to drive a Chevy truck home from their Blatz-chugging Wisconsin revelry. [International Herald Tribune]

Bill Murray Caught Drunk Driving In Sweden...In A Golf Cart

Ray Wert — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 16:30:00 EDT

Bill Murray was up to his old "Caddyshack" hijinks again while spending some time in Sweden at a charity golf tournament. Murray was doing the usual ball-shaggin' thing — drinking and hootin' n' hollerin' and generally carrying on like any other golfer driving a golf cart. The only problem was that he was driving not on a golf course, but on a major road in downtown Stockholm. Swedish police, no relation to the meatballs of the same name claim the 56-year-old actor-comedian would only be charged if tests show his blood alcohol level exceeded the legal limit, which is quite low in Sweden. Better that than the other possible charge of rodenticide. [city.se via MSNBC]

Another DUI For Lindsay Lohan?

Ray Wert — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 10:45:00 EDT

Glad to hear that whole rehab thing was working so well for her. Apparently, according to the Associated Press:

"Lindsay Lohan, who just finished a second stint in rehab for substance abuse treatment, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving and possession of cocaine early Tuesday, authorities said.

Lohan, who is already facing a drunken driving charge in Beverly Hills, was stopped near the Santa Monica Police Department after authorities were called about a car chasing another vehicle, said Sgt. Shane Talbot.

Authorities conducted a field sobriety test and then transported Lohan to the police department.

A breath test was conducted and her blood alcohol was between .12 percent and .13 percent, Talbot said. California's legal limit is 0.08 percent.

The 21-year-old actress was booked on two misdemeanor charges of suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving on a suspended license and two felony charges of possession of cocaine and transport of a narcotic, Talbot said.

During a pre-booking search, police found cocaine in one of Lohan's pants pockets, Talbot said."

Although we did hear she managed not to flash anyone her crotch. So there's that, we guess. (Hat tip to Tim!) [via MSNBC]

Man Dragged To Death In Attempt To Stop Girlfriend's Drunk Drive

Murilee Martin — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 16:00:00 EDT

Things were going pretty good at the Lawn Guyland house party, but then a very schnockered Jesenia Vega decided to stagger out to her Nissan and hit the DUI road. Her boyfriend (shouting "You're gonna go to jail! You're gonna go to jail!") followed her, wedged himself between Vega and the driver's-side door, and tried to grab the keys before she killed somebody. Unfortunately, she did kill somebody; he ended up trapped beneath the car and dragged several blocks. What, she never heard of calling a goddamn cab? [New York Post]

The Grim Life Of Korean Designated Drivers

Murilee Martin — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:30:01 EDT

We've all heard about various services that let folks who've swilled a few too many Everclear-and-Hawaiian-Punch cocktails dial a number and have a sober driver show up to drive them home in their own cars (Top Gear has documented such a service in London, for example). However, the South Korean version of this service has the nation's 100,000 rent-a-designated-driver employees toiling in a Dickensian world of belligerent customers, rides hitched home from edge-city truck stops, and general harshness. The whole thing sounds like good material for a plaintive country song, Korean style.

Drinkers in Korea Dial for Designated Drivers [New York Times]

Related:
Booze-Induced Drivin' Confidence Through The Ages [internal]

Dude, What's The Side-Impact Rating On Your Truck?

Murilee Martin — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:30:04 EDT

Stuntdriver can be thanked for tipping us off about this fine piece of hoonage. We got a doomed Subaru. We got a doomed Bronco. We got beer. Most importantly, we got incredible, jaw-dropping stupidity! This one gets slapped with a 15-point penalty for the bad music, but we're going to give it back 5 points for editing the film down to the hoonage itself and not spending several minutes showing drunken frat boys going "WHOOOO!" at the camera, slapping each other on the ass, showing off their rebellious tatts, etc (it's really a shame how many hoonage videos are ruined by such stuff). Because of the many ways this one could have gone fatally awry, we're going to award it a powerful 39 points on the Hoon-O-Meter. And- need we say it?- please don't try this dumbassness at home!

Cokehead Driver Grows Maze in Field!

Davey G. Johnson — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:15:00 EDT

An intoxicated driver, apparently coked to the gills, attempted to elude capture by the po-pos in England by driving into a field. The result? Four damaged patrol units, the offending driver's car in a ditch and a crop formation that would even give M. Night Shyamalan an uncontrollable case of the jibblies. [Thanks to Haller for the tip.] – Davey G. Johnson

Driver comes a cropper in police chase [Metro, UK via Boing Boing]

Related:
FIA Not Down With Booger Sugar [Internal]

Reefer-Mad Aussies Suck On Doobs, Kill Passengers!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:00:50 EDT

From a purely technical standpoint, we've got to give this Australian don't-do-dope-and-drive ad a thumbs-up for production value: the crackling sound of the joint burning, the purplish light playing tetrahydracannabinolically over the devilweed-maddened hopheads' faces, the foreshadowing of heartbreak and tragic loss as Stony McDope passes his stick of tea over to the doomed Rebecca Redeyes. However, we have a few suggestions: First, the car is all wrong; they should be driving a Valiant Charger with a Hemi Slant Six. Second, the music playing in the vehicle- come on, if there ever was a time to play AC/DC, this is it (though Atomic Bitchwax would work as well). Third, the crash scene is just plain weak; the horror-movie screaming is fine, but we want to see a goddamn fireball here! – Murilee Martin

Related:
Even Sergeant Stedenko Could Handle This Bust [internal]

Wrong-Way Vallejo Drunk Driver Crashes Into ANOTHER Drunk Driver

Murilee Martin — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 18:00:18 EDT

At first, the CHP figured they were dealing with just your everyday average kind of drunk-in-Passat driving on the wrong side of I-80 the other night (when the ethanol-enhanced Passat pilot realized the law was onto him, he figured he'd be all crafty-like, shutting off his headlights and speeding up). Then, tragedy: the Passat smashed head-on into a Grand Prix... also driven by a drunk, causing serious injuries to the two drivers plus the Passat's passengers. We like to see drunks taken off the roads, but not this way. – Murilee Martin

Major injuries in I-80 crash [San Francisco Chronicle]

Paris Checks In To Jail, We Lose Easy Jokes For Three Weeks

Ray Wert — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 10:15:00 EDT

As you can see from the TMZ video above, Paris surrendered herself to the authorities out in Cali last night to serve her sentence for violation of parole after her DUI. That means for the next 45 days (23 as long as Paris is on good behavior), we'll be totally Paris-free. That's three long weeks without glimpses of her sliding out of a Mercedes SLR, losing a Bentley (and her top) in a poker game, garage hit-and-run action, DUI-action and losing her Continental GTC to the police. You know, despite the loss of such easy jokes for the next three weeks, we're pretty certain we'll get on just fine without her. Maybe she'll even shiv someone and have to spend the full 45 days. One can only dream. – Ray Wert

Paris Hilton checks into Los Angeles County jail [CNN]

Related:
Paris Hilton [internal]

Lindsay Lohan Gets Busted For DUI, "Coke" In Car

Ray Wert — Tue, 29 May 2007 13:00:00 EDT

For real — who didn't see this coming? Apparently getting busted for a DUI after busting up your black Mercedes SL 65 didn't teach the young tart anything, as she was seemingly back to her old ways two nights later. Luckily, she wasn't driving this time, as she was merely seen unconscious under the influence in the passenger seat of her GMC. Lucky for her, a UUI isn't illegal. – Ray Wert

'COKED' LOHAN [NY Post via Gawker]

Schnockered Napervillians Can Get a Tow Home

Murilee Martin — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:30:25 EDT

So you and your buddies in Naperville, Illinois, drive the Chrysler over to the nearest watering hole on Dollar Sidecar Night. Next thing you know, all that Cointreau has you using parking meters as walking sticks, the whole bit. In the old days, your options were limited: Take a cab home and come back the next day to pick up your car, or crawl behind the wheel and risk death and/or jail time on your swervy course home. But now there's a third option: a local tow-truck company offers a service called NDUIT (No DUI Tonight), and for $85 ($65 if you reserve ahead of time) they'll take you and your vehicle home. Wait, doesn't AAA already do this? – Murilee Martin

Bar patrons can get a tow home [Courier-News]

Related:
Drunk Dad Passes Out While Pumping Gas [internal]

Eve Arrested After Maserati Mess On Hollywood Boulevard

Ray Wert — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 13:15:00 EDT

The always fun at parties Eve was arrested for suspicion of a DUI after she crashed her gold Maserati on Hollywood Boulevard early this morning. According to the always on the scene TMZ, "she hit the center divider, totaling the front of her car." Right after the accident, cops arrived to drop handcuffs onto her wrists and hauled her off to the local clink as you can see in the video from the always-celeb-gawkin' site. The best part is when Eve was sprung early this morning she was picked up by — yup, you guessed it — another Maserati. What — did she get some sort of a "buy a Quattroporte, get a free coupe" deal? – Ray Wert

Rapper Eve Busted for DUI after Maserati Mash-Up [TMZ.com]

Drunk Blows 0.47 On Breathalyzer, Breaks Washington State Record

Murilee Martin — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 19:45:12 EDT

Talk about the award you don't want to win! Ex-cop Deana F. Jarrett of Woodinville eliminated all contenders for the Washington's Drunkest Driver Ever record by registering an embalming-fluid-esque 0.47% blood-alcohol reading. She'd been in a couple of hit-and-run collisions immediately prior to being busted (plus she'd been popped for DUI just the previous week). Doctors estimate a person her size would have to drink about 25 ounces of hard liquor- say, a fifth of Wild Turkey- in a very short time in order to hit 0.47; any level above 0.40% is considered potentially lethal. – Murilee Martin

Blood-alcohol level of Woodinville driver breaks state record [Seattle Times]

25 Years Since The Great Caldecott Tunnel Fire

Murilee Martin — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 16:30:12 EDT

Ever wonder why most major highway tunnels prohibit tanker vehicles containing flammable liquids (except, in some cases, during certain designated hours)? Tanker drivers can blame the Caldecott Tunnel Fire of 1982 for such regulations. A drunk San Leandro bookkeeper hit the curb in the northern bore, stalling the car and triggering the wreck of a gasoline tanker and an apocalyptic fire that claimed seven lives. The scars from the fire were still visible on the tunnel walls until fairly recently. – Murilee Martin

Tunnel fire seared into memories [Contra Costa Times]

Drinking and (Zamboni) Driving DO Mix!

Murilee Martin — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 09:36:19 EDT

A judge in New Jersey has ruled that a man busted for operating an indoor-ice-rink Zamboni with a blood alcohol level of 0.12 percent (Sambuca-and-Valium breakfast, with some dispute about the timing of subsequent beer and vodka consumption) won't get a DUI offense out of it, because a Zamboni can't be driven on public highways or carry passengers. The Zamboni operator, John Peragallo, had been snitched off to the law by a coworker when he was observed speeding and "nearly crashing" into the boards. – Murilee Martin

Judge rules ice rink groomer can't be charged with DUI at wheel of Zamboni [Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune]

BOOOO! Phillies Fan Passes Out On Audi Gas Pedal! BOOOO!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 17:45:27 EDT

So you've taken yourself out to the ball game and spent nine long innings boo, boo, booing for the home team, but instead of peanuts and Cracker Jack you've bought 19 cold foamers (the better to wash down that pint of Granddad you smuggled past stadium security). Whoa, little too much buzz! Well, better stagger out to the parking lot and rest for a while in the Audi... where you start the engine and promptly pass out with your foot wedged on the gas. The good news is that some fellow Philadephians rocked the brotherly love and shut off your engine before it spun all the bearings; the bad news is that they filmed the incident and posted it online for the world to see. – Murilee Martin

Related:
Drunk Dad Passes Out While Pumping Gas [internal]

Drunk Dad Passes Out While Pumping Gas

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:45:00 EDT

I can only guess what issues Wes Anderson has with his father, but I'm fairly sure the senior Anderson has nothing on this delinquent dad from Auckland, New Zealand. With his two year-old girl in the car, he drove into a local gas station and attempted to pump gas. Nothing strange there. But, allegedly, he was so drunk (four times the legal limit) that he fell asleep midstream next to the car. When he woke up 40 minutes later, the bad dad was in police custody and his car was being hooked up to a tow truck. Let's all just be thankful that this story ended with incarceration and not immolation. – Matt Hardigree

Tot Saved As Dad Flakes [Daily Post]

DUI Day Afternoon: Now It's Tony La Russa's Turn!

Murilee Martin — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:57:06 EDT

We're just overwhelmed by the drunk-driving stories today, folks. Now it's time for multi-World-Series-winning baseball manager Tony La Russa to pose for grainy mugshots and mutter not-quite-apologies at the inevitable press conference. This one bums me out a bit, being an A's fan and all; La Russa always seemed to have more class than this. Damn, can't these guys afford taxis? – Murilee Martin

Cardinals manager charged with suspicion of DUI [SI.com]

Mechanic Awakens To Find Drunk's Jeep Parked Over His Bed

Murilee Martin — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 16:32:21 EDT

With all the car-hits-building stories that we hear about, it was only a matter of time before some inebriate's vehicle ended up positioned over the head of some mechanic after crashing into his house, presenting the unfortunate wrench, in this case a Virginia gentleman named Dean Blevins, with a combo workplace-themed nightmare/huge property damage scenario. "If I'd a had my gun," quoth Mr. Blevins, "I'd a probably shot him." – Murilee Martin

Jeep crashes through wall, pins Roanoke man in bed [Richmond Times-Dispatch]

Related:
It's Schadenfriday! And We're Laughing at Her! [internal]

Vivica Fox Popped for DUI: "I Got Drunk And Drove, I Wish To God That I Hadn't, But I Did."

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 15:30:05 EDT

Obviously distraught after getting booted off Dancing With The Stars, Vivica A. Fox (known to many as Vernita Green) apparently got liquored up and decided to go for a drive. She was pulled over late Tuesday in LA after passing a patrol car at 80 mph and then failed a field sobriety test. A breathalyzer test revealed a blood-alcohol level above the legal limit and she was hauled off to the pokey. No word on if she screamed "You can't do this to me, i was in Soul Food" at any time during the arrest. – Matt Hardigree

Vivica A. Fox Arrested in LA [AP via Forbes]